seeking…(Like A Lake)

the things i wished to do, i no longer care for
the places i wanted to travel, i can’t see as reasonable any more
is it because the covid numbers are spiking up?
or the doors which refuse me by slamming shut?

i wanna cry but don’t know why
i’m blanked in space
trying to rectify my face
i’m feeling numb, sad, and displaced
feeling alone in a ‘home’ that does not belong to me
wishing to paint with lens carefully and responsibly

while, cutting off those thrills which made it easy on my heart
i rather now be torn apart
by the very thing that’s eating me inside
it’s unnamed, unable to be framed, and thrives by the constant rain
that is to say : my crying tears are attempting to unmask my fears

although: stuck in a rut of staggering associations
befuddled by contradictory operations
seeking for a friend, but instead suddenly briefed by an online stranger that this too will soon end

without a sight to see what’s really wrong
or a voice to sing in harmonic song
having the very least, while the beast inside still demands a feast!
consuming everything at the dinner table
so that the unbelievable can be told as a fable

“did you see them eating all that cake? filling their stomach like algae would a lake! they probably wouldn’t feel that way – if they were the ones who had to make, all of which would soon be left to take!”

but: it’s a lot different when you’re behind an emotional wheel seeking to safely heal
& when the transportation to feel is left to squeal

if grief had a thief, would it take like a lake? or would it restore in its proper place : salty to fresh waters which trace back to grace?

QUEEN H Y P O T H E T I C A L

these two poems are collaborative efforts : the first portion was created by the one and only Sylina Black! she’s a favorite writer of mine *not to mention – PERSON and best friend!* she managed to come up with this in very little time. she stirred the motions in the little information I gave her outside of the title. It flowed and struck a match to the very fire I needed to bring out the rest. may you find something of merit and thought from it. 

 

In a lone world
Where the whole world
Is not the sole world,
Queen Hypothetical reigns supreme.
A land where fantasy meets reality,
Queen Hypothetical is allowed to dream.
And in those dreams, creation fills a void otherwise unmet,
What if’s and possibilities run free, unrestricted, solely for the Queen, and yet,
In this lone world there lived a young duke ,
Who would not allow possibility to go unexplored.
He would not allow anyone to suffocate his dreams, no Queen nor King, Lady or Lord.
Day and night he’d dream, sharing his adventures with no one,
Fully aware of what the Queen had done.
Traipsing through the land that the Queen had called her own.
He found that in this land, the what if’s had only grown.
In love with the power of creation,
The ability to imagine if things happened only the way she’d seen,
Queen hypothetical outlawed exploration of the dream –
Barring her subjects from visiting.

– Sylina Denise

092820 QH
lashes as long as the century, some of them fell into the penitentiary!

for what is the worth of a memory, which longs to be retrieved?

the profoundness of that experience, is what causes lamentation to the bereaved !

her eye lashes were as long as the century!

*jailing her hair cells into a penitentiary!*

that’s a hunnit (not a hundred – a hunnit!) years – of lashes and flashes!

for, many of her hair strains , would often and randomly fall into her eye.

thereby, prompting her brain to spy.

for she needed to remove the burning itch inside.

she knew she had to enlarge her pupils far and wide!

she by blinking – always made sure her subjects never stopped thinking!

day by day – swaying throughout the Winter and May.

for every season, she remained with a reason.

Queen Hypothetical or King Heretical?

The measures of possibility drawn – excites the spawn to yawn.

when it comes to kings, queens, and everything in between – the state of royalty can begin to be seen:

indifference is now made ‘qualified’ by the subjugation of the rulers of this nation.

rulers which set measurements of potential realized fiction!

though the lines appear straight, the path of least resistance is not too shy from affliction.

a hypothetical equation? may fancy a decadent persuasion!

can one still crumble as the words falter and begin to mumble?

endless are the seas that begin with the question!

for the search is indeed dressed as ‘HYPE’ and the aesthetics of every queen, king, and everything in between is worn through every impression.

queen hypothetical makes expression, the lesson of any and every imagined possibility.

this may serve to remove us from the gaze of docility.

P S Y C H O enCYCLopEdia

i am reading you for what you are –

a psycho encyclopedia. 

cycles and derivatives of:

nuts.

madness.

insanity.

craze.

and

haze! 

i’ve SEEN right before my eyes, the recurring loony buffoonery; presented in the finest, most eloquent dress.

BUT, the mirror is steadily asking you: when will you allow light to bounce off of its face?

it is all about – YOU! 

who?!

YOU!

you share twin ambition, with the narcissist – just another cognate of your existence.

what only seems to matter – is how anyone can service YOU, and YOUR needs.

who gives a damn about what WE all need, right?

how often you forget, that the cards are not sheltering a masquerade?

you have set the dial.

you have called the shame.

anything you demand – it’s all yours for the taking.

just PLEASE make sure – you’re KEENLY aware of the work, that needs to be figured out, before you clock in!

you are more than welcomed to:

try.

test.

provoke.

and, foment me!

you can even rearrange the statements i make, to suit your gaslighting agenda.

memories like this aren’t forgotten.

i write a spreadsheet everyday.

but ANYWAY, shall I continue to prolong your ears, with a constitution of facts, and emotional appeal?

you stopped listening the moment I said narcissist.

so, here’s the juice and ladle:

we shall continually carry on, in FULL knowledge of what the enCLYLopEdia suggests…

you are still more than welcomed to flash your face in between the bushes if you’d like.

but as sure as my eyes can read, and my mind can process – know that we do SEE YOU, and this time around?

well, we ain’t counting.

we’ve already turned the page.

Hate & Chance

What is Hate? Well, hate is given to someone who has shown themselves uninterested in changing. Hate is an itch that must be scratched. Hate is when irresponsible to the ethics of morality (or what is seen as good).

