P A R A D I S E? CLARITY ! (FORMULATED EXPLANATION)

CARE NOT TO ONLY READ BUT DIVE FURTHER FOR EXPLANATION? WATCH THIS INSTEAD :

20 minutes and 44 seconds, you ain’t gotta watch me. just play! ❤

what is ‘paradise’ if not for the s3arch for transparent understanding!

i’ve randomly been writing poems and symbolic gestures starting back to 2013 – in this collection of writings you’ll be able to s3arch through the many ramblings of my mind! i’ve spoken about everything from : SPIRITUALITY , food, and dREaMs & ThEir WaKiNG LiFe CoNtRaDiCtIoNs!

reading my own words have been a revelatory insight into the reason i began to seek higher understanding. it all began in early 2013 after leaving a relationship that had significantly transformed my ‘Process’ of what understanding looks like.

many o’ times, i thought i KNEW FOR SURE what i was going through. only to soon realize, my eyes missed the lies passed right in front of me. it took being told the same thing by close friends, family, and strangers for me to somehow think i was getting through…

UNTIL : I WAS LOOPED BACK INTO BACK INTO A THE WIRE! a GPS programmed to a circular circumference! here i was // saying – i got it, this time! i didn’t have the proper correlation or the education which comes with learning about love but also LIVING with someone whose narcissism is cloaked onto them, similarly to how a robe can cover a pulsating throb.

i didn’t see what was ahead of me because i didn’t realize : RaNdOmLy…the same begins with a name not belonging to a disposition of shame. IT TOOK 8 YEARS * & some change* for me to GET THROUGH!

i was searching for ‘X’ – the unknown but yet known ; cycles of stained decoration, left me in constant hesitation. refusing to move on, assuming i’d become the same pawn – set adjacent to the queen who would guess that ‘chess’ was better played if it ALL was made into a beautiful & toxic Mess!

PARADISE CLARITY has shown me out of the deepest enclaves – i can reach to understanding through the work without feeling the need to justify every correlation that led me to ‘Y’ = ‘X’ has occupied so much of my figuring out. throughout all the years and tears wherein i feared – ever knowing the peace of being alone. believing that ‘home’ – could be understood distant and way out overseas. now i see it all began with me…

^^^

except it’s not just ‘U’ but the ancestors who have always paved the path! one can easily do the math : they told you that it was a hard to do! that numbers and shapes couldn’t be understood by you! but that’s a damn lie – one can try. to reach a higher place ! where grace is already marinating in space!

THE S3arch is how one may get through! (uniformly or RaNdOmLy)

FINALLY releasing this has also allowed me to MOVE ON AND AWAY – from the pains and gains which left me bound to reason (& seasonal treason) against the truth that deeply remains.

herein my celebration, salvation is retained !

✨🌬🪜🔑🪟🪞🖤🪃🧩🚀⏳⌛️💡🧨🧹🧶🪡🧵

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN PURCHASING :

✨ Currently ONLY Paperback, The Hard Copy Was a Gift to Myself ✨

Paradise Clarity

PARADISE CLARITY is the conceptual statement in which poetry and symbolic gestures comes through : to the reader by random and uniform means. It has been divided into 7 Volumes (Years) Starting from ‘Z’ (2020) To A (2013). THIS IS A 460 PAGE JOURNEY! Most of these writings were available online via blog posts, videos, and other forms of multi-media but never given the full moment to be absorbed as a whole. Whether you choose to RaNdOmLy or uniformly flip through the pages : the search to get to transparent destination is open to whichever destination you find most useful! *PRICE INCLUDES WORLDWIDE SHIPPING. PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR SHIPPING ADDRESS OF WHERE YOU WOULD WANT THE BOOK SENT* if you have any questions or concerns : please send an email to paradiseclarity@gmail.com Blessings!

$40.00

cashapp & venmo: $gesturegreen

i would like to thank 3v3rybody who has taken the time to read and invest all of the words i’ve spoken within 7 volumes of time. so much has already been said, factors and predictions already laid…all of y’all, everywhere n everything : BL3ssings!!! ✨✨✨

c3L3bRaT3, DiSrAt3!!!

i’m distracted by an invisible, obscene light! it’s beams have blinded my flight, my knees encapsulated very tight, as to not refuse this surrender in near sight. historically, the scenes have been rewritten by bourgeois state, propaganda page – it is of this unprecedented age – wherein our search for truth, has lost its REASON. yet, others mention : ‘tis the SEASON!

