Storage Ghost

my eyes roll like dice, scattering probabilities spiced!
the cost of a gamble?
is scratching my head as i ramble !

whatever to the never,
‘cuz it’s not like IT intended on ever really coming through ( at least, FOR YOU)

their languished, weary confusion, was then
re-billed to my mirrored delusion!
i can either pay it, or let it go, overdraft?
after which, the picture and frame would both laugh !

‘cuz what a scene that would be, ha –
to portray : my dismay, on the table of their concern?
i much rather burn!!!
until i’m left crusted from the flickering flame...

041421 SG
fire, plants, art decor

peeling away at this smoke and ash –
forgiveness is requesting to come to pass,
but i’m too stubborn to ever remember,
that my preference for Spring is not tantamount to your December!

so i choose to remove myself like a fly, chilling against the wall.

but if you were close to my ear, i wouldn’t dismiss your call.
neither, would i smash at the annoyance of your disposition.
irrespective of how preciously, you may regard that ‘position’.

i shutter to believe : we could shoulder next to the grudge
‘cuz it wouldn’t be long until we succumb to the nudge
but,
by storing my memories to your ghost? i’ve relinquished our odds to the abyss and uttermost!

a vow of sigh-inced’ waves

current waves are alike to the days, which came before
counting backward and ahead – left to bore :

years,
months,
weeks, 
days ,
minutes,
hours,
seconds,

all moving towards  ‘seven
but
missing the goal post of ‘ heaven ‘

030721 AVOSIW
Ummm, Eh, …

what must one do, when realizing they have not gotten through? when the CLUELESS BLUE** wanders abroad them and you. how can one glue the pieces torn a part , if they can no longer chart : on a scale in which magenta and cyan could vow to SIGH AND

repeat a promise of : SILENCED WAVES….
RUPTURED through the crushing DAYS
STILL capable to amaze if not trapped by a cyclical HAZE

Vowing to a silent PHASE
as current waves are like the days that came before
counting ahead and backward – left to bore

seconds,
hours,
minutes,
days,
weeks,
months,
years,

all missing towardsseven
but
moving the goal post to ‘heaven’ 

a vow of sCiEnCe
wherein data stands in AlLiaNcE
with the truth of what can be made more CLEAR
so that the ‘sigh‘ may revere *as opposed to FEAR*
YA HeAr?

EvErYwHeRe n’ EvErYtHiNg

this writing has scheduled me captive
a release of this feeling, caging me adaptive :
to all of the colors of misery left to display.
(you can expect nursery rhymes, idioms, and fantasy – hooray!)
these tones and fixtures dressing my shadows are compromised by a flaunting spark.
it flickers like a flame 
but the accountancy checks, marks?
are signed by a fraudulent name!
to what end does this despair carry?
unspoken abbreviations which can no longer tarry…
the marriage of the dichotomy between liquid and gas
prompts offspring of the physical and spiritual heir to come to past.

 


everywhere, n’ everything started to sing
people, places, n’ ideas, signaled a RING!
a chance to be answered by sweaty and out of breath dancers – fancying the occasion, to respond to this decadent persuasion. in which all NOUNS had to recite their lines, up beat, crushed, & entwined !

but,
instead of facing the consequences truly,
their cowardice became unruly.
outside of the inside and around the down and found – traveling at a speed where their nebula can reach before the flashlight could click. 
right before, my feet met slick
like an x – rated flick
now there’s a drip
providing a spiral confession
wherein this tale reads as my succession
everybody readily ‘revels’ at the bounce.
a party filled with jello and colorful hellos.
it would be seen as circumstantial- to not undress and dismantle.
so here’s to the cutting – right to the chase – windows perplexed and mirrors gone to waste. 
a price of vanity, is an impending transaction.
these muscular trophies, have been attained through repetitive tension.
filled with cyclical-calendar-commitments-reimbursing-the-worked out-pension.
here are a few, (commitments) which make due :
turtles n’ gloves.
rubrics n; doves. 
magic and mind.
candy at influx with rhyme. 
calories and added fat. mistakes and cute cats. soothing the reminder of yesteryear, reminding very clear as to what it means to be free.
a collective university
wherein the masses accompany 
– in struggle and in harmony!

for..

many are displaced.
figuring out what caused their mind to go ace. stricken from the eyespassionate lullabies.
tread with light feet.
colorful slides? mesmerized!
roasted junctions in heat as the sun turns to direction of the west
a light recurs to test!
a bedazzling agent provocateur,
inviting lace scented webs stringed to allure.

shall i continue or go on?
back when, n’ again…

everywhere, n’ everything started to sing
people, places, n’ ideas, signaled a THING!

singing tunes of the clown and a smile that became a frown!
not all answers went down.
some went around.
others came to only fly.
i could try.
but i can’t explain the withering refrain

for..

the pedigree of my registry
left me aligned with a succulent pleasantry 
i’m hungry cuz my motions have been left starved
as structures became carved
medicine was then pulverized
to escape the large n’ embodied surprise 
cuz that pill? was built ill!

everywhere, n’ everything started to sing
people, places, n’ ideas, signaled a RING!




HISTORICAL FACT*

it is a historical fact! that the story has been played like an act !
there’s indeed a synopsis and sequel  …
but the characters and setting are not equal !



troubled is the fragrance that left me stained
reminded, tossed, inactive remains? spiked n’ chained !
i wish to train the cross left for me to bear
the markers are legislated : docile and unfair

it is a historical fact! that the lines are studied, written, & tracked!
there’s indeed a subject and plot …
but the producer failed at hiring the director’s slot !

whose forrest is being destroyed and whose lawn is in need of finely cut grass?
besides the mercenaries who only seek to exploit the working class?
BUT we’re kicking the glass so that it may fall
for this sound is a recall
that the shattering deposition of restricting forces may withstand even within an arid and calloused land/hand

it is a historical fact! that the story has been cracked!
there’s indeed hammers, screws, and drills ….
but the complex is yet incomplete, exempt from all the thrills!

we’re pumped y’all! ! 
cuz we’ve already been captured by a blood sucking thief
thus, certainly there’s no peace of mind or bodily relief
when in war – one can not simply refuse the score
only until the pedals and bullets are scattered on the floor
will the meaning of such sacrifice bum-rush the door

it is a historical fact! that the story has been stacked!
one coming in after the other, now the room is packed!
there’s indeed a selling point and central theme
one in which may create a distraction or a humorous meme ….

ScRiBbLe dRriBbLe…

turn on the lights!
escaping my window frame is a horizontal gaze,
extending itself onto a perpendicular praise.
the numbers outweigh
the substance and sway.
tho ‘the dough’ is rolling on by cylinder finesse.
by wood crafting, but the ghost of sawdust is no mans fool.
this tool,
is blunt with dull edges, yet it does chop.
from bharal to
bunny hop –
distance merely invites a motion or silent still
both of which can move a mountainous hill
further above, beyond and predictably ahead….
inquiring neighbors lounge, the graveyard of the dead.
though, the sprinkler system alarms the yawn to spawn a reactive measure,
set adjacent to the milk, honey, & pleasure
it is by outdated refrain,
i have foreseen the capable and much needed dream.
by neon surprise, this sleep has counted my weary and western eyes – however, the food has expired where there are now fruit flies.
sweet and stingy cuz i’ve survived the reaction which reckons with pickup and sorted decay. awakening my languid latitudes by drifting with the longitudes which have left me fed as prey.
yes, my hostage is hostile and unkept
by stratified emotions in which Jesus Wept.

