THE PARABLE OF JARGON M’BELLISH

when you’re lonely – you’ll search every languid hall for an expired season – bumping into the very reason, which provide no alibi…only treason! as i walked astray, i’ve beaten up the innocent and have accused the elderly fray.

this is a transition, which leaves me on a mission to find the utility. i contemplate whether i should continually swallow, this pill of lonesome arrival?

the system has not yet processed, the last byte of sand that’s been witched! my digital frame belongs to a name, not remembered or savored by fame. although, some scream loudly and capture with fallacious print and distorted light. my feet returns to the outdated announced fight.

here it goes again! wher3? over there – just a little closer to the edge, where i’m already hung up over the ledge. the overwhelming plea of this frequent Kabuki theatre, sends worms onto Shakespeare’s SKIN. the mere speech from these actors, makes the mind THIN!

it’s TEW MUCH! a stew rush! the bowl is full and the servings are plentiful but if i eat any more slowly, it’ll grow cold. a flavor equating to mold, cuz the code is just THAT grotesque. your tongue guaranteeing the taste of the silver screen burlesque!

when you’re lonely – you’ll sit in the rocking chair covered in a heated sweat, crying.wetting the face, which begins to trace, all of those smiles hung up and broken, into a stubborn place.

angles and angels pas(t) around you with present pretense (the future while *dense*) still bribe the clock to rock according, to a tune that is funky, or one to mock!

when the dreary seas brush you into the mush, which cause you to daydream – flush the stream and entertain the obscene! (LIKE JARGON M’BELLISH) then you will be awakened! to the siren inside your head, the remembrance is enough to awaken the dead.

as spirits of old, wander in search of a body to poke – if your bees start leaving, it’ll soon begin to feel like a joke. hocus pocus! did you look twice or not focus? herein is a story : which wears the dress of the clown, with colors magnified featuring whistles, pizzazz, and bells on your gown!

08072020 TPOJMB

On one breezy sunday afternoon, Jargon M’Bellish had a thirst for spirit. before Jargon left their home – they made sure they had the following items on:

  • hot pink n blue boho tunic (with green apple squares on each sleeve.)

  • bright orange gloves with marshmallows stickers threaded onto them.

  • royal purple shade trousers with patches of magazine cut outs, featuring various celebrities.

  • sunglasses with beige fuzziness on the handles!

when, they finally walked out onto the busy downtown street // they presumed critical eyes glancing. they were right! cuz their clothes were so peculiar. *could, Jargon M’Bellish be a distraction to passing pedestrians watching? *one couldn’t readily tell! the presumption thrilled their function. suddenly as if possessed, Jargon M’Bellish jumped 22 times, before spinning in circles, only then proceeding, to kick their right knee in the air and moon walk backwards to their destiny which was only a few blocks away.

*** not long after Jargon M’Bellish was handed their spirits and charms – they suddenly realized they didn’t bring a backpack to hold their spirit. would anyone think of them to be a drunk, while holding the brown paper bag? could that be the explanation for their boisterous behavior previously? would Jargon M’Bellish attempt; such randomized delirium before returning home again? i suppose it depends on the impending desire to be SEEN! ***

cuz when you’re lonely – you’ll scream at every voice thus silencing a life saving choice. again i say, REJOICE! for even, when words are emptied and bleak cities are filled with waste – our feet are scorned to pick up and make haste! : with the time that’s still in the room, although it lives on the ceiling – loneliness steadily pleads for healing.

when we are torn a part but simultaneously structured, our dispositions shake and we remain flustered! our feet must slow down to the yellow mustard! we’ve already stopped at the RED LIGHT, while speeding through GREEN – our vehicles ran out of STEAM.

as one shuffles through the sheets and profiles of the stranger. the destination in front of you, can’t hide from a very imminent danger.

the unusual mystery of the antediluvian tree – yields blurred mirrors screaming :

“DO YOU KNOW me?!”
WHY DO YOU FLEE?
Do YOU kNOW Thee?!”

with much more added text, crippling my speech to rhyme & flex. a formula is needed to graph where this goes next…

The Parable of Jargon M’Bellish is about what it feels like to be lonely.

