I have no one to talk to now so I have decided my words to talk to you because you are somewhere here on earth (Aren’t you?)
No one really knows the process of how the Internet evolved to where it is now but certainly, it has given us the capacity to communicate in ways we probably never thought were possible a couple of years ago.
BUT, that is not what I want to talk about.
I want to talk about dreams in what part they play as it concerns a relationship broken or mended. I remember me and Miss X use to get these dreams all the time. Every time she dreamed, she would remember every detail of it. She always told me that there was a way for everyone to remember their dreams. Apparently, psychology and experts have come to an agreement you could. I have yet to know that formula. I always seem to remember bits and pieces, and so when someone was to ask me. I would make it up along the way where I forgot. I mean, they wouldn’t know the difference anyway, because it was MY dream. No one really likes hearing a good story, and then the storyteller stops and says. “Then..I don’t remember…”
People can deal with not remembering but they rather you add something for the sake of the story. Imagine going to a movie and right at the climax, it just stops. It’s the same feeling when watching one of your favorite shows, and the ‘TO BE CONTINUED…‘ Slaps your anticipation in the face. That sucks, but even more so; if it’s a real event you really have no clue on how to finish. That is when you start making some details up which make some type of sense. Nonetheless this morning, I remember large details from this dream. It’s speaking to me, and it makes my heart apprehensive. I remember I made a video called:
‘2 Giants Kissing In The Land Of Small Things’
This video best summarizes this dream. I made the video about a year ago, and the meaning makes sense now. I remember I heard the voice ‘2 Giants Kissing IN The Land Of Small Things’ while in my best friends car in New Orleans. It just came to me like that, so as inspiration so often does.I just went along with that voice. I wrote a little story about it and eventually, I made the video you see above.
Me and Miss X were like TWO BIG Giants kissing in the land of small things. When you think of that scenario that births out an equation of miniature or major chaos within romance! We were two large giants in our own respects and we were romantic. However, the setting was small. We were somewhat locked in a time that had to mean and where space had walls. I remember telling her – I want to be at a place where time has no meaning and space has no more walls. She always looked at us being at this place already, but it still seemed as if we were not there. In my opinion; it’s as if we wanted to believe we were there because we loved each other so. When you’re in love – imagination windows a picture of perfection or at least contentment in what is there. It windows so many elements that are not necessarily the mirror of what will be revealed.
In the dream, we met up in an exotic town, and she looked so beautiful to me. I held her and my heart sunk. We both cried and looked at each other with immense realizations that this was our final destination. I told her I love her, and she told me she loved me. We were on our way boarding a train, when her Father came, (kind of playing around with me as if he wanted to slap my hand, but then he shook his head and suckered punch me and started to laugh.) As we boarded the train it was only me and her together, and somehow our setting seemed maximized as if we could kiss in peace without the restrictions of small lands.
Immediately after this dream. I remained quiet for about an hour. Just reviewing all of this in my head. Upon reflex of this dream, I started to call her and expose my love and desire. But, I’ve been there and done that. If by any realization of reconciliation, it must be done face to face. In this digital age, it’s so easy to communicate; but it does not engage anything. Face to Face allows full emotion, and for details to paint themselves. When my money has grown in the fullness of time there lays the edge to make this land FIT for us. A place where we can come together in romance not be coming off the edge of small things. Being at a place that is shy to the motions of enlargement; which always seemed to embarrass us.
