IN WHY SEE? WILDCARD!

110719 IYCWC

7 letters…

N E W Y O R K

i’ve been looking to find the words to describe my trip to NYC. this was my first trip there and i knew before i arrived – i wouldn’t see half of it. (much less a slither of what it offers) there’s so much HISTORY – so much i presumptively imagined MYSTERY, would be hard to find. this couldn’t be further from reality; as i still long, to unlock the gritty sensation that makes up this BIG CITY! 

for starters: IT’S AN ISLAND! surrounded by water. as my plane landed – i couldn’t help but marvel at all of the water this metropolis is engulfed by. many have spoken about the skyscrapers, lights, subways, people and RATS! (shout out to the whale like rat which ran in front of me and my friend!) if i could try to describe this elemental sensation of feeling, it would be in a series of acronyms. all of them representing each selection and detail of the here, now, and soon. 

most of the time when you tell people you’re going to NYC – people wanna know WHY?! you’re repetitively reminded of how EXPENSIVE IT IS! (& that’s not a lie) how it’s dirty. The Pickpocketing! how it’s being GENTRIFIED (which is absolutely the case) and many other crucial aspects to consider when traveling there or much less – if you wish to live there. What seems to be the case is that the NYC of today is nothing like it use to be. i considered all of this into focus before traveling. i didn’t want any surprises but at the same time, i expected this experience to completely invigorate my prospects….AND THAT IT DID.

i didn’t nearly see as much as i wanted but i did get to meet and spend time with some of my favorite people. as a content creator, i’ve been blessed to meet people from all over the world. many of which connect to me via my youtube videos, blog posts, and other related media i’ve made throughout the years. i barely make the ‘000’s threshold. despite this, somebody somewhere saw whatever it was. reached out. conversation was had and the lost was then FOUND. thank you all for following along! ❤

like a recipe to a delicious meal – you can count on faithful mesmerization. you know it’s gonna be good when you register with the ingredients. (POPEYES CHICKEN SANDWICH MAKE NOISE!) Sam took this quick video as I bit into the goodness. 😀

with anxiousness leading into me the next – i am sitting at the table with various cards – one of which is a…IMG_7490

SOMETHING ABSOLUTELY INSANE. (IN THE MEMBRANE) INSANE IN THE BRAIN~! i feel we are at the cusp of a significant eclipse. We are always at the dawn of something. i’ve been asking people lately, if you could name this chapter in your life, what would suffice? 

MANY words may come to mind or maybe none at all? we are in this wrestle of noise and silence and we are guided by either the impulse to remain or shatter the dishes. 

the awareness of seasonal depression is one that knocks loudly when you feel november walking hands with gusty winds. if not provided a temporary temple against such typhoons – the measure of your outfit is better DECKED with layers, scarves, beanies, gloves, AND ALL DAT! The seasons do indeed change and so must our attitude around this fact.

*SELAH*

All of us are dealing with a lot at the moment. we’re all spinning in life’s web // trying to figure it out. traveling can help expand your perception about how small our bubble is. we can always go DEEPER and HARDER (of course that comes with the upkeep of such energy) as it would seem – the world is not simple to understand, though complex, there is still the ability to search.

if we do not take such leaps and risks, we often fall prey to the usual command of the cycle. i am identifying with the ways i have become stagnant. (the lounge chair and all) it’s very easy for all of us to do. especially when your approach to life is sort of like the wind. there will always remain rules in the universe but the wise one knows when to break them or to reimagine them, in ways which best serves the situation. 

So many thunderstorms lay hostage in my mind and i’m only now breaking them free.(writing down thunderstorms means knowing also which eye of the storm is worth the explanation.) as I gaze out the window of my solitude – i find strength in writing down miscellaneous items that should be fulfilled.

whether, we are praying or actually writing a list down  – a request for improved outcomes is never dire. it can be very hard and challenging to look and examine our failures because it then creates a space of introspection. AND WHO WANTS TO SEE IN FULL FORCE A REFLECTION OF RANDOMIZED REALITY?

*Ever take a photo of yourself on accident only to find out how you really look at random seconds* 

headass
headass

NYC revealed to me that everyday can be a wildcard. every moment is a choice to imagine and fulfill. the scratch continues to inform the reason – what is the source of this irritation? can we be tongue tied with reason and delusional thinking all at once? What better pathway to clarity than a series of questions and guesses?

i’m finding my voice while still lounging in a marshmallow chair. The fight to keep it going and to just let things fall as they go is a CONSTANT BATTLE. when you see how things are // how they can be // how they were // how they feel now – the rabbit hole continues…

faded shades of multi-colored attempts and possibilities that never made it down the runway. clothes just hanging in the closet waiting to be worn for the right occasion. yet, the occasion never comes because you are waiting for it instead of just stepping into the wildcard.

here is where it gets even more challenging – the reality of failure can cause extreme lost.

but now i’m at a point where i crave deduction. i believe somethings should be lost and exempt. when examining everything we receive on the constant bases – sure some things would benefit being off the menu. By losing, we are gaining the space to acquire more. carrying too much means losing the energy to do anything with what you got.

i know now that my ramble has opened a different scene – I have escaped in a place I like to deem the random collisions of thought. (mental craze!) i am in a visible crossroads. a place where colors and shapes have had more voice than literal words. only now, these words must come to life and find motion in the physical.

imagination gives birth to ever changing scenarios. additions and deductions are a part of the cycle – the words continue and the pen never runs out.

