blessings // buttons y'all ~ here is where you can push the buttons of meaning and poetic interpretations of angel & angle windows of insight. peek around, there's a lot to see. (you may discover a key) For me? To sew is bestow! (buttons are like seeds) my aim is to frame THAT name : my sight is to ignite and thus write N2 PARADISE CLARITY. (for what is understanding if not for the s3arch & struggle to get there?)
What is Hate? Well, hate is given to someone who has shown themselves uninterested in changing. Hate is an itch that must be scratched. Hate is when irresponsible to the ethics of morality (or what is seen as good).
We feel ‘hatred’ often when we are slightly inconvenienced. (It ain’t about you all the time motherfucka) But – It’s a valid feeling when it comes around. It’s almost as sweet as revenge. The passion that comes with hatred can be delightful. It would be like sticking your hands in a pack of skittles and consistently getting red, green, and peach colors. That tropical blend is an exquisite taste and so is hate on occasion! 😀
Hate is a plague and we redeem our connection to it, by divorcing it from our consciousness. Love doesn’t work with someone who can’t understand the language of love. I suppose it can but then it’s transformed into something else. Speaking to someone in riddles only works if they have lunch with the Oracle. Otherwise, riddles and witticisms may come across as nonsensical to others. (Which by then Willy Wonka should have already reminded you – that everyone who buys a ticket, WINS: Although it may not be golden – the chocolate is still good to eat!)
Love makes rooms to sympathize that some are in error and others wish to recover that which has steered off its path. If by chance hate and love work together it is through the fashion like manner of love. Love can be worn on messy bodies – but if you musty, you shouldn’t try on clean clothes. It’s better to wash clean from dirt before wearing new fabrics.
If by chance hate and love can work together – it is through the awareness of harmonic convergence. When the lights gamble with darkness. Either one of them will win at different times.
The chances that hate is seen as love are few in which case, by then…
Written days ago but upon the motion of right now – a sadness breeds reflection and resolution.
I have read many books and have looked at too much recent history, to think this country was ever really great. // The origin of this country is really nationalistic for barbaric reasons. Slavery, Genocide, and capitalism. These things have been so normal to me – sometimes I have to remind myself I am actually living in a place TAKEN from Native Americans. Slaves (some are actually in my bloodlines) worked day in and day out and DID not get paid for their labor. We were instead raped, isolated, cut off from our families, and indoctrinated to believe “slaves were to obey their masters”. We were not actually considered human beings under law. While these things seem so long ago they aren’t and we are still living through the trauma of these atrocities. So no. I can’t think this country is great when the numbers speak for themselves. Reading the story connects the reality why my face curves when people talk about THIS GREAT COUNTRY. 😀
Who should I call? Is someone still awake? ‘Is Anybody Out There’ proclaims the cry that echoes the deepest caves of living. Maybe I could call my best friend or my sister who understood the story from the middle towards the end and backward at the beginning. After all, such a surprise of unannounced alerts beckons at my heart.
Once it is all said, and done; eye envisions a ghost with a weapon. With the last bullets in their machine, they could indeed annihilate my insecurity. But the question has to be asked: Are these the same bullets, of what killed the physical life, to begin with, and created the ghost?
I’ve seen it in the blame and discourse of planted dreams, which sought to arouse a response. Ever so closely, desiring an explanation that fits what was perceived. I’m speaking about ‘Spies Of Pattern’, those things which looked into the corner of expression, which detects the motion of cheating.
They really care, and the care alone; prompts an even more subtle and daring taunt. IF the spies care, shouldn’t you grant the mere eloquence of your ‘Once Known Youthfulness and Honesty?’ Remember now, “the way you once were, before the DARKNESS of DOUBTS and INSECURITIES arrested you”. Says The Spy!
The blessings and confidence that motivates the spy’s heart, to reckon with the magnitude of negativity, really astounds me. As I read the lines of what is presented ‘Frank’ to me, I can’t help but think of my once owned pattern.
My words are addressed to YOU ‘Spy Of Pattern.‘ When was the last time you felt the texture and groove scope your very feet and fingers? I remember when I danced upon its detail. I became so annoyed at its combination of acts and tendencies. I had to respond, and when I did, I made sure I reflected on how sorry and hurt I was that it happen again! DAMNED, repetition, it qualified in me the character of apologetic functions that missed the foundation.
