SPRUNG UP EMOTIONALLY

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sprung like the fibonacci springs in old beds…

*HERE ARE SEVEN EMOTIONAL RINGS*

when I dream of the yo-yo, I’m 1sprung up emotionally. my middle finger looped in a hole which like a BOOMERANG – is destined to be returned and thrown into gravity. one must hold on”…for the sacred is molded in ritual care and delicate caresses. when your memory savors the undefinable – this taste requires a devouring. a dissecting of each flavor carefully and considerably – taking notes as to what works and what can be taken out.

2sprung up cuz the recall of this truth can’t be denied or traded in for justifiable pretense. the dance has begun and my emotions are the alter in which I falter. i’ve been musically lifted. the sounds of crunchy melodies and syrupy grooves got me out and in the funk. a revival of sounds await for me through the changing beats and 808’s. 

so many emotions. they be swirling, twirling, and orbiting.  my feelings be

*f.s.k.o.w.* feeling some kind of way …. (<— CLICK HERE TO LISTEN)

3sprung up emotionally cuz my feelings are in a wave attempting to reach the shore. what can be done about the reactive state of affairs one is forced to deal with? how do we climb the ladder to safety ensuring the legs do not crumble? shaky foundations certainly make it difficult to stand stable. I suppose my hands are able but the intention is not willing.

4sprung up high up into the mountainous galaxies where the stars laugh at my decisions. looking into them // i see the past. memories which were stained by depraved action. my surroundings perplexed by desert dancers serving me bottled up mirages. i drank of their elixir then, while attempting to make sense out of this perilous advent.

5sprung up cuz i hung up, all my closing demands. i distanced myself like a pariah and the prey – tossing with the wind and never staying. trying to be the pretender and the joker cuz the absurd made life a folly. like a bullet strain locked and loaded, only needing a pull of the trigger. fear like this begins to grow bigger and BIGGER. when life invites you into a fetus like position – so that others can swallow you more safely // that’s when things really start looking shady.

6sprung up cuz i leaped too high. i wanted to meet my ancestors in heaven. some of which decided to come down instead to meet me in the shadows. they never scared me but they never made themselves known to me. even in the still of the night – they never dared to open a jar or fall off the hedges. i think they slept a lot instead of playing poltergeist. i knew they were here with me cuz i sleep and remember too.

7sprung up cuz i’ve been driven mad, glad, sad, and totally RAD. for as much as i wander i squander. time spilled into another day. pages left open but unread. dreams left unspoken but somehow said. this is why I say I’m sprung up! because i’ve been pressed and pushed down into the ground. WHAT has become WHEN. Because WHEN springs forth the map of promise! The restlessness is eventually awakened, as I pick up the pen. *Sew to Bestow* SPRUNG UP EMOTIONALLY ENOUGH TO TRANSMIT ALL SEVEN OF THESE FIBONACCI RINGS. ALL OF WHICH WERE RANDOM PROCESSES BAKING INTO MY MIND. The sound of love and the dream of the yo-yo does not have to return void.

O.Z.P.I.N.H.E.A.D

*in case you care not read but to listen —CLICK HERE. the mastering on this is loud in some parts so be warned by the flagrant effects.*

the stars that rest above me are of unbelievable magnitude.

they also sparkle with crystal crimson – blinding me by their rapture of shine and bliss.

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the tokens found in my heart are daring to be inserted into a funk machine.

this dance might begin where my tears have left me stale.

perhaps, the tarot card, crystal ball, and Zion’s prayers, predicted this dread?

my unwillingness to play ahead and to saturate the options laid out beforehand, explains this drought.

i’m hot at the command of fluctuated and unreliable weather reports.

yet, the ghost of my ancestral heritage is awaking my hands to remove the stone.

to unveil the performance that has practiced, millennium after millennium.

i have been predestined to understand how these words will develop, my current state of affairs.

for such is sometimes, A ‘s.s.o.a’ – an acronym which means – Sad State of Affairs:

“it’s a sad state of affairs”. that is to say, a series of unfortunate events have taken place, all of which has led down, to the path of sadness.

be it: broken promises.

expectations which go undelivered.

lies being disguised as the truth.

all of these misfortunes have boiled up into a sad emotional burden.

and we want to rid it off like a bumpy itch.

like a fresh and absurd stain created cuz you drank coffee in the hurry for caffeine. (on your white threads, nonetheless)

what could be summarized rather briefly – has extended itself into a long, 6 paged letter.

sadness is then spoken in dissecting paragraphs with a nauseating prolix.