We feel ‘hatred’ often when we are slightly inconvenienced. (It ain’t about you all the time motherfucka) But – It’s a valid feeling when it comes around. It’s almost as sweet as revenge. The passion that comes with hatred can be delightful. It would be like sticking your hands in a pack of skittles and consistently getting red, green, and peach colors. That tropical blend is an exquisite taste and so is hate on occasion! 😀

Hate is a plague and we redeem our connection to it, by divorcing it from our consciousness. Love doesn’t work with someone who can’t understand the language of love. I suppose it can but then it’s transformed into something else. Speaking to someone in riddles only works if they have lunch with the Oracle. Otherwise, riddles and witticisms may come across as nonsensical to others. (Which by then Willy Wonka should have already reminded you – that everyone who buys a ticket, WINS: Although it may not be golden – the chocolate is still good to eat!)

Love makes rooms to sympathize that some are in error and others wish to recover that which has steered off its path. If by chance hate and love work together it is through the fashion like manner of love. Love can be worn on messy bodies – but if you musty, you shouldn’t try on clean clothes. It’s better to wash clean from dirt before wearing new fabrics.

If by chance hate and love can work together – it is through the awareness of harmonic convergence. When the lights gamble with darkness. Either one of them will win at different times.
The chances that hate is seen as love are few in which case, by then…

 

Written days ago but upon the motion of right now – a sadness breeds reflection and resolution.

The Opening Quest

In preparation for further development of my book, I decided to answer several questions from one of my favorite authors Dushka Zapata.

These questions set the tone for 2018 while also inspiring me to invite you to send me questions that you have thought about existence. The goal isn’t to overthink but to answer with what you feel in the heart of the moment.

Here are my favorite 14 questions.

1. “If life had no meaning, what meaning would I create for mine?”

I’d create a meaning that would mean something to me tomorrow. A meaning that has enough nutrition to last for me and those who came after me. If no others came after me then the meaning would have to be enough to satisfy me even when I’m bored. Something to make me laugh and cry because it’s all so beautifully complex.

2. “If there was no purpose to our existence, what purpose would I give to mine to shield myself from existential despair?”

I would make it a mission to make someone think about their life and what they can do with it. I would want them to laugh at how ironic this whole game of life is. I would want to show myself and people around me how life is so short and how we should chase what gives us that rush.

3. “What matters to me? Why? And once I figure this out, can I determine an order of importance?”

Freedom matters most to me. To be at full liberty without the worry that I must stop at the disadvantage of someone’s inability to respect my equilibrium. If I could get out of someone’s way to their freedom. Establishing importance would mean to know it’s not just about me.

4. “Is there a healthy, logical correlation between my priorities and how I spend my time? If not, why?”

I give myself too much time for tasks I feel can wait. I must embed a pattern of usual, so I don’t buy into the distractions because god knows I have binged on many distractions. I think I have bought so much time because I see time as an illusion and I feel I always have time, but I’ve come to realize I don’t always have time. It’s always leaving me when I gain it.

5. “What am I afraid of? Can I learn to distinguish the fear that protects me from the fear that stops me?”

“They say everybody is afraid of something although I don’t know what actually makes me afraid now. I am drawn to the unknown and I believe fear makes us strong at times. I suppose my fear is to be consistent in the most western way of doing it. (I must always pay my bills and have enough left over) Constantly making enough that is sufficient and inspiring enough to last. The best way for me to distinguish it is to fail occasionally and not feel guilty about it.”

6.”What happens when I get what I want? Is it glorious, empty, triumphant, anticlimactic? Why?”

I usually feel content with it. Sometimes when I want something so very badly and get it – I don’t feel like it was worth the wanting. I would like to capture the gloriousness more because there’s substance in playing in that feeling. I think it becomes anticlimactic because I knew I could get it – I just didn’t think I would survive the trip to get there.

7. “What does happiness mean to me? What makes me happy and how can I capture that elusive sensation more often?”

Happiness means more laughter and learning found in simple and complex things. I think if I read more, the joy of happiness will show up more.

8. “What hurts me? How can I become stronger against what causes me to suffer? How and where can I learn to suffer less? How can I remind myself that the person who makes me suffer the most is me?”

I hurt myself when I don’t own up to my decisions and how they influence others. I should remember that I am in the driver’s seat and that my reactions can be calmer. To be mindful of silence and that words don’t always have to be spoken.

9. “What is left of me if I attempt to define myself without leaning on anything I do? I am a student, I am a writer, I am a mom, I am a manager, I am a Vice President – these are all things I do. Who am I? Where is she?”

This is a very complex one. I am here and while I am here, I want to make as much hell and fun on this trip. I observe, sleep, learn and then convert this knowledge into love for everyone around me.

10. “How can I avoid losing myself in my relationships? What are my boundaries and how do I enforce them?”

One way is to have a clear understanding that we do not belong to each other but that we are only appreciating and honoring each other’s company. That we live with the knowledge that we can together but sometimes we may steer to our own strengths by ourselves. I can enforce my boundaries by staying true to myself without shame or pressure.

11. “What do my feelings teach me about myself? If I feel anger or jealousy, can I learn not to react to these feelings but instead determine what they are trying to tell me?”

They are trying to tell me to maybe rearrange what I do not understand. To Ask more questions and to speak softly and to apologize when I’ve assumed too much. I can learn by simply remembering people are often in the same state as me. They just want clarity.

12. “What happens when I sit in silence?”

I find that the stillness in myself is still yearning to speak to myself in riddles of nothing but me, myself, and I.

13. “How can I better manage change? How can I get better at accepting how little control I have?”

Knowing that I did not choose to be born here at the time I was. Some parts are played long before I got here.

14. “How would I like to be remembered?”

“Remembered for good company with a fresh willingness to open a door that people didn’t really think about turning, making them laugh while thinking.”

If you got through all of my answers to these magnificent questions, I applaud your interest endearingly! I encourage you to answer some of these questions as well! I wanted to start 2018 with these questions because they would open up my understanding of myself and where I want to go.

