SeasonaL DepressioN

seasonal depression
is in session
the calamity is sizzling in the booth
like a rotten and spoiled tooth
cold to the touch
ailments swollen & such
formation takes a scolding seat
malnourished and empty is the street
past is left open like a twisted rope
barefoot in journey seeking hope
while summoned to the river
naked and exposed, there i stood in a shiver
like the roots planted next to me
engulfed by the wind and tree
before i knew it, i jumped
with my flesh slumped
inside the cold water
an underground battle became a deep slaughter
pierced by the freeze
shaken by blistering leaves
i’ve fallen and only desire sleep
though these waves thrust me deep
and my dreams creep
remnants remain floating at the top
the lighthouse flickers as though it may stop
with the shine on the line
and my mind crossed yet another time
for this reason
i wish this season to be dismissed
as i drown remiss…

HAHANHEHE-MF*

if you gonna be a HA HA N HEE HEE MF

make sure you reach with the same depth – which called you, when you entered the deep. when you yelled and screamed at the obscene in your dreams!

MOVE FURTHER

OR ELSE YOU DON’T KNOW SH*T!

you can’t even understand the breath of CONVERSATION.

much less – recognize the different kinds of tracks at the STATION.

you don’t know sh*t.

not all trains are on the same TRACK!

especially since some go forward while others go BACK.

you don’t know sh*t.

before you even listen to what has been said, you didn’t even allow yourself to be FED.

you don’t know sh*t.

FED: THE KNOWLEDGE & INFORMATION NECESSARY TO FORM TECHNIQUE! A SH*T TALKER RELIES ON REACTIONS THAT ARE WEAK.

yeah, you don’t really know sh*t.

yet you think – you know it ALL.

(whispers)

(don’t know sh*t)

yet you: justify your anger for an immediate FALL.

(don’t know sh*t)

yet you: believe you are thinking with your MIND.

(don’t know sh*t)

yet you: are walking BLIND.

(don’t know sh*t)

yet you: camouflage the parts of you – that are ME.

(don’t know sh*t)

this only means we can’t SEE.

HAHA N HEE HE = MOVE FURTHER *

TO ACTIVATE AND DIALECTICALLY ENGAGE WITH MATERIALS- ENABLING AN EVER EXPANDING CONSCIOUSNESS! it’s time to shop for more essentials. how else are we gonna grow? + whose gonna bite off from expired bread and drink the spoiled and chunky milk?
“if you gonna be a HA HA N HEE HEE MF – move further and challenge complicit behavior encouraged by the silence of your laugher. MOVE FURTHER, MOTHER FUCKER!

We have to get there by the silence of our tears. Sadness is a friend of ours. we don’t talk much to our tears as often but we’re gonna have to start inviting those tears to have a stronger communication to us. These tears tell a story that must be heard by the memories that we wanted to bury inside. Our head seeks refuge in the regurgitation of discs that have been scratched. Remembering is a hard deal because life is revived in those sad experiences. Our company is fragile throughout these confrontations. In our youth, we are unaware of the effects it would have on us. Today is payday. Every day we look into the eyes of trauma, we’re coughed with responsibility. we’re paying the toll. It’s worth the investment but we’re not held in any debt. Underneath all of the sadness and anger // unspoken trauma lingers in a dark place.

i’d say one thing we can do as brothers is ALWAYS call out every foul thing we see our brothers do / say. there’s an awful lot of complicity. it’s hidden and a lot of it is either laughed off or justified behind our acceptance of that person. we should discontinue the idea that we need to be told what can we do – when it seems obvious. every appearance of misguided complicity has to be faced for what it is. we have to be willing to really look at ourselves and be willing to hold ourselves and others accountable.

