WTM! TOF?

“Those that have an Ear, let them Hear!”

i find it curious, that when folks check in on you, they continue with wonder: “how have you been? what have you been up too? long time no talk too, what’s been happening?” however, those same people can’t / wouldn’t / haven’t – taken anytime to press play to engage in your latest creation.

🤔🧐🤨

if you want the message to relay; indeed all you need to do is press play and LISTEN! (i would really appreciate your feedback / criticisms especially if you make it through the whole thing!

this project was originally released 2 years ago as a written text, featuring 10 chapters with a lot of colorful poetry and allegory. i’ve done the difficult arrangement of writing, editing, and recording it all. There’s no ‘physical’ copy of this book yet because i really want folks to listen as opposed to flipping through the pages and missing something.

Typos notwithstanding, there’s a message! May you get through! Whether through the Angel (😇) or Angle (📐)

Blessings and thank you for everyone that has taken the time! This was done at no cost to you, but if you wish to give a love token and donation :

Cashapp : $gesturegreen

paypal: paradiseclarity@gmail.com

Zelle: jesterants@gmail.com

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O.Z.P.I.N.H.E.A.D

*in case you care not read but to listen —CLICK HERE. the mastering on this is loud in some parts so be warned by the flagrant effects.*

the stars that rest above me are of unbelievable magnitude.

they also sparkle with crystal crimson – blinding me by their rapture of shine and bliss.

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the tokens found in my heart are daring to be inserted into a funk machine.

this dance might begin where my tears have left me stale.

perhaps, the tarot card, crystal ball, and Zion’s prayers, predicted this dread?

my unwillingness to play ahead and to saturate the options laid out beforehand, explains this drought.

i’m hot at the command of fluctuated and unreliable weather reports.

yet, the ghost of my ancestral heritage is awaking my hands to remove the stone.

to unveil the performance that has practiced, millennium after millennium.

i have been predestined to understand how these words will develop, my current state of affairs.

for such is sometimes, A ‘s.s.o.a’ – an acronym which means – Sad State of Affairs:

“it’s a sad state of affairs”. that is to say, a series of unfortunate events have taken place, all of which has led down, to the path of sadness.

be it: broken promises.

expectations which go undelivered.

lies being disguised as the truth.

all of these misfortunes have boiled up into a sad emotional burden.

and we want to rid it off like a bumpy itch.

like a fresh and absurd stain created cuz you drank coffee in the hurry for caffeine. (on your white threads, nonetheless)

what could be summarized rather briefly – has extended itself into a long, 6 paged letter.

sadness is then spoken in dissecting paragraphs with a nauseating prolix.

*le sigh*

i don’t like this.

it isn’t right.

damn.

*le sigh*

folks are often inconveniened at the expense of their labor. as it continues on – the emotional allowance and justification for such neglect sinks into desperate pleading.

why can’t ANY this change?

can it rearrange in our favor?

will someone at least care for us?

we don’t always care for ourselves because emotional anxiety can exile our self care routines.

sadness then turns around and asks the bold question – what’s the point?

many lines have been written to justify a love that is self-serving.

self-care is a charge we should take notice of.

however, who is willing to be sought?

when you hide from yourself // who will
seek to find you?

when associates have abandoned themselves into their own busy lives.

when strangers knock on the doors of unfamiliar houses.

when those closest to you seem so far away and your voice is too weak to call.

it does seem terrifying that we are all here alone in melody, but confused in this scattered song.

“What if all that is and all that was before
Was just a test to see if we’ll handle more?
What if the loss was gain and the gain was truly loss?
Happiness is freedom, a chain with a cost.