I am making it a mission to write way more while reading, listening, and observing.

We can do this thing together – narrating and asking. This will help us climb the ladder for clarity among all living things!

((*Every 7th of the month from now until March – I’ll post 3 of my favorite questions (& 7 replies) that I find correlates with the book I’m working on! If you have any questions that you have asked at any time // feel free to email me at jesterj7@hotmail.com

Gradual (Not Immediate) Approximately

Are you aware of the ‘Trans-Theoretical Model’? (TTM)

It comes in 5 Stages:

(1) Pre-contemplation – When one is unaware that change is necessary.

(2) Contemplation – When one recognizes the problem but not fully committed to changing it.

(3) Preparation – When one decides a change is necessary – When one Makes an effort.

(4) Action – When one puts into motion the action to deal with the problem.

(5) Maintenance – Goes hand in hand with action – Also where urges arise to encourage a relapse into the same behaviors.

We don’t always take into account how long It takes to changing behavioral patterns. As most things in life teach us – it ain’t that simple and the complications should be honored. These steps provide a layout that reminds us of the pieces that form the full picture of recovery. Even when you’re on the last step – it’s important to keep track of progress.

It’s easy and expected to get lost on your road to recovery and it’s very plausible that you may relapse. We aren’t always understanding of this struggle but exercising empathy is one of the best traits we can use for one another. This doesn’t mean we excuse toxic behavior in favor or someone’s journey – but again to exercise empathy is a great reward.

At best we are only approximating solutions. We’re all looking through the glass dimly through scuffs and bruises. Which is close enough, TBh. We are gradually getting to where we need to be. If history serves us correctly, it takes time and failure.

Trial and error.

We can learn an awful lot if we use what’s around us to our advantage. There is a lot which is beyond our reach but so many things close to our distance. It’s better if we deal with what’s in front of us rather than overlook what’s just around the corner.

Which leads me to my next point.

When was the last time you thought about the importance of reading?

NEWS FLASH: Most folks – don’t read.

Headlines are not articles. Articles aren’t always volumes but if properly condensed you can pack a lot of information in a few paragraphs. You don’t have to travel to discover more about the people around you. Reading is fundamental and while this is clear – it’s often forgotten about. Books are becoming less and less interested in mass consumption.

The link between bad behaviors and reading inevitably cross in light of new information.

It suddenly dawned me on just how a vast many of us are indeed ‘programmed’. When I say suddenly – I don’t mean out of nowhere. It didn’t reveal itself from the blanket of nothingness. Rather – upon careful observation of our various climates and conditions. We (Humans) are a special breed of Living energies and the way we cope knowledge and information have never been easier at the dawn of this internet age.

^^ I saw this and laughed myself into a deeply thoughtful analysis which is the basis of this blog post.

How many of us are really informed because of the tools made available to us for FREE on the Internet? Water is life and So is The Internet and I’ve already talked about this before – so I won’t go too far on that.

When I think of being ‘programmed’ it’s not by some pseudo prophetic cyber chip implanted in our fingers and hands. It’s more indirect. We have far better access than we’ve ever had in history. Regardless of this, many of us are ignorant of those around us. We simply don’t know because we’re plugged into the system of paying bills and finding out what’s next to eat. This pattern of daily living can get ruthless and if you’re not stimulating your brain by renewing perspectives – like a languid body sitting constantly, you become stuck.

We may not be DEEP or Intellectual enough to break it down from the micro and macro but with the connection of knowledge, we can stay informed. Don’t know? Get up and exercise your right to ask.

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t have to be all the way there. You can approximate your way to the answer.

HmmMorocco!

The smells. The feels. The luring. The invitation. The persuasion. The price. The Africa! Morocco has been such a thrill since we landed on the soil. There’s a lot about Morocco that I haven’t fully grasped – (like the driving including donkeys, motorcycles, bicycles, and cars). However so much more about it has really inspired me.

Every day so far feels like a new adventure. There’s no real map of reason in terms of what to expect. The roads lead to narrow paths – narrated by a stray cat looking to past you into times past. It’s easy to get lost in the matrix of endless chances to buy and to experience. No amount of preparing can really put you in the place of being ready for what’s around the corner. It can literally be anything – I’ve not yet turned into an empty corner. Even the blankness of some alleys is filled with mystery and impending curiosity.

The best way I could describe it: You’d have to walk the streets to get the best experience of it. Granted, I’ve never been to the third world before this. I’m not even sure why we call it the third world. It’s the same world we live but the rules in how we live are way different. The people here seem so equipped in determining who is a tourist and who isn’t. My partner and I stick out like a sore thumb. She dresses with style and me myself – my hair turns a lot of faces! Some have called me Mr.Obama or even Rastafarian man. At any rate, some are curious in how they determine where someone is from. 😀

I’m living and that’s what it is all about. Life is meant to be shared and with good company, memories are even sweeter. Every color paired with a texture of experience is Kaleidoscopic. We have been on our toes with each moment. Prepared the best way we know how to – something you learn to expect. You can’t always negotiate the inevitable. Whether you are aiming high or low – you’ll land where satisfaction rises to the top.

Hand in hand – Experiences are treasures to the mind. You can never fail at the taste of the different spices. Learning to be educated while also growing to teach what one has gained. So much more to hand out – I’m just getting started. Ain’t it fun?

The Qualified Sum

If you’re gonna play: Rock, Paper, Scissors with me – look directly into my eyes. Only look down when it’s time to decide who won. You’re cheating if you look at the hands the whole time, Don’t debate me – on this! 😀

Games like Rock, Paper, Scissors and Tic Tac Toe (X’s and O’s) are based on specific patterns. If you learn them, you’ll be able to win depending on if your opponent makes a mistake. Worst case scenario is that there would be a tie with no winners or losers. Yay!

