EMBEDDED INDIGO

captions included 🙂

in bed, within the inn – i then go,
soft peddles of a perfumed floral ring
‘a rose’ in me : the call of a bee sting.
entwined in clusters of blue and carpenter’s wood
remains flames of extravagance, shouldering between transgression and what’s expected to be good
at the cocktail’s hour, happy itself – extends into the pour of a whisky sour!

within this writing – i’m inciting : levels of tiny pebbles !
stuck inside the shoe, solving this dilemma is merely paying attention to the clue!
the case of this face is myriad but fallen short of obscene …
when the sense became non – i become a breathless yawn.
quivering into the distant soft tissue, as my tears are signatures of issues.

ranging from emotional neglect and tortured trauma!
but confessions of repentance have been absolved through the teachings of the Dalai Lama! (((it should be noted : the dalai lama and 🧿 DO NOT IDEOLOGICALLY ALIGN, as They’ve worked with the 👀ℹ️🅰️, so….👎🏿 ! i only used their mention due to the rhyme provided on the spare dime in time.)))

i’m kept close by the face of an perplexing ace!
while going through this crisis of
energy – is not at all unexpected …

yet: it does appear suspected

as so much can be said…………..
instead
i’ll pause where my whispers swallow
the voice inside, is a guide to which i follow

the fiction of the white
just might: speak way too soon…..
months of turning pages to the crescent & whole moon

still
awaiting colors, glisten serene
and while the contradictions long to be seen….
dialectically & eclectically : to those that suggest otherwise,
by the sight of their reading eyes? lines indeed, align and surprise!

while : in bed, within the inn – i then know, embedded indigo!

I originally conceptualized the title “embedded indigo” after gathering all of my close friends at Benihana’s in Chanhassen Minnesota! I remember I worked at Mall of America at the time, and TrevorGuy called me around the time, I was leaving work. “Prince is having a music video dress rehearsal for Judith Hill with Eric Leeds, tonight at Paisley Park and you’re invited to bring in a couple of folks. Details forthcoming. Are you down?” “Absolutely, I’ll let my folks know!” I was absolutely ecstatic about going to Paisley Park and to add to that : A music video with two of my favorite musical artists!? I told the ‘True Blues’ (y’all know who you are!) AND we were all excited to be there!

For added context: I had only been to Minnesota 3 months at this point and things were already picking up, as only 2 days ago from this point I got 3 messages that a private party : was happening at Paisley Park and me and my friends had been invited to Paisley! If y’all want a run down of what happened you can watch that here! https://youtu.be/zSQWWAwRWgg

BACK TO BENIHANA’S! So we are all there awaiting what’s the scoop! everybody’s asking me, what’s about to happen!? Obviously I would know right? Well no. Prince never gave any information about what was about to happen, he just told you to prepare and that I did. It was at least 21 of us and none of us did not know what would happen. We were all sharing Prince stories and all guessing all what could go down. Clearly, we were all decked in our finest of clothes. I do remember having blue on at the time.

Suddenly : I get a call from TrevorGuy. 

ALL eyes are suddenly on me as my ringer is on and I knew it was the call, we’d all be waiting for. I briskly brushed off into a quiet space, leaving them all in lingering anticipation.

I get back to the phone and hear :

“hey, sorry. Prince is not going to do it tonight. some things came up. sorry, will be in contact soon. peace.”

ALL I felt inside was blue. A deep blue. So deeply on me it felt like a deep url code. not just any kind of blue but a mood indigo like Duke Ellington spoke about. It wasn’t necessarily sadness though, just like someone dipped in a ocean of reflection. How was I going to tell everybody it wasn’t happening!? I remember thinking about dreading the walk of shame back to everyone awaiting what would be the next move.

Soon as i came back to the fold, my head shaking in every direction : everyone knew and we all laughed it off. in fact the rest of the night was spent with many other folks who had been to Paisley throughout the years when this was a common occurrence!

“Oh you mean, driving out in the middle of nowhere before there was ‘modern construction’ because you were told there was a paisley park party at -35 degrees and when he leaves you outside for like 3 hours and then decides at the last minute, nah.” Hahaha

Prince. His way about things were not linear. All throughout the night, I can’t say I was really feeling blue as in sad tho. I was very much energized throughout the laughter that ensued & with good eating though we were not a part of the experience. In many ways this is how I feel about Prince and the anniversaries of his ‘transcendence.’ Which is today. There is no real sadness only memories of joy when listening to the “flames of extravagance” that is Prince. 

In many ways it all feels like a parallel vortex when this time comes around, a familiar whisper in the shadows. Whispering deeply, but a jovial memorial indigo.

SPRUNG UP EMOTIONALLY

041420 SUE
sprung like the fibonacci springs in old beds…

*HERE ARE SEVEN EMOTIONAL RINGS*

when I dream of the yo-yo, I’m 1sprung up emotionally. my middle finger looped in a hole which like a BOOMERANG – is destined to be returned and thrown into gravity. one must hold on”…for the sacred is molded in ritual care and delicate caresses. when your memory savors the undefinable – this taste requires a devouring. a dissecting of each flavor carefully and considerably – taking notes as to what works and what can be taken out.