– It’s Not Over Yet, War And Treaty

I wrote a script called ASLEEP // ALARM earlier this year involving a dialogue between being awake or responding to the alarm.

waking up diligently to answer various objectives, is like ketchup on the most visible parts of your white linen.

however, some stains are not at all bothered by the poor defense of water with no soap or elbow grease.

we may need to scrub deeper than the surface.

there’s a war going on between who can be heard the most among the noise.

but everyone knows, the loudest one in the crowd.

they don’t go through the bother of camouflage or soft editing.

they’re usually rambunctious in sharing their passion and highly skilled at competitive laughing.

as it turns out, people would like to get to where they’re going without the hassle of unclear abbreviations.

how can any of this go anywhere without clear specifics?!

in my search to find clarity and meaning in a room full of emotional interplay.

i am aghast at the rumbling of this earthquake, which has shattered the foundation whole.

decisions and choices, i have yet to make.

what will be said about my fate?

the written VISIBLE word was foreign to my eyes.

my ears were overwhelmed with an abundance of music.

sticky strings of classical embroidered carols for the day.

but, darkened thick hallowed melodies of funk and rock guitars at night.

i was forewarned about the flagrant affairs of my recent decisions.

i found myself watering down the seeds planted in my dreams, while forging the present everyday moment in exchange for prolonged daydreaming.

still the pages are left unturned.

answers are still joined at the hip, which provides a hit that doesn’t quit.

when affairs are sour because of late expiration – we need not be afraid of signing off, on tears which are worth the stream release from our eyes.

when the veil is swiped away from the one in the box, mimicking authoritative oppression.

it becomes very clear like in the land of oz’ – that Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs (O.Z.P.I.N.H.E.A.D) pretended all along by the projected trickery of ✳️HYPE✳️.

he changed his form constantly therefore making illusion of the fact, that he was an ordinary man from Omaha, Nebraska – who had amazing technological gear!

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the wizard of oscar zoroaster phadrig isaac norman henkle emmannuel ambroise diggs, what a LEGEND!

remember beloved, when you encounter a ‘SSOA’ and you are guaranteed to, at some point in your life.

insert this token into your memory bank – sad doesn’t always rhyme with bad.

sad can rightfully drive one mad or make one incredibly glad!

sad is merely a STATE and thus – it is possessed with the amazing ability to change its form.

VIBE

020619 V

How often do you hear and see “Sending you love and good vibes!” Most of us get the love part. That much seems obvious. It’s the fluffy nonexplainable stuff. But Good Vibes? There’s a host of things that may mean.

What is a vibe?

To put it simply, ‘Vibe’ is short for Vibration. Sound creates an enormous amount of vibrations. Some may make you dance. Some may encourage introspection like jazz tends to do for me. Some vibrations may ignite a mood which then excites candles and incense (&cream). Vibrations tend to be good because if you find the right one, you’re cool. You don’t often hear vibes spoken about without the ‘good’ included. This seems to imply that vibes can be bad as well.

Bad vibes don’t tend to stay around because you can turn the channel quickly. Nonetheless, vibrations are generally good to send out. But how do we achieve this anyway? Can the other person really feel these vibes?

I do not wish good vibes for flash and huff but for an additional voice of confidence. You got this! Slipping and falling is not merely defined by a miscalculated downfall rather a hiccup in direction. If your strut is pretending to convey more than its pep, change your step! (PepInYourStep) A trip can inspire the hip to dance or the feet to keep still to not fumble in darkness. When the music is cool the dance remains and these vibrations can be useful insights into the creation of our ambitions.

Vibes are about connecting to that one source (or many) through the freedom of sharing!

If ‘good vibes’ could be sent out in the mail, I’d make sure it was wrapped in your favorite wrapping paper! I’ll make sure you can easily open the gift without tearing it.

Good Vibes is sharing the best vibration that is useful to your Body and Mind and in that Spirit….

Follow through with the sound and play ahead!

Level UP @ 3

Tempting to make a living out of a death sentence. That’s the struggle for existence. Caught in between the cycle of wanting and owning. LEVEL UP!

The abrasive wrestle between gone and coming. There is both the need to be seen in invisible clothes. LEVEL UP!

When talking to you – I’ll repeat what you said in order to indicate I was listening. If you don’t want those words thrown back at you I’ll just ’MmmHmm’ You until you get the point. LEVEL UP!

Seeing as I experienced one of the most random trips recently to Arizona and neighboring areas – it’s about time I level up! *seriously, shit has been absolutely crazy // having a car accident on my way to the airport.*

I’ve taken for granted living in Sweden for a long time. Coming back to America for a spell meant more sugar, money, and unforeseen realities all encouraging me to level up.