020821 SD

aLl Of My ScRiBbLeS???

dRriBbLe !!!!
through the language of many sounds.
echoes and whispers which arouse my ears with devotional candles and incense.
assuring a moving dissipation to condense.
i’m drawn with a holy supplication – errors now joined with practiced theory.
So what if : the marks of progress are torn by eternal struggle and engulfed dreary?
the ancestors have empowered me to soften my hands to their stone – the vow is kept and made home,
despite imperialist forces set to cast us alone.
the work continues to service my spirit ready for war. hands and feet, thickly covered with blood and tar. safeguarded by tactical drones and made stable by a dichotomized satellite
we shall soon gain our second sight !
bringing the masses closer to liberty and peace
the awakening bells provide a feast
wherein all fears and inhibitions can surcease !

c3L3bRaT3, DiSrAt3!!!

i’m distracted by an invisible, obscene light! it’s beams have blinded my flight, my knees encapsulated very tight, as to not refuse this surrender in near sight. historically, the scenes have been rewritten by bourgeois state, propaganda page – it is of this unprecedented age – wherein our search for truth, has lost its REASON. yet, others mention : ‘tis the SEASON!

 

&…as much as i can appreciate ‘ALL OF THE LIGHTS’ which come with this very spirit and time, unfortunately the cookies and sweetness do not adequately rhyme. my *c3l3bration* is displaced _ for the pages have been spoiled through revisionist stains, an aroma so abhorrent it confuses your BRAIN!

they got you SOLD, through mere packaging and characters TOLD. Santa or Jesus come quickly, for the time is nigh! what stands to reckon with the shoulder and thigh? most of everybody seems to reside on the ‘merry fairy’ – hands full, chugging with a chug of hot cocoa and cider! they got their stockings full with Rudolph on call, if ever they’re in need of a rider. meats, staggering eyes, and holiday cheer! for ‘Christmas and ‘Knew’ is often wrapped as ‘The Most Holy Time of the Year’.

010321 CD

but i’m feeling distant and enclosed, like an envelope that never reached across the shore. up and around with star clouds circling rain, crowning promises with heights capable of steady gain. stretched from bone to rock – appealing for breathable fiction to arise and flock. gathering clusters of ancient and mystical craze // finding delight in sensory history – wedged between mushroom and daisy blistery. according to a will that’s real and not faint. one couldn’t paint this taint through lecture of structure but by a compelling deal. which is what’s real. real as in real ISOLATION _ dislocated memories rewritten by highjacked and embezzled CONSTELLATIONS.

it’s been in the works for a long time! forgotten is the said formulation of demonstrable protest and awakening. narratives are then created to depict a revisionist herstory. changing the form from body to glory : extinguishing the spirit and orchestrating the story, thus leaving the remnants of this TALE – engaged in dichotomy, fought tooth and nail. with the essences of all that is taught and unlearned : i request of the guest of my soul – a quest that may reimburse the TOLL. for my mercies have been SPENT, bruised and hidden from the ears in where my whispers could VENT. 

 

for : the veil has been torn but also worn. through the mention of its appearance, you’re soon subject to its absurd adherence. we wear *with despair’ all of which, spontaneously comes our way. it is with this notion, that we fluctuate and dismay. but are we tempted to disguise – what may be left to surrender or arise? from out of the dark, hallow, and encrusted flame, our integrity is sentenced to return to a place where there’s no name. it rhymes with real but it’s not a shady deal. tho, invisibly embodied as spirit and intention, there is no mention – of the friction and tension – of the thin sheet which misplaces ones attention.
010321 Z2A
N2021 – for 3 months, I shall rewind from Z 2 A and i must say: what was already said, remained laid – bare and uncovered on my bed. words which were misplaced and spoken and saved as a lifeline, have now been forged by the consequential flame of a spoiled vine – one that can be followed through***- one that can be played AHEAD. if you follow along, the buttons will connect with embroidery THREAD. so follow along with me from Z 2 A – many more animations and symbols to display!

010321 URISOPC RUISOPC

**** RUISOPC 3 MONTHS (3,7,10,14,17,21,28) // sunday’s, wednesday’s,saturday’s // instagram live, twitter, twitch, youtube, str3aming s3rvic3s, 3tc…***
UP UNTIL ‘URISOPC’ is released!

D I N O S A U R // D I S C O N N E C T I O N

(YOU CAN READ THIS POEM IN TWO WAYS. BEFORE OR AFTER THE PARENTHESIS…)

good ending (EVENING) mr.rise (WISE!)

i’ve come to share with you a proposal that can work out for your (OUR) benefit.

the measures of how we succeed are built around trust and commitment. before i bet (GET) led astray by a mistake , you should haunt, for the best (BEAT)!

the groove is so slick, *enough to trick* thus, you may be curious : to twinkle the rising start (STAR).

the beast of pleasure is a ringing bull (BELL) waiting to be acknowledged.

why scorn the back catalog which was created to ensure a steady income?

be thankful, that you still have led (RED) in the writes (RIGHTS) of what you control.

ion (I DON’T EVEN KNOW) what made me do this?

such an idea I felt moved to spring from the GROUND.

everything and nothing making a SOUND!

what you get is what you never HaD cuz capitalism ruins your consciousness to remain gLaD.

sad (MAD) is the system that removes protection from the ailments of unpredictable thunder clouds and (PAIN) rain.

SO, stay out inside the frame – if you’re wishing to know the (GAME) name!

the remnants of the pieces left to be (WEIGHED) waited for all the seconds, minutes, and hours left to COUNT.

various scriptures dressed as parables to MOUNT – but it matters n0ne if you are disconnected like the ‘DINO’ or was it the KONG?

122820 DD
“disconnected like the DINO, or was it the KONG?

was the DON_KEY that spoke through numbers WRONG?

for such an ancient of a TIME – back when all living things, RHYMED with hypos (TYPOS) and scattered fate (FAITH) – the words left token (SPOKEN) by a process flyer (HIGHER) than what was ever imagined to see (BE).

Some believe (BEES – 🐝– LEAVE) they have work to due! (DO)!

despite the fiction (DEPICTION) of a DONKEY that was BRUISED 3 times and nearly KILLED for moving out of the day (WEIGH) for it had scene (SEEN) an angel of the Lord.

it was only following what its lies (EYES) made known. now that seeds have been clone (SOWN)…may the dinosaur of mEaNinG – keep your faith (FATE) lEaNiNg!

towards, the very reason : bones and fossils are evident, of what was once near (HERE).

meaning and the search for truth: can never revere (DISAPPEAR)!

For the angle (ANGEL) of the LORD OF HOSTS whispers connections, worthy to BOAST : far, wide, up, down, and through the COSTAL REGIONS!

stories (GLORIES) to awaken the often forgotten but upper echelon LEGIONS!

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH.10 : IS G-D DONKEY KONG?)

this concludes the 10 chapter volume of Weigh The Minute! Typo Or Fate? TO CHECK OUT THE OTHER CHAPTERS CLICK HERE : ( CH.1 // CH.2 // CH.3 // CH.4 // CH.5 // CH.6 // CH.7 // CH.8 // CH.9 )

the story of Balaam and the DON_KEY is one of those stories, that visually stands out as among, the most unusual in scripture. just like when the serpent spoke for the first time in Genesis. figuratively or actually – the metaphor of such parable is enough to shakes ones head N2 imagination. in this particular story : G-D chose to possess a Don_Key to SPEAK words, which prompted Balaam to strike, 3 times. The man being pissed at the Don_Key’s apparent stubbornness and delusion , nearly killed his faithful Don_Key.