I find games like this fun because with enough repetition – your subconscious catches on to how the player makes their move. We don’t always win at this but if you aren’t aware of the algorithm – you’ll find yourself losing more and more. This doesn’t always favor your ego, especially if you’re used to winning.

img_6314

Some of us are so bitter when it comes to failing we revise history to our advantage. *coughs – white people* It makes absolutely no sense to do this. It just makes you a sore loser. White Supremacists, Neo-Nazis, and Confederate loving Americans are PRIME at doing this. They don’t wanna look at history for what it is but rather what they want to make out of it.

Times like now are interesting because they force us to examine the ways we cheat at excusing our behavior. We’re afraid of owning up to some of our own biases if they mean proving us wrong.

Ever caught yourself in a: “NOT ALL OF US” KIND OF MOMENT?

It should be painfully obvious that ‘NOT ALL ‘ is dumped in when talking about a group of people. I’ve been seeing a lot of statements like #MenAreTrash – previously, I would get on the defense whenever I’d hear a generality like that because ‘HEY NOT ALL MEN ARE TRASH’.

Now, I knew I had trash ways as a man and I didn’t want to look at them because ‘We all fall short’ but this isn’t the way to go about it. If you don’t fit in the scenario than keep it moving.

Some are qualified in the variables made – if you don’t fit the shoe, don’t even try to wear it. Our egos can be big and to check ourselves is the easiest thing we can do if our feelings start running amuck.

In short: We qualify which moves we make on the board. The best we can aim for is to even out. We don’t gotta get mad if it ain’t about us. One of the best things I learned from my grandmother is “Everything ain’t about you and trust me – that’s a good thing!.”

SYZYGY 21.

A solar eclipse is a lineup of the Sun, the Moon, and Earth. (Also known as a syzygy.)

The Moon, directly between the Sun and Earth, casts a shadow on our planet.

It’s something that rarely happens, but every once a while we have the fortune of experiencing it.

The Moon has to be between the Sun and Earth for a solar eclipse to occur. The only lunar phase when that happens is the New Moon, which happens to be tonight!

Where I am (Örebro, Sweden) We are unable to see the Solar Eclipse.

However, in light of this phenomenon – I wrote a poem which is featured below.

Syzygy 21

Syzygy, oh Syzygy – what a name to pronounce.

This is perhaps the reason you visit at infrequent hours.

Like the rising sun which comes to return a promise of a new day.

These are the glories that awaken us to dream without borders.

There’s a story in the stars waiting to be heard by our steady focus.

Looking widely with enlarged renewal entrances – our perspective refreshes again.

A shower to experience – a sight to behold.

Can you taste the connections as they subtract and multiply?

The moon up above desires to know us through our changing phases.

Those patterns that we can’t predict – the moon shares the same fate.

It is now the time of the alarm again only this time, some may not hear it.

Their lunacy has become full of unforeseen reasons.

But they may take hope! For the eclipse shall come again – in the future years where they’ll be ready for it.

This time now – We’ll glance through the computer screen to awe at the impending joy of these fragile moments.

For with my senses I can feel the power and my eyes can taste the light.

The new moon is invisible from our eyes, yet this is a time where all is full and aligned.

The black moon now creates a pressing desire to be found in the key of turning graces.

Serene glistens are carried in those who can catch with their eyes – a sight to behold for a lifetime.

But if by chance you again, miss a site like this due to the arrangement of time and circumstance.

Staring at the blanket in the sky will remind you of a light that’s been here long before you got here.

The Syzygy 21 transforms passions of desire with elation into poetic song.

Morning Breath

It’s not easy finding out what to do next, it’s scary because next could mean losing what you love or even fought for. However, leaps of faith are necessary for growth.

Sometimes, you have to grow without the comfort of the familiar. If you’re only on the cusp of what’s been given to you – how do you know what can be obtained? What can be dreamed of? What can be seen for what it is?

The future is all that imagination is capable of creating. We don’t always know presently how the future works but our goals provide the map to those various destinations. There is often a gap to the places that are near and far away. Which is why setting a goal at least creates a bridge to get there.

While on the way to your destination, life offers you various moments to learn something. Some people think you’re fucked when you don’t know, however, it’s when you learn about life when you realize how fucked you are.

The mind can enter early crises of thought when you think of what you eat, drink, think, wear, feel, know, don’t know, etc.

But be encouraged cuz knowledge is power and actually protects you from the dangers of not knowing. There’s so much to know and yet so much to discover. When you open your ears to all that’s available – you’ll constantly thirst for more.

There is no shortage of what you can learn in the universe. Just the idea of the universe itself expands so much interest for me. I never get tired of learning from the stars and galaxies around me. I still don’t seem to know shit about it in detail – cuz it’s so vast and ever expanding but still, it’s still so near.

I’m an astronaut in space, tethered to observation and a think tank.

We can get so caught up in what’s happening we often don’t consider just how close we are to being bitten.

Around the corner is what’s next and what’s next may have sharper teeth and to be bitten by the venom ain’t such a bad thing. You might get paralyzed by the bite. Unfortunately, Tragedy may lead to clarity – but everything is looking up! *When you low to the ground.*

When I think about how something ‘Happened’ I always have a better way of how I could have gone around it AFTER. Hindsight renews our ability to frame what we didn’t see before. I use to spend so much time – thinking how I could have said this or said that.

HindsightJB

It seems now, the best option for me mostly is to be quiet, that way I can’t be accused of saying something when I didn’t say nothing at all. You have to pay for saying nothing tho cuz then people will think you weren’t listening. 😀

I think a reason why things happen like this is something that no one can avoid, no matter how hard they try and that’s Morning Breath. No matter how much you brush your teeth the night before. Even if you set an alarm in the middle of the night to brush – if you go back to sleep. There it is waiting for you.