P L A N T I N U M ZOO

corporations and OLIGARCHS.
disperse @ the government’s HILL.
begging for a bailout?
STILL!
what was invested is now at a LOST.
dows plummeting, stocks crashing, and all concern for workers – TOSSED!
without a people capable and allowed to SHOP.
their wrecking ball is doomed to fall with a boiling DROP.
gluttons like these – thrive off of protecting the interests of those belonging to the CLUB.
touching any and every surface, our hands should be joined with soap and water in a constant 34 second SCRUB!
to get rid of all of the filth, and germ that comes from their multi-faceted LIE!
they don’t represent the people but they do want us to BUY AND BUY!
this is merely corporatism featured on a marquee of cartoon sciolism!
knowledge like this, proves sluggish and SUPERFICIAL.
for it dares not to concern itself on any matter outside of the profit JUDICIAL.

(profits over people! profits over people! profits over people!) {is the message they exclaim}

the “leaders of the free world” – attempts not, to remind people of this freedom.
instead they downplay the circumstance of real time desperation!
didn’t you hear them say – business as usual in 14 days?!
WE GOT TO GET BACK ROLLING!
TV RATINGS AND CENSUS NUMBERS ARE STILL POLLING!
THE DICE IS ON ICE !
THRILLS FOR THE BILLS!
HONEY BUT WITHOUT THE MONEY!
MARKETS MAY BE CRASHING, BUT THEY WANT YOUR LABOR TO BE LASHING, AND STEADILY CASHING!
they dump billions and trillions for leisure SPORT!
the team-mates, janitors, and audience don’t even own a stake in the COURT!
these frauds deal with mafia stained HANDS!
they handle not with care but with a germ BANDS!
by signing into law – flame throwing missiles dripped in sanctions – it’s all TERRIBLE!
while remaining grotesque, fallacious, and absurd – I could only wish this was a J.C. PARABLE!
ha, but alas – two factions of one party – operating together to protect the business CLASS!!
they’ve already kicked some serious ASS!
& they don’t FLINCH an INCH to give anyone a basic safety NET!
to them we are the captured ones and are the real THREAT!
to them: we are the animals in the PEN!
except, this pen has no PAPER!
no windows, ink, or VAPOR!
do you happen to need GAS?
Well, I’m pretty sure the government will PASS!
for they only give us the CRUMBS!
they acknowledge not the ghettos or SLUMS!
with a thick boot cuffed against our NECKS!
they scoff at the idea of cutting anyone CHECKS!
which forces many to scramble and HAUNT!
this will leave many famished, desperate and GAUNT!
this liquid is clogged and chunky, unwilling to STRAIN.
now the people are forced to rally against the GRAIN!
only to return back to empty grocery AISLES!
remembering and never forgetting the SMILES, which where traded in, for lengthy troublesome MILES!
for we are dealing with misfortune and a HEADACHE!
some of us are coughing and can’t catch a BREAK!
tv propaganda paired with real time DANGER AND PANIC!
the ghost of misery has formed into an animalized MANIC!
we are witnessing a unprecedented MONSTROSITY!
we’ve welcomed a world of new and furloughed PAUCITY!
now we’re all trapped SHUT!
I for one am looking to burn down the empire of the GLUT!
although, locked in a CAGE!
featuring bird mentality and all the RAGE,
As for the red, white, and BLUE?
didn’t you get the CLUE?!
HAHA – this is a PLATINUM ZOO !

Pursuit // Pleasure

*The following script, is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…” which is due for release at the beginning of 2019.

Palmar: Hey, have you tried the new app Fructose that allows you to explore the depths of glucose?

Allegra: Ah! Yes! It’s so good. Every time I think I should put it down – it proves me to be a liar because I can’t let it go. It’s like that chip you keep coming back too and the lemonade your grandmother makes! It’s just addictive like crack, honestly! lol!

Palmar: That’s what I heard and probably precisely why I ain’t trying to give it a go. I don’t want to do anything that makes me a slave to it.

Allegra: Who claimed you’d be a slave to it?

Palmar: Well, you mentioned crack and grandma’s lemonade…I’d say it’s quite powerful. Powerful enough to be the master of your senses. If it makes you a liar that means you can’t contest it.

