Storage Ghost

my eyes roll like dice, scattering probabilities spiced!
the cost of a gamble?
is scratching my head as i ramble !

whatever to the never,
‘cuz it’s not like IT intended on ever really coming through ( at least, FOR YOU)

their languished, weary confusion, was then
re-billed to my mirrored delusion!
i can either pay it, or let it go, overdraft?
after which, the picture and frame would both laugh !

‘cuz what a scene that would be, ha –
to portray : my dismay, on the table of their concern?
i much rather burn!!!
until i’m left crusted from the flickering flame...

041421 SG
fire, plants, art decor

peeling away at this smoke and ash –
forgiveness is requesting to come to pass,
but i’m too stubborn to ever remember,
that my preference for Spring is not tantamount to your December!

so i choose to remove myself like a fly, chilling against the wall.

but if you were close to my ear, i wouldn’t dismiss your call.
neither, would i smash at the annoyance of your disposition.
irrespective of how preciously, you may regard that ‘position’.

i shutter to believe : we could shoulder next to the grudge
‘cuz it wouldn’t be long until we succumb to the nudge
but,
by storing my memories to your ghost? i’ve relinquished our odds to the abyss and uttermost!

IN WHY SEE? WILDCARD!

110719 IYCWC

7 letters…

N E W Y O R K

i’ve been looking to find the words to describe my trip to NYC. this was my first trip there and i knew before i arrived – i wouldn’t see half of it. (much less a slither of what it offers) there’s so much HISTORY – so much i presumptively imagined MYSTERY, would be hard to find. this couldn’t be further from reality; as i still long, to unlock the gritty sensation that makes up this BIG CITY! 

for starters: IT’S AN ISLAND! surrounded by water. as my plane landed – i couldn’t help but marvel at all of the water this metropolis is engulfed by. many have spoken about the skyscrapers, lights, subways, people and RATS! (shout out to the whale like rat which ran in front of me and my friend!) if i could try to describe this elemental sensation of feeling, it would be in a series of acronyms. all of them representing each selection and detail of the here, now, and soon. 

most of the time when you tell people you’re going to NYC – people wanna know WHY?! you’re repetitively reminded of how EXPENSIVE IT IS! (& that’s not a lie) how it’s dirty. The Pickpocketing! how it’s being GENTRIFIED (which is absolutely the case) and many other crucial aspects to consider when traveling there or much less – if you wish to live there. What seems to be the case is that the NYC of today is nothing like it use to be. i considered all of this into focus before traveling. i didn’t want any surprises but at the same time, i expected this experience to completely invigorate my prospects….AND THAT IT DID.

i didn’t nearly see as much as i wanted but i did get to meet and spend time with some of my favorite people. as a content creator, i’ve been blessed to meet people from all over the world. many of which connect to me via my youtube videos, blog posts, and other related media i’ve made throughout the years. i barely make the ‘000’s threshold. despite this, somebody somewhere saw whatever it was. reached out. conversation was had and the lost was then FOUND. thank you all for following along! ❤

like a recipe to a delicious meal – you can count on faithful mesmerization. you know it’s gonna be good when you register with the ingredients. (POPEYES CHICKEN SANDWICH MAKE NOISE!) Sam took this quick video as I bit into the goodness. 😀

with anxiousness leading into me the next – i am sitting at the table with various cards – one of which is a…IMG_7490

SOMETHING ABSOLUTELY INSANE. (IN THE MEMBRANE) INSANE IN THE BRAIN~! i feel we are at the cusp of a significant eclipse. We are always at the dawn of something. i’ve been asking people lately, if you could name this chapter in your life, what would suffice? 

MANY words may come to mind or maybe none at all? we are in this wrestle of noise and silence and we are guided by either the impulse to remain or shatter the dishes. 

the awareness of seasonal depression is one that knocks loudly when you feel november walking hands with gusty winds. if not provided a temporary temple against such typhoons – the measure of your outfit is better DECKED with layers, scarves, beanies, gloves, AND ALL DAT! The seasons do indeed change and so must our attitude around this fact.

*SELAH*

All of us are dealing with a lot at the moment. we’re all spinning in life’s web // trying to figure it out. traveling can help expand your perception about how small our bubble is. we can always go DEEPER and HARDER (of course that comes with the upkeep of such energy) as it would seem – the world is not simple to understand, though complex, there is still the ability to search.

if we do not take such leaps and risks, we often fall prey to the usual command of the cycle. i am identifying with the ways i have become stagnant. (the lounge chair and all) it’s very easy for all of us to do. especially when your approach to life is sort of like the wind. there will always remain rules in the universe but the wise one knows when to break them or to reimagine them, in ways which best serves the situation. 

So many thunderstorms lay hostage in my mind and i’m only now breaking them free.(writing down thunderstorms means knowing also which eye of the storm is worth the explanation.) as I gaze out the window of my solitude – i find strength in writing down miscellaneous items that should be fulfilled.

whether, we are praying or actually writing a list down  – a request for improved outcomes is never dire. it can be very hard and challenging to look and examine our failures because it then creates a space of introspection. AND WHO WANTS TO SEE IN FULL FORCE A REFLECTION OF RANDOMIZED REALITY?