DON’T YOU REMEMBER? JUNE, NOVEMBER, THOSE RETURNING DAYS OF RECOGNITION? WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH SORRY ANYWAYS?
SO here you are, in the same position; I’ve had my turn, now you have given your rendition. God who created the universe has an amazing class, we all belong to; some of us are still sleep in the egg of unconsciousness, but I am a part of a rebirth now.This writing started exactly, a week ago. I had no idea at the time what I was writing, but in light of what just happen; I am indeed aware! AND Am able to finish it.
I’m no longer hanging on the edges of a proposition. Surely; I have heard your dreams, and have tasted the words of your honest emotions. They came in a very late time over here, I responded once, to what appeared to be your Father. Soon after; messages came to me, back to back, begging the notion of ‘If I dare’.
“It should not take a series of weeping therapy sessions, to arrange the need for counsel.” I would say! We have been here; more commonly in the ghost state of our existence. When our life was physical only a couple of months ago, we looked into our own eyes and started the quest for logic and place of love and understanding. The difference? Well, this last time, was indeed the last time.
I’m passed the intimidation of a video, recurring dreams, or even a message that exemplified the honest feeling of your heart. We had our closure, and I’ll save your time and my will to explain your careful accusations against me. I’ve already explained who I am, In fact; the nature of my being seemed unable for you to accept; which explains the reason I left. If you rather hunt and track me because of a dream, maybe you are the one who is still truly sleeping? I could answer the various lines which are corrupted and seemingly used to catch me in the snare of the pattern.
I could make another video and explain this message, and I could simply start where you left off. I’m choosing to send out this writing as it testifies of what my eyes have seen before. Words are the HOPE which motivates our silence, that they there are indeed many characters out there enough to fill the space and void.
I want love
To roll me over slowly
stick a knife inside me,
and twist it all around.I want love to
grab my fingers gently
slam them in a doorway
put my face into the ground.I want love to
murder my own mother
and take her off to somewhere
like hell or up above.I want love to
change my friends to enemies,
change my friends to enemies
and show me how it’s all my fault.
I won’t let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me x 2
Yeah, I won’t let love disrupt, corrupt, or interrupt me anymore.
I want love to
walk right up and bite me
grab a hold of me and fight me
leave me dying on the ground.
And I want love to
split my mouth wide open and
cover up my ears,
and never let me hear a sound.
I want love to,
forget that you offended me
or how you have defended me,
when everybody tore me down.
Yeah I want love to
change my friends to enemies,
change my friends to enemies
and show me how it’s all my fault.
Yeah I won’t let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me
I won’t let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me
I won’t let love disrupt, corrupt, or interrupt me anymore.
When Jack White wrote these lyrics, he explained it summarized what love made people do. It was the idea of love getting in itself, Love is not as simple as girl meets boy, and how boy loves a girl. OR even the purpose behind two individuals. If we are going to think about love. We need to look at how we sabotage ourselves and hurt ourselves. If we want love so much, why do we do what we do to hurt each other? Since love has been mentioned for since the dawning of time; our beings are attracted to it. AND, to Jack White, (AND myself I might add) This song answers it. He goes on to say, PEOPLE who are hurting you, there is love behind it. Whether it is a love of themselves, or they don’t know how to express it, it could be unrecorded love. BUT it’s love behind it…I need not answer the accusation of insecurity. doubt, disparity, or anything of the sort. Since it does not matter whether I delete the messages, or even reply to every medium that was given to me…I find the bait of its detail to be very charming but so surprising at the same time. It’s amazing how I was picked up on this before it even began, I really thank God for purpose and a song that could not be a better voice to what was spoken.
The last lines of this song are my answer.
As for the unknown, what was uniformly known, NOW is the woe of remembrance! These selective slices of infinity, uniformly seek a position. I’ve given it rest.
The rumor has been put to sleep, and the death of delusional magic has arrived.
I’ve been met with the warmth of clouds before; except they have been on the ground.
Fresh dew; appearing on the grass. These clouds have fallen down and I’ve walked through their weightless and Nonexistent feeling before.
At last; in this proclamation, every instinct of unanswered meaning will awaken.
A long sleep has plagued its awareness.
For the sake of her; the composition has been largely forgotten and deceived.