*le sigh*

i don’t like this.

it isn’t right.

damn.

*le sigh*

folks are often inconveniened at the expense of their labor. as it continues on – the emotional allowance and justification for such neglect sinks into desperate pleading.

why can’t ANY this change?

can it rearrange in our favor?

will someone at least care for us?

we don’t always care for ourselves because emotional anxiety can exile our self care routines.

sadness then turns around and asks the bold question – what’s the point?

many lines have been written to justify a love that is self-serving.

self-care is a charge we should take notice of.

however, who is willing to be sought?

when you hide from yourself // who will
seek to find you?

when associates have abandoned themselves into their own busy lives.

when strangers knock on the doors of unfamiliar houses.

when those closest to you seem so far away and your voice is too weak to call.

it does seem terrifying that we are all here alone in melody, but confused in this scattered song.

“What if all that is and all that was before
Was just a test to see if we’ll handle more?
What if the loss was gain and the gain was truly loss?
Happiness is freedom, a chain with a cost.

– It’s Not Over Yet, War And Treaty

I wrote a script called ASLEEP // ALARM earlier this year involving a dialogue between being awake or responding to the alarm.

waking up diligently to answer various objectives, is like ketchup on the most visible parts of your white linen.

however, some stains are not at all bothered by the poor defense of water with no soap or elbow grease.

we may need to scrub deeper than the surface.

there’s a war going on between who can be heard the most among the noise.

but everyone knows, the loudest one in the crowd.

they don’t go through the bother of camouflage or soft editing.

they’re usually rambunctious in sharing their passion and highly skilled at competitive laughing.

as it turns out, people would like to get to where they’re going without the hassle of unclear abbreviations.

how can any of this go anywhere without clear specifics?!

in my search to find clarity and meaning in a room full of emotional interplay.

i am aghast at the rumbling of this earthquake, which has shattered the foundation whole.

decisions and choices, i have yet to make.

what will be said about my fate?

the written VISIBLE word was foreign to my eyes.

my ears were overwhelmed with an abundance of music.

sticky strings of classical embroidered carols for the day.

but, darkened thick hallowed melodies of funk and rock guitars at night.

i was forewarned about the flagrant affairs of my recent decisions.

i found myself watering down the seeds planted in my dreams, while forging the present everyday moment in exchange for prolonged daydreaming.

still the pages are left unturned.

answers are still joined at the hip, which provides a hit that doesn’t quit.

when affairs are sour because of late expiration – we need not be afraid of signing off, on tears which are worth the stream release from our eyes.

when the veil is swiped away from the one in the box, mimicking authoritative oppression.

it becomes very clear like in the land of oz’ – that Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs (O.Z.P.I.N.H.E.A.D) pretended all along by the projected trickery of ✳️HYPE✳️.

he changed his form constantly therefore making illusion of the fact, that he was an ordinary man from Omaha, Nebraska – who had amazing technological gear!

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the wizard of oscar zoroaster phadrig isaac norman henkle emmannuel ambroise diggs, what a LEGEND!

remember beloved, when you encounter a ‘SSOA’ and you are guaranteed to, at some point in your life.

insert this token into your memory bank – sad doesn’t always rhyme with bad.

sad can rightfully drive one mad or make one incredibly glad!

sad is merely a STATE and thus – it is possessed with the amazing ability to change its form.