*Ever take a photo of yourself on accident only to find out how you really look at random seconds* 

headass
headass

NYC revealed to me that everyday can be a wildcard. every moment is a choice to imagine and fulfill. the scratch continues to inform the reason – what is the source of this irritation? can we be tongue tied with reason and delusional thinking all at once? What better pathway to clarity than a series of questions and guesses?

i’m finding my voice while still lounging in a marshmallow chair. The fight to keep it going and to just let things fall as they go is a CONSTANT BATTLE. when you see how things are // how they can be // how they were // how they feel now – the rabbit hole continues…

faded shades of multi-colored attempts and possibilities that never made it down the runway. clothes just hanging in the closet waiting to be worn for the right occasion. yet, the occasion never comes because you are waiting for it instead of just stepping into the wildcard.

here is where it gets even more challenging – the reality of failure can cause extreme lost.

but now i’m at a point where i crave deduction. i believe somethings should be lost and exempt. when examining everything we receive on the constant bases – sure some things would benefit being off the menu. By losing, we are gaining the space to acquire more. carrying too much means losing the energy to do anything with what you got.

i know now that my ramble has opened a different scene – I have escaped in a place I like to deem the random collisions of thought. (mental craze!) i am in a visible crossroads. a place where colors and shapes have had more voice than literal words. only now, these words must come to life and find motion in the physical.

imagination gives birth to ever changing scenarios. additions and deductions are a part of the cycle – the words continue and the pen never runs out.

READY OR NOT = it is coming. i don’t know what ‘IT’ may be to you but it’s coming. a confirming realization that speaks with no words only silent affirmation. like a head nodding to a beat that’s beating on the 2n4. it’s closer – by saying yes to the wildcard of selection. we are placed in a position to connect with the variations of outcome and proceed accordingly.

REQUESTS // CAFÉ

The following script is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…’ which is due to release at the beginning of 2019.

Double D: Hey, Mike can you buy me some food because I’m hungry and I ain’t got the money.

Mike: Sorry Double D, I ain’t got it like that – I just got enough for myself.

Double D: See Mike! That’s what I’m talking about – you can’t even help anybody out without thinking for yourself! How can you be so selfish!

Nathaniel: Whoa – calm down bro, I’ll buy you something.

Double D:  Do You even know how hard it is for families to eat?! I was gonna take this food and bring it back to my family because they haven’t seen a meal in a while! We are all hungry and I can’t even request some food without someone telling me they don’t have it?! You don’t have it? What do I have?

Mike: Sorry, Double D – I just didn’t have enough for the both of us this time around.

Nathaniel: It’s ok my bros – Double D, what do you want? Pick anything you need right now and I’ll head with you to the store – and buy whatever your family needs for the week. Now follow me, bro.

Double D: Thanks Nathaniel, I appreciate you – not many understand how hard it is for people.

Nathaniel: Yo, I get that but it’s hard for people out here too. You ain’t have to call mike selfish, he didn’t have enough, and you made a scene out there – embarrassing him and that wasn’t right.

Double D: Nah but I know he had it! He clearly was bugging because he didn’t think of others.

Nathaniel: Do you hear how that sounds? He was being selfish because he told you – he didn’t have it? Reverse the script. How would you respond, if you were Mike’s Situation? You ain’t the only one going through hard times bro! Requesting for something doesn’t mean you are entitled to those requests! I can take you out on the streets to people who got it harder than you and Martha. You got kids – they grow up fast. Ruth must be 10 and Tim must be an adolescent- shit gets expensive, but we all struggling out here in some way.

Double D: Oh Lord! Sounds like your preaching man! If I had the money, I’d pass you an offering. I doubt you struggling that much if you’re willing to help me out for the week bro.

Nathaniel: Well I have enough. It’s not a sacrifice for me – but this doesn’t mean it HAS to be a sacrifice for others. Mike had only enough for himself. I have more than enough for myself and others. I’m just glad I was right behind y’all – so I could pinch in and volunteer service. I ain’t trying to preach to you but shit, no one never knows the extent of another person’s dilemma. We owe ourselves empathy-even if you’re desperate for change. What’s going to happen here one day is that you won’t always be struggling. You’re going to work it out. Martha is going to get that promotion and the both of Y’all will have enough to take care of your kids and others. You ain’t going to stay in this bad spot – it might be hard and long but shift happens.

Double D: It’s gonna take a miracle at this point. Some people never make it out of their dilemma. Remember Henry? The Postman? Well, ever since his moms died – he been struggling bad. He had to sell his house and now he’s living in a shelter. His wife left him for another life and he works a lot – two jobs and still sometimes can’t make ends meet. Good thing he doesn’t have any children, cuz shit he wouldn’t be able to contribute much of nothing to their basic needs. Some people don’t make it out even if they pull their bootstraps up and hustle till their purple in the face. I don’t want to get to that point but I also ain’t naïve to forget the sun don’t always shine in the alleys. (Especially on the 5th avenue if you know what I mean?) Haha.

