BBBBBBBAAAAAAADDDDDDD : DAMMIT IM MAD!

dammit i’m mad! (read it backwards) 😂 but still excitingly glad to report much progress is being made on my upcoming audio book ‘WAIT / WEIGHT THE MINUTE ! TyPo Or fAiTh/ FATE ? as it turns out recording chapters of your own words is more challenging than one would imagine. all of lines changing and times rearranging rhymes. this project is both spiritual and mathematical thus various contradictions appear. (here and near) transitions // tradition

sinister // minister


last days // last daze!

But through the work, many correlations are nonetheless teachable moments. It’s all aligned // It’s not so Bad but then again it is not just BAD but BBBBBBBAAAAAAADDDDDDD!

YOSOGO: May you enjoy the different variations of BAD with this playlist!

BAD X7 Themes & Correlations

TIDAL LINK:
https://tidal.com/playlist/13ab8a12-80b3-4e89-b11d-5af6e6e30083

  1. WHY YOU WANNA TREAT ME SO BAD ? – Prince // In this case ‘Bad’ is just how it sounds. just down wrong. when I treat you so good, but you treat me so bad. that ain’t right yo!

2. WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD? – Whitney Houston // Back to feeling Sad, thought I let it go, why does it hurt me so?

3. BAD REPUTATION – Donna Summer // Always think twice! Don’t throw your love away and get into public arguments and reactionary interactions. Your reputation can’t be brought or sold but higher to this point ::: Trust your Instinct and LISTEN!

4. BAD BAD NEWS – Leon Bridges // Everything about this is smooth and lifting. The power of transitory style and grace when people get in your face. Bad bad news? nah, I’m about to turn it n2 a good thing.

5. YOU’VE GOT IT BAD – Stevie Wonder // This song is a trip. included with this song is : the flight, destination, and passing duties to ensure you a safe land. The view is ‘O’ so marvelous, so good the bad becomes good. She’s so bad, it’s good!

6. BAD – Michael Jackson // I’m Bad!! you know it AND THE WHOLE WORLD HAS TO ANSWER RIGHT NOW TO TELL YOU ONCE AGAIN : I’m So bad, I’m Smooth!!!

7. AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM – Beyonce // Beyonce sampled this song from Kilo Ali’s song (America Has A Problem (Cocaine) She changes the meaning and says : well the problem is actually her cuz she’s ‘Bad’.

“20, 40, 80, out the trap, hit it with the rap 
Put it on the map, then we right back 
Call me when you wanna get high, high, high, high 
Tony Montana with them racks 
Ivy P on my bag, double G’s on the dash 
I’m bad, I’m bad 
Tell me when you wanna get high, high, high, highBoy, you can’t get higher than this 
No 
‘Cause love don’t get no higher than this 
No, no”

Now one can for sure criticize this song for its hyper glamorization of why she’s ‘Bad’. Exploitation is definitely in the bag not just birkins and teflar bags. you can’t get racks and billions without taking from those that do the labor to make that possible. That’s the fundamental contradiction in this song, America Does Have A Problem and that’s capitalism and the violence that is required in order to sustain its existence. So how about we get ‘high’ on political education and organization that gives us the focus to change the material realities around us. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“I am” : u.r.i.s.o.p.c (statement piece)

*this was a poetic piece I created for IGF (Irreducible Grace Foundation) in collaboration with Ms. Jane and Dr. D : they both helped me to reach into that place within me – to convey sincerity and honesty through the power of breathing amidst the search of discovering who I am… this is the poetic piece I wrote out describing who I am. it has typically been difficult for me to name specifics of who I am but now, I am more assured in the discovery of ‘what’s in a name’ that I have no reason to be ashamed. blessings y’all! ❤ *

i am : Arican. who like most of us, were raised on colonized and stolen lands. (If not in location, in mind bands )

Shoutout to the AAPRP!

i come from : radical and religious sentiments! an environment which reinforced to me that my questions : were far too deep! that my interrogations of life’s contradictions were far too steep! The church, the Bible, and the Holy Ghost was our daily bread and butter, because if not in the name of Jesus – every other voice? could stutter!