When you wake up and make that first statement – if you’re too close to someone else, they’ll recognize the inescapable. Morning Breath comes without apology. You have to brush your teeth before you open your mouth to speak. You may also find someone who will tolerate your Morning Breath (for a period of time) until they even remind you about Brushing Your Teeth.

We are all alike in this way. Everyone has Morning Breath and everyone can do something before we allow others to deal with it. We can all be silent but eventually, we’re gonna wanna say something. Just make sure before you speak – you’re prepared with a proper wash. It’ll help prepare you for what happens next – no matter how hard the teeth may bite.

BaManifesto💥

What’s gained is lost.

By the measures of reduction via conversion. You can’t have a proper conversation without some kind of reduction.

Don’t let this dismay or upset you.
Life is also about the giving and the taking. Basically: you gotta pay da bills.

I know – crazy right? You got to work to survive on a planet you didn’t even ask to be in. That’s a reason to be upset sometimes.

The less you have the more is expected to be given.

Society tends to be stupid. Yeah, I think you know that by now but it’s stupider than you think. Society forces you to talk when silence is needed.

You can’t do anything that is validated anymore because if your audience reach is everyone – you’ll certainly disappoint someone.

Hence the stupidity of society – you get framed when you ain’t even the picture. You won’t be able to please everyone because some people require different lengths of a garment for what’s fitted.

If you do it – it’s a REACH. If you don’t do it – you missed the opportunity to cash in. So either way // What’s gained is lost. The flow of what’s good comes at a cost.

How well are you counting the steps to what’s gonna turn into a disaster?

It’s only a matter of time before it all hits a landslide. Then BAM – you gotta deal with the explosive manifesto.

LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST!

You can burn with the fire of the sun and drown in the water of life. Before the alarm goes off you have to make sure you’re prepared. I’m doing what I have to do so I’ll arrive on time. This doesn’t stop, parallel winds that confuse you and aim to confiscate your jewelry and chains.

Before you know it, you’re left penniless and homeless.

No place to go only hopeful dreams to fill the void in your head. If only you invested your last change – your wallet would be fat and your cards stacked. The course of life left you with only the leaves of spring.

The wind remains a charm to your destination. Like a bag in the air- you’ll fly away with a random gust of navigation. The atom then splits and the party invites you to come and groove.

I’m cool on that as long as I don’t buy into thoughts that I can’t compensate. Beyond the light – we all ache to compensate for the darkness we have not yet found.

This darkness is within us and we can’t escape the pull of its fierce reality.

From the sadness of childhood contemplation, we then reach inside our souls. These tears are found within the wishing well of our remembrance. For we can not neglect the motions that have brought conviction to the current.

Waves are set and have boarded in a resistance that must be awakened. For sleeping in the dream is an alarm to our subconscious. It’s no wonder why we react because our childhood has been tortured.

The passages of neglect have been misplaced on the shelf. A book like this is to be remembered and the mirror shows us our deepest revelations. Honest trees are in our garden and those seeds were planted decades before.

The wind blows against the branches and when the moonlight shines – the darkness returns. Only to be remembered by a shadow cast by the dim light upon the roots.

Choices – Nikki Giovanni

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Poetry unlocks the romance of words joined with a window through innuendo. Crescendo or more – there is a triple sensation of heaven by the third dimension. As far as I’m able to travel // I’m rallying the rope with a firm grip by the symbol of illustration. Words become more like a character when joined with setting and power of delivery. In poetry living in the parenthesis is safer than living by the literal lines. So, what I’m saying is inside the innuendo of the said text. Thanks to poetry -it may seem invisible // completely faded from the picture, but actually – it’s in the background hidden as an extra. They’ll get it on the way back home. Like a dream, being reminded that what they saw in intense observation was recorded by a poetic lens.

In honor of #WorldPoetryDay // One of my favorites by Nikki Giovanni – Choices. This one feels like water streaming down to my esophagus into my belly. It fills me with complete compatibility and parallel syncopation. It eases the quest, if only for a little while. Thank you, Nikki!

Tip For The Hip

Here’s a tip for the hip // dancing with the devil is sometimes fun because the party is in the moonlight. It’s not always what it seems or looks like it can be. Inside every soul is a treasure to be found, light to be illuminated and shared. Whenever you are able to give – give with honest delivery. Don’t worry too much about what you stumble on. Dip your whip!

Can You Spell A Symbol?

The invisible framework of our lives is encoded in symbols.

Everywhere we look, they’re encoded in our everyday lives.

We can be carried away into sound and that leaves us with a considerable amount of rhythm.

Symbols are the mathematics of long words and explanations.

We see them and are already familiar with the pattern and feeling.

Looking into the eyes of a SOUL means moving with rhythm to SOUND.

JESTER’S GUMBO! INCLUDING: ANTS, PENNIES, + OTHER RANDOM ROOTS!

It’s been a long time since I made a Gumbo video, but this time around I had a few more ingredients to deliver. Follow the suspense, and remember THE SMILE in the midst of all Improvised Frequency – Follow the lead, and you know, LISTEN.

 

2 Free Urself At Paisley Park 10.08.15

What made Paisley Park’s Show (10.08.15) quite Historic and Legendary for me were the sudden surprises throughout the night – which is what I aim to convey in this write-up! I talked in brief detail about this (Every Paisley Park Party with Danny L’Amour who is always there to add her joy and experience) You can check out that video by clicking HERE) I always appreciate when anyone watches and can feel as if they are there, by watching us discuss the nights at Paisley!

I was literally cooking Pasta, (Thankfully, it did not burn – I had it on low when I got the call 🙂 So there is a Private Event at Paisley Park, and I can invite some friends? I call my friends and we all scatter to get ready before we head out to Paisley Park.
We’re all in the Luv4OneAnotherRoom – DJ Kiss sets the tone, and it’s now time for The Dance.  This is when all of us dance until something happens. (The Dance continues throughout the night, as even Prince proclaims when he gets on stage DON’T STOP DANCING)
While dancing, we notice some more people show up through the back entrance. It’s Madonna’s crew – who eases into Paisley with a groove ready for the dance floor. At this point, the atmosphere just begins to become electric. Madonna shows up with an applause from the audience, and we can sense this will be a spectacular night!