 

122120 WTMTOF CH10IGDK
Numbers 22:21-39

Numbers 22: 21-39

 

21 Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the Moabite officials. 22 But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the Lord stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. 23 When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, it turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat it to get it back on the road.24 Then the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path through the vineyards, with walls on both sides. 25 When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot against it. So he beat the donkey again.26 Then, the angel of the Lord moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. 27 When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat it with his staff. 28 Then the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?” 29 Balaam answered the donkey, “You have made a fool of me! If only I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now.” 30 The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?”“No,” he said.31 Then, the Lord opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown. 32 The angel of the Lord asked him, “Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me.[a] 33 The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If it had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared it.”34 Balaam said to the angel of the Lord, “I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back.”35 The angel of the Lord said to Balaam, “Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you.” So Balaam, went with Balak’s officials. 36 When Balak heard that Balaam, was coming, he went out to meet him at the Moabite town on the Arnon border, at the edge of his territory. 37 Balak said to Balaam, “Did I not send you an urgent summons? Why didn’t you come to me? Am I really not able to reward you?” 38 “Well, I have come to you now,” Balaam replied. “But I can’t say whatever I please. I must speak only what God puts in my mouth.”39 Then Balaam went with Balak to Kiriath Huzoth.

CREDITS EXTEND TO EACH AND EVERY NOUN, MENTIONED IN THIS ENDEAVOR. THE REASON ‘G-D’ IS WRITTEN AS SUCH IS BECAUSE THE ‘O’ WHICH MAKES ONE ‘GO’ : IN VARIOUS PLACES, GETS THROUGH BY KALEIDOSCOPIC DEGREES. ALSO, THE SACRED AND DIVINE, NEEDN’T BE FULLY CALLED BY EVERY LETTER.

phonto

HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL

OVERFLOWING RIVERS

HURRICANE RAYKWAN

TOMSON

RAPTUS

YELLOW JOURN

MISSIONARY ‘LIVION***

GRANNY LIGHT

BISHOP GRIN

PASTOR SCREAMER & WHISPER

MOTHER VIRGINIA

MISSIONARY GLADY’S

 

EISEGESIS // EXEGESIS

MINISTER // SINISTER

PROPHETS // PROFITING

OBLIVION // RESISTANCE TO PROGRESS

THE WORD TEMPLE // O.S.A.S

THE CHURCH // THE S3ARCH

KN3W COV3NANT // MARK3T

SiNgAlOnG2m3!!! // UNM3RIT3D FAVOR

RaDiCaL N’ TrAdItIoNaL ReLiGiOUs SeNtImEnT // wEaReLiViNgInThElAsTdAzE!!!

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH. 8: THE BIBLE BELT)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 2 chapters will resume respectively as follows : 
12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //

“don’t you hate it when your pants sag to the ground?!” when you’re constantly having to pull them up because they’re not quite fit around your waist? i suppose if you lost a little weight, it’s a surprise the first time around but it’s only a matter of time, before you’d need a belt!

pulling up the extra slack so that like your shoes – they’d be tied down onto you. if you’re walking around with pants that are too large for you, a belt is a necessary accessory. the belt ensures proper walking and comfort knowing you won’t be caught with your pants down. no one likes to be caught with their pants down or maybe you want everyone to know your favorite colored underwear with the penguins and strawberries. heaven forbid, anyone peeks at your preference of an array of arenas to display?!

if your pants are bigger around your waist, a belt fixes the doubt away. however, if you wore the near exact measurement for your pants – the need of a belt is not essential. TOMSON thought of this connection in relation to the bible belt in the South where he was born. what would happen if you took the belt off from Southern USA? no doubt the trousers would fall faster than a small speck that causes avalanches.

another question arises, why are some places wearing overly large trousers to begin with? could they be trying to cover up all that hides inside? wouldn’t they know when it’s time to protect their trousers from falling?

there’s lot of reasons for this but to save time and spare of you of a complicated history between the South, war narratives, statues, slavery, and mind control via the state – the easiest answer would have to be the comfort that traditions provide for people. TOMSON began to understand that, TRADITIONAL RELIGIOUS SENTIMENT for a lot folks is the belt which holds their pants up. it may not be the most stylistic belt, but it has an individual whole (reason) for the entire length of its build. so even if you grow out it, you can still come back to it and find a space.

the south has a charm about it unlike anywhere else In America (Where there’s no way in or no way out)’, TOMSON began to see. the sentiment behind “southern hospitality” comes to mind. the friendliness and warmness that can be experienced by a simple hello down the street or the warm offer of cold lemonade and tea to a stranger. (never without shade!)

people in the south tend to abide by normatives that are rarely challenged. TOMSON never ever really thought about going to church so regularly because that’s just the way it is OVER THERE. no one is sparred from gossip and the talk of “i heard” in fact you get so use to it, when someone is not talking smack you wonder what they’ll say about you, when you leave their presence to talk with someone else. that’s just the way it goes. people run their mouths especially in smaller towns like in SHREVEPORT.

the SOUTHERN BIBLE BELT holds together various traditions and practices and there is integrity found in some of these ways of life. for as much as there is southern hospitality, there’s also ‘southern stupidity’ and the stupidity in the south is usually reflected in a naivety of approach, most of which is not in service to the productivity of thought.

120720 WTMTOFCH8 TBB

there are various reasons one can point to where OBLIVION arises from, but one remaining fragrance which steadily lingers is RESISTANCE TO PROGRESS . the more you advance in the awakening of knowledge, there will be various rebukes to progress. it’s not E-Z to deal with the heaviness of rebuttal. a proper rebuke sends a tingling down your heart. TOMSON remembers most feeling it powerfully as a child, but this sensation remains present day. trying to listen to this rebuke anytime it shows up because naturally, it’s there to somehow teach YOU a lesson.*** “notwithstanding, not all rebukes are for the better, especially if you’re WHOPPED 3 TIMES AND NEARLY KILLED for following orders!”***

a rebuke of progress is one that is instilled from a place of indoctrinated belief. it tells you to not spread “THAT MESSAGE” because you can mislead the children. it tells you that the propaganda is a tool of manipulation. what they don’t ALSO tell you, is that propaganda can also be used for the benefit of education. much of what we have learned from society stems from a system of propaganda. if you want to present a RaDiCaL idea, you must package it in subliminal packaging. that way people won’t be able to tell (at least not directly) that you are giving them something KNEW.

if you are used to living a certain way for years, you tend to scoff at the possibility that another way of life can conquer this one. (but there are lives to come!)

the purpose of a tailor is to make sure you’re fitted and good to go. communicate honestly, for if there’s any one PERSON deserving of small talk – your tailor is a good bet, OBVIOUSLY. the more clearly you represent what you want // the more likely you’ll find what you intend for. what’s the point in lying about your size or pinching details before you’re meeting your tailor?

as Hollywood and revisionist history would have it, it’s very commonplace for the masses of the people to ignore the thousands of years of injustice. nothing is clearer to this sentiment than the all too present but antediluvian proclamation : “wEaReLiViNgInThElAsTdAzE!!!.”

TOMSON never understood this PHRASE for the “tHeLaStDaZE” as he understood it – have been the reason folks PRAISE. feeling closer and closer to a celebratory occasion in the sky! tHeLaStDaZE is all simply the mAZe!

TOMSON began to witness a recurring anniversary except, it only began on his own and thus and everyone celebrated this anniversary on their own. everybody was listening to various TiPs for their HiPs , he being even more determined to not TRIP – for that would qualify a DIP into a SeAsON that can’t account for any ReAsON. other than to judge and SpOiL, the grapes given to a life of peril and tOiL….