Weigh The Minute! Typo Or Faith?

when you look at me : you see – brown skin, large buttons, and thick locks of hair – they’re not dreadlocks, that would imply they’re dreadful and they’re not. you will also see, your own confirmation biases, but ULTIMATELY what you see are scattered remnants of survival.

When I look in the mirror : I see a man attempting to advance a better world through struggle and the sharing of joy through creation and revolutionary politics. I see a window at odds with dialectical history // worlds interlocked unfolding, the deeper and reachable mystery.

Uniformy & RaNdOmLy : in Search of Paradise Clarity!

What you don’t see is : a man seeking to heal trauma that has flustered me. My ‘First & longest relationship was with someone who used the language of love but never matched practice with theory. I was 18, freshly graduated from high school : ready to move to another country to escape the command & rule.

I get stressed out : when I neglect to see what has been proven to be within me. when in stress, my will is often a mess out at every express, I soon begin to digress. All of these things and more can be the case, which is why instead i take a pause ______ and breathe, to make space.

I take care of myself by: breathing within and remembering the various tools i have for access. Just as sewing and writing pens are tools of connection : so is breathing. i like to breathe using the 4 for 4 method.

4 4 4

Take 4 seconds to INHALE (through your nose)
HOLD your inhale at the top for 4 seconds
Take 4 seconds to EXHALE (through your mouth)

*4 counts in between each breathe !*

when you take deep breath it activates the vagus nerve – sending a message to yo brain that you are calm..

we win when we breathe from within. There is no end, only the will to perpetually transcend! whether your at 0 or 10 – i recommend, you find that space and begin.

::: “i say this to you, so that you know that : ACCESS is from within, when placed in an uneasy or stressful situation, remember that you have the tools and can get to that place of healing and rest.”

i often use this tool when i am stressed about something i can’t easily each or obtain. this technique is often used in combat – to calm the fighter before and after a situation. May you find it useful in any stressful situation!

Getting There

FOLLOW ME AS I CAPTURE THE ESSENCE OF THE WIND
WE MAY BEGIN TO REVEAL THE SEEDS OF MY SIN
CRYSTAL STARLIGHT HOVERING OVER YOUR HAIR
A WANDERING CALL BECKONS YOU TO SIT OVER THERE

AND NOW HERE YOU ARE NERVOUS WITH DESIRE
WISHING FOR PURPOSE TO STING YOU WITH A HOLY FIRE
THEY CAN’T SEEM TO SEE THROUGH YOUR OPEN WINDOW
THOUGH YOUR HEART BEATS WITH A CRIPPLING CRESCENDO

LOST IN AN UNKNOWN LAIR – WHERE GOVERNING BEATS REPEAT
SOUNDS GLISTEN PROVIDING RHYTHMIC MEDICINE TO YOUR FEET
A MAP OF PROMISE BEGINS TO ARISE FROM THE SMOKE
A CAT APPEARS TO REMIND YOU OF FATES JOKE

HOW DID YOU EVER FIND THIS ARENA OF CIRCUMSTANCE
WHEN DID YOU EVER FORGET THE CODE OF TRANCE
NOW YOU CAN’T HELP BUT TRIP ON A SLIPPERY BASE
THEY CAN’T UNSEE YOUR BONAFIDE FACE

THE TOKENS HAVE ALL FELL OVER INSIDE A SHALLOW CREEK
AS OUR POCKETS WERE FULL – WE COULD HARDLY SPEAK
BLESSED ARE THE DAGGERING MOTIONS FROM THE SEA
FOR WOE WAS THEE, NO LONGER ME – FOR NOW WE HAVE THE KEY

“Comb Your Pennies”

As they woke up early in the morning ready for the day at hand: They suddenly heard a voice from the distance – which grew stronger as it came close to their ears.

“Make sure to comb your pennies as you brush your dollars.”

Not much was known about them but they did gain a little sunlight whenever the sun was gracious enough to shine on them. They did not have much but enough strength to keep what could be turned into something bigger. Anytime they walked the corners of the earth – they found pieces of cloth that they connected into a bigger quilt. It didn’t matter where they were, as long as they could keep some space in their pockets. They held onto what little they had, in hope that it would turn into a dollar.