Nathaniel: Yeah, we’ll winging this game of life thing! I just think we can all do better. And all of this makes me beg the question of existence. If you had my life you’d be happy for a while because you wouldn’t be stressed about necessities. Yet, you’d worry about the other things that come with my kind of life. I suppose you’re never free from troubles no matter how good you got it. What’s the point of living if we’re all going to die anyway? I read a story about a millionaire who ended his life anyway. Money doesn’t bring happiness. I suppose it can for a brief period, but happiness seems to be engineered by biology. Some people are born happier than others and that’s to no fault of your own.

Double D: Sheeeiitt. Money is energy and good money is always appreciated bro! I appreciate you Nathaniel. I guess I didn’t have to act out so aggressively to Mike. It was just the rage of me tired of being ignored. It’s all a game of time now, goes to show anything can happen when one is HANGRY! 😀 Thanks for looking out!

Nathaniel: Next time you request of a reply make sure your ROAR is not so intimating! Ha, it’s all good bro, we’re a blessing to be a blessing!

HmmMorocco!

The smells. The feels. The luring. The invitation. The persuasion. The price. The Africa! Morocco has been such a thrill since we landed on the soil. There’s a lot about Morocco that I haven’t fully grasped – (like the driving including donkeys, motorcycles, bicycles, and cars). However so much more about it has really inspired me.

Every day so far feels like a new adventure. There’s no real map of reason in terms of what to expect. The roads lead to narrow paths – narrated by a stray cat looking to past you into times past. It’s easy to get lost in the matrix of endless chances to buy and to experience. No amount of preparing can really put you in the place of being ready for what’s around the corner. It can literally be anything – I’ve not yet turned into an empty corner. Even the blankness of some alleys is filled with mystery and impending curiosity.

The best way I could describe it: You’d have to walk the streets to get the best experience of it. Granted, I’ve never been to the third world before this. I’m not even sure why we call it the third world. It’s the same world we live but the rules in how we live are way different. The people here seem so equipped in determining who is a tourist and who isn’t. My partner and I stick out like a sore thumb. She dresses with style and me myself – my hair turns a lot of faces! Some have called me Mr.Obama or even Rastafarian man. At any rate, some are curious in how they determine where someone is from. 😀

I’m living and that’s what it is all about. Life is meant to be shared and with good company, memories are even sweeter. Every color paired with a texture of experience is Kaleidoscopic. We have been on our toes with each moment. Prepared the best way we know how to – something you learn to expect. You can’t always negotiate the inevitable. Whether you are aiming high or low – you’ll land where satisfaction rises to the top.

Hand in hand – Experiences are treasures to the mind. You can never fail at the taste of the different spices. Learning to be educated while also growing to teach what one has gained. So much more to hand out – I’m just getting started. Ain’t it fun?

End Over Indulgence

This very series is symbolic – it’s not just about food. We often consume various things due to it simply being available to us. We weren’t always eating what we eat now but through habit and advertisement – sugars go through our brains which in return creates a reaction of dopamine. It’s a rush.

BUT

I’m eating better because I’m denying the invitation to eat more. (Portion Cutz)

This is the end of the series ‘A New Narrative of Consumption’. Sometimes you can eat too much but there comes a time you must consider what you are eating. Snacks ain’t bad and neither is food but sometimes you got to draw the line when you indulge at a very fast rate. The roar feeling inside our stomach – is demanding that you stop eating but it’s so good! But you got to tame the beast inside – &ENDOVERINDULGENCE

Perplexing Chocolate

Another narration of consumption! This week: Chocolate! When the chocolate is sitting on the table, you’ve been invited to eat! However, being perplexed at the very least shows attention to what can be gained. The only thing to loose would be – well, pounds. 😉

Candy Feathers – Rainbow Forgery

The colors you bring to my mind are filled with delight and cream. I can only dream and dream when my eyes go to sleep. You’re simply what I want.

Can you be obtained, and when I finally taste of your colors – will you avenge me and forge my sensation?

Ketchup is noticeably on your clothes. You eating sloppy so slow down! This Narrative of consumption focuses on the color that comes with your favorites foods. Candy invites the dream – it entices the desire to gain with its every bite, before you know it you’ll be flying high. Just make sure your colors aren’t forged.

SNACK 8000

I could eat more than my allotted portion, but I ain’t gonna do that tho – Cuz this is Snack 8000! This is the first of five more videos coming within the coming weeks of this month. A familiar but new narrative of consumption. Grab your snack but keep it at 8000! Just 2,000 away from 10,000! If you love food and snacks, this short little video is for you. It’s light hearted and only meant to encourage you to snack but keeping it a minimum.

A New Narrative of Consumption

I’ll have a plate of non-tradition, and a cup filled with refreshing delights sprinkled with passion!

The more the merrier!

May my bowl be FILLED with sweet truths.

Don’t spare the flavor lilies as I want plenty of positive vibes for refreshments.

This feast must have the finest of humorous wine.

The freshest greens of delight, where growth happens at a balanced pace.

Being filled with the food of tasty peace in my belly will energize a new narrative of consumption.

We can feed on the nourishment of graceful intentions, by simply requesting our desires.