August Feels Like Wednesday

You have waited long enough! Here is August Feels Like Wednesday in its entirety complete with narration served by, yours truly. August is almost over –  but you’ll always be able to feast on this throughout all time. It’s an album that covers a host of emotions. It’s better if you just listen and explore all of what this album entails! It’s only 33 minutes and 41 seconds if you want to hear the project complete with narration. The video on YouTube is cheesy and is therefore non-vegan. It’s cheesy because of narration! 😀

 

If you so wish to buy the album on BandCamp you can do that also! It’s only 7 dollars! This option is actually non-cheesy with no narration 😀

https://jestereye7x.bandcamp.com/

 

I want to thank everyone involved in this project! I love y’all so much! A special thanks to Mr.Ivory Snow for producing The Velvet Dinner, Engulfing Through, and The Yielding Sacrifice! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the colors and textures you added in making this project as cohesive and festive to the meaning I intended. You took your time with it and you did not disappoint! Your album Snow is one of the best albums of the year hands down! Everybody support real music by real musicians! He also happens to be a producer, arranger, and one man band and all that jazz! 😀

Jeremy Garner – The magician and musician – I’m so blessed to collaborate with! Thank you for adding your music on Sin, Splash Utopia, and Death Appearing Like An Orgasm! I am entirely blessed at your vision of arrangement and being an instrument allowing the music to talk! Your connection to my words have always created incredible music in such transcending ways! I looks forwards for recording more with you and seeing where your sounds will take you next!

Danny L’Amour – You remain a voice of blessing in my life. I love that we both share the connection of food too! This is why you were perfect for The Velvet Dinner!  I’ll always be thankful for your existence in my life! The pictures you took remind me of what can be known from a moment. Thank you for your voice and hand in everything you do!

There is somebody for everybody! Don’t worry – I got my own aluminum foil to carry if you did not bring it with you! 😀

 

What is Sin?

There’s a lot that’s been said about ‘Sin’. I heard so much about it growing up. Haven’t we all? Sin has the reputation for being that thing that disappoints g-d. Transgression. When you bypass the law in favor of responding to the lusts of your flesh. With this song, I wanted to challenge the typical core beliefs surrounding sin. What makes some things sinful while other things are just tradition?

So much of sin is made up of the things we consider taboo.  A lot of people are afraid of doing what they wanna do because of the punitive punishment that has been attached to their desires. This is most common if you were raised in a strict religious and or dogmatic environment.  I came up with the idea for this song after writing about sin and the power it had on my life for so while as a Christian. I was always curious about sin and the nature of its influence in my life.

This was a teaching moment to me upon my awareness of growth and desire and hopefully, you may find this useful in navigating your life. If you listen at the end of this song, Stanley Wrinkles comes in to deliver an important message. Who is this, Stanley Wrinkles some might ask?

Stanley Wrinkles is a character I came up with back in 2005 not long after Hurricane Katrina took my family to Texas. He’s a preacher that is passionate about Jesus and sharing the message of the truth. Whether prayer, preaching or talking – he’s always passionately sharing in some way or another.

AND NOW THERE’S DESSERT #1!

My Homie Jeremy Garner was the mastermind behind the production of this track! I remember when he first sent this to me and how amazed I was how fast it came together. The rock metal edge really gives this song a kick and really just stands in your face and sends bones down your spine.

Take a listen and please do enjoy and share with me what you think?

https://soundcloud.com/jestereyesound/sin-ft-stanley-wrinkles

Remember – On YouTube is where to find me and Jeremy Garner’s Latest Collaborations!

(This song is the first serving of dessert shared on August Feels Like Wednesday )

 

A.T.S.S. (Gifs And Stats)

BACK TO YELLOW! 

I’ve remastered various videos and will have them re-released this month. The funny thing about this is that most people haven’t even seen these videos so they are basically new videos that have never seen the light of day. When I look back at the numbers of my content, I’m underwhelmed about how many people never ever watched them. 😀 That’s OK though, the internet always provides a room for you. Even if discovered years later! 😀

I asked my friend Unicole to write down her thoughts on Gifs and Stats and she did an incredible job conveying this message. Check out her message here!

Lemme show you what I learned. Hold up! See! Now according to this study – you can actually be wrong and right at different times.
Ain’t That Some Shit?!

When the unexpected becomes the reality beyond your ability to see it in the near distance. When it rains on your picnic! Ain’t That Some Shit?

The ones who were supposed loose, end up winning by a landslide! Ain’t That Some Shit?

The fitness trainer eating healthy decided to cut out meat and dairy but was still eating fatty snacks and sugary treats and end up having health problems because of it. Ain’t That Some Shit?

No matter how much you study and practice, if you don’t memorize the basics, you can still fail. Ain’t That Some Shit?

We live our life talking to one another unable to see ourselves, however, people can see us and what we look like. Ain’t That Some Shit?