&…as much as i can appreciate ‘ALL OF THE LIGHTS’ which come with this very spirit and time, unfortunately the cookies and sweetness do not adequately rhyme. my c3l3bration is displaced _ for the pages have been spoiled through revisionist stains, an aroma so abhorrent it confuses your BRAIN!

they got you SOLD, through mere packaging and characters TOLD. Santa or Jesus come quickly, for the time is nigh! what stands to reckon with the shoulder and thigh? most of everybody seems to reside on the ‘merry fairy’ – hands full, chugging with a chug of hot cocoa and cider! they got their stockings full with Rudolph on call, if ever they’re in need of a rider. meats, staggering eyes, and holiday cheer! for ‘Christmas and ‘Knew’ is often wrapped as ‘The Most Holy Time of the Year’.

but i’m feeling distant and enclosed, like an envelope that never reached across the shore. up and around with star clouds circling rain, crowning promises with heights capable of steady gain. stretched from bone to rock – appealing for breathable fiction to arise and flock. gathering clusters of ancient and mystical craze // finding delight in sensory history – wedged between mushroom and daisy blistery. according to a will that’s real and not faint. one couldn’t paint this taint through lecture of structure but by a compelling deal. which is what’s real. real as in real ISOLATION _ dislocated memories rewritten by highjacked and embezzled CONSTELLATIONS.

it’s been in the works for a long time! forgotten is the said formulation of demonstrable protest and awakening. narratives are then created to depict a revisionist herstory. changing the form from body to glory : extinguishing the spirit and orchestrating the story, thus leaving the remnants of this TALE – engaged in dichotomy, fought tooth and nail. with the essences of all that is taught and unlearned : i request of the guest of my soul – a quest that may reimburse the TOLL. for my mercies have been SPENT, bruised and hidden from the ears in where my whispers could VENT.

for : the veil has been torn but also worn. through the mention of its appearance, you’re soon subject to its absurd adherence. we wear *with despair’ all of which, spontaneously comes our way. it is with this notion, that we fluctuate and dismay. but are we tempted to disguise – what may be left to surrender or arise? from out of the dark, hallow, and encrusted flame, our integrity is sentenced to return to a place where there’s no name. it rhymes with real but it’s not a shady deal. tho, invisibly embodied as spirit and intention, there is no mention – of the friction and tension – of the thin sheet which misplaces ones attention.

N2021 – for 3 months, I shall rewind from Z 2 A and i must say: what was already said, remained laid – bare and uncovered on my bed. words which were misplaced and spoken and saved as a lifeline, have now been forged by the consequential flame of a spoiled vine – one that can be followed through***- one that can be played AHEAD. if you follow along, the buttons will connect with embroidery THREAD. so follow along with me from Z 2 A – many more animations and symbols to display!

** RUISOPC 3 MONTHS (3,7,10,14,17,21,28) // sunday’s, wednesday’s,saturday’s // instagram live, twitter, twitch, youtube, str3aming s3rvic3s, 3tc…*
UP UNTIL ‘URISOPC’ is released!

KNOWLEDGE BY FLOATING // MARSHMALLOW OF CONFUSION

for all that can be known – floating seems to be the only option when you’re in the sea of interrogatives. you’ll never land because there is no seat in the game of life. ain’t no couch or love seat. there is only ascension to go higher. when you start to read about the rules of the game, if you’re taking the game serious, you’ll be motivated to change your tactics and plan.

knowledge is a tool and one that is given to us freely if we open our hands. the state of knowing is a process, but it is what you do with the knowledge which transforms your state of being. the key to swimming is floating but to do this you must be comfortable with the water. i was afraid of water since childhood, because i had a few occasions where i nearly drowned. i would float on poor floatation devices and always landed in the water struggling for air.

it was Bruce Lee who said: “Be like water, my friend.”

water flows and water goes // where? who knows!

the idea of being settled in certainty can be very demanding. as water keeps going and flowing – an eternal destination can seem confining. it’s commonly accepted that knowledge is power, and power should be fun! superheroes are fascinating and appealing because of the special ability they have which transcends the barriers we are commonly subjected to. superheroes can fly. blast into a sudden telekinesis. become invisible for a spell.

this is power. power endowed to them with the strength to defeat whatever may come their way. yet, something this powerful can’t be taken too seriously. it must also be fun. although, when having too much fun, people tend to think you can’t possibly be serious as well. why is this? why can’t we have fun and maintain knowledge at the same time? when i found this new wave of knowledge of floating people started to think i lacked morals and principles. i’d constantly be told that people were praying for me because i lost my way.

every school of thought has their own perimeters with their specific laws, uniforms, and ethics. even those who profess ‘free thought’ still seem to have a rubric about how free your thinking can go. as free as i believed myself to be – i still restrained myself and put on a different uniform of thought. how different can we be when we still borrow the same tools our ancestors have passed down to us? a change of course can appear as life changing if you never gave it much thought previously.

Yet, the knowledge of something new doesn’t always guarantee that you’ll stay above the water. While we get out of one box, we place ourselves in another. i have now come to accept that it’s not that we don’t like boxes, we just prefer the boxes WE put ourselves in. If we’re comfortable and content that’s all that matters.

at least, up until the point when we thirst for something new and driven to irritability because it’s tew much!when you come to some uncongenial truths, everything slowly starts to change. This can be an uncomfortable truth. probably a bit more uncomfortable than the results that proved to be of the nature that you preferred.

to be misunderstood or even challenged doesn’t have to mean our demise. if we are all encrypted with a special combination of sorts – whose job is it to understand the key? how can a computer know which mode to follow if it did not make the individual choice to respond to the code already established? When you discover life is more nuanced and complex than you believed – you think of all the people you judged and made responsible through your ignorance and misinformation.

maybe they’re floating on a marshmallow cloud? when one can see what they once were – judgement tames like a saucer in the waters. floating because you’ve been filled WIDTH measures beyond what they can see!