Settling for what has already been prepared is a danger zone. You have to see ahead like the eagle and use all of the resources made available to you. Wherever you are – it’s imperative that you level up!

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What do I mean by ‘Level Up’? Simply, regain your fuel. You’re spending at this very moment precious time and energy. You can covert this at your leisure but you most certainly use the wings you’ve been provided to fly away into productive manifestation.

Don’t wait for nothing. Nothing ain’t coming but something is always around the corner.

Believe that!

This fact has made me more aware of my wrestle with paranoia and the weight that comes with it. Basically, Murphy’s Law is a B*I*T*C*H*! Knowing that anything that can go wrong will go wrong – has been coughing me up and especially seeing my connection with the number 3.

For as long as I could recall numbers would follow me in some way. Whether it’s some form of ‘7’ (14,56,34) or some form of ‘9’ – it has happened to me all the time. This particular season of *2018* we are only 21 Days Into it – 3×7 – 3 has been this important number of leveling up. I’ve seen it in the most inconvenient and teaching way possible.

Which goes back to my relationship with paranoia – which isn’t always a great way for it to reveal itself back to me. Let’s say two bad things have happened to me back to back – then I start thinking another bad thing must be on its way towards me.

Although, this could also mean something really good is due to happen to balance it all out.

I want to level up but it’s hard when your mind starts making nonsense out of coincidental situations. (Or is it coincidental?)

I doubt myself and while I believe this is a very good quality it can become problematic due to not having enough faith in myself.

We should all level up, yes? Can we do this without annihilating our present convictions? Certainly!

I don’t have a particular formula to establish this – but I do know that all of us are apart of this game of connecting all of our experiences. The way in which we do is selective to our interpretative measures. If we ease on the stress and live in the moment, we’ll do better at remembering “The Birds are Singing” we don’t have to hang on to fear and stress, stress, stress, and more stress.

Thanks, Sananda.

The Opening Quest

In preparation for further development of my book, I decided to answer several questions from one of my favorite authors Dushka Zapata.

These questions set the tone for 2018 while also inspiring me to invite you to send me questions that you have thought about existence. The goal isn’t to overthink but to answer with what you feel in the heart of the moment.

Here are my favorite 14 questions.

1. “If life had no meaning, what meaning would I create for mine?”

I’d create a meaning that would mean something to me tomorrow. A meaning that has enough nutrition to last for me and those who came after me. If no others came after me then the meaning would have to be enough to satisfy me even when I’m bored. Something to make me laugh and cry because it’s all so beautifully complex.

2. “If there was no purpose to our existence, what purpose would I give to mine to shield myself from existential despair?”

I would make it a mission to make someone think about their life and what they can do with it. I would want them to laugh at how ironic this whole game of life is. I would want to show myself and people around me how life is so short and how we should chase what gives us that rush.

3. “What matters to me? Why? And once I figure this out, can I determine an order of importance?”

Freedom matters most to me. To be at full liberty without the worry that I must stop at the disadvantage of someone’s inability to respect my equilibrium. If I could get out of someone’s way to their freedom. Establishing importance would mean to know it’s not just about me.

4. “Is there a healthy, logical correlation between my priorities and how I spend my time? If not, why?”

I give myself too much time for tasks I feel can wait. I must embed a pattern of usual, so I don’t buy into the distractions because god knows I have binged on many distractions. I think I have bought so much time because I see time as an illusion and I feel I always have time, but I’ve come to realize I don’t always have time. It’s always leaving me when I gain it.

5. “What am I afraid of? Can I learn to distinguish the fear that protects me from the fear that stops me?”

“They say everybody is afraid of something although I don’t know what actually makes me afraid now. I am drawn to the unknown and I believe fear makes us strong at times. I suppose my fear is to be consistent in the most western way of doing it. (I must always pay my bills and have enough left over) Constantly making enough that is sufficient and inspiring enough to last. The best way for me to distinguish it is to fail occasionally and not feel guilty about it.”