For Starters, this was the first time since I have seen Prince with a different band other than 3rdEyeGirl. MonoNeon was on the bass guitar, Kirk Johnson was on Drums, Donna Grantis was on guitar, while Prince played guitar, piano, and sang.

The environment is all in unison, waiting in anticipation as Prince layers in with his fingers on the organ. It feels we have been invited to something special.

He starts off with his latest single ‘Stare‘. The bass pumps wild with MonoNeon chopping away with extreme funky precision. He opened up on the Organ, then proceeded on his guitar with rhythmic improvisation. The crowd applauded the moment he picked up his guitar! He knows we are gonna love it. Probably, not as much as he loves playing Guitar himself. He shreds on the song Guitar, telling us “I Love You Baby, but Not like I love my guitar! His chops were so clear and strong, conveying several monuments of emotion. When you thought the solo was over he found something else to bring out of it. After he finished all of his solos, he put the guitar down to head back to the piano, playing Use Me, A cover by Bill Withers – which added spice to the night.

His piano chops were easily rendered and soulfully magnetic. He changed the tempo towards to end so seamlessly in tune ready for the next number. Stratus, which came in – with a rock hard funk stimulation, which charged his band to tap into their space. Everyone was able to get in on the funk and Donna played with a blistering passion. We all had our eyes on her, as she shredded. I remember looking to my right – seeing Madonna just struck at the live performance from the band.

This pumped the set right into Ain’t About 2 Stop – which possessed a darker grunge appeal. The arrangement was similar to the Album’s version but with more space for instrumentation. Donna came back with her guitar wailing while Prince chopped around on his piano.  1,000 X’s & O’s enforced us all to return to a sense of soul and direction. His vocals sounded so clear and his falsetto could not be beaten. By the time, he went into The X’s Face, I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing. I was pleased to hear these songs in a live setting. Mono Neon added to the funk by his unique ability. He had me floored, by his timing and arrangement. He knew just where to come in. The crowd and energy were given so much at such sudden times.I think Prince knew this so he gave us a break for a while so that DJ Kiss could return back us back dancing. I think after a while he noticed our STARE as we were completely focused on the sounds ahead of us. 😀
He returned back with ‘Free Urself‘ by inviting us to dance on stage with him, which was one of the highlights of the night. We all got down and screamed with passion “FREE URSELF” We were so loud and in time, there was a moment where Prince asked “You all got your passports?! I might need to take you all on tour with me! ” Free Urself released so much energy and power out of us, we didn’t know where to go after that!?

What would top that?

The crowd dwindled to about 15 of us, and a lot of people thought he wouldn’t return on stage, but they were wrong.

About 10 minutes later, we hear Sign O’ The Times being looped – while Prince has his ax strapped on him. He chants “ooh Wee Oh, Ohh!” We all follow his direction and then he changes the tempo a bit to go into Work To Do by The Isley Brothers. He improvises with his guitar and wails out for a moment to ‘America’ which plunged us into higher heights. By the end of Sign O’ Times / Work To Do – he finishes off by saying “Thank U All! GOOD NIGHT!

We are all sweating and shocked by the night’s power and are only HUNGRY for food! He fed our souls, our feet, our spirits, and our hearts. LIKE only he could Do – AND NOW I’ve only had the time to process! One of the most extraordinary realities after leaving Paisley Park is the Process that comes afterward.The experience of that place pulls you with such thrill and fascination; while engaging the live moments – every part of you is affected. You are looking, hearing, and overall experiencing what is before you.

In Summary, A Paisley morning is a sunrise! Once, I awaken with the joy of the day, I am given the inspiration to recall the blessings music gives. Live Music, in particular, allows electricity to flow through your body, and you are often brought to spiritual recognition! What an honor and gift it is, to witness creation being tapped into by true artists.

I’m FREED!

THE DRAMA OF A COUGH

I realize drama is a narration of passionate expression.

It can have its fair share and be extra sometimes.

But, we both know we don’t have to tolerate it – even if the roots are passionate and sincere.

I’m going to drink another one, and we’ll be on our way with our day!

The Cough is Literally The Indicator To Your Inner Expressions. No Matter How Dramatic They Appear, Water Helps!

The Guest and The Artist

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I am the guest and you are the artist.

Show me what ways you will bow to my inspiration?

Serenade me with the gift of your elegance!

Write unto me – the secrets of your most vulnerable moments!

Moments in which your suffering becomes the chief conquering.

Words which can excite colors – reminding your processes, to utter refrains of contrast.

How deeply the levels go and of how they maneuver through uncertainty.

Boxes are formulated identities, intended to help us categorize.

Living against their purpose allows the individualistic mind to champion with an organism.

Even prisms of shadows are tangible.

Visibility of stories makes a constitutional frame. 

Through the expression of the artist, the guest can then sit down. For they are apart of the individual experience witnessing the ways in which the artist’s story, connects to them.

The Source of Inspiring Frustration

The Source of my frustration is realized at the awakening forms of night. I swivel because, in bed, I hear loud trains coming to remind me of my expressions. With words to shout and visions to enlight. Here the cloak of my nightly wear is worn in true uniform. The stars shine on my forms as I can now taste the energy between my words. The taste is sweet and bitter for how have I misplaced this practice for so long? Knowing in me is this desire to write and to express passion. I’ve demonstrated forms of resplendence before, but now I want to resurrect bones with the word. Juxtaposition and refrain all surmise the notions inside my abilities. My eyes clothes… They wear what fashion awaits me on the runway. My dreams seem to place me into a much more believable reality. I can grasp and unresolved the forces around me. Rectifying all of the powers which have been laid down.