JARGON = language that is characterized by uncommon or pretentious vocabulary and consulates syntax and often vague in meaning

M’= MYTHOMANE (🦷) – a person with a strong or irresistible propensity for fantasizing or exaggerating

BELLISH = to enhance / beautify (a statement or narrative) with fictitious additions, to ‘ish’ it up!

The Time Keeper (See Where You Are)

I just finished watching ‘The Time Keeper’ by Mitch Albom!

 

It’s a book with massive critical acclaim and for good reasons!

I won’t indulge each and every passage that enveloped the story but my abbreviations are heavy with a sense of parallel discovery.

 

Right after, I finished reading the book immediately as I went to lay, the song ‘See Where You Are’ by Amel Larrieux stormed within my heart. The lyrics speak of exactly,  what the book manages to explore.

Image

“It’s zippin by
Like speed of light
Or draggin painfully slow
It’s not enough
Or just too much
Either way it’s gonna go”

TIME, what truly is it all about? I’ve written very much about time, the paradox of its nature, the believability that it is given. While reading the book, what I managed to enjoy are those random slices of revelation! Mitch, often dropped knowledge as a poetry entrance, to concur with the setting of what he talked spoke about! I started to read the book backward, but I’ll manage to now quote some of my favorite slices from end to the beginning.

 

 

“Everything man does today to be efficient, to fill the hour? It does not satisfy. It only makes him hungry to do more. Man wants to own his existence. But no one owns time”

 

 

“With endless time, nothing is special. With no loss sacrifice, we can’t appreciate what we have.”

 

 

“When we’re most alone is when we embrace another loneliness / But…Hurting ourselves to inflict pain on others is just another cry to be loved”

 

“Einstein once postulated that if you traveled at an enormous rate of speed, time would actually slow down relative to the world you left behind, so that seeing that future without aging alongside it was, at least theoretically possible.

 

“He did not know that the child who asked for yesterday was now seeking to own tomorrow”

 

“But a man who can take anything will find most things unsatisfying. And a man without memories is just a shell.

 

 

“In this world, he heard a constant hum, as if a hundred sounds were being mashed into one note. He didn’t yet know this was the sound of a single slowed moment”

 

 

These were quotes that really managed to detail the moments in time, which have brought a sense of measuring eternity. The book motivated me to see where I am. Which brings me back to Amel!

What you wanted is what you have
Or isn’t it
What you are is out of your hands
Or isn’t it

Lay down your pencil
Computer off
Say not a word
Get out of your car
Step away from your desk
Don’t look at the clock
Stand there in silence

And see where you are
And see where you are
And see where you are
And do you wanna be where you are”

 

This song motivates us, to lay down what we are writing. DO WE EVEN KNOW, WHAT WE ARE WRITING? Turn the computer off, and observe the silence! This song really enveloped my thought process because, lately, that is exactly what I have been doing lately. Staying quiet and not looking at the clock. There is a lot in my life going on…But I am stepping away from my desk. Just to see where I am..I realize I don’t want to be where I am.

 

She goes even deeper in the next lyrics:

 

It’s everything
A vivid dream
Or not worth talking about
The big idea
Until it’s here
And then they’re taking the

house

What you wanted is what you have
Or isn’t it
What you are is out of your hands
Or isn’t it

 

What we often want is what we have, and many times we feel is that it is out our hands!

Ah yes
Feeling the implications
Of somebody else’s
Expectations
You could elope if you wanted to

DO you want to is the question?

2 Giants Kissing IN The Land Of Small Things (Fantasy)

I have no one to talk to now so I have decided my words to talk to you because you are somewhere here on earth (Aren’t you?)

No one really knows the process of how the Internet evolved to where it is now but certainly, it has given us the capacity to communicate in ways we probably never thought were possible a couple of years ago.

BUT, that is not what I want to talk about.

I want to talk about dreams in what part they play as it concerns a relationship broken or mended. I remember me and Miss X use to get these dreams all the time. Every time she dreamed, she would remember every detail of it. She always told me that there was a way for everyone to remember their dreams. Apparently, psychology and experts have come to an agreement you could. I have yet to know that formula. I always seem to remember bits and pieces, and so when someone was to ask me. I would