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH. 6: CONGREGATIONAL SONG? ALL TOGETHER NOW!)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 4 chapters will resume respectively as follows : 


11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

 

 

“sing along to my tun3!
follow my l3ad!
take caution, l3st you wander off to a m3lody that’s not min3!
hold onto the not3 that i’ll giv3 you :
that’s right!
carry along…
harmoniz3…
stay in the sam3 k3y!
don’t st33r too far!!
i can help you when you’r3 lost!!!
th3s3 l3ssons ar3 only for thos3 willing to stick to th3 not3s!!!!!!
you only g3t this shot and this opportunity isn’t bas3d on luck!
pr3par3 to b3 r3buk3d, when you r3vok3 my instruction !
i’m s3rious about this!
you can’t b3 joking around with your actions!
THIS IS ALL THAT MATT3RS – not your promis3!
how far ar3 you going to go?
D3P3NDS 3NTIR3LY ON MY MOTION!
trav3l light!
& pack with int3ntion!
but you must follow through – on my command!
W3IGHT THE MINUT3!
not too fast !
you ar3n’t following m3 anymor3 –
you’r3 off the lin3!
S33!!!
this is what happ3ns wh3n you don’t AGR33!
you hav3n’t r3ach3d the point of rhym3!
disdain! ord3r – i say! 3h, what3v3r – mak3 your own nois3?!
this c3rtainly has nothing to do with m3 anymor3!?mayb3 that’s how you lik3 it?!!?
– SiNgAlOnG2m3!!!

 

the truth of reconciliation is not always fun, especially when you’re very well versed in damaging behavior. it can be like ink on your hands not easily capable of being washed away with regular soap and water. it always takes more than what we’re willing to put in. sometimes you got to put some elbow grease with it!

 

“lEfT to write ! right to READ! brush to break a part the fat & GREED! UP & DOWN, side to sLiDe – foam through the mix and gLiDe!

take a lease on the GrEaSe – and work to ReLeAsE with no will to ever CeAsE – sauce your elbows and keep the pEaCe !”

GRANNY LIGHT would often tell TOMSON when making pancakes and fish – “You can’t be cute with the flip,.” Which was another way of saying – just get to the bottom of the surface and turn it over.

she wanted TOMSON to be cute with how he laid, the fish down. after seasoning the fish and making sure, the castor oil was hot before putting it in to fry – you needn’t worry about being burned. TOMSON knew the burn would sure nuff come, if he just threw the fish in the skillet as if he were afraid. GRANNY LIGHT, taught him how to lay it down cute. this soon became a lesson in TOMSON’S life, if he were ever going to turn over heads in the church by viewing the world differently, he had to be wild about it or at least cute with it.

TOMSON became quite aware that most of his traditional leanings were having less and less of an effect on himself, but this did not deter him from going back to his hometown in Shreveport, for summer. TOMSON never really liked Albuquerque, mainly because he was mainly missing his friends and the atmosphere of HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL!

While he didn’t agree with most of what they taught back at HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL, he learned how to eat the fish and spit out the bones. they preached a lot about hell and fiery damnation to all of those who did not get right with G-D. He became more and more annoyed at this message because he heard it more than hearing about the love and grace of G-D. in a heated argument with one of his best friends. he was told how Albuquerque was changing him into a more secular form of himself.

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TOMSON never understood why his friend and so many others were so persistent with such an uninviting message about damnation and ‘LIVING HOLY’. It seemed the ONLY people who found that kind of scare tactic message to be of service, were those who were familiar with that kind of cut dry teaching to begin with. the way TOMSON saw it : that message certainly did not increase the membership of HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL, in fact it seemed more people left the church than joined after Hurricane RAYKWAN. when Tomson remarked this to his friend, he said that “the way of holiness is narrow and that while many were called BUT only a few were chosen.”

nonetheless, TOMSON still loved the energy of HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL and some familiar faces we’re happy to see him. TOMSON was getting even more confused by the amount of contradictions that were fully justified at the expense of traditional reliance. people there did not seem to be as confused as he was because they seemed to have more answers for questions. in fact, ‘confusion’ was often frowned upon whenever one admitted to its presence.

 

“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)

TOMSON always heard THIS as a response to any confrontation with confusion. he found it as one of the biggest paradoxes Confusion and Peace seemed to inhabit the same space on more than one occasion. certainly a hurricane and sudden change of pace – would cause some initial confusion, “for the story has yet to be told.” Tomson began to see that both OVERFLOWING RIVERS AND HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL – though they contrast, in some key ways, they simultaneously maintained a business minded structure. 

one in which by pressure, then OBLIGATED them *by doctrinal infallibility* to participate in giving and to do so with JOY ! but at what expense? TOMSON thought! the numb3rs in the bible appeared to reveal themselves in moving form in TOMSON’S life, except only now by specific percentages.

while the fear of hell began to dissolve in the evolution of TOMSON’S growth – another dichotomy of “give and receive” arose. TOMSON remembered eventually giving MOTHER VIRGINA the combination meal he ordered for himself and was told afterward ” G-D is gonna pour you out a blessing, that you won’t have room enough to receive!” while TOMSON smiled at mere poetry of this notion, it was exactly the type of obligation that both OVERFLOWING RIVERS AND HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL justified at various lengths if one would not ONLY give cheerfully but also RESPONSIBLY.

TOMSON AND RAPTUS began the quest of uncovering UNM3RIT3D FAVOR which expanded them beyond the confines of any legalistic appeal of “The CHURCH” and as such – they made it their S3ARCH, to break *and to help other’s break* completely free from any obligation which was tied to a baseless tithe. as it turns out, you could rob G-D – even when under a kN3W COV3NANT.

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH.4 : TELL HIM YES)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 6 chapters will resume respectively as follows : 


11.7.2020 // 11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

Tomson’s life looks completely different now than it did when he was a child growing up in Shreveport, Louisiana. (No surprise there!) Tomson came from a family of five, being the youngest – he grasped the world around him very easily. 

He was in for a journey about thrills and fills – If you follow along with this brief account, you’ll certainly be in for one too! He remembered a lot from his childhood but undeniably what sticks out the most is the repetition of events. Tomson and his family went to church so frequently, if he were to miss it for a day it felt very strange. SUNDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY FRIDAY – This was not any kind of church but a church where miracles were demonstrated in unexplainable phenomena. 

Tomson belonged to a pentecostal and holiness church, wherein the members believed in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. From making the blind see, the deaf to hear, and speaking in unknown tongues. They’d wait before the altar for hours just for the glory of The Lord to enter the room and fill everyone all up. The colors of the organ were as bright as the voices that cried from the congregation begging everyone in the building to “TELL HIM YES”. 

When the anointing would come into the church – anything could happen from scribbles on the floor to foaming at the mouth. As far as Tomson knew, the anointing was the power that could make someone break out into a dance, cry, or even run around the church as if they were running a marathon. Some consider it “getting happy for the Lord”. It was always an unexpected series of hysteria, but it felt good as far as Tomson knew. It was almost like a drug that could intoxicate and induce hallucinations of visions and dreams. All you needed to do was tune into the vibration of the people around.  

What seemed to be the goal was to be baptized with the Holy Ghost, which was a sacred and expected gift to desire after you were saved. If you committed your life to Jesus – why not want the gift of the Holy Spirit? It was free and given to all of those who asked for it. At Tomon’s Church ” HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL ” they believed that waiting for the power to endow you was worth the sweat and big breasted women yelling in your face to ‘*TELL HIM YES: Say Yes! Yes! Yes!” *

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At no point did it cross Tomson’s mind that ‘NO’ could even be an option* (also why would one say no to something that made you joyful?) he remembered being in front of the altar in tears because he felt a rhythm in his body that he could not explain. Church for him, was more than the shouting, singing, communion, and then hearing The Word. The word that was sharper than any two-edged sword meant to divide the wrong and right in his life. This word would enter his psyche deep and early and became the dance floor where all his soul was expressed and revealed.

For all of the dancing and shouting, HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL was still incredibly focused on proper memorization of doctrine and scripture. The Statement of Faith, The B-Attitudes, The 10 Commandments, were all expected to be fully memorized and repeated upon request from the leading missionaries and Elders. Tomson never had any problem remembering them *even at the tender age at 12*, though he did not understand the fullness of what they meant.