while growing up, my grandmother always had a bag of marshmallows around the house. (just because she knew how much i loved them) i could eat a whole bag in a one setting. she taught me how to make rice crispy treats with them. i never quite gave up my fascination for the comfort of a marshmallow! i loved how soft and buoyant they were! they were comfortable and tasty. it’s the one of the only things we can eat that resembles a cloud. much like how marshmallows are capable of resonating with our humor. i crack myself up! nobody gets it but me usually. some say it’s my wit others just think i’m confused. when drawn to the absurd of reason – i find a mellow seat. confused only as it relates to knowledge and where i could potentially go…

here we are: resting on a marshmallow puff of confusion. a pretzel cloud resembling animalized reality and dystopian illusion…

At the heart of confusion tends to be a yearning for the heart to understand what created it in the first place. When you know, you take that knowledge and ultimately create a path towards understanding and then applying that said knowledge. But we already knew that as I’ve already repeated various things by only changing the dress. The tailor remains the same, but different kinds of fabrics, colors, accessories and details add a whole new approach. If already at this point it appears to have gotten redundant because of the same things being said differently – don’t wallow in your confusion. Eat a marshmallow by the fire and get comfortable. If there’s no fire, get comfortable wherever you see fit and allow this comfort to hit the acceptable target of your desires.

B0unce 0n 10

Picture it: An elastic trampoline stretched on a very wide surface. You were just dropped down from a high story – you fall down. By the time you reach the bottom – you’ll be jolted at such rapid speed, you’re sure to fall down and repeat the same process but only going higher and HIGHER!

It’s like that for me right now. I’m on the wheels of something that is moving with such high speeds of velocity. “For it was written / It’s been said / I prepared for this”

Now what?

Freak out!

*Brace for impact”

Seth Goldin said something really cool about the Bracing of Impact.

“When you walk around braced for impact, you’re dramatically decreasing your chances. Your chances to avoid the outcome you fear, your chances to make a difference, and your chances to breathe and connect.“

HERE IS A REMINDER:

There ain’t nothing to fear. Sometimes you gotta bounce on 10. Shuffle a bit to the left and cuff your chin. When things are looking bright – surely everything feels all right. To look out is to see what isn’t there but will begin to be.

The cat is out of the bag and now we can turn the corner at the shadows. What’s there? A helpless leap that may encounter darkness or fantastical groove? You never know what may lead you into your next expedition. To steady wish for the page to turn only complicates initiative.

Outdated doesn’t mean it can’t be upgraded. You just need to refresh the page sometimes *or delete everything*. It’s a cause for celebration to experience upgrade that doesn’t cost anything.

None of us are too far away from the charm of the bounce.

When you’re bouncing, you’re in a multi-functional groove – yet you’re still capable of being charmed through the revelatory smiles found on strangers. A moment of engagement is dancing on freedom hills! I got the picture now of it is not of modern design. It has an abstract but geometric lens.

Don’t mind my explanations, I’m just carried away by the groove of the bounce. 😀

Levitating of LOVE

She started polishing my shoe but then told me that we weren’t going anywhere…YET

By the time she was finished – I had a pulsating shine.

I was ready to walk down the halls with my boot, you see?

I was ready to read.

The book was very exciting and I could tell line by line – how enthralled I was beginning to feel.

I started with the preface. It was a proper introduction as it briefed me on what I was about to witness.

I became even more earnest when realizing how inviting the chapters were.

I then began to turn the pages.

The crisp sound made me even more anxious to reach the climax.

I’m sure I won’t be putting this book down anytime soon.

We both started to levitate and by the end of the book – the closing chapter read as follows:

In love, we can levitate
Not just by the ascension of the sky
But also falling down with hope
That we may land on the grass but if not
Our splattering bodies can transform what is yet to be known
Our tissues, blood, nerves, and bones are evidence of
What we can’t see is that which keeps us alive
ACTUALLY –
Maybe it’s better – if we lay together without falling
For a rest, we will remember when our dreams invite us to sleep
Just thinking of the destinations we can explore and how much fun we’ll have
Yet – Those places don’t compare to the journey found with you
Holding your hand is magic plush
I can think of nothing better than to be with you
Half of what I am must be spent with you
The other half of me is mining how I should repay you for blessing me
I’m never breathing this moment because I have so much more to give
It’s true – a token like this is rare and newly found
I’m giving it to you and in return, we can be as wealthy as ascending atoms

DEDICATED: To all of the book(s), I’ve had the pleasure to read. Thank you for allowing me to levitate in love. ❤

Curious Causation

It takes screws, nails. hinges, tape, glue, etc. We can get there using one method but if we are looking for an effective build – wouldn’t Structure be plural?

It’s either Jesus or what? Eternal damnation? A life without joy? Must the answer include Jesus? Imagination has the power to whip us into exclusive multiple choice.

Jesus is often seen as an example. If you ain’t doing what Jesus did or living out of what Jesus has done. There seems to be a condemnation set for you. Until you live – YOUR LIFE. This life is yours and the moment is yours to live!

All of us SHOULD take care of each other. At various times, we get it confused and feel it’s just about where we are going. It doesn’t hurt to forget – we are all in this together. Whether we like this or not – how we respond to service to one another is what makes the difference.