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Redemption.

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You excite me and make my thoughts – spend into suspension.

All of you.

I can’t deny what I wanna make you feel.

I wanna cause your actions to form into a battle.

Literally paralyzing you into a web of sticky cream.

Then I want to get rid of your syrup by sentencing your lips with the weapon of my passion.

Pouring into you sections – I haven’t shown to anyone.

But my youthful self when I first realized, how bad I wanted a girl like you.

Badly like the oceans – I seek to calm you in the midst of your trauma.

Again I wanna become a slave to your spell.

I want you to look at me so I can surrender my reservations to you.

Giving you my jokes and camaraderie so that your laughter is a temptation of undress.

Confess!

Confess so I can heal you by the meditative forgiveness I must pardon to you.

For the blasphemy of your presence writes onto the walls the need for redemption.

If my passions resurrect a savior to your transgressions – follow me into this bliss.

Heaven is our journey and we are saints as we relinquish into the fire of paradise.

Inspired BY The Muse Of Native Land.

Alchemy Sublime (SACRIFICE)

Image Willing to light up within the chamber of enlightenment

  The question of sacrifice has always been a challenge to those anxious to keep it all

Covetousness runs deep in their veins, as they are made alive by the desire for more and with excessive ambition 

Slowly an answer is made, laying down the promise to engage the fiery depth of expression

With a dim glow, the sacrifice is made known throughout the heartbeat of compromise

It’s important to determine if it’s chemical because THE ALCHEMY discovers value sublime

Get a taste of the elixir, bask within the power of your mind

For there are mysteries and divinity in the chambers of the sacred abyss.

Surrending To The Air…….

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Giving into the soul of surrender at the heart of its releasing

Creations begin to mold the noise

Closing in on the silence which transfers between the muted awareness, levels tripping, up and down

Hallucination feels like this

I am ready to speak into the wind, to hear the rush which my breath is fixated upon

It’s a season of grace and of faith where my trust is drawn on the clouds

With no blueprint or particular design  for there are no rules of architecture for a mansion in the clouds

I build with each faint movement of air – everything becomes interwoven with my focused stare

Moon Rush

 I thought I was able to make a video from this piece I entitled “Moon Rush” but words fail to describe this, within the length of explanation. Expressions seem to emotionalize through visuals, but this night, it is meant to be read and understood. I am drawn to the consciousness of what is in the night, as creation and expressions shine so bright!

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Acknowledging the sleepless nite! O, how I remember thee!

You come and beg of me a journey of endless lines.

So here I am – flipping through the pages and my gratitude is revealed by looking at you!

O, humble night; I have been slain through the unending symmetry. 

Morning is here, by the rush of the moon.

No one truly studied the glow in the night – the sacred light that beams through the sky.

Looking in the daylight sky, she is hidden by the covering of the day and passing clouds.

Stars as meek and shy to the galaxies unknown reveal their great posture and fire.

Hollow is the night, which invites the carnal eyes who visit the nightmares of darkness. 

As if you were on fire from within.

The moon lives in the lining of your skin!

Peculiar passions of haunting depictions which write on the stars!

Elderly Terms

 

“The Accusation of elderly conviction is executed merely because of futuristic outcomes, coded by a similar disposition .”

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This accusation is deemed to qualify a sense of youthful examination, which animates the picture of believability.
If this is the impression that designs its players rightfully -who plays the roles?
 
Seize the level of immaturity and arise at your most youthful memory.
Laughing in the fortune of what lays behind and being guided by the train of obscurity.
The terms now are hereby more defined, excellence lies in the way for expression.
Signing the condition away to settle the dispute of locked away silence.
Why settle when things are going very badly?
The good times roll and the search for resembled manifestations, are just as likely to appear realistic.
This aging process is soon to end on the terms of death.
^^ I remember writing this, around this time last year.
YES. Death is apart of life.

Pregnant Gestation

“When you know it’s right, sometimes you feel like something’s coming, a gestation, almost like a pregnancy or something. You get emotional and you start to feel something gestating and magic, there it is! It’s an explosion of something that’s so beautiful, you go WOW! There it is. That’s how it works through you, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s a universe of where you can go, with those 12 notes!”
– Michael Jackson

Cloned Octupuses

I remember writing this a while back and it continues to be relevant to my life even more now. Not to say, I am a famous person by any measure, but I am STILL very social. I talk to a lot of people through the social mediums given to me but it can be extremely overwhelming.

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I love to share but I only have so many hands/scissors at one time. 😀 I look above, below, and to the side of me and there is still someone. Someone is still calling out my name. I feel like sometimes I’m in a rush to respond to everyone at the same time BUT I have to remember, to take it easy. I only have 10 fingers, and only 5 of them (Interchangeably) are used on the keyboard (Not considering my thumbs when I text message). I only have so much, and it’s always an expedition when I journey through the seas of social media. Every morning, I wake up to

Every morning, I wake up to a multitude of messages and I respond within the honor of the day. No complaints, because I am actually establishing ties and I feel very close to the entwined purpose of everyone. Sometimes though it’s like my fingers are like an octopus.

I developed a theory, called ‘Cloned Octopuses’.

An octopus is an intelligent being and it helps that, they have so many ligaments to accomplish a work!  Now, what if they were cloned? I would have so many arms to accomplish the work given to me. If you didn’t know, an octopus is very good at hiding as they mimic landscapes, as a defense mechanism.

I’m not saying, that I don’t like responding, to anyone, this just helps me explain the nature of my communication.  They are one of the most mysterious sea creatures, and I find them very fascinating!

Here is the poem, addressing what great power it would be to visualize this concept in motion.