The preachers and teachers made sure the church knew that everything in life had a foundation and reason behind them. Simply put: It was either holiness or hell the way they saw it. Thereby, you had to be willing to separate yourself from everybody else – cuz you ain’t like nobody else! YOU ARE THE HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL AFTERALL! You BETTER get right or you’re going to get LEFT when the Rapture comes! While, Tomson loved the idea of the rapture, he was also very astounded by such capture. It was written in such poetic pose : “In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.” 

Tomson liked to imagine the dead rising out of their tombstones like zombies. people would eventually realize why his family always danced and went to church four times a week! it would not prove them in vain! Tomson strived like so many others in his church to be Holy. he always heard : “BE HOLY FOR I AM HOLY”. He had to make sure he was READY for when the rapture was to occur which could be at any time. 

Without a warning, like a thief in the night. It could happen while sneaking into the living room to watch BET Uncut or when he was surfing the internet about things that turned him on. Tomson was scared and thrilled at the idea that we could all be caught up in the rapture. After all, the rapture is ‘The Blessed Hope’ this is what all true believers wanted to happen. it would finally be A day of justice. The Day of Reckoning.

A time where everyone would be separated. The sheep from the goats. His understanding of right and wrong became very polarizing. He just knew always in the back of his mind and deep in his heart : there was an expectation set for him. He was told by a prophet once, that he had a mission to complete. And he believed that mission would save him, giving him all of the necessary determination to reach his destiny.

Tomson had a purpose at an early age after becoming saved at 12 years old, he felt driven inside. Tomson felt he was saved because he remembered crying, after feeling a sensation come over him upon memories of light. He felt in his heart of hearts that he really meant YES AND JESUS WAS LORD. of course not knowing, why – he was crying or why eventually saying YES to this Lord– he still believed, better than to say yes than no, after all he did not want to go to hell.

Although, the idea of hell never made much sense to Tomson. Everyone at HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL made a big deal about how it was so nice to see a young boy receive Jesus at such an early age. Tomson was not alone, his brother RAPTUS and some close friends at FIRE ON THE HILL we’re on the same road to holiness. They all shared similar experiences. Crying before the alter and telling him ‘YES’. They knew how it felt to be anointed and the power that went in our veins making us dance and speak in unknown languages. They were the victims of rigorous revivals that reminded them of the importance of staying faithful in a world filled with temptation. 

Speaking of temptation, Tomson noticed his flesh was changing. It started at 11, and at the dawn of adolescence and while it’s proclaimed, “The flesh is weak, but the spirit is willing”. *His flesh felt anything but weak only just as *IF NOT STRONGER THAN HIS SPIRIT*. He was too young to navigate the extremity of what these feelings were about and too old and stubborn to do something against them. Eventually he would soon find the answer…

He just knew a lot was changing and he had to respond to those changes with something stronger than just saying YES to whatever they were telling him to say yes to. Why was HE saying ‘Yes’ this whole time? Would it have been better for him to say no? 

Some would say, Tomson was young and naïve to believe all this information without the will to question it. One reason he said Yes was due to the urgency of the leaders around him. He figured they meant well (they always had peppermints and candy after service). But the more he waited before the altar something was happening. He started to feel bumps on his skin. Tomson knew the ‘anointing’ had not only come into the room but onto him. He didn’t realize what he had tapped into. The more he explored the ‘YES’ he realized some of what he was saying yes to : deserved a solid NO.

Before he set out to explore on these intense changes, life offered its own natural change in the form of one of the most disastrous hurricanes no one expected, Hurricane RAYKWAN which hit that later that summer. Tomson’s family evacuated to various places until they settled in Albuquerque, New Mexico. At the heels of all these changes, his ideas surrounding what he believed had a significant change. Thoughts change upon new information and since processing new information at such a rapid speed – something had to be done with the various bites of knowledge he had encumbered. The rapture indeed came in a form of transition which bled what Tomson understood as traditional…

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE! (CH. 3) : WORLDS WITHIN THE WORLD

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 7 chapters will resume respectively as follows:
// 10.21.2020 //

11.7.2020 // 11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

 

 

what’s true is that WE live in the world. this is a large world when you contextualize the enormity of the milky way (100,000–120,000 light-years in diameter and about 1,000 light-years thick, but up to 400 billion stars are located within it) earth is stuck in the milky way and we’re living in world with billions of other organisms. when you factor where law and order come into place, morality starts to feel like a joke. not only that, but everyone has different versions of morality, some say they’re in on a BIG secret.

one way i explain ‘Belief’ to people would be me liking to the process of belief to play-doh. the funny kind of slime which becomes anything you want it to be according to your imagination. you can make an intricate mansion filled with the most expensive chandeliers and tile flooring or a shack with busted windows with belief. it could either be THIS or THAT.

it’s been estimated people lie on average about a hundred times per day. why is this? it could be fear, cynicism, poor self-image, societal norms, and a host of many other things. what does this say about the nature of our world?

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WORLDSWITHINTHEWORLD

next time you hear someone tell you that “you live in your own world!”. tell them YES and so do you! i have always seen conversation as not only ‘paradise’ but a very a shakeable world. this is a world we must always engage within because we can’t live for too long alone without talking to someone else or wanting company.

the more you talk to people – you expose yourself to other galaxies and perspectives which are not held by your hands. somebody who talks to a lot of people not only expands their worldview, but create a space for self-reflection. it’s extremely important to point out the flawed veils we use to hide our true faces.

religion, politics, and overall systems in general respond to their own rules embedded in those particular said systems.

*so, talk to me human being. i don’t always want to hear what your doctrine says. i want to know what your heart says.*

we can already see where someone is going when they reveal to you, an window of their worldview. if someone tells you early that they are a vegan, recommending them to a spicy chicken joint isn’t useful to them. this of course, does not mean that they won’t use that opportunity to remind you why you should not eat chicken or meat at all for that matter.

so, choose your battles wisely. if someone believes we are all doomed but unable to talk to strangers unless they are warning them of damnation – who can talk to someone with that kind of assurance of indignation directed towards them?

there remains a market for selling fear. by making people afraid then telling them afterwards: “here is the answer! trust in this! give your life to this! believe in this and you will be saved!” while this is some people’s rhetoric – it’s also religion at large. since we’re all walking around with our fears about society, this fear can be exploited in favor of alien medicine.

medicine that does not attempt to solve the root behind the issue. fear can still be a helpful emotion, to navigate through the wilderness but better when it’s via fearlessness! we all go through the wilderness at some point and some do not walk with us among the trees. how many of us are living lonely? probably a large percentage of us! whether it’s feeling like a stranger in your own home or incomplete when provided with all the resources to succeed.

loneliness is often seen as an infection that spreads through every bodily and mental function. it also can feel like the biggest form of irony when you think of how surrounded we are on this planet. there is no shortage of NOUNS but it doesn’t remove the resounding emptiness that often visits us.

loneliness is also a symptom of depression. while you don’t have to be clinically depressed to be lonely, studies suggest that those who are depressed often feel lonely. throughout life, loneliness is unpredicted but nonetheless sure. there is no full rhyme or reason for it – but it happens at a cost far too unbearable. loneliness is a knock that comes at your garden gate. it’s a brutal knock that always feels uninvited when it arrives. sorrow is made known by reduction and emotion lingers from the heart. this isolation is an inadequate room completely colored by tears and memories which beg for company.

