seeking…(Like A Lake)

the things i wished to do, i no longer care for
the places i wanted to travel, i can’t see as reasonable any more
is it because the covid numbers are spiking up?
or the doors which refuse me by slamming shut?

i wanna cry but don’t know why
i’m blanked in space
trying to rectify my face
i’m feeling numb, sad, and displaced
feeling alone in a ‘home’ that does not belong to me
wishing to paint with lens carefully and responsibly

while, cutting off those thrills which made it easy on my heart
i rather now be torn apart
by the very thing that’s eating me inside
it’s unnamed, unable to be framed, and thrives by the constant rain
that is to say : my crying tears are attempting to unmask my fears

although: stuck in a rut of staggering associations
befuddled by contradictory operations
seeking for a friend, but instead suddenly briefed by an online stranger that this too will soon end

without a sight to see what’s really wrong
or a voice to sing in harmonic song
having the very least, while the beast inside still demands a feast!
consuming everything at the dinner table
so that the unbelievable can be told as a fable

“did you see them eating all that cake? filling their stomach like algae would a lake! they probably wouldn’t feel that way – if they were the ones who had to make, all of which would soon be left to take!”

but: it’s a lot different when you’re behind an emotional wheel seeking to safely heal
& when the transportation to feel is left to squeal

if grief had a thief, would it take like a lake? or would it restore in its proper place : salty to fresh waters which trace back to grace?

Some Smiles

‪Some smiles light a fire that you didn’t know you had burning inside.

Those flames come to pull you from a place you can no longer hide.

The moment you came out to play – your spirit was instantly burned to ash.

You were not paying attention to the road, thus inevitably inviting a crash.

If only you had purchased insurance to save you from this COSTLY dread.

When looking for the needle, you brushed up against the soft thread.

so, no worries about the glass that has just fallen onto the hard surfaced floor.

Lightning travels faster than sound – the burst of surprise seems to always even the score.

You can arise out of the swampy gloom!

Or maybe stay in the dark corners and explore the haunted tomb?

“For as prismatic radiance walks up the stairs, to decorate a room loaded with white paint.

Think not of the colors which will remain or those that will taint.

The smile of this light redistributes energy, previously unbeknown to me.

For now the twinkle in your eyes has flourished the withering tree.

Forever I see, the reasons that smiles have come to be!

“For the smile of your love is guided by an abstract and randomized beat.
Now the stars can’t help but smile as your illumination has given them a front-row seat!”

Dedicated to all of those near and far who have recently given me another reason to smile. Some smiles travel miles in illuminating styles! 🙂

Choices – Nikki Giovanni

File Mar 21, 2 09 02 PM.jpeg

Poetry unlocks the romance of words joined with a window through innuendo. Crescendo or more – there is a triple sensation of heaven by the third dimension. As far as I’m able to travel // I’m rallying the rope with a firm grip by the symbol of illustration. Words become more like a character when joined with setting and power of delivery. In poetry living in the parenthesis is safer than living by the literal lines. So, what I’m saying is inside the innuendo of the said text. Thanks to poetry -it may seem invisible // completely faded from the picture, but actually – it’s in the background hidden as an extra. They’ll get it on the way back home. Like a dream, being reminded that what they saw in intense observation was recorded by a poetic lens.

In honor of #WorldPoetryDay // One of my favorites by Nikki Giovanni – Choices. This one feels like water streaming down to my esophagus into my belly. It fills me with complete compatibility and parallel syncopation. It eases the quest, if only for a little while. Thank you, Nikki!

The Time Keeper (See Where You Are)

I just finished watching ‘The Time Keeper’ by Mitch Albom!

 

It’s a book with massive critical acclaim and for good reasons!

I won’t indulge each and every passage that enveloped the story but my abbreviations are heavy with a sense of parallel discovery.

 

Right after, I finished reading the book immediately as I went to lay, the song ‘See Where You Are’ by Amel Larrieux stormed within my heart. The lyrics speak of exactly,  what the book manages to explore.

Image

“It’s zippin by
Like speed of light
Or draggin painfully slow
It’s not enough
Or just too much
Either way it’s gonna go”

TIME, what truly is it all about? I’ve written very much about time, the paradox of its nature, the believability that it is given. While reading the book, what I managed to enjoy are those random slices of revelation! Mitch, often dropped knowledge as a poetry entrance, to concur with the setting of what he talked spoke about! I started to read the book backward, but I’ll manage to now quote some of my favorite slices from end to the beginning.

 

 

“Everything man does today to be efficient, to fill the hour? It does not satisfy. It only makes him hungry to do more. Man wants to own his existence. But no one owns time”

 

 

“With endless time, nothing is special. With no loss sacrifice, we can’t appreciate what we have.”

 

 

“When we’re most alone is when we embrace another loneliness / But…Hurting ourselves to inflict pain on others is just another cry to be loved”

 

“Einstein once postulated that if you traveled at an enormous rate of speed, time would actually slow down relative to the world you left behind, so that seeing that future without aging alongside it was, at least theoretically possible.

 

“He did not know that the child who asked for yesterday was now seeking to own tomorrow”

 

“But a man who can take anything will find most things unsatisfying. And a man without memories is just a shell.

 

 

“In this world, he heard a constant hum, as if a hundred sounds were being mashed into one note. He didn’t yet know this was the sound of a single slowed moment”

 

 

These were quotes that really managed to detail the moments in time, which have brought a sense of measuring eternity. The book motivated me to see where I am. Which brings me back to Amel!

What you wanted is what you have
Or isn’t it
What you are is out of your hands
Or isn’t it

Lay down your pencil
Computer off
Say not a word
Get out of your car
Step away from your desk
Don’t look at the clock
Stand there in silence

And see where you are
And see where you are
And see where you are
And do you wanna be where you are”

 

This song motivates us, to lay down what we are writing. DO WE EVEN KNOW, WHAT WE ARE WRITING? Turn the computer off, and observe the silence! This song really enveloped my thought process because, lately, that is exactly what I have been doing lately. Staying quiet and not looking at the clock. There is a lot in my life going on…But I am stepping away from my desk. Just to see where I am..I realize I don’t want to be where I am.

 

She goes even deeper in the next lyrics:

 

It’s everything
A vivid dream
Or not worth talking about
The big idea
Until it’s here
And then they’re taking the

house

What you wanted is what you have
Or isn’t it
What you are is out of your hands
Or isn’t it

 

What we often want is what we have, and many times we feel is that it is out our hands!

Ah yes
Feeling the implications
Of somebody else’s
Expectations
You could elope if you wanted to

DO you want to is the question?