6.”What happens when I get what I want? Is it glorious, empty, triumphant, anticlimactic? Why?”

I usually feel content with it. Sometimes when I want something so very badly and get it – I don’t feel like it was worth the wanting. I would like to capture the gloriousness more because there’s substance in playing in that feeling. I think it becomes anticlimactic because I knew I could get it – I just didn’t think I would survive the trip to get there.

7. “What does happiness mean to me? What makes me happy and how can I capture that elusive sensation more often?”

Happiness means more laughter and learning found in simple and complex things. I think if I read more, the joy of happiness will show up more.

8. “What hurts me? How can I become stronger against what causes me to suffer? How and where can I learn to suffer less? How can I remind myself that the person who makes me suffer the most is me?”

I hurt myself when I don’t own up to my decisions and how they influence others. I should remember that I am in the driver’s seat and that my reactions can be calmer. To be mindful of silence and that words don’t always have to be spoken.

9. “What is left of me if I attempt to define myself without leaning on anything I do? I am a student, I am a writer, I am a mom, I am a manager, I am a Vice President – these are all things I do. Who am I? Where is she?”

This is a very complex one. I am here and while I am here, I want to make as much hell and fun on this trip. I observe, sleep, learn and then convert this knowledge into love for everyone around me.

10. “How can I avoid losing myself in my relationships? What are my boundaries and how do I enforce them?”

One way is to have a clear understanding that we do not belong to each other but that we are only appreciating and honoring each other’s company. That we live with the knowledge that we can together but sometimes we may steer to our own strengths by ourselves. I can enforce my boundaries by staying true to myself without shame or pressure.

11. “What do my feelings teach me about myself? If I feel anger or jealousy, can I learn not to react to these feelings but instead determine what they are trying to tell me?”

They are trying to tell me to maybe rearrange what I do not understand. To Ask more questions and to speak softly and to apologize when I’ve assumed too much. I can learn by simply remembering people are often in the same state as me. They just want clarity.

12. “What happens when I sit in silence?”

I find that the stillness in myself is still yearning to speak to myself in riddles of nothing but me, myself, and I.

13. “How can I better manage change? How can I get better at accepting how little control I have?”

Knowing that I did not choose to be born here at the time I was. Some parts are played long before I got here.

14. “How would I like to be remembered?”

“Remembered for good company with a fresh willingness to open a door that people didn’t really think about turning, making them laugh while thinking.”

If you got through all of my answers to these magnificent questions, I applaud your interest endearingly! I encourage you to answer some of these questions as well! I wanted to start 2018 with these questions because they would open up my understanding of myself and where I want to go.

I am making it a mission to write way more while reading, listening, and observing.

We can do this thing together – narrating and asking. This will help us climb the ladder for clarity among all living things!

((*Every 7th of the month from now until March – I’ll post 3 of my favorite questions (& 7 replies) that I find correlates with the book I’m working on! If you have any questions that you have asked at any time // feel free to email me at jesterj7@hotmail.com

BaManifesto💥

What’s gained is lost.

By the measures of reduction via conversion. You can’t have a proper conversation without some kind of reduction.

Don’t let this dismay or upset you.
Life is also about the giving and the taking. Basically: you gotta pay da bills.

I know – crazy right? You got to work to survive on a planet you didn’t even ask to be in. That’s a reason to be upset sometimes.

The less you have the more is expected to be given.

Society tends to be stupid. Yeah, I think you know that by now but it’s stupider than you think. Society forces you to talk when silence is needed.

You can’t do anything that is validated anymore because if your audience reach is everyone – you’ll certainly disappoint someone.

Hence the stupidity of society – you get framed when you ain’t even the picture. You won’t be able to please everyone because some people require different lengths of a garment for what’s fitted.

If you do it – it’s a REACH. If you don’t do it – you missed the opportunity to cash in. So either way // What’s gained is lost. The flow of what’s good comes at a cost.

How well are you counting the steps to what’s gonna turn into a disaster?

It’s only a matter of time before it all hits a landslide. Then BAM – you gotta deal with the explosive manifesto.

LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST!