“why did you have to leave me all alone?” this sense of loneliness is encouraged when those close to us – seem to be so far removed from our company. this embrace is one that must happen alone. the departure of acquaintance – leaves us all here on earth with sudden surprise. the clouds steady move and change form. what is it that you see in the clouds anyway?

are elephants high up above or are seahorses standing in an ice cream cone? do you see eye glasses or wheels from a tow truck?

the alphabet of the clouds are spoken by transitions which you can’t keep up with. (they change all the time, silly!) the same things which connect are the very threads which alienate. it’s amazing how glue can also halt a connection from continuing. the same people who are found in your community are the ones that can be distant to you upon changing transitions.

i’m thinking of the church here, it serves as a community of people intended to encourage and build around the gifts of the people. the church, however: remains a social club which presumes to accept everyone *at the moment* of their membership. after a while, their conviction is then challenged based on the testament of faith. the moment you go against the current – the waves then silence you to the alter of prayer. “i’ll pray for you” to repentance but if one doesn’t turn away from *backsliding* – sooner or later they’ll be banished or ostracized completely for not changing their ways for the faith. 

the one thing that brought you to the church is then intended to be removed from you, the moment you continue in your sinful ways. they’ll continually pray for you though – because they believe you can conquer the stumbling block in your way.

in the following chapters : i will unpack various accounts experienced through the lens of a child growing up in a saved, sanctified, and holy-ghost filled background! The quest soon began for Tomson and whether the word from the Donkey came from God or from what was considered Wrong? Was it a typo or his faith which led him to his fate?!

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH.2 : DIFFERENT LENS, DIFFERENT PENS)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 8 chapters will resume respectively as follows:

10.14.2020 // 10.21.2020 //

11.7.2020 // 11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

where do homeless people get their sharpies? i reckon the cardboard and boxes are easy to find from dumpsters and surrounding trash on the streets, but sharpies are not as common as a pen. i asked someone on hope postponed avenue and they wondered the same sentiment. telling me, they’d usually just borrow the sharpies another homeless person had. sometimes asking strangers coming into stores to buy for them. one story they shared with me was being on a Walgreens corner and asking a stranger walking into the store for a pack of sharpies. to their surprise She came back with sharpies, cardboard, scissors, sticky notes, paper clips, staplers and glue. after receiving the bag of goods, they replied to the customer “damn, i ain’t in an art and crafts class! i’m just trying to create a billboard for some snacks and cigarettes but thank you anyway – i may find this useful!” i’m not sure if they meant it as some cruel joke or what – bringing them all those materials, but i’ll never forget that story! you can use any of those tools to help provide a path for access.

transformations are never as cut dry as the media would have you believe. it takes time, and this isn’t a blink like we are led to conclude. this idea that transformation is instant like oatmeal is misleading and distorting the true chain of alchemy. it takes time and several series of transformations. one can not always prepare for the swift and sudden appearances of change.

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meeting new people is probably one of the easiest ways to calculate how swiftly their impact on your life changes you. what was it like when you first met your best friend? or your loved ones? you usually remember how your life was like before they came into it and how it changed after their appearance. people have an amazing ability to influence and even at times – shift your behavior for the better or for the worst. 

there is a common phrase i grew up hearing. “evil company corrupts good morals” which was another way of saying that good people who hang out with evil people can corrupt their behavior. “come out from among them and be separate, says the lord and i’ll receive you!” (2 corinthians 6:17) there’s a slight justification in this comparison but it requires a bit more understanding as to not be accepted at face value. for one, hanging out with someone who writes differently from you or speaks differently doesn’t equate to corruption. it’s one thing hanging out with someone who has similar interests and a common foundation. for instance, it could be very hard to be friends with someone who speaks a different language than you or has different cultural norms. unless the both of you are willing to learn how to communicate and understand why one has a different approach.

new insight springs different ways of thinking about things you probably wouldn’t be able to conjure up on your own. different lens, different pens. while this much seems obvious, it’s often forgotten through our interactions with people and the host of stories they carry with them. i would always hear while growing up in the church “don’t judge nobody because you never know what they’re going through” yet there was judgement for people who did things they believed were sinful. 

it’s true we don’t know what someone is going through or what they went through which led them to that point. we’re all like animals in Noah’s ark pretending our shit doesn’t stink like the one next to us. people come with a host of ideas engineered by complex functions that most of us will never uncover completely.

it’s very typical of humans; to make judgements on our interactions with strangers (or even friends) but it’s another game completely, to vocalize our misunderstandings in a way that exempts us from the same rules of judgement. 

people just want to make sense, we often neglect that work it takes to get to understanding. it takes work to be a scientist, but you don’t have to study the stars from a telescope to understand their light and distance. most people really want to get to the bottom of what you are saying. the top may be hard to get, but the foundation *while invisible to most eyes*, still deserve investigative research. the less you say? the better!

people don’t always expect performance but your behavior is what tells people the destination of your words.which is why we must perform! the unexpected wallowing wow is what guarantees the right now. live in it. breathe in it. listen to the moment, when the moment is yours. you are always going to be thinking in your mind. people will also take what they want to take from what you say.

to some degree, we all have selective hearing – hearing what we want to hear or at least what we wish to deal with. *using our utensils ever so gently cutting away the regenerative necessity  while savoring the fat.* those bits and pieces do make sense to the story in our head if even for a moment. when getting to the truth – we got to get through the lines.

the lines AIN’T ALWAYS EASY to uNdErStAnD which is why we *LIKE Jesus did* swirl with our fingers in the SaNd. while seemingly ignoring the accusers but actively writing N2 the gRoUnD. it appears as if there was no volume or SoUnD. EvEnTuAlLy n’ EsSeNtIaLlY – you arrive at the point where you dialectically challenge the ScReAMeR & that is not even the w0rSt : they will STILL command you to water their ThRiSt! we needn’t bow down in dIsTaStE regarding what others perceive as WaStE! if somebody got something to SaY? welcome them to your gallery, without dElAy! we all have all kinds of cool shit on our walls and CeIlING. enough to make them find aw3, introspection and even hEaLiNg! if they want to know the context behind the colors you choose to DiSpLaY alongside with the shapes that you decide to geometrically oUtWeIgH? if they are ever so curious, about your choice of FrAmInG and where the goal post to your composition is aImInG? may you spread down the red carpet of opportunity and when the cameras start flashing in their FaCE? sign their purchased copy of your embedded gRaCe! ! !

KNOWLEDGE BY FLOATING // MARSHMALLOW OF CONFUSION

for all that can be known – floating seems to be the only option when you’re in the sea of interrogatives. you’ll never land because there is no seat in the game of life. ain’t no couch or love seat. there is only ascension to go higher. when you start to read about the rules of the game, if you’re taking the game serious, you’ll be motivated to change your tactics and plan.

knowledge is a tool and one that is given to us freely if we open our hands. the state of knowing is a process, but it is what you do with the knowledge which transforms your state of being. the key to swimming is floating but to do this you must be comfortable with the water. i was afraid of water since childhood, because i had a few occasions where i nearly drowned. i would float on poor floatation devices and always landed in the water struggling for air.

it was Bruce Lee who said: “Be like water, my friend.” 

water flows and water goes // where? who knows! 

the idea of being settled in certainty can be very demanding. as water keeps going and flowing – an eternal destination can seem confining. it’s commonly accepted that knowledge is power, and power should be fun! superheroes are fascinating and appealing because of the special ability they have which transcends the barriers we are commonly subjected to. superheroes can fly. blast into a sudden telekinesis. become invisible for a spell.

this is power. power endowed to them with the strength to defeat whatever may come their way. yet, something this powerful can’t be taken too seriously. it must also be fun. although, when having too much fun, people tend to think you can’t possibly be serious as well. why is this? why can’t we have fun and maintain knowledge at the same time? when i found this new wave of knowledge of floating people started to think i lacked morals and principles. i’d constantly be told that people were praying for me because i lost my way.

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every school of thought has their own perimeters with their specific laws, uniforms, and ethics. even those who profess ‘free thought’ still seem to have a rubric about how free your thinking can go. as free as i believed myself to be – i still restrained myself and put on a different uniform of thought. how different can we be when we still borrow the same tools our ancestors have passed down to us? a change of course can appear as life changing if you never gave it much thought previously. 