This is something we have heard all of our lives. Humans assign meaning where they choose to. I suppose, if one is to stare at their life and why they’re here – they’d have questions and connect answers to what’s been revealed so far. If they choose to value their lives to a destiny, that’s their prerogative.

Belief is how philosophers and psychiatrists spend a lot of their time. Without belief, a lot of people would be out of a job and determination.

If you’re anything like me. You’re curious. Curious as to why things are and what motivates us to arrive at the various conclusions. What caused this? I don’t think we’ll ever fully arrive at all of the questions we have. That’s OK because life is a trip! I ain’t gonna be tripping on how you experience the fullness of your trip! These series of questions mainly dealt with ‘Belief’ and how are our hearts are conditioned to see. I want to mainly remind people – It ain’t about what you don’t believe in.

A lot of us have the answers already. How do you treat people? How are you being there for people? When will people start seeing that empathy is a two-way street? Some of my questions may offend or merely ignite your curiosity. In the process of writing this book – more questions have come to surface. It’s safe to say – the book is writing itself. It won’t entirely center around ‘FAITH, GOD, HEAVEN, HELL, EMPATHY’ or any other serious concepts. There’s gonna be a lot of fiction and dreamlike conclusions. Through it all, I’ve come to realize – Humans and Nature are the creators to most of what we see.

Who’s to blame? HUMANS. People make art and people invent exactly what they want them to see. Distortion of the facts is just as real as the clear reason some put up walls.I believe in people – people are capable of treating each other with respect. THIS ISN’T ALWAYS EASY BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN BE THE TRUEST ASSHOLES IN ALL OF LIVING EXISTENCE. (More on that later) I am constantly understanding the role of religion, philosophy, politics, etc in human consciousness. In terms of how we got here – there’s a different answer for each branch of knowledge. It’s not always about being right or wrong. You don’t have to hang it on your wall or frame it – but explore it. Sit with it. Let life consistently be a compass. We got a long way to go and so much more to learn. This is a cause for celebration!

“

“There’s A Freedom That’s Arriving

You Can Feel It In Your Soul

Liberation Will Salute You

Release What No Longer Suits You!” – NEW WORLD FORMING /SANANDA

Interrogate The ‘Why’

“I can’t speak for anyone else, but I either know or I don’t know.”
“It is only by grace through faith that we are saved. It is sort of like saying can you be saved if someone is reaching down the grab you from a sinking ship, but you smack the hand, then no you can’t be saved cause you are rejecting what can save you.”
You can have faith and be lost too. In our mindset, we know where we gonna go but in reality, things will throw us off and we can get lost for a little IF we pay attention to that escape that is prepared for us to exit to that right path. So either way, both sides can get lost with or without faith. We just need to wake up and pay attention.”
“Only in case one is religious.”
“If you’re sincere.”
“Belief = Faith Faith=Belief.“
“You can have all the faith in the world and still the one doing the saving can still choose to say no.”
“I Like To Believe That All Roads Lead Home.”
“If you ask from religious folks their answer is yes.”
“All forks in the roads lead to a destination.”
“Lost or found – faith has little to nothing to do with it.”
“Sometimes being lost is better than being found rather than being taken back to a house that isn’t a home.”
“Yes, because if you don’t keep the faith – you are already lost, but what’s wrong with being lost?”
“Faith is neither here or there – it’s a word to describe hope which we all have to some extent. Not having this, doesn’t make you anymore at ‘home’ than you being lost until you get to your destination.”
“Faith is a worthy substitute. Our “gut feeling” comes from nowhere else but the highest. Some people call it common sense. Some people call it instinct. If people ask for evidence of proof, I believe that your mind and feelings are sufficient enough.”
“Faith is born of evidence given in mysterious forms.”
With me, I can see the evidence unfolding but it’s not ready to give birth yet. But my faith is like it has to be there, it just has to be there, oh it’s going to be there, heck yeah it’s there!!! BAM there it is after the fact. It scares me and then I’m reminded of Him that I asked and my faith was just strong to break those walls down!
Do I believe in God? Heaven and Hell? Evidence and proof of a feeling, proof of our own human minds. What is right and wrong? Judgements! Create feelings! Hate is a choice. We must unlearn! I will say this for the record. I have been told I am going to Hell because of my demonic queer, lifestyle. So ungodly! This is what I tell the people who tell me this.. To be honest, I would be happy and grateful to go to Hell. Finally surrounded by my LGBTQ family, it would be one big happy LGBTQ dance party. I would be much safer in hell, then I am, here, on earth. The reality I live, is that people want me dead, because of religion, and religious beliefs, is that being Christian? I thought that was 1 of the ten commandments,”thou shall not kill?” Oh but you’re not actually taking a gun and pulling the trigger, but you are! You are separating yourself individually and now as a collective whole with judgments, right and wrong, those bullets are silent and yet very deadly… and Yes there are real bullets too. People actually die in the LGBTQ community. Someone in my LGBT family was murdered, found dead, two weeks ago, this exists people. Check your faith people – what you believe.
If it’s a belief, it’s not evident.
I think the very definition of faith is to believe without evidence. If someone tells me that there’s money growing on the tree in their yard, I’m going to want evidence before I turn up with my basket and start picking! But faith is almost a form of esoteric evidence, where you know something is true, even though you don’t have the evidence required to prove it to someone else. Luckily, we don’t have to, which is why faith is usually either a very personal, or else community-focused thing.
I’m genuinely puzzled by religions that try to convert people because they literally have no evidence to show, so they are trying to somehow generate faith in another’s heart, and that’s like trying to make a rainbow. You can’t make a rainbow, only God (or the Universe/alternative higher power/science) can do that, and it typically needs a particular set of circumstances in the lead up to it.
In general (although there are exceptions), the bigger the storm, the brighter the rainbow. Similarly, the bigger the crisis, the brighter faith shines in someone’s heart when it finally arrives (and it probably doesn’t ring the doorbell!)
Not having evidence and believing is Faith.
Thank you to everyone who participated so far! You may or may not find your answer here but this series will continue on until July. My goal in providing these answers are not to dissect the categories of where these answers stem from. Philosophy and opinions share the same veins and the goal here is to expose the blood that gets us going. Although, we are not always going. Standing still in the middle of our quest – while we interrogate the ‘WHY’. What leads us to these various paths? The more we ask – we get a little bit closer.