By invalidating emotions but granting hardcore facts, we risk losing proper interpretations of both. Ain’t That Some Shit?

If you ever had to say “Ain’t That Some Shit” at any point, please share with me! 😀

THE TRIGGERED GENERATION

Hell Yeah, we’re Triggered.

It’s 2017 and everybody I know gets Triggered. It’s on some ASMR type of flow. Are you seeing the same shit I’m seeing?

Maybe you haven’t been aware of the plethora of ways in which trauma can be unlocked – but let me tell you: The box and key are always engaged in some kind of slippery slope of twists and turns.

Have you been living underneath a rock or something?

Every and anything can be triggering!

What’s funny about it – is that it doesn’t take much really. We’re constantly forced to deal with things and a lot of those things have childhood triggers we don’t understand yet.

Upon sudden contact – Bing!

We’re then pushed in the wrestling ring by the beast we haven’t fully seen.

Anytime I smell its fragrance – It gets a little bit closer to defeating me. I’m PRESSED because I can’t predict when my next collapse will take place?

It’s on the television. It’s on my phone. In the classroom. At work. With my family. With friends that I hang out with. I have no idea what I’m gonna see or what I hear and how this may trigger me wherever I happen to be.

Triggers are invisible forces that I can’t seem to protect myself from.

No warning. No map for closure. My anxiety is constantly multiplying because of various triggers.

These are close to home reminders that are not so easy to run away from.

I heard somebody say “Our generation should just get a grip and not be so loose on our emotions when they run through us like a flame.” I’m just laughing at that cuz IF we could pick and choose what triggered us, we wouldn’t be so damn triggered.

While we can’t control how they come, I suppose we understand those triggers. We can begin to learn how to unpack some of those various traumas.

Identifying them can be hard work tho – but it’s our responsibility.

Are we the Triggered Generation? I’d say Hell Yeah! But people long before us have had these triggers.

We’re just a bit more aware of the impact they have and there’s comfort in knowing – we ain’t all alone in this.

This piece is for my friend Loxten, which will be used for his future project.

The Dance of Perspective

The dance of perspective is one we each should qualify in our daily lives. When you think about the vast universe, and the multitude of stars in the solar system you can count down – the enormity from least to the greatest. The Macro and Micro. If you’re living a life according to a limited spectrum, you won’t see the vastness of the macro reality. We can often be arrested and when I say arrested, I mean completely cuffed by our own ideas. Take a moment to look in the mirror, and then look at somebody else. You won’t see the same person that’s in your reflection.

Dancing in perspective can be quite intimating at times. It’s like dancing in a public. Not everyone is willing to do it because they are afraid of who might look at them. What might they say? The fear of prying eyes can cage freedom and execution. Unless you are wearing a mask. Disguise is a clever way to get to the point without having to face the reality. Reality is a complex force in and of itself because well…What is it anyway? (Start by asking questions and also watching The Matrix Trilogy. :D)

Our senses help build reality. If you listen close enough you are better equipped at answering the next question. Reality deals with what is real, what can be determined by a series of tests. These tests can often influence our emotions, but emotions are not always corresponding to the truth of the music at the party. Yet everything is really dancing in some way of another. Rhythm seeks to invite our feet and hips to move accordingly. If you ain’t dancing it doesn’t mean the music isn’t playing – it just may mean your vibes require more bottom and funk. Nonetheless, the dance keeps going and you can either join in the music at the time or tune into your own stereo.

I made a video called ‘Perspective is The Truest Hero’ which explains the importance of perspective and how it comes out as heroic every time. It’s really all how you look at it.

Check out the video if you wish!

On another note, I invite engagement. I enjoy seeing what my perspective is able to find through the power of conversation. Characters in The Wind is centered on the Kaleidoscopic Vortex of perspective. The variations and spectrums are wide and colorful because we each are given unique experiences and these experiences are what gives us perspective. It’s not just our experiences but lessons that have been taught by others as well, which can enable a sense of knowledge. We all have access to this knowledge, the key to reaching it is by listening and corresponding to the music or the musician.