Yet, the knowledge of something new doesn’t always guarantee that you’ll stay above the water. While we get out of one box, we place ourselves in another. i have now come to accept that it’s not that we don’t like boxes, we just prefer the boxes WE put ourselves in. If we’re comfortable and content that’s all that matters.

at least, up until the point when we thirst for something new and driven to irritability because it’s tew much!when you come to some uncongenial truths, everything slowly starts to change. This can be an uncomfortable truth. probably a bit more uncomfortable than the results that proved to be of the nature that you preferred.

to be misunderstood or even challenged doesn’t have to mean our demise. if we are all encrypted with a special combination of sorts – whose job is it to understand the key? how can a computer know which mode to follow if it did not make the individual choice to respond to the code already established? When you discover life is more nuanced and complex than you believed – you think of all the people you judged and made responsible through your ignorance and misinformation.

maybe they’re floating on a marshmallow cloud? when one can see what they once were – judgement tames like a saucer in the waters. floating because you’ve been filled WIDTH measures beyond what they can see!

while growing up, my grandmother always had a bag of marshmallows around the house. (just because she knew how much i loved them) i could eat a whole bag in a one setting. she taught me how to make rice crispy treats with them. i never quite gave up my fascination for the comfort of a marshmallow! i loved how soft and buoyant they were! they were comfortable and tasty. it’s the one of the only things we can eat that resembles a cloud. much like how marshmallows are capable of resonating with our humor. i crack myself up! nobody gets it but me usually. some say it’s my wit others just think i’m confused. when drawn to the absurd of reason – i find a mellow seat. confused only as it relates to knowledge and where i could potentially go…

 

here we are: resting on a marshmallow puff of confusion. a pretzel cloud resembling animalized reality and dystopian illusion…

At the heart of confusion tends to be a yearning for the heart to understand what created it in the first place. When you know, you take that knowledge and ultimately create a path towards understanding and then applying that said knowledge. But we already knew that as I’ve already repeated various things by only changing the dress. The tailor remains the same, but different kinds of fabrics, colors, accessories and details add a whole new approach. If already at this point it appears to have gotten redundant because of the same things being said differently – don’t wallow in your confusion. Eat a marshmallow by the fire and get comfortable. If there’s no fire, get comfortable wherever you see fit and allow this comfort to hit the acceptable target of your desires.

CLARITY // PUBLICISTS

The following script is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…’ which is due to release at the beginning of 2019. 

Yellow Journalist: Miss.Claire T! Miss.Claire T! Sorry to bother you, Miss.Claire T – But, did you want to take a moment and clarify what you meant in your last interview – you offended a lot of people by your statement.

Miss.Claire T: No, I want people to take whatever they’d like to take from it. It’s not up to me to change people’s minds about my own opinions. They will form their own opinions just the same regardless if I add clarity or not.

Yellow Journalist: You do realize that you offended a lot of people by your statement? People look up to you and respect you – especially children, you don’t feel a moral obligation to give clarity, where there is a clearly a need for one?

Miss.Claire T: Listen, people will believe what they want to. I also didn’t ask to be their role model. They connected to me because a familiar thing inside of me is inside of them. I can’t possibly know how they think or what they think – I said what I said because that’s how I felt at that moment. They are more than free to disagree but that has nothing to do with me. I don’t think a microscope should be on me just because it sounded absurd. Fuck what people wanna assume – take what I say with hot sauce or Mrs.Ddash! Season as you wish!

Yellow Journalist: Would this be an apology or way for you to have people make what they want to make out of it?

Miss.Claire T: Nah – I said what I said but that was then, and this is now. I don’t even remember what I said. I don’t have a plan – I just do whatever the situation calls for. My thoughts change, but no one would even know what I meant – if technology didn’t choose to record what I said, also context is missing – when you only highlight the clickbait that reaches everybody. So, it ain’t my fault but the media’s fault at large. Blame flat-bird!

Yellow Journalist: Sounds like you are blaming everyone except yourself here.

Miss.Claire T: Well who is the victim? The children? People and their assumptions? Or me and what I said at that time?

Yellow Journalist: I just want to know if you think differently about what you said?

Miss.Claire T: I feel differently about a lot of things. I suppose I can exercise more caution and not speak so much, but I fired my publicist cuz he was an asshole and he wanted me to say things I didn’t really believe. So, who’s the asshole? Me or him?

Yellow Journalist: Ummm? I’m not sure?

Miss.Claire T: You don’t honestly think we all think for ourselves, do you? You got to hire a team to do all that thinking. Until they start speaking for you, that’s when it can get out of hand, I chose to fire him and now I’m getting press just for speaking my own mind, ain’t that some shit? I suppose – I can offer a weak ass apology so that people go back to thinking how insincere I am for actually clarifying “It’s obviously NOT a one size fits all”. If you want me to tell you what you want to hear Mr.Yellow Journalist, you could have instead asked me “What do you wish to say to those who are offended / who would benefit from an apology that sounds sincere enough to them?”

To those people I wish to say:

I am so sorry if my words have offended you. I hope you know it’s not my intention to speak on things I know very little about. I recognize that children are so impressionable – people like myself must always respect and consider what we say. My words can easily be taken out of context and even though I really mean what I say, I don’t mean for you to be hurt. I wish for the world, clarity and above else understanding, so that people may have swaying views different from you and no one gives a damn. Life keeps going on! Seeing things differently doesn’t mean anyone is against you. And if they are, so what!? A disagreement breeds variation of perspective. Unless those disagreements and ideas are rooted in your disadvantage. I hope you can see how clarity makes a hell of a difference!

Yellow Journalist: Thank you for clarifying Miss Claire T!

Miss Claire T: Well, that’s my name which is the way of the game, ya dig?!

LINK // ERROR

The following script is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…’ which is due to release at the beginning of 2019. 

Inward: Yo, Zoomy!

Zoomy: Yes – Inward?

Inward: Did you get that link I sent you about the changes about to happen on the Internet?

Zoomy: I didn’t notice you sent me anything, when and where did you send it to me?

Inward: About a week ago – I sent it through flatbird.

Zoomy: Nah, I deleted flat bird on my phone – I prefer shookie instead! What was the link about?

Inward: It was a long article, but it really broke down the immediate changes that the Internet will face. The surveillance will expand. “They” will have more access to what you like and monitor what you don’t click. It’s very serious stuff and the article explained how we can’t do much about it. It’s a fascinating read!

Zoomy: I’d love to read that! If you can send it to my email, that would be better! I read my emails often. You know I’m old school! Social media is a drag and I get so many links from various people – I don’t always get time to read it all. I miss NewsPapers where you can read all the local and international news in one good setting. I love the idea of actually turning the page.

Inward: The Newspaper is a fun and classic way of knowing information, but you got to wait longer for it. Plus too much paper can be bad for the environment. I’m glad we can send things instantly inside of a matrix. The future is wireless, yo! I prefer links because of how they are in real time. I like to speed read on the go!

Zoomy: That’s cool but I prefer taking my time to read. I miss the days when you got a new record and you could just pop it on your stereo and sit down to listen to it in one sitting. It created an experience that made you pay more attention to the details. The same goes for reading, I don’t mind reading sometimes on the go but most of the time – people don’t click the full articles. They extrapolate as much as possible form one single headline. “Wife finds man cheating on her with his assistant” You’d think that would tell you all you need to know but if you click the article, you’d find a deeper meaning with the context that a headline just can’t offer. People just see the man cheated and goes throughout their day knowing yet again, men are trash – etc. It’s not the coolest way to learn information. A headline isn’t an article, but people just read it anyway. Everyone is sending links to each other and just want them to read it and respond. But most people don’t even keep up with it because something new happens every day.