Days went by and eventually, their pennies turned into many dollars. Their hair wasn’t as wild as before. They had enough to show up to the party with a laid back do and enough details to show off how much they had saved. It didn’t take long for them to realize what this meant. Now they could brush their dollars into the deep areas of their head. The comb and brush was a reminder to take what little they had to manage what was in their control.

I heard this in a dream and I find this sentiment very important.

“Comb your pennies and brush your dollars”

I’ve always been one to recycle. A broken necklace? A wrist bracelet. A broken wrist bracelet? A chain to dangle on my trousers. Anything that breaks – will become something else before it goes in the trash can. I do this as a reminder that everything transforms. The purpose doesn’t have to be lost.

Ain’t it funny how when Black Friday comes along we feel justified in buying things for a cheaper price? If you really do the math you’ll open yourself to the scam that is really Black Friday Weekend. Most sales are 20% – 30% off the original price, which isn’t that much of a discount. It’s also convenient that this comes a month before Christmas. THIS IS NOT AN ACCIDENT.

It’s all tied to spending as most as possible for those little charms that make life easier. This also means your hair can get a little more raggedy in the process. By the time Black Friday and Christmas is over your hair will be all over the place. My suggestion to avoid crazy hair – become extremely hypothetical in situations where money is involved. I start becoming a detective searching the ins and outs of the situation.

This metaphor of pennies being combed is like dumping all of your coins out of your storage container. The moment they begin to fall out, they tend to scatter. That’s when you gotta comb them towards you. At times you get lucky and find higher currencies which is always a bonus but even if you don’t brush off those dollars. When there ain’t enough to make a quilt, you best believe you have enough fabric to make an ACCENT. A detail or two that will stand out flamboyantly. Any eye for detail can catch it.

So next time you find yourself with a few spare pieces around – consider combing all that is scattered. Once your done brushing everything together – you’ll be ready to flow with the finest of accents.

Irreconcilable Volumes (Hair)

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Then there is a variation in how things are perceived. When someone exhales what they truly believe and know based on evidence – the road becomes more narrow as the conversation takes flight. Not all volumes are reconciled when a conversation begins to trickle in the individual opposition. Instead of reacting with ferocious and maneuvering counteracting, what’s best is to present, the internal realities, which often times are dismissed. When playing the rhythm in a setting that is confirmed to rhythmic sequence.
It is not surprising to find the melody. It is, therefore, wise to clarify, the organs and functions that are often forgotten, in the name of lunacy and incoherence. The troubling taunts which pierce the thought; quantify immeasurable blindness. It is in pure joyful sounds which dare to risk comfortable statues. Every volume of inclination, citation, desperation, litigation, and exhalation is immersed in a bowl of anticipated pairing.
Yet a longing for intimacy is requested. Since there is no finalization of union; one is free to enter a space where another can come into union.
Even when you break it down, sometimes things still don’t fully ‘Click’ and measure to a sense of understanding. I’ve been looking in the mirror quite more often because I got a shape UP only a 3 days ago, and I feel like it was one of the worst decisions of my life. My hair just seemed to be working UP a good fro, and this shape UP, seemed to cut off a great deal of it off, but then I look again and I think my mind just does not want to reconcile with the change I made.
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^^ This was taken only 6 days ago, and my Afro seemed to be in reconciliation with my expectation! Since my LAST shape UP, which was in April.
I still don’t truly understand why we get shape Up’s’ it’s told they help the hair grow faster and gets rid of the dead ends, but apparently, they also make you feel like you have no hair at all! I did not get much of my hair cut, but it feels like SO much is gone. Although, when I look in the mirror, the eye can’t really say much is gone. My mind is separated from this volume. I took a picture earlier today, to measure if there is such a change and eye can’t see that BIG of a difference.
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It’s been on my mind as of late and I just wanted to share how hair, while being something with levels of volume, can sometimes be irreconcilable. You hear about this happening all the time when you regret cutting your hair because you miss it. I miss the little more I had, but it’s only a matter of time before it grows back. ALL of it, and MORE!
At least, I can realize that was THE LAST SHAPE UP, EVER! I’ll grow my hair until it comes out. I think we were meant for the Afro, so mine ain’t going nowhere! 😀