I haven’t visited any social sites pertaining to her name. Instagram being the exception as we share common friends, but I haven’t written to her in the solitude of my chants. Neither has she. I realize if the time and space will come, it will then be under the God-given ability of action. Writing this now has really welcomed me into peace. I feel so much better just reminiscing about the truth of my dreams. I hope all of you out there, can count the reflections of love in the summary of your desires. Don’t ever feel like a remote. You can program the destination you want to go. It often takes two, but before one is added You can still pronounce ‘Mono Realities’. Sometimes in the solitude, you feel the haunt and taunt. Billy Holiday told the truth in this:
‘In My Solitude’
“In my solitude, you haunt me
With reveries of days gone by
In my solitude, you taunt me
With memories that never die
I sit in my chair
Filled with despair
Nobody could be so sad
With gloom everywhere
I sit and I stare
I know that I’ll soon go mad
In my solitude
I’m praying
Dear Lord above
Send back my love”
When the world is sleeping, I hear the memories. When everyone is gone, and no one to talk to me. I do sit and stare..going mad! LOL. But I know the solitude days are only given when one loses focus on the motions of changing for a season. Prayer always keeps me in fellowship with my spirit and God. Say what you want about prayer; the reason we pray is to be intimate with the creator. I don’t pray out of just desperation. I’m not the one to look up to the sky when something is going wrong. I pray because of identification within the struggle. I have one to listen, and that one knows what it is I am going through.
I’ll be OK, in fact, I am going to start working sometime soon. It’s been rough finding in employment being that its summer and 100+ degrees outside. It’s 107F’ now. Crazy! However, I will make my money and move out of these walls. The time is sooner than ever, especially considering the small occupations that have now been made available. I won’t entertain the physicality or even the notion of a flirt; so many have done that before, but the planets which orbit around the sun have made their existence known by the looking into the telescope. Now we can see through the money and perseverance due to the eager want to leave. AND I will leave…AND You’re gonna See me!
Summarized Notion For Thought: I realize that the message I hear, are futuristic imaginations of reality. This is only for a little while, but in this land, I am a giant and my kiss is Mono. The chaos is only in the anticipation of arrival.
Yes indeed. because I’m curious I had to go to your blog for the first time in weeks, since you went to mine. I honestly thought you had deleted me from your life completely; that’s understandable and alright. I can tell by reading your blog that I wasn’t all the way sleeping because I kept hearing face to face from you. I still wonder whether or not you still see a future with me? Or did you throw it away because your heart is cold and emotionless. Certainly you love me because that wont go away anytime soon(it takes months and years for some ppl) but when I read this: I can’t stop but thinking that you somehow want me to see you despite what happened? Why is that, stop coming up with excuses that you don’t want to see me and accept the reality that youve been talking about for months; which is that you long to see me. It’s not lust at all at this point it’s the pure realization that you want it your way. I don’t know why I’m persuaded to write you right now but I am. I feel as if I don’t get this out my heart it will never be out. I have millions of questions but not enough to entertain them with you anymore; you were my bestfriend, my lover and my soulmate : you are none of that today. Yet you want to see me? I always was intrigued by your logic because it’s very different from my own; we are people of different kind and not something that works. Somehow deep down, you hope to find me and get back with me (remember love is stronger than pride ) because else you would have no desire to see me. Perhaps you don’t and this is the last message you’ll receive from me. I would have traveled the world for you and I was willing to do it all for you; I think you have the same mindset. You know that I am possibly that person you are meant to be with for the rest of your life, marry and have childen with and that’s why you wanted to explain to me that you were not looking for someone else and that you were not fucking around. It’s ok, but don’t lie about it and try to make it seem as if you don’t believe this. The realization is that despite us NOT being together there’s always been a profound love that neither of us ever understood. I’ve been the first one to always want to break free even tho it didn’t work because I can’t do things when they feel wrong. I know for a fact that I will see you (and if I don’t well such is life) because you write about it, you talk about it, you told me and most importantly you told yourself that you would and how could you break a promise to yourself? But why do you want to see us in a place where time has no meaning? Because perhaps you already know that there isn’t anyone that will give you what I gave you.
We both know this; we love each other and that we would leave whoever we were seeing if we had the chance to experience that bliss of love again. You also know that despite your mind trying to oppress the knowledge of me being your child’s mother – the idea is still there. I’m sure of the future; I’ve always been. I know you from another time; where time didn’t have meaning. Now all of what will happen is in your hands and whatever happens is based on your actions. Be aware of the future because it doesn’t always go your way, many people will fail you and that person you knew would always be there might be gone. My spirit gently caresses you and wishes you the best in life. Whenever you are ready to meet your reality; look for me