Obsession With Filling (Feeling) The Page

I gotta feel what I’m writing. In search of this ‘feeling’, I’ve had to wrestle with just how much I’m writing on a page. If I write too little will people think I had little to say? If I write too much – got damn, I’m on my Jester Rants! (Btw, my YouTube channel will resurrect with more content this year!)

I want to win but I know losing is literally trying to find out what people like/want. Trying to fit in what people expect is much like the weather. It changes from day to day, although it’s much easier to know your target market through proper analytics! I must heed this while breaking into new areas.

The motivation, inspiration, and persuasion have always been a wavy sense of connection. I’m an explorer and the more I Search – I see an undeniable encoding in various life experiences.

The more I dig, the greater this connection speaks to me. As I’m writing this – I’m already seeing several ways this blog is gonna go. How do I maintain my focus without losing the ‘feeling’?

You feel me?

It’s important to chase the feeling and follow it wherever it leads you. As of now – my thoughts are leading me to fill the space. We don’t have to keep writing but the more I do – the closer I am to getting to my point.

The lines are drawn and the door is open. The more I write what I feel, the clearer I see how everything is connected. After all, buttons Connect and that’s why we button up our shirts. The symbols I see in everyday interaction come to life through my words. My words will become a platform for discovering the hidden and visible.

I find that at times, I’m caught in between the insufferable *but pleasurable* thigh of allegory and innuendo. I enjoy the warm embrace of making sense out of philosophical possibilities. This can be a task too daunting for my readers. It makes you read a lens not so commonly visited. You stand to benefit with this-this is a remix. Something that’s already been said but my way.

2018 is here and already 14 Days Into it, I’ve had to put in the work before it arrived. I use to say “I always am writing” but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I can’t always write otherwise – I wouldn’t have time to process, read, or observe. What is true though – is I can encourage myself to write with knowledge of a paycheck or simple creative fun. Getting into the habit of writing helps me contextualize those random words that always seem to float somewhere.

This year – I am taking more seriously the notion that I’m writing a book. I’m gonna need your help. It won’t write itself but the basis of it is already laid out.

I’m excited to share with you what more my pen will reveal. After all – It’s all about writing until the pens run out! Only this time – I ain’t doing it just to fill the page as long as I’m feeling it, the hope is that you will too!

Bless up!

The Opening Quest

In preparation for further development of my book, I decided to answer several questions from one of my favorite authors Dushka Zapata.

These questions set the tone for 2018 while also inspiring me to invite you to send me questions that you have thought about existence. The goal isn’t to overthink but to answer with what you feel in the heart of the moment.

Here are my favorite 14 questions.

1. “If life had no meaning, what meaning would I create for mine?”

I’d create a meaning that would mean something to me tomorrow. A meaning that has enough nutrition to last for me and those who came after me. If no others came after me then the meaning would have to be enough to satisfy me even when I’m bored. Something to make me laugh and cry because it’s all so beautifully complex.

2. “If there was no purpose to our existence, what purpose would I give to mine to shield myself from existential despair?”

I would make it a mission to make someone think about their life and what they can do with it. I would want them to laugh at how ironic this whole game of life is. I would want to show myself and people around me how life is so short and how we should chase what gives us that rush.

3. “What matters to me? Why? And once I figure this out, can I determine an order of importance?”

Freedom matters most to me. To be at full liberty without the worry that I must stop at the disadvantage of someone’s inability to respect my equilibrium. If I could get out of someone’s way to their freedom. Establishing importance would mean to know it’s not just about me.

4. “Is there a healthy, logical correlation between my priorities and how I spend my time? If not, why?”

I give myself too much time for tasks I feel can wait. I must embed a pattern of usual, so I don’t buy into the distractions because god knows I have binged on many distractions. I think I have bought so much time because I see time as an illusion and I feel I always have time, but I’ve come to realize I don’t always have time. It’s always leaving me when I gain it.

5. “What am I afraid of? Can I learn to distinguish the fear that protects me from the fear that stops me?”