The ligaments of connected joints are in common expression of what has been made.
A series of likeliness has developed the unique order of engraved creation.
I hear the charges of infuriated response calling out into the echoed cave.
They want an answer to scream into their thirst, of a thousand replies.
I’ve generated another copy which somehow plots the standard of a fantasy and yet the stone is entrusted into my building.
Then, there is the stoned reflection of my countenance,  which I can no longer determine is my true mirror.
I’ve given myself into the consumption of physical duty, and the shadows of myself are becoming many.
I repeat the recited prayers to exercise within divinity, as I return to a consummation of infinity.  
The registers of my symmetry are plagued by the waters.
Deeply intelligently by the skills of my distinguished nervousness.
I am slow to reply or is my reflection the result of complicated movements?
I can’t live long as my eggs are broken after birth, and my spawning leaves a lot to be desired.
I hide within the camouflage of mimicry.
I seek to prey through the lens of a changed color, to fit the mold which will give me a sense of awareness.
I am not able to be kept secure, as I am able to solve through because of my destined mobility.

Undressed Courtroom

I’ve learned that the witness of my expression, stands on trial. The judge and jury are those who whisper lies, in vain deceit! They speak the very accusation of their nature, they have not spoken the essence of what is opposite of their being. The courtroom begs for silence – as the wild arguments pursue on the tables of contract. Our pains come to intimidate us because in the face of suffering it seems like the only fate.

The law is still given in the hindsight of what is already in our minds. We can clearly speak to the writing that comes to keep us condemned. I’ve closely examined the passion that belongs to personal intimacy. Just, alone in the courtroom – Surrounded by your own fragrance & melody. As you hear these dripping sounds, taste the tip of your tongue. You stand undressed in the courtroom, and no one is embarrassed but the witness of expression.

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I can’t say that I am surprised, at the accusations. However, I’m finally able to say: The judicial consequence is not punitive – rather restorative.

Rebel Sensation

I think they HEARD us. The careful movements in which our whispers were made known appeared as rocks falling from a cliff.

I think they FELT us -we were consumed in a fire while trying not to burn down the walls which kept us secret.

I think they SMELLED us – We burned down and the ashes of our beings have created a traceable smoke that is absorbed miles afar.

I think they TASTED us – Our lingering aroma seemed to find itself on the tip of their tongue, which gave a reminiscent delight.

I think SEEN us – We tried to escape, but the nakedness of our innocence proved far too exposed than our dress desired to accomplish…

I think we know all of these things sensed rebel inclination

It’s interesting when we examine the senses that ever so closely are realized through the nature of someone’s insight. It’s quite interesting how I came up with this piece, it is a hilarious but yet so very embarrassing story. Need I explain?

I don’ think I’ll explain that! ALL I know is, after it was over, we both seemed to realize what it means to be a rebel.

Nakedness, exposure, and shame are all of these things seem to have a motivation.

 

Wrestling Silhouettes

For some reason, I’ve had to wrestle with the idea of blogging again. It’s as if my shadow has become in a fight with the notion of writing. BUT writing is the very expression to make known the emotions we all feel in our hearts. I remember once trying to measure and calculate how often I would blog online. It’s safe to say, I lost that battle a long time ago!

I also read very poignant blog posts, ENCOURAGING bloggers like myself; to continue to blog at least 3 times a week. AND this is achievable, it’s really about the desire to follow suit in encouraging others. IF I could reach one person, who feels the emotion at my fingers as I write this, it is worth it!

3 is a great start at the bare minimum to release the thoughts which dance around my head. Whether it is a quote, a message, or a simple response to what I have seen. Because truly, many thoughts dance around my head, and I truly do love to write.

This year has already been overwhelming, I have witnessed so much already, and I lay down on the floor prostrate, in gratitude. Never has there been such a wave and NEWly found guidance in my life. I long to share the very blessing that we all may see or may not see.

More importantly, I love to read other poems and writings from people who write who echo their passions. EVEN IF, That’s YOU!  I love the comfort of writing, and the incredible release and exercise it is.

So, no longer will I wrestle with the framework of the light!

It’s very easy to wrestle with what has thrown its light upon us; but why would we scoff at the light that has been given to us? We are changed through the visions of undressed creation! I want you all to be inspired as the light shines on you, to see the great aspect of love it shows us.

Given the tears flowing down your face; it’s safe to say; you’ve fallen from grace

In what you heard; the applause is diminished; while your soul now seeks for a precious gift to replenish

A gift that brings triumph, one of honor and glory; you have heard these gifts, passed down story after story

Told by those of old and young; exchanging details of goodness where love first was begun

Now you walk in the allies of the night; wishing for the story to reveal its light

Approaching a sensation of revelation; your body is then covered with undressed creation

As your silhouette wrestles the light that shines its passion – in its defeat, you scoff at the heavenly fashion

NOT ANYMORE, No more scoffing!

VOID/ Infinite Space/X

What is believed in my integrity? It’s all a pattern and cycle of old ritual. You confessed you’ve arrived and have seen the light, but you returned right back to the captivity of longing. It’s almost as if you wanted to afford damage to the landscape of collision. The impact stands at a tremendous cost. This is the weight and ruling of cause and effect. What have you to prove yourself? Why now; you must commit to your action and cherished conviction; seek a position in the tale of the void.

I have been in the tale of a void, for some time now; this is due to the eager manifestations of glory and illusion that had danced before my eyes. Being in a relationship with ‘X’ has caused me to follow from darkness and into the light. No longer am I in the void, but a place of arrival of Infinite Space.

The endless measurement of time is fully recognized in the space examined. The counting of time is banished; as now we approach a new measuring ruler.We are now given a maximized detail, which outlines what is to come. At request; our expectations are suspended and surrendered; as we give the hope of assured oblivion. The need to prioritize will not lose its grasp; as calculations are justified, due to the movement of how things are formulated. An infinite space allows this variable of identification, to travel endlessly.

I got so much to bring forth, and I ask that you stay with me as I bring all of these additions in fruition! It will be a wonderful expedition throughout the endless measurements set before me! It’s going to be Wonderful!