You can burn with the fire of the sun and drown in the water of life. Before the alarm goes off you have to make sure you’re prepared. I’m doing what I have to do so I’ll arrive on time. This doesn’t stop, parallel winds that confuse you and aim to confiscate your jewelry and chains.

Before you know it, you’re left penniless and homeless.

No place to go only hopeful dreams to fill the void in your head. If only you invested your last change – your wallet would be fat and your cards stacked. The course of life left you with only the leaves of spring.

The wind remains a charm to your destination. Like a bag in the air- you’ll fly away with a random gust of navigation. The atom then splits and the party invites you to come and groove.

I’m cool on that as long as I don’t buy into thoughts that I can’t compensate. Beyond the light – we all ache to compensate for the darkness we have not yet found.

This darkness is within us and we can’t escape the pull of its fierce reality.

From the sadness of childhood contemplation, we then reach inside our souls. These tears are found within the wishing well of our remembrance. For we can not neglect the motions that have brought conviction to the current.

Waves are set and have boarded in a resistance that must be awakened. For sleeping in the dream is an alarm to our subconscious. It’s no wonder why we react because our childhood has been tortured.

The passages of neglect have been misplaced on the shelf. A book like this is to be remembered and the mirror shows us our deepest revelations. Honest trees are in our garden and those seeds were planted decades before.

The wind blows against the branches and when the moonlight shines – the darkness returns. Only to be remembered by a shadow cast by the dim light upon the roots.

The Performance.

What you gonna do now? Keep talking?

What about walking?

Are your shoes tied? What’s happening? Did you get in shape before the match? What about drinking your water? Did you lift your weights? Are all of your tools prepared? Did you remember to bring your wallet? Your handkerchief? What about any magic beads?

I’m asking these questions cause I wanna make sure you’re prepared. Consider me the performance coach. Are you ready for the performance? Are you gonna get on stage and run away OR are you show everybody that paid a ticket they’re gonna get their monies worth?

You ain’t gonna let them down. You have bought into the lightning and now you’re on fire!

But don’t burn too much, otherwise, you’re gonna suffocate everyone in the room! 😀

Fire burns quickly and smoke sends the signal to the alarm.

Your burning is largely due to nerves.

So you feel nervous?

Ever paid for something with the expectation that it was gonna show you out? When you couldn’t look forwards to eating it because you knew it was gonna rock your world!? Remember tasting it and getting disappointed? Being let down – disturbs the peace but everything is still in harmony when you believe in your work.

We all got faults we can work out on but to get bummed out is a part of the process.

HOWEVER // Make it plain. Expect the sudden interruptions of life and follow the signs. Get there. Polish your breaks. Even when you feel you are about to skew away from the path.

Are you afraid people might see you stumble? Maybe you gonna fall on your ass and embarrass yourself? Well, that’s awkward picking yourself back up right after you tripped on a non-existent banana.

You ain’t the only one tripping, tho.

The performance is the trip itself.

Inspired

Inspired to go somewhere.

To fly into the presence of persuasion.

To count the stars while breathing in the dust from starlight pyramids.

I’m looking to find deep treasures buried in the bowl of my intent.

I’m not always ready to face the monster of realization because it taunts imagination.

I can clearly see where I’m gonna be.

I can taste the freshest waters of futuristic manifestation.

Yet here I stand.

Frail with a desire to move but lacking the gas and stimulation needed to cough up a revival of the chase.

When one can feel the power of intensity one then realizes the goal of emphasis.

The Word is moving upon my lips, and my vision is multiplying into endless translations.

My life is turning into a maze of possibilities.

Never before have doors become reflections of interest.

In the heat of my incentive, I’m inspired to reach places unseen before.

I’m following the trail of ancestral geometry.

The guide of the stars is mapped by close study of arrival.

I’ve been preparing myself.

I’m having to really trust myself more than ever.

I’ve always had people tell me I’m capable and I really believe it – but now I’m having to put that in motion.

Something about being 24 // Love is serving me some demands.

I’m just having to trust that all of this study is gonna pay off.

(Which I know it will) it’s just my experiences are teaching me a lot about myself.

New things are happening.