Allegra: I never tried to contest it because I enjoy indulging it so much.

Palmar: Have you tried to abstain from it to see how your body would react to it?

Allegra: I ain’t trying to break away from it because I worry I might be dependent on it and you know the body develops dependence to some substances. If an alcoholic goes cold turkey it could literally kill them because they abused it for so long.

Palmar: So, would you say you abuse fructose?

Allegra: I suppose, I do. But we all abuse various things in life – I don’t think it’s a big deal.

Palmar: If you don’t want to live long and develop various diseases – you do have a point.

Allegra: Yeah but I don’t see why you are making it seem as if pursuing pleasure is a bad thing, we all have our various vices.

Palmar: You know what they say: Everything in moderation. If you feel you can’t resist fructose you might to want to start cutting it out one day at a time. Cold turkey might not be the best alternative but slowly breaking away from your addiction secures a better future for your mental and physical health.

Allegra: But I like fructose, why break away from what I like?

Palmar: Not all vices are remedies to the consequences that come from them.

Allegra: Ok. Well, I’m going to do me, and you can do you.

Palmar: So, are you saying you rather continue to head down a cycle of abuse because this is YOU right now?

Allegra: All I said is I’ll do me, and you will do you. I never asked you to lecture me about the dangers of fructose. I am aware of how bad it could be. However, as with anything they’re loopholes.

Palmar: I reckon those loopholes are very few.

Allegra: So, are you going to interrogate me about this from this day forth? Are you going to continually remind me how I’m killing myself and recommend me articles and links to help me get better or what? Do you think most obese and overweight people know they are or should they be constantly reminded of this fact?

Palmar: Healthy reminders shouldn’t be triggers.

Allegra: But they shouldn’t reinforce a sense of evangelism either. You can say what you need without judging me for it or educating me on something that I already know about. Some of us are on our way dying and can’t be convinced to change their habits. (Maybe they want to die or don’t care much for changing) No need to put me through an intervention. If I was on my death bed and I wanted to try LSD would you refuse me of that? Would you tell someone who is already dying that they should take proper steps to ensure they live longer? For what purpose? I don’t have children or a partner depending on my life.

Palmar: So, if you had children or a partner – that wouldn’t compel you to live longer?

Allegra: I’m not totally sure. That’s not why I do what I do. I have plenty of friends including yourself that may want the best for me. I just want you to know I understand the risks and if experience leads me to make a remarkable change then I’ll oblige but for now, I’ll enjoy my fructose but take more consideration to moderation.

Palmar: That’s good, I’m happy to hear that.

Allegra: I hope you live long and stay clear from the range of accidents! You know you never know when they may happen. *chuckles*

Luck & Pray

There’s never one way of praying because prayer is meditative.

Prayer is communication.

We’re all praying whether we give someone: Blessings! Good Vibes! & Best of luck!

Whenever you assure somebody that they got this! When you’re praying for someone – you’re sending out love or at the very least – The best of what can be for them.

Prayer is the hope that your situation can improve. It’s the vibration of a positive evolution to your current state of affairs – It’s a push of optimism without the guarantee that things will develop for the best but a prayerful insight reaches for compassion.

Praying for someone is putting someone in your hearts nest – holding them in your intention like a lover would secure their love in a protective intensity.

Prayer is the indication that some thoughts are reserved just for your benefit and comfort – and with this energy of positivity may every prayer see you through.

*I wrote this for my homie Mr. Ivory Snow – who put this on his latest album Snow. It’s a song about prayer. He produced all the music and finished the album in two weeks! Talk about inspiration!

Hate & Chance

What is Hate? Well, hate is given to someone who has shown themselves uninterested in changing. Hate is an itch that must be scratched. Hate is when irresponsible to the ethics of morality (or what is seen as good).