“They say everybody is afraid of something although I don’t know what actually makes me afraid now. I am drawn to the unknown and I believe fear makes us strong at times. I suppose my fear is to be consistent in the most western way of doing it. (I must always pay my bills and have enough left over) Constantly making enough that is sufficient and inspiring enough to last. The best way for me to distinguish it is to fail occasionally and not feel guilty about it.”

6.”What happens when I get what I want? Is it glorious, empty, triumphant, anticlimactic? Why?”

I usually feel content with it. Sometimes when I want something so very badly and get it – I don’t feel like it was worth the wanting. I would like to capture the gloriousness more because there’s substance in playing in that feeling. I think it becomes anticlimactic because I knew I could get it – I just didn’t think I would survive the trip to get there.

7. “What does happiness mean to me? What makes me happy and how can I capture that elusive sensation more often?”

Happiness means more laughter and learning found in simple and complex things. I think if I read more, the joy of happiness will show up more.

8. “What hurts me? How can I become stronger against what causes me to suffer? How and where can I learn to suffer less? How can I remind myself that the person who makes me suffer the most is me?”

I hurt myself when I don’t own up to my decisions and how they influence others. I should remember that I am in the driver’s seat and that my reactions can be calmer. To be mindful of silence and that words don’t always have to be spoken.

9. “What is left of me if I attempt to define myself without leaning on anything I do? I am a student, I am a writer, I am a mom, I am a manager, I am a Vice President – these are all things I do. Who am I? Where is she?”

This is a very complex one. I am here and while I am here, I want to make as much hell and fun on this trip. I observe, sleep, learn and then convert this knowledge into love for everyone around me.

10. “How can I avoid losing myself in my relationships? What are my boundaries and how do I enforce them?”

One way is to have a clear understanding that we do not belong to each other but that we are only appreciating and honoring each other’s company. That we live with the knowledge that we can together but sometimes we may steer to our own strengths by ourselves. I can enforce my boundaries by staying true to myself without shame or pressure.

11. “What do my feelings teach me about myself? If I feel anger or jealousy, can I learn not to react to these feelings but instead determine what they are trying to tell me?”

They are trying to tell me to maybe rearrange what I do not understand. To Ask more questions and to speak softly and to apologize when I’ve assumed too much. I can learn by simply remembering people are often in the same state as me. They just want clarity.

12. “What happens when I sit in silence?”

I find that the stillness in myself is still yearning to speak to myself in riddles of nothing but me, myself, and I.

13. “How can I better manage change? How can I get better at accepting how little control I have?”

Knowing that I did not choose to be born here at the time I was. Some parts are played long before I got here.

14. “How would I like to be remembered?”

“Remembered for good company with a fresh willingness to open a door that people didn’t really think about turning, making them laugh while thinking.”

If you got through all of my answers to these magnificent questions, I applaud your interest endearingly! I encourage you to answer some of these questions as well! I wanted to start 2018 with these questions because they would open up my understanding of myself and where I want to go.

I am making it a mission to write way more while reading, listening, and observing.

We can do this thing together – narrating and asking. This will help us climb the ladder for clarity among all living things!

((*Every 7th of the month from now until March – I’ll post 3 of my favorite questions (& 7 replies) that I find correlates with the book I’m working on! If you have any questions that you have asked at any time // feel free to email me at jesterj7@hotmail.com

Randomized 8.

A new series of ‘Jester Eye X’ is in works. Where ‘Jester Eye X’ will also come with a reflection, only that the reflection will be random.

#1 Uniformed (The Front)

#2 Randomized (The Back)

Some changes will feature in new the randomized edition. Variations of numbers, colors, and additions and divisions. If you look hard enough 7 will always be there.

Example: *Front & Back*

The question still stands for people. What does it symbolize?

‘JesterEyeX‘ // A symbol representing
the various directions of conversation. (My feet are arrows – going any and everywhere) The triangle is the home or heart of identity. It often abides by a ‘7’ or my nickname (Jester). The eye represents the Sun ☀️ – a sustainable energy source to give insight to what it sees. My hands are wheels or spirals, connecting to what is harnessed at my disposal. The eyebrows are relevant because they symbolize the deeper lines above the eye. The lines are the journey before the destination is reached.

In the future, various new characterizations will live in the triangle. You too will be able to improvise in your own design. *sometimes these designs will be randomized* // Coming Soon – Button Therapy Clothing.!

When I say coming soon, I mean in the future expect it. No official time stamp on the date as of yet.

*8 represents the infinite and recurring – if you turn it around sideways a bit, you’ll see ∞.

Symbolism will remain the platform where my words can be understood. At times I feel I’ve talked too much, revealed too much. I begin to feel randomized, all over the place.

Ever since I was little I would hear: “It’s not that deep” because I’d break down something into its smallest pieces, or “You are a deep thinker”. Which then makes me want to simplify what I’m saying. The point is driven home when the lines are clear.

I believe it’s possible to accept the random and the uninformed. Not everything requires an explanation. It is what it is. Which means: WHATEVER IT IS – THAT’S THE WAY IT IS.

You are more than welcome to decide why it is. The how behind the mechanism. You can change the way you look at it. It’s fun for me to take out the anatomy and find the flow of access.

I prefer clues, poetry, a sequence of riddles. I hide behind the mystery. The wand of symbolism. There’s magic in the delivery of innuendo.