Years have gone by and have traced marks of hallucinations and ecstasy. However, the heart is placed back to the giver who created its intention. Destiny is obedient to the will of its purpose.
It’s easy to look at Valentines Day, as a day where all lovers come and remember the love they shared. BUT, love should be much more than that! IN fact, sometimes when leaving a relationship, we did not realize how long we have been sleeping. Sometimes a very hard relationship, that is not meant to last, really plagues our relationship and outlook. Now, the rumor is put to sleep, and we can now walk through these clouds! 🙂 We can awaken because the meaning has set forth. We often abandon the composition of who we are. Today is meant to be loved in nature! Go outside, and enjoy the awakening where you are!
For those of you once in a relationship, you know how it is, to cut somebody off when you realize their position has diminished. Why keep a member still around, when the membrane is poisoned?
It’s the reality that becomes even more piercing when you move according to the flow. Not everyone is suppose to be in your life for a long time, but cutting someone off still leaves a lingering. The smell is as strong as fragrance; that keeps the aroma of the room in circle. The memories are valid, but the question is what comes next!
What do you do about a memory?
Do you simply ignore its stinging, flavor?
Or direct the memory in a new direction & apply a different meaning?
As the decision is made to amputate the poisoned membrane; what becomes of this; reckons in and out.
The sting of its absence; creates a distinguished lingering that begs for attention.
When you simply cut off a once well exercised member; you are then going to live with that disadvantage.
Usually; when living without; you begin to ponder about getting to a prosthetic.
Your nerves being the determining focus of your next action.
I encourage you all to watch the video, and perhaps maybe you all can relate to the message!
The core of everything and anything is ‘Relationship’!
How can anything function if the variables are not allowed the program of authenticity?
Being loaned the hands of a quick fix can not puncture a digit that will respond to pressure.
The height of invaluable measures is being dawned in a time of deception and selfish motive.
When one cancels the logic that nature is derived from, the mono cause of its life becomes drowned in poisoned fluids.
If not for the alive veins of study and codes, we are given the software bypassed by endless paradigms.
The absurdity of blood thickens as the result is caused by the cut of a familiar knife…..
Expectations and obligations, all inside the entrance to negation. Negative, WAIT………….
S T O P.
It’s true for you this is the gospel in and through.
What I don’t understand is how someone who is in a relationship with you, can disrespect you even when they know the flow of your relationship. It’s the ultimate betrayal, to have someone ignore, the very essence of who you are, in the name of ‘Freedom’. How could you really be that free, to disrespect someone when you claim to know them? If it’s a stranger, it makes more sense, and the offense isn’t taken as much. AT least for me, I’m not necessarily shaken up when someone attacks me. It does not mean the intent and perception of my action is ignored, because obviously it still matters, but it does not hit home as much unless it’s someone who claims to have a friendship with me. It seems insane that someone can constantly attack the person you are, even when they are aware of it.
If you wish to be an iconoclast, simply because you ignored the endogenous machinery of relationship, THAT only reflects poorly on your insight.
I have no one to talk to now so I have decided my words to talk to you because you are somewhere here on earth (Aren’t you?)
No one really knows the process of how the Internet evolved to where it is now but certainly, it has given us the capacity to communicate in ways we probably never thought were possible a couple of years ago.
BUT, that is not what I want to talk about.
I want to talk about dreams in what part they play as it concerns a relationship broken or mended. I remember me and Miss X use to get these dreams all the time. Every time she dreamed, she would remember every detail of it. She always told me that there was a way for everyone to remember their dreams. Apparently, psychology and experts have come to an agreement you could. I have yet to know that formula. I always seem to remember bits and pieces, and so when someone was to ask me. I would make it up along the way where I forgot. I mean, they wouldn’t know the difference anyway, because it was MY dream. No one really likes hearing a good story, and then the storyteller stops and says. “Then..I don’t remember…”
People can deal with not remembering but they rather you add something for the sake of the story. Imagine going to a movie and right at the climax, it just stops. It’s the same feeling when watching one of your favorite shows, and the ‘TO BE CONTINUED…‘ Slaps your anticipation in the face. That sucks, but even more so; if it’s a real event you really have no clue on how to finish. That is when you start making some details up which make some type of sense. Nonetheless this morning, I remember large details from this dream. It’s speaking to me, and it makes my heart apprehensive. I remember I made a video called:
‘2 Giants Kissing In The Land Of Small Things’
This video best summarizes this dream. I made the video about a year ago, and the meaning makes sense now. I remember I heard the voice ‘2 Giants Kissing IN The Land Of Small Things’ while in my best friends car in New Orleans. It just came to me like that, so as inspiration so often does.I just went along with that voice. I wrote a little story about it and eventually, I made the video you see above.