2sprung up cuz the recall of this truth can’t be denied or traded in for justifiable pretense. the dance has begun and my emotions are the alter in which I falter. i’ve been musically lifted. the sounds of crunchy melodies and syrupy grooves got me out and in the funk. a revival of sounds await for me through the changing beats and 808’s. 

so many emotions. they be swirling, twirling, and orbiting.  my feelings be

*f.s.k.o.w.* feeling some kind of way …. (<— CLICK HERE TO LISTEN)

3sprung up emotionally cuz my feelings are in a wave attempting to reach the shore. what can be done about the reactive state of affairs one is forced to deal with? how do we climb the ladder to safety ensuring the legs do not crumble? shaky foundations certainly make it difficult to stand stable. I suppose my hands are able but the intention is not willing.

4sprung up high up into the mountainous galaxies where the stars laugh at my decisions. looking into them // i see the past. memories which were stained by depraved action. my surroundings perplexed by desert dancers serving me bottled up mirages. i drank of their elixir then, while attempting to make sense out of this perilous advent.

5sprung up cuz i hung up, all my closing demands. i distanced myself like a pariah and the prey – tossing with the wind and never staying. trying to be the pretender and the joker cuz the absurd made life a folly. like a bullet strain locked and loaded, only needing a pull of the trigger. fear like this begins to grow bigger and BIGGER. when life invites you into a fetus like position – so that others can swallow you more safely // that’s when things really start looking shady.

6sprung up cuz i leaped too high. i wanted to meet my ancestors in heaven. some of which decided to come down instead to meet me in the shadows. they never scared me but they never made themselves known to me. even in the still of the night – they never dared to open a jar or fall off the hedges. i think they slept a lot instead of playing poltergeist. i knew they were here with me cuz i sleep and remember too.

7sprung up cuz i’ve been driven mad, glad, sad, and totally RAD. for as much as i wander i squander. time spilled into another day. pages left open but unread. dreams left unspoken but somehow said. this is why I say I’m sprung up! because i’ve been pressed and pushed down into the ground. WHAT has become WHEN. Because WHEN springs forth the map of promise! The restlessness is eventually awakened, as I pick up the pen. *Sew to Bestow* SPRUNG UP EMOTIONALLY ENOUGH TO TRANSMIT ALL SEVEN OF THESE FIBONACCI RINGS. ALL OF WHICH WERE RANDOM PROCESSES BAKING INTO MY MIND. The sound of love and the dream of the yo-yo does not have to return void.

Pain Prolongs, Perhaps?

We need not be reminded of the toe that was cuffed against the bed frame. Perhaps, the most complexing is how pain doesn’t need an invitation to the party.* Pain doesn’t need to be summoned to the dance floor.* it shows up on stage demanding that you deal with the groove. Pain doesn’t go away so easily. It makes you spin and cry but it isn’t finished with you yet. Pain pulsates and creates a space for more pain to come.

Not much you can do but find a remedy. Pain is long-suffering and teeth pain cripples the will to move on. (Sometimes It’s worth it!)

Laughing, eating, and talking is a joke when your throat and mouth are paralyzed. It doesn’t last long but the pain is manipulative.

Ice can’t always take the heat away. Nakedness can’t hide from its claws. Pain shares a resemblance with misunderstanding. Pain reacts in desperate and sometimes dramatic measures of fashion.

It may scream or mislead through a made up scenario that never ever happened. It’s a shame to see someone willingly redesign and reconfigure what is looking at them.

By suspending reality and hiring illusion you ensure that no one wins. The game is not even set by any rules that matter but when you deny what’s in front of you. Got Damn!

It’s upsetting because it makes you a delusional artist. WATCH OUT NOW: you’re adding too much paint and color to the subject and now the sun looks like a bowling ball!

Perspective matters but please talk in the same key. Most of these realizations can change but they tend to remain stagnant. Now you’re loading apples into golden storage bins! You see what I mean?

It doesn’t make sense, so slow down and bring it full circle. By all means look and deal with reality for what it presents itself as. Pain is a part of the process to get to beauty. I may be in my own world but I see what iz looks like.

Cuz, iz doesn’t mean pain will prolong.

Mediate To Levitate!

Sex Shuffle

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Shuffling between the cards laid about between my deck, many strangers of games – gaze in my incentive.
 
Aliens are these strangers with a unique knowledge that seems familiar.
 
They speak of this muse and how long she sought to travel down the line and within a consciousness of root.
 
She begged me to go deeper.
 
She closed my eyes with the whispers of her satisfaction
 
Then I woke up in the dream of her own existence.
 
Who was I really looking at anyway?
 
My vibrations begin to deceive the bed where I lied.
 
The question is: Do You Lie?
 
If you’re talking about if I sleep or not, yes I do.
 
I lie.
 
But it is not a lie of deception.
 
The more I try to explain, I then, I lose half of the reasons she came to me.
 
It happens so fast, I squeezed her frame and she reminded me she was only that a frame.
 
Many selections are now in play and they gather with a sequence of sex.
 
Sex which shuffles the cards of game or reality?