I also tend to reinforce what came before it. Talking too much, adding clarity to an already understood text. It’s been said. Now you get it. If you don’t get it, I’ll put it this way…

I’m unlocking the system and getting into the matrix. Abiding by the law of the mystery and gazing into the rabbit hole. Making means from the Internet and traveling into the deep. Pages unheard of from the naked eye. Seeking to follow the prism of the ancient mind. I’ll keep the chain going to infinite parallels. Meet me in between the lines. Accuse me of only finding peace. Without poison and without the gun. This drug is taken by the obedience of the familiar. Shortening my words until I can find the conceptual master.

Do you get it?<<
h.

:D<<
p>

HIGHLIGHTERS

I’ve been writing every day as a method to clear a path of healing for me. Writing has always been the most fluent way possible for me to reach a place of clarity in my life. When things get reckless, I write. When I triumph- I write. Even if I’m not sharing everything, keeping a journal and record of what happens is a great reminder to reflect on what life offers. What ends up happening, however, is a formula becomes adopted to achieve proper schedules of releasing what I’m writing. This eventually becomes mundane and then recycled algorithms become the nature of writing. At least for me, this has been the case lately.

When should I release it? Will this gain interest? Am I writing to solely gain interest? As a writer, I’m constantly plotting what stories to release which would engage the reader. I’m also hanging on the whims of innuendo and the symbolism. I enjoy the playground that comes with words and poetry. Escaping with words to find a deeper reality. Not talking so much is actually a window for exploration of possibility.

The word abbreviation is a long ass word. The definition is clear – to shorten. Limiting the space in the room. It’s a journey to write the lines behind and ahead of me. My life is about highlighting the pockets in between my dream and waking life reality. The course of social media is full of highlighters.
This is the age where everything, all at once is being shared. (Even that one status that released way too much personal info😳) This, That, and the *Third* is all over the Internet. These feeds are directly constructed to your own liking. What we want to see are largely based on what we choose. We are selective at best. We choose to ignore or focus on whatever interests us.

What’s feeding you is what others are being fed? “You are what you eat” or I suppose you are eating what’s been eaten by others. It can completely depend on context obviously but we are reminded of the other happenings in the world based on what other people share. Everyone is sharing and some really care, some don’t.

The illumination of poetry helps me escape when the cry for redundancy takes over. I have to give time for digestion – I’m sensitive to energy AF. To Emotion. To the thing that makes us react and think. Body Language is telling. (It surreal at times because my subconscious is paying attention deeply) The fire is hot and the truth is to uncover those things that we might want to run away from.

When one adopts the fullness of fire – one is not afraid to be made aware. Truth comes to open you up to your vulnerable misunderstanding.

There is always more to the story than what you’ve heard or processed. Tasting the light means being filled with illumination. Words can be spoken to shift the paradigm of where the sound is soon to go next. In the essence of color and vision is the statement of light. The words will come as long as you stay faithful to the life that you are living. Beautiful days are one with the days that bring sorrow – how well do you pay attention to the cross streets of thunder and sound?
Pages are highlighted by significant details of recognition. I’m taking notes of what is noticeably there. Note for note. Line by line. I’m reading the passages before me as constructed by the passing of time. I’ve found it more efficient to write under the spell of passion. I’m reading the book of life by virtue of experience, constantly highlighting the moments to seize as information. Time must be recycled again and back to the fire I begin. It pleases me only to taste of what can become of myself. To venture far away in my head – dreams that build a kingdom out of reality. I want to be real at this moment before I wake up. To discard the mask and swallow the pills of my dreams. The side effect is my waking life. Worming through until I can properly manifest a life I’ve always dreamt.

The Tao of Pimpin’ By Blue!

Well, damn!

That’s been my reaction after reading the wealth of knowledge engrained in the book ‘The Tao of Pimpin’

It’s interesting how, I met Blue (The Author and pimp herself) It was through a post shared by a mutual friend of ours, Jamilah. I noticed her posts, and she always seemed to make me laugh and think. However, it was her social conscious delivery that made me realize too. She had songs like ‘Don’t Get Your Ass Beat By The Police’ which still, remains one of my favorite jams even now. From then on, we kept in conversation through Facebook and her website.

When I realized she was writing this book, I did not think twice about putting my order in! A couple of days later, I picked it up and I was simply overwhelmed by the knowledge in this book. It’s not the most important if you read it from Z to A or some letter in between — the point is the same. ‘It’s Pimping Baby’

If you’re looking to determine some secret formula to pimping, you’ve already forgotten the Dynamic process.

Throughout the book, you are minded of this process.

Pimps, Ho’s, Hustlers, Scallywags, Outlaws, and pigs are apart of this process.

You must be wise and discover, Real Pimping’ is when you overstand. Real talk.

Real Pimping.

Through the passages of this book, I’ve been aware of the system of pimping in my own walk. She brought out a wealth of points which are revealed through your everyday living.

I recommend this book, to the youth! Everybody needs a closer examination of a system that has been in existence since the genesis.

Pimpin’ has been around longer than you imagine. Look beyond the cane, rag, and cup. Your inner pimp is reminded through the code of this book, how to thrive in the midst of everyone else.