Still dealing with this and dealing and that.

Now more than ever my perception is being framed by my experiences and actions.

I’m inspired to redeem that which was lost.

To mend that what was invisibly broken, but now clearly seen in lines ahead.

Inspired to be.

Inspired for the sake of inspiration.

Inspired because there is work ahead.

I’m inspired because there is a fire in the motivation of silent motion.

Improvisation: Share The Light

This was a special moment in which Jeremy, His Mom, and I created something magical through the lens of improvisation. It worked on so many levels and our only script – was just following the flow. It’s random, and of course, it stopped at different sections, but hence the narration of jazz. A lot of enlightenment was discovered! This video is the building blocks and blueprint for Characters In The Wind!

 

Eye 1.

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The more I live life, I’m finding it rather difficult to say “I Can’t”. The limits are becoming more and more imaginary. It’s all about intention. Sure, some factors are out of my control, but needless to say, I have the strength to do it – if I will it so. I can commit to my own goals. I can challenge myself if it means to recognize my own strength. Maybe I’ll fall down really hard, I can almost guarantee the pain that comes with it will be for my gain. The bruise is then the story and indicator as to why I stumbled.  So even if I lose, yeah – Eye 1.

This concept of ‘losing’ has been largely manipulated to mean something humiliating. This projection of shame has been perpetrated through mass media. The ones who lost, and the ones who won. Sure, competition is a good sport and quite a natural course. However, this bullying into feeling less than, because you could not achieve the particular standard given is bogus. We have to respect the effort put into the battle.

However, this bullying into feeling less than, because you could not achieve the particular standard given is bogus. We have to respect the effort put into the battle.

THE DRAMA OF A COUGH

I realize drama is a narration of passionate expression.

It can have its fair share and be extra sometimes.

But, we both know we don’t have to tolerate it – even if the roots are passionate and sincere.

I’m going to drink another one, and we’ll be on our way with our day!

The Cough is Literally The Indicator To Your Inner Expressions. No Matter How Dramatic They Appear, Water Helps!

Native Rapture Via X

For when I ascended into the Native Rapture, my mind and frame began to pose a description. Every now and then, she comes again, and the lessons you never forget. You become a Designated Fool as Sananda Maitreya put it.

There she goes speculating on someone
For her private school
There he is her next sugar daddy-o
Her designated fool
She’s a teacher of unbelievable skill
I once loved her and now I paying the bill

Right about now she’s regulating on someone
With her juicy groove
If papa comes quick
She’ll slow ’em down and teach ’em a textbook trick
Some advanced curriculum

She’s a master
At stimulating her class
I once loved her
I graduated too fast

Fool, because with her ALL her knowledge will likely terminate your missionary trip. That can’t be a bad thing, can it?

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From the tropical edge, and by the Native pledge – her colors are the foundation of life.

She comes to capture and with strong memories you’ve already ascended into her rapture.

Beyond the stars and passing around the crescent moon; here she has come not a moment too soon.

She reminds you of your vulnerable scales; like the time you thought dolphins were whales.

She always made you remember; science was the only everlasting December.

Her face was shades of colorful ambition; apertures and contrasts of tuition.

What a price you had to pay; for, with your concentrated stare, you have stepped into the gray.

Your mission has become the predator and the prey. 

To know you – means she must consume you, but only by her native woo.

The Time Keeper (See Where You Are)

I just finished watching ‘The Time Keeper’ by Mitch Albom!

 

It’s a book with massive critical acclaim and for good reasons!

I won’t indulge each and every passage that enveloped the story but my abbreviations are heavy with a sense of parallel discovery.

 

Right after, I finished reading the book immediately as I went to lay, the song ‘See Where You Are’ by Amel Larrieux stormed within my heart. The lyrics speak of exactly,  what the book manages to explore.

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“It’s zippin by
Like speed of light
Or draggin painfully slow
It’s not enough
Or just too much
Either way it’s gonna go”

TIME, what truly is it all about? I’ve written very much about time, the paradox of its nature, the believability that it is given. While reading the book, what I managed to enjoy are those random slices of revelation! Mitch, often dropped knowledge as a poetry entrance, to concur with the setting of what he talked spoke about! I started to read the book backward, but I’ll manage to now quote some of my favorite slices from end to the beginning.