READY OR NOT = it is coming. i don’t know what ‘IT’ may be to you but it’s coming. a confirming realization that speaks with no words only silent affirmation. like a head nodding to a beat that’s beating on the 2n4. it’s closer – by saying yes to the wildcard of selection. we are placed in a position to connect with the variations of outcome and proceed accordingly.

Asleep // Alarm

*The following script, is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…” which is due for release at the beginning of 2019.

Jagrati: WAKE UP!

Gramercy: Wait, for what? It’s only 7:00! I got a couple more zzz’s.

Jagrati: There’s a lot to do! Best start early – if you get up now, you won’t have to regret it later! Now Get up! The clock is ticking!

Gramercy: That’s just the thing tho. I didn’t set this alarm and my sleep time is set differently. I don’t respond by such algorithms and determinations. My body is still snuggled between the sheets and my brain is powered in a REM state, so I’ll keep on
resting.

Jagrati: How long shall you snooze me to your heart’s content? Will you ever be ready to face the sound or only when you decide to designate time?

Gramercy: *Clicks to snooze button*

Jagrati: *fades into slowly while progressively getting louDER!!!* Wake up! I’m the reminder of the time! I don’t aim to be embraced- just acknowledged.

Gramercy: Alright, now is the time. I’m ready but first I must get dressed for the day.

Jagrati: Therefore, you should set me early, so you have all proper time to get all your essentials done and out of the way with! By the time you finish eating your breakfast, beating your meat, and checking your phone – about an hour and a half has already passed! You only get so much time to handle your business. Start by following a specific pattern and be a disciple of this set discipline. You won’t regret it!

Gramercy: Then I’ll be like a robot always doing the same shit repeatedly.

Jagrati: Your entire species is built on the same ridiculous concept of existence. IT IS WHAT IT IS.

Gramercy: What about sleep? Don’t I deserve sleep?

Jagrati: Yes but no more than others do. You sleep too much which may be an indication of depression which is a very serious medical condition. You may not be depressed. You may just enjoy it very much because you dream every night. If the dream is more convincing than waking life – you are likely depressed.

Gramercy: So, because I love going to sleep and not waking up to you – I’m clinically depressed?

Jagrati: I said you may be depressed – I’m not saying you are. Seeing as you wake up late and snooze alarms whenever you see fit. I don’t see why you even bother to wake up whenever and ditch the idea of putting me on in the first place?

Gramercy: You’re right. I should just sleep and wake up whenever I feel like it. I don’t suppose setting the time makes a slight difference if I’m going to do what I want to do. *laughs inwardly*

Jagrati: Exactly, although you do realize that humans must have some sort of structure and order to their day otherwise everybody will be late. Which is why setting me up and abiding by my rule is better for everyone involved. After all, don’t you have something to do?

Gramercy: We all have something to do, I’m just not necessarily punctual about getting work done at a specific time. I have just accepted that I’m later to most things lol

Jagrati: You can simply blame it on the ailments of life, a schedule glitch, or the dreams that make you wanna sleep forever, it matters none. I’m here to help you get back on pace.

Gramercy: I’ll stay on sleeping, I’m tired of waking up all the time. Do you realize how paralyzing existence can be? All the bullshit and bills. It never stops and even if I wake up early to get my day started according to the system – the bullshit and bills will be waiting for me with open arms! I ain’t got the time for the dialogue. My sleep is my monologue and I refuse to be bothered by the semantics of the daily grind. I’m gonna keep on sleeping until forced to arrive at the conclusion- life is more than this.

Jagrati: The average human being sleeps about 1/3 of their life. Essentially 26 years of your life is spent sleeping…then you die. There’s no coming back when you clock out. So much to do, don’t you want to engage the various levels of the day?

Gramacy: *snores, zzzz, zzz*

Jagrati: I won’t ever shut up despite your snores!!!

*Fades while simultaneously snoring and alarm beeps*

Gramacy: !!Oh Shit, it’s 5:00 o’Clock!!!

 

A.T.S.S. (Gifs And Stats)

BACK TO YELLOW! 

I’ve remastered various videos and will have them re-released this month. The funny thing about this is that most people haven’t even seen these videos so they are basically new videos that have never seen the light of day. When I look back at the numbers of my content, I’m underwhelmed about how many people never ever watched them. 😀 That’s OK though, the internet always provides a room for you. Even if discovered years later! 😀

I asked my friend Unicole to write down her thoughts on Gifs and Stats and she did an incredible job conveying this message. Check out her message here!

Lemme show you what I learned. Hold up! See! Now according to this study – you can actually be wrong and right at different times.
Ain’t That Some Shit?!

When the unexpected becomes the reality beyond your ability to see it in the near distance. When it rains on your picnic! Ain’t That Some Shit?

The ones who were supposed loose, end up winning by a landslide! Ain’t That Some Shit?

The fitness trainer eating healthy decided to cut out meat and dairy but was still eating fatty snacks and sugary treats and end up having health problems because of it. Ain’t That Some Shit?

No matter how much you study and practice, if you don’t memorize the basics, you can still fail. Ain’t That Some Shit?

We live our life talking to one another unable to see ourselves, however, people can see us and what we look like. Ain’t That Some Shit?

By invalidating emotions but granting hardcore facts, we risk losing proper interpretations of both. Ain’t That Some Shit?

If you ever had to say “Ain’t That Some Shit” at any point, please share with me! 😀