We feel ‘hatred’ often when we are slightly inconvenienced. (It ain’t about you all the time motherfucka) But – It’s a valid feeling when it comes around. It’s almost as sweet as revenge. The passion that comes with hatred can be delightful. It would be like sticking your hands in a pack of skittles and consistently getting red, green, and peach colors. That tropical blend is an exquisite taste and so is hate on occasion! 😀

Hate is a plague and we redeem our connection to it, by divorcing it from our consciousness. Love doesn’t work with someone who can’t understand the language of love. I suppose it can but then it’s transformed into something else. Speaking to someone in riddles only works if they have lunch with the Oracle. Otherwise, riddles and witticisms may come across as nonsensical to others. (Which by then Willy Wonka should have already reminded you – that everyone who buys a ticket, WINS: Although it may not be golden – the chocolate is still good to eat!)

Love makes rooms to sympathize that some are in error and others wish to recover that which has steered off its path. If by chance hate and love work together it is through the fashion like manner of love. Love can be worn on messy bodies – but if you musty, you shouldn’t try on clean clothes. It’s better to wash clean from dirt before wearing new fabrics.

If by chance hate and love can work together – it is through the awareness of harmonic convergence. When the lights gamble with darkness. Either one of them will win at different times.
The chances that hate is seen as love are few in which case, by then…

Written days ago but upon the motion of right now – a sadness breeds reflection and resolution.

33X7

Today is the 33rd week of 2017.

It’s never about the arrival but the journey to get to where you are going. Enter in without looking back at who’s looking at you. If you wanna get to the nerve of all the flashes and distorted lights – it takes pure objectivity.

Objectivity can’t be reached if you are only listening to the side you most agree with. Truth can’t be exclusive to whose mouth you favor the most. Whatever you fancy can’t be the only tailor of spirit. If the ‘fit’ is too tight around the waist – make some noise. The purpose of a tailor is to make sure you’re fitted and good to go.

Communicate honestly cuz if there’s anybody deserving of small talk – your tailor is a good bet. The more clearly you represent with what you want the more likely you’ll find what you intend for. What’s the point in lying about your size or pinching details to your tailor?

Notwithstanding our fundamental senses of Sight, Taste, Touch, Hearing, and Smell. Our sense of smell never gives us any warning. You can be in the middle of an engaging conversation until…*SWIFT! What the hell was that smell?* We aren’t as lucky as dogs whose sense of smell is much more stronger than ours. (1,000 to 10,000 times than ours)

*You got to let people have their moment. Stay in silence and just breathe in your own frame.* Again, the nose never invites you, tho. “You can listen without the burning urgent NEED to interject – Jesse!” Learning to do this when I smell bullshit. Again, your nose never warns you.

We live in a time now, where the path to objectivity is rarely seen as a fundamental component to analyzing truth. So many fingers are pointed where we forget about the Whole Fist for establishing the truth. We should be more curious, more willing to dismantle what we’ve been told, and more prone to using the Scientific Method. We have the tools right at our disposal to measure and calculate.

There’s a lot we don’t know but there’s also a wealth of things we can find out through The Scientific Method.

Human beings often find comfort in the usual and mundane. Which means predictable passages of a time don’t freak us out so much, things just float that way cuz they can. Until a new wave comes along.

If getting loose means getting lost, we often will run away from this idea. We want to be found and have a place of refuge not get lost in the unknown.

For in the parable of Y – there is only the search to find X. That’s what I want to know – why. Why do you believe this and what has brought you to this conclusion? When you walk the line straight and carefully were you afraid of falling? Who told you to believe and when you observe the world around you – do you think of those who taught you?

Ask yourself, what if I’m wrong about this? *I have to do this several times* Once you ask a question – study why people believe it. You observe and do the math on your own. You got to do your own math and accept the facts as they present themselves.

I’ve entertained the possibilities for so long until I ran out of adrenaline. Some theories are just flat regardless if the proof is circular. THE EARTH IS NOT FLAT, no matter how many people believe this. They are all wrong because their premise denies verified science.

“If you wanna keep things real you got to play it by how things are.”

Truth keeps on expanding – ever and ever through 33 realms. We are seeking to get there through ever expanding perception.