 

 

“Everything man does today to be efficient, to fill the hour? It does not satisfy. It only makes him hungry to do more. Man wants to own his existence. But no one owns time”

 

 

“With endless time, nothing is special. With no loss sacrifice, we can’t appreciate what we have.”

 

 

“When we’re most alone is when we embrace another loneliness / But…Hurting ourselves to inflict pain on others is just another cry to be loved”

 

“Einstein once postulated that if you traveled at an enormous rate of speed, time would actually slow down relative to the world you left behind, so that seeing that future without aging alongside it was, at least theoretically possible.

 

“He did not know that the child who asked for yesterday was now seeking to own tomorrow”

 

“But a man who can take anything will find most things unsatisfying. And a man without memories is just a shell.

 

 

“In this world, he heard a constant hum, as if a hundred sounds were being mashed into one note. He didn’t yet know this was the sound of a single slowed moment”

 

 

These were quotes that really managed to detail the moments in time, which have brought a sense of measuring eternity. The book motivated me to see where I am. Which brings me back to Amel!

What you wanted is what you have
Or isn’t it
What you are is out of your hands
Or isn’t it

Lay down your pencil
Computer off
Say not a word
Get out of your car
Step away from your desk
Don’t look at the clock
Stand there in silence

And see where you are
And see where you are
And see where you are
And do you wanna be where you are”

 

This song motivates us, to lay down what we are writing. DO WE EVEN KNOW, WHAT WE ARE WRITING? Turn the computer off, and observe the silence! This song really enveloped my thought process because, lately, that is exactly what I have been doing lately. Staying quiet and not looking at the clock. There is a lot in my life going on…But I am stepping away from my desk. Just to see where I am..I realize I don’t want to be where I am.

 

She goes even deeper in the next lyrics:

 

It’s everything
A vivid dream
Or not worth talking about
The big idea
Until it’s here
And then they’re taking the

house

What you wanted is what you have
Or isn’t it
What you are is out of your hands
Or isn’t it

 

What we often want is what we have, and many times we feel is that it is out our hands!

Ah yes
Feeling the implications
Of somebody else’s
Expectations
You could elope if you wanted to

DO you want to is the question?

Passion.

“Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping… waiting… and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir… open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us… guides us. Passion rules us all. Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love… the clarity of hatred… the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we’d know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we’d be truly dead.”

– ENCOURAGEMENT FROM  MISS (X)UGAB

Transcendent Intoxication

Ever had a bad day?

Feeling as if the day to day bread is just not enough? Maybe you should get intoxicated from what’s above. Far too often we allow the misery of the usual to burden why LIFE is the most important aspect of LIVING. It’s easy to get held up in the routine, but there is more to life than this! These days that are usually aloft from the activity of remembrance, is how life should be indulged.

If you have ever pondered what bread is and what life might mean. I encourage you to watch this video, and get encouraged! This is written for you, and if I can help somebody to come! I’ll feel my mission has summarized quite well!

Lingering Amputation

For those of you once in a relationship, you know how it is, to cut somebody off when you realize their position has diminished. Why keep a member still around, when the membrane is poisoned?

It’s the reality that becomes even more piercing when you move according to the flow. Not everyone is suppose to be in your life for a long time, but cutting someone off still leaves a lingering. The smell is as strong as fragrance; that keeps the aroma of the room in circle. The memories are valid, but the question is what comes next!

What do you do about a memory?

Do you simply ignore its stinging, flavor?

Or direct the memory in a new direction & apply a different meaning?

As the decision is made to amputate the poisoned membrane; what becomes of this; reckons in and out.

The sting of its absence; creates a distinguished lingering that begs for attention.

When you simply cut off a once well exercised member; you are then going to live with that disadvantage.

Usually; when living without; you begin to ponder about getting to a prosthetic.

Your nerves being the determining focus of your next action.

I encourage you all to watch the video, and perhaps maybe you all can relate to the message!