Me and Miss X were like TWO BIG Giants kissing in the land of small things. When you think of that scenario that births out an equation of miniature or major chaos within romance! We were two large giants in our own respects and we were romantic. However, the setting was small. We were somewhat locked in a time that had to mean and where space had walls. I remember telling her – I want to be at a place where time has no meaning and space has no more walls. She always looked at us being at this place already, but it still seemed as if we were not there. In my opinion; it’s as if we wanted to believe we were there because we loved each other so. When you’re in love – imagination windows a picture of perfection or at least contentment in what is there. It windows so many elements that are not necessarily the mirror of what will be revealed.
In the dream, we met up in an exotic town, and she looked so beautiful to me. I held her and my heart sunk. We both cried and looked at each other with immense realizations that this was our final destination. I told her I love her, and she told me she loved me. We were on our way boarding a train, when her Father came, (kind of playing around with me as if he wanted to slap my hand, but then he shook his head and suckered punch me and started to laugh.) As we boarded the train it was only me and her together, and somehow our setting seemed maximized as if we could kiss in peace without the restrictions of small lands.
Immediately after this dream. I remained quiet for about an hour. Just reviewing all of this in my head. Upon reflex of this dream, I started to call her and expose my love and desire. But, I’ve been there and done that. If by any realization of reconciliation, it must be done face to face. In this digital age, it’s so easy to communicate; but it does not engage anything. Face to Face allows full emotion, and for details to paint themselves. When my money has grown in the fullness of time there lays the edge to make this land FIT for us. A place where we can come together in romance not be coming off the edge of small things. Being at a place that is shy to the motions of enlargement; which always seemed to embarrass us.
I haven’t visited any social sites pertaining to her name. Instagram being the exception as we share common friends, but I haven’t written to her in the solitude of my chants. Neither has she. I realize if the time and space will come, it will then be under the God-given ability of action. Writing this now has really welcomed me into peace. I feel so much better just reminiscing about the truth of my dreams. I hope all of you out there, can count the reflections of love in the summary of your desires. Don’t ever feel like a remote. You can program the destination you want to go. It often takes two, but before one is added You can still pronounce ‘Mono Realities’. Sometimes in the solitude, you feel the haunt and taunt. Billy Holiday told the truth in this:
‘In My Solitude’
“In my solitude, you haunt me
With reveries of days gone by
In my solitude, you taunt me
With memories that never die
I sit in my chair
Filled with despair
Nobody could be so sad
With gloom everywhere
I sit and I stare
I know that I’ll soon go mad
In my solitude
Dear Lord above
Send back my love”
When the world is sleeping, I hear the memories. When everyone is gone, and no one to talk to me. I do sit and stare..going mad! LOL. But I know the solitude days are only given when one loses focus on the motions of changing for a season. Prayer always keeps me in fellowship with my spirit and God. Say what you want about prayer; the reason we pray is to be intimate with the creator. I don’t pray out of just desperation. I’m not the one to look up to the sky when something is going wrong. I pray because of identification within the struggle. I have one to listen, and that one knows what it is I am going through.
I’ll be OK, in fact, I am going to start working sometime soon. It’s been rough finding in employment being that its summer and 100+ degrees outside. It’s 107F’ now. Crazy! However, I will make my money and move out of these walls. The time is sooner than ever, especially considering the small occupations that have now been made available. I won’t entertain the physicality or even the notion of a flirt; so many have done that before, but the planets which orbit around the sun have made their existence known by the looking into the telescope. Now we can see through the money and perseverance due to the eager want to leave. AND I will leave…AND You’re gonna See me!
Summarized Notion For Thought: I realize that the message I hear, are futuristic imaginations of reality. This is only for a little while, but in this land, I am a giant and my kiss is Mono. The chaos is only in the anticipation of arrival.