Shadow Acquaintance

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It sometimes haunts me with a lingering presence. It’s as if my eyes can only see it and its beginning to make me nervous. Yet, I am finding peace in what this means. The memory is becoming a comedy and eventually- I end up swallowing the anomaly. It’s not so bad to miss great experiences and to monetarily become engulfed with the charm of its power. Reality keeps me in check. I realize, there were a series of choices that were made, which leads me to where I am.

It wasn’t a spontaneous amount of emotionally unbalanced feelings. I regret nothing because what I demonstrated was a result of real emotions. So as the parade of positive memories follows me as a person. The shadowy nature of its power, reveals to my ways; I was hurt and misunderstood as well. It’s not that I focus on the darker aspects of experiences but I must allow proper balance and weight.

It wasn’t all the way white, so let’s acknowledge the BLACK.

Every experience seems to carry both light and dark aspects. So it is necessary to find favor in both the black and white. (Never dispel one because the other is more appealing to you.) So with an alarming shadow appearing at randomized moments, I can truly appreciate this presence that feels like a person.
The light and the activity around it, reveals this dark shadow, which has become a necessary acquaintance.

Redemption.

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You excite me and make my thoughts – spend into suspension.

All of you.

I can’t deny what I wanna make you feel.

I wanna cause your actions to form into a battle.

Literally paralyzing you into a web of sticky cream.

Then I want to get rid of your syrup by sentencing your lips with the weapon of my passion.

Pouring into you sections – I haven’t shown to anyone.

But my youthful self when I first realized, how bad I wanted a girl like you.

Badly like the oceans – I seek to calm you in the midst of your trauma.

Again I wanna become a slave to your spell.

I want you to look at me so I can surrender my reservations to you.

Giving you my jokes and camaraderie so that your laughter is a temptation of undress.

Confess!

Confess so I can heal you by the meditative forgiveness I must pardon to you.

For the blasphemy of your presence writes onto the walls the need for redemption.

If my passions resurrect a savior to your transgressions – follow me into this bliss.

Heaven is our journey and we are saints as we relinquish into the fire of paradise.

Inspired BY The Muse Of Native Land.

Orchestrated Intentions

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Life has a funny way of demonstrating its intentions. The one behind the veil really is the one who orchestrates the story.

I’ve realized the reason to ponder mentions of sovereignty. When one reins the innermost areas of your mind; their scent is what causes a passion for their setting. Avoiding the palace of present stories establishes the realities of desires which may embrace your heart. No one quite understands the full complexity of love as it flows through the medium of simple conversation. When one talks to a persuasion which causes them to question love or the very form of it, they are contaminated with mystery and desire. In the brilliance of silence, one manages to rest in the thought of what causes action. I’ve begun to cling to a surreal identity that has a name and a memory. Traveling into the timeless palaces, bring forth a feeling of an enterprise.

I remember when I said this 6/22/10:”I feel very honored to realize what beauty is to me. It’s more than just a wow factor. More than an inclination of passion, beauty has performed before the eyes of mystery, only to reveal its revelation! It’s paradise found! There is a city I travel to every day and moment of the very second! I will call it the city of X/ X-Factor for now. In this city, the measure of the equation already gives definition to reality. I can expound on it all day! I’m very much honored to have this now! I owe it all to the X Factor!”

The ‘X’ factor can often be a variable which suggests mystery but when one discovers the formula, the equation is not even bothersome. It is in this confession of intention, where I belong under the order of orchestration. When one thinks about the mindless cycles of talented tendencies; they begin to look forward to the sounds of joy and pain. In this effect, giving birth remains and shadows a supernatural experience.

Looking into the rainbows of the sky one can see color has carried on the bedspread of the clouds. The ultra-violet lights of the sun have made visible bright expectations. It’s a scenario where the stars, moon, and sun belong to me. In the nucleus of my own galaxies, I have already become distant to earthly forces. I will make known an invisible promise to my own self. Silence brings sleeping memories and encourages informative desires. What is now will always be; for I have learned the motion of company. I feel pretty close to my will now, and my representation of meaning means realistic.

Summarized Notion Of Thought:  The symphonies of deliberate innuendos gives the music a melody that is hidden in the rhythmic harmony. Think about it like this; the deeper our understanding for the degrees of light makes us apprehensive to look into the eyes of the light. I know now, our capacities to arise on the landscape of what is real depends on our focus.