Infallible Gestures – Travel To Nola

Given by the immutable realizations of primitive presentations, one has only visualized the actions of physicality. What is already known is spoken by the suggestive mind. When one bears the fruit off of the tree, a voice will command words repeating after growth and intention. (1+1+1 is 3) There is no denial upon the posture of every position of the business. One has become possessed with a silence due to the arrangement of infallible gestures. Being unable to pronounce the poses and significant details of fashion; there is only the undeniable reality of subjective judgment.For a little while.

In the quality of time and definition, there is room for space and acknowledgment of Silence.

I traveled to Nola to BREATHE because virtually everything in Texas had me coughing! I went on a Megabus which I must add is a perfect way to travel for insanely cheap prices! I traveled with my sister and my niece, ROUND-TRIP from Dallas Texas – Houston Texas – New Orleans it cost me around 12 dollars! No Jokes! With Free Wifi, warm atmosphere, and NO Stops! They really give Greyhound a run for their money! I can go into details but I don’t want to get carried away; it was simply a blessing to find out about their site as I purchased the tickets the same day I heard about it. LOL. Imagine how cheap it is if you book in advance! So I went on my way for two weeks! July 13 – July 30!

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Being in New Orleans this time felt out of place because I did not have Miss X with me. She was with me this time last year for essentially the whole time! I stayed with my best friend Toi, whose family is my family! They treated me so well, and every day we arose to the horizon of bright and shifting stars!

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Every day was fully convinced with a practice of suspense! I never knew what to expect as the random stars collided into a mansion of promises! It’s safe to say I enjoyed everything there and it really enlarged my cheeks! I laughed so much and created memories that will remain forever! “DON’T SAY THAT PASTOR”/ PEOPLE ARE SOMETHING, YOU GOTTA TO WATCH EM’/ SHA NO/MARY HAD A BABY…OOO MY LAWD” So many things I created and resolved

“DON’T SAY THAT PASTOR”/ PEOPLE ARE SOMETHING, YOU GOTTA TO WATCH EM’/ SHA NO/MARY HAD A BABY…OOO MY LAWD” So many things I created and resolved to be there. I can’t count all of the events as they are so large and engulfed with details of information.

The bowl was full with fruition, and it was SUPER!

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Being In New Orleans demonstrated on a high scale, the passion and sincerity in the night. I was reminded of the bridge of ordinary and peculiar realizations. I never knew what to expect being there as everything was given a sense of spontaneity on levels I never imagined. Everyday, was eventful and sharpen my understanding of what it meant to be on vacation. I certainly could not breathe just around beauty, it would be more effective to carry myself in the lens of understanding. My stomach craved for more of the time that was soon going to enter another dimension. There was a time, when the shadows of echoed memories, left an innuendo of old practiced ANNOYANCE. I could not seem to grasp the gravity of why things went they way they played out. I heard so many voices, and I never knew exactly the freedom I have been given. I became paranoid at the the mention of stationary living, and I still am. Being in New Orleans brought everything to where I am now. 

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At the time when I heard the ‘Infallible Gestures’ come to me, I really did not understand the extent of what it meant, because I was possessed with a silence at the time. Now this silence has ceased, and I have realized the unmistakable presence of those things which have remained in motion. I know now, not to share with everyone your business as some may become like the media, leeching to whatever hint, to assume and create reason why they KNOW where you should go and what you should say. These gestures which are authentic are unable to be removed due to their eternal motion. It’s the story of love which convinced me to hold to those things which reasoning has no time for. We can’t reason the cause of anger all of the time, we say its gesture and we often conceive a thought based on it’s life. but truly it’s all a rotational of landscaping.

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Summarized Notion of Thought: As the gestures move and speak on a level of love, fully speak to the relation of strategies. Don’t be afraid to use the color from above, extend mercy and follow in the execution of Justice. As the planets come to find themselves of the orbits of your universe, PLANET and write it down so that the lesson may involve itself in your heart. As hesitation creeps in the heart of a suggestion prediction, remind yourself of the one who is love, the one who starts and ends; in the middle of your wonder. Alpha and Omega, knowing in faith and grace we are kept in security!