in bed, within the inn – i then go,
soft peddles of a perfumed floral ring
‘a rose’ in me : the call of a bee sting.
entwined in clusters of blue and carpenter’s wood
remains flames of extravagance, shouldering between transgression and what’s expected to be good
at the cocktail’s hour, happy itself – extends into the pour of a whisky sour!
within this writing – i’m inciting : levels of tiny pebbles !
stuck inside the shoe, solving this dilemma is merely paying attention to the clue!
the case of this face is myriad but fallen short of obscene …
when the sense became non – i become a breathless yawn.
quivering into the distant soft tissue, as my tears are signatures of issues.
ranging from emotional neglect and tortured trauma!
but confessions of repentance have been absolved through the teachings of the holy mama! (yes mary, oh contrary!)
i’m kept close by the face of an perplexing ace!
while going through this crisis of
energy – is not at all unexpected …
yet: it does appear suspected
as so much can be said…………..
i’ll pause where my whispers swallow
the voice inside, is a guide to which i follow
the fiction of the white
just might: speak way too soon…..
months of turning pages to the crescent & whole moon
awaiting colors, glisten serene
and while the contradictions long to be seen….
dialectically & eclectically : to those that suggest otherwise,
by the sight of their reading eyes? lines indeed, align and surprise!
while : in bed, within the inn – i then know, embedded indigo!
I originally conceptualized the title “embedded indigo” after gathering all of my close friends at Benihana’s in Chanhassen Minnesota! I remember I worked at Mall of America at the time, and TrevorGuy called me around the time, I was leaving work. “Prince is having a music video dress rehearsal for Judith Hill with Eric Leeds, tonight at Paisley Park and you’re invited to bring in a couple of folks. Details forthcoming. Are you down?” “Absolutely, I’ll let my folks know!” I was absolutely ecstatic about going to Paisley Park and to add to that : A music video with two of my favorite musical artists!? I told the ‘True Blues’ (y’all know who you are!) AND we were all excited to be there!
For added context: I had only been to Minnesota 3 months at this point and things were already picking up, as only 2 days ago from this point I got 3 messages that a private party : was happening at Paisley Park and me and my friends had been invited to Paisley! If y’all want a run down of what happened you can watch that here! https://youtu.be/zSQWWAwRWgg
BACK TO BENIHANA’S! So we are all there awaiting what’s the scoop! everybody’s asking me, what’s about to happen!? Obviously I would know right? Well no. Prince never gave any information about what was about to happen, he just told you to prepare and that I did. It was at least 21 of us and none of us did not know what would happen. We were all sharing Prince stories and all guessing all what could go down. Clearly, we were all decked in our finest of clothes. I do remember having blue on at the time.
Suddenly : I get a call from TrevorGuy.
ALL eyes are suddenly on me as my ringer is on and I knew it was the call, we’d all be waiting for. I briskly brushed off into a quiet space, leaving them all in lingering anticipation.
I get back to the phone and hear :
“hey, sorry. Prince is not going to do it tonight. some things came up. sorry, will be in contact soon. peace.”
ALL I felt inside was blue. A deep blue. So deeply on me it felt like a deep url code. not just any kind of blue but a mood indigo like Duke Ellington spoke about. It wasn’t necessarily sadness though, just like someone dipped in a ocean of reflection. How was I going to tell everybody it wasn’t happening!? I remember thinking about dreading the walk of shame back to everyone awaiting what would be the next move.
Soon as i came back to the fold, my head shaking in every direction : everyone knew and we all laughed it off. in fact the rest of the night was spent with many other folks who had been to Paisley throughout the years when this was a common occurrence!
“Oh you mean, driving out in the middle of nowhere before there was ‘modern construction’ because you were told there was a paisley park party at -35 degrees and when he leaves you outside for like 3 hours and then decides at the last minute, nah.” Hahaha
Prince. His way about things were not linear. All throughout the night, I can’t say I was really feeling blue as in sad tho. I was very much energized throughout the laughter that ensued & with good eating though we were not a part of the experience. In many ways this is how I feel about Prince and the anniversaries of his ‘transcendence.’ Which is today. There is no real sadness only memories of joy when listening to the “flames of extravagance” that is Prince.
In many ways it all feels like a parallel vortex when this time comes around, a familiar whisper in the shadows. Whispering deeply, but a jovial memorial indigo.