She sheds light on how to respond to everyone. The wit in this book is unbearable. It makes you literally THINK, but it is given in such a way a child can understand.

Literally imperative, by the notion that it keeps you awaken to your inner pimp. Everyone has this pimp, dying to be fed. Here is the letter, and spirit, in which she delivers these formations. Her knowledge is understood, with no contradiction, but with the marriage of essence.

IN light of my appreciation of this book, here are 7 of my favorite quotes which have helped my next steps.

“Real Pimpin’ is like water. Water don’t fight. Water don’t flee. Water don’t compete with the powers that be. Water don’t need no music. Water don’t need no pro’s. Water flows where no one goes. Water is subject to the way. The How. Water stays at peace with the Tao.”

“Hos never ho by force. Hos ho by choice. When a ho chooses a pimp, a ho made a ho decision. If a pimp uses force to get a ho, then the pimp doesn’t have a ho. The pimp has a slave and slavery is a violation of the 13th amendment of the United States Constitution and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights declared by The General Assembly of The United Nations.”

“Stay cool. Let all things take their course. If a pimp isn’t holding on, a pimp has no attachments and therefore, has nothing to lose. So why force things? Why resist?”

“Fear is the greatest illusion know to human beings. When people get scared, they start preparing to defend themselves; searching for a fight. There’s no greater violation of our oneness than the preparation to fight one another”

“A wise pimp won’t brag or boast, yet still receives due credit. she doesn’t celebrate her work, so she has no need to self edit.”

“Real Pimpin’ has no agenda. She thinks with the people, loving the lover and the haters. She’s kind to the good, and she’s kind to the bad. she trusts, everyone, whether they deserve it or not.”

WONDERING WHAT THE TAO IS?

“The Tao has no definition. You can define other things in terms of the Tao but you cannot define the Tao in terms of anything else. To define The Tao, you would have to define it in terms of itself. That’s like defining “Consciousness” using “Consciousness” in that definition, At best, you just said what you said, but you ain’t said shit for real.”

So, I encourage you all to find the passion and lesson in this book! You can order right here!YOU WILL NOT BE MISLED, BUT FOUND.

http://battlecryofthebutterfly.com/taoofpimpin/

Also, check out her website!

http://www.battlecryofthebutterfly.com/uranusisblue/

The Time Keeper (See Where You Are)

I just finished watching ‘The Time Keeper’ by Mitch Albom!

It’s a book with massive critical acclaim and for good reasons!

I won’t indulge each and every passage that enveloped the story but my abbreviations are heavy with a sense of parallel discovery.

Right after, I finished reading the book immediately as I went to lay, the song ‘See Where You Are’ by Amel Larrieux stormed within my heart. The lyrics speak of exactly, what the book manages to explore.

“It’s zippin by
Like speed of light
Or draggin painfully slow
It’s not enough
Or just too much
Either way it’s gonna go”

TIME, what truly is it all about? I’ve written very much about time, the paradox of its nature, the believability that it is given. While reading the book, what I managed to enjoy are those random slices of revelation! Mitch, often dropped knowledge as a poetry entrance, to concur with the setting of what he talked spoke about! I started to read the book backward, but I’ll manage to now quote some of my favorite slices from end to the beginning.

“Everything man does today to be efficient, to fill the hour? It does not satisfy. It only makes him hungry to do more. Man wants to own his existence. But no one owns time”

“With endless time, nothing is special. With no loss sacrifice, we can’t appreciate what we have.”

“When we’re most alone is when we embrace another loneliness / But…Hurting ourselves to inflict pain on others is just another cry to be loved”

“Einstein once postulated that if you traveled at an enormous rate of speed, time would actually slow down relative to the world you left behind, so that seeing that future without aging alongside it was, at least theoretically possible.

“He did not know that the child who asked for yesterday was now seeking to own tomorrow”

“But a man who can take anything will find most things unsatisfying. And a man without memories is just a shell.

“In this world, he heard a constant hum, as if a hundred sounds were being mashed into one note. He didn’t yet know this was the sound of a single slowed moment”

These were quotes that really managed to detail the moments in time, which have brought a sense of measuring eternity. The book motivated me to see where I am. Which brings me back to Amel!

“What you wanted is what you have
Or isn’t it
What you are is out of your hands
Or isn’t it

Lay down your pencil
Computer off
Say not a word
Get out of your car
Step away from your desk
Don’t look at the clock
Stand there in silence

And see where you are
And see where you are
And see where you are
And do you wanna be where you are”

This song motivates us, to lay down what we are writing. DO WE EVEN KNOW, WHAT WE ARE WRITING? Turn the computer off, and observe the silence! This song really enveloped my thought process because, lately, that is exactly what I have been doing lately. Staying quiet and not looking at the clock. There is a lot in my life going on…But I am stepping away from my desk. Just to see where I am..I realize I don’t want to be where I am.

She goes even deeper in the next lyrics:

It’s everything
A vivid dream
Or not worth talking about
The big idea
Until it’s here
And then they’re taking the

house

What you wanted is what you have
Or isn’t it
What you are is out of your hands
Or isn’t it

What we often want is what we have, and many times we feel is that it is out our hands!

Ah yes
Feeling the implications
Of somebody else’s
Expectations
You could elope if you wanted to

DO you want to is the question?