Inward: Well, after all of that, I’m not sure if I’ll ever send you anything *laughs jokingly*

Zoomy: Feel free to send me anything you find useful. I prefer a good laugh and something informative though. I could care less about XYZ getting surgery or whom they decide to marry or sensational stories of celebrities. It’s fun to talk about in passing but that’s about it.

Inward: I find celebrities fascinating. I think they are the new gods of the modern time. We look up them. We believe in them. We hold them accountable.

Zoomy: I wish more people hold them accountable but usually people let them get away with anything when their PR teams offer a half-ass apology. Regardless, I could care less about their efforts in this life unless they are contributing to the advancement of society by offering their wealth as a loop for those who need it most.

Inward: Whether you care enough or not they hold so much power and being interested in some of their leisure activities don’t harm anyone.

Zoomy: It doesn’t benefit anyone really either. You only care as much as you want to.

Inward: Touché! But I met you through the internet and that link was as random as the article I sent you on Flatbird! So I’m gonna have to get shookie and send it to you!

Zoomy:Cool!

Asleep // Alarm

*The following script, is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…” which is due for release at the beginning of 2019.

Jagrati: WAKE UP!

Gramercy: Wait, for what? It’s only 7:00! I got a couple more zzz’s.

Jagrati: There’s a lot to do! Best start early – if you get up now, you won’t have to regret it later! Now Get up! The clock is ticking!

Gramercy: That’s just the thing tho. I didn’t set this alarm and my sleep time is set differently. I don’t respond by such algorithms and determinations. My body is still snuggled between the sheets and my brain is powered in a REM state, so I’ll keep on
resting.

Jagrati: How long shall you snooze me to your heart’s content? Will you ever be ready to face the sound or only when you decide to designate time?

Gramercy: *Clicks to snooze button*

Jagrati: *fades into slowly while progressively getting louDER!!!* Wake up! I’m the reminder of the time! I don’t aim to be embraced- just acknowledged.

Gramercy: Alright, now is the time. I’m ready but first I must get dressed for the day.

Jagrati: Therefore, you should set me early, so you have all proper time to get all your essentials done and out of the way with! By the time you finish eating your breakfast, beating your meat, and checking your phone – about an hour and a half has already passed! You only get so much time to handle your business. Start by following a specific pattern and be a disciple of this set discipline. You won’t regret it!

Gramercy: Then I’ll be like a robot always doing the same shit repeatedly.

Jagrati: Your entire species is built on the same ridiculous concept of existence. IT IS WHAT IT IS.

Gramercy: What about sleep? Don’t I deserve sleep?

Jagrati: Yes but no more than others do. You sleep too much which may be an indication of depression which is a very serious medical condition. You may not be depressed. You may just enjoy it very much because you dream every night. If the dream is more convincing than waking life – you are likely depressed.

Gramercy: So, because I love going to sleep and not waking up to you – I’m clinically depressed?

Jagrati: I said you may be depressed – I’m not saying you are. Seeing as you wake up late and snooze alarms whenever you see fit. I don’t see why you even bother to wake up whenever and ditch the idea of putting me on in the first place?

Gramercy: You’re right. I should just sleep and wake up whenever I feel like it. I don’t suppose setting the time makes a slight difference if I’m going to do what I want to do. *laughs inwardly*

Jagrati: Exactly, although you do realize that humans must have some sort of structure and order to their day otherwise everybody will be late. Which is why setting me up and abiding by my rule is better for everyone involved. After all, don’t you have something to do?

Gramercy: We all have something to do, I’m just not necessarily punctual about getting work done at a specific time. I have just accepted that I’m later to most things lol

Jagrati: You can simply blame it on the ailments of life, a schedule glitch, or the dreams that make you wanna sleep forever, it matters none. I’m here to help you get back on pace.

Gramercy: I’ll stay on sleeping, I’m tired of waking up all the time. Do you realize how paralyzing existence can be? All the bullshit and bills. It never stops and even if I wake up early to get my day started according to the system – the bullshit and bills will be waiting for me with open arms! I ain’t got the time for the dialogue. My sleep is my monologue and I refuse to be bothered by the semantics of the daily grind. I’m gonna keep on sleeping until forced to arrive at the conclusion- life is more than this.

Jagrati: The average human being sleeps about 1/3 of their life. Essentially 26 years of your life is spent sleeping…then you die. There’s no coming back when you clock out. So much to do, don’t you want to engage the various levels of the day?

Gramacy: *snores, zzzz, zzz*

Jagrati: I won’t ever shut up despite your snores!!!

*Fades while simultaneously snoring and alarm beeps*

Gramacy: !!Oh Shit, it’s 5:00 o’Clock!!!

 

August Feels Like Wednesday

You have waited long enough! Here is August Feels Like Wednesday in its entirety complete with narration served by, yours truly. August is almost over –  but you’ll always be able to feast on this throughout all time. It’s an album that covers a host of emotions. It’s better if you just listen and explore all of what this album entails! It’s only 33 minutes and 41 seconds if you want to hear the project complete with narration. The video on YouTube is cheesy and is therefore non-vegan. It’s cheesy because of narration! 😀

 

If you so wish to buy the album on BandCamp you can do that also! It’s only 7 dollars! This option is actually non-cheesy with no narration 😀

https://jestereye7x.bandcamp.com/

 

I want to thank everyone involved in this project! I love y’all so much! A special thanks to Mr.Ivory Snow for producing The Velvet Dinner, Engulfing Through, and The Yielding Sacrifice! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the colors and textures you added in making this project as cohesive and festive to the meaning I intended. You took your time with it and you did not disappoint! Your album Snow is one of the best albums of the year hands down! Everybody support real music by real musicians! He also happens to be a producer, arranger, and one man band and all that jazz! 😀

Jeremy Garner – The magician and musician – I’m so blessed to collaborate with! Thank you for adding your music on Sin, Splash Utopia, and Death Appearing Like An Orgasm! I am entirely blessed at your vision of arrangement and being an instrument allowing the music to talk! Your connection to my words have always created incredible music in such transcending ways! I looks forwards for recording more with you and seeing where your sounds will take you next!

Danny L’Amour – You remain a voice of blessing in my life. I love that we both share the connection of food too! This is why you were perfect for The Velvet Dinner!  I’ll always be thankful for your existence in my life! The pictures you took remind me of what can be known from a moment. Thank you for your voice and hand in everything you do!

There is somebody for everybody! Don’t worry – I got my own aluminum foil to carry if you did not bring it with you! 😀

 

A.T.S.S. (Gifs And Stats)

BACK TO YELLOW! 

I’ve remastered various videos and will have them re-released this month. The funny thing about this is that most people haven’t even seen these videos so they are basically new videos that have never seen the light of day. When I look back at the numbers of my content, I’m underwhelmed about how many people never ever watched them. 😀 That’s OK though, the internet always provides a room for you. Even if discovered years later! 😀

I asked my friend Unicole to write down her thoughts on Gifs and Stats and she did an incredible job conveying this message. Check out her message here!

Lemme show you what I learned. Hold up! See! Now according to this study – you can actually be wrong and right at different times.
Ain’t That Some Shit?!

When the unexpected becomes the reality beyond your ability to see it in the near distance. When it rains on your picnic! Ain’t That Some Shit?

The ones who were supposed loose, end up winning by a landslide! Ain’t That Some Shit?

The fitness trainer eating healthy decided to cut out meat and dairy but was still eating fatty snacks and sugary treats and end up having health problems because of it. Ain’t That Some Shit?

No matter how much you study and practice, if you don’t memorize the basics, you can still fail. Ain’t That Some Shit?

We live our life talking to one another unable to see ourselves, however, people can see us and what we look like. Ain’t That Some Shit?

By invalidating emotions but granting hardcore facts, we risk losing proper interpretations of both. Ain’t That Some Shit?

If you ever had to say “Ain’t That Some Shit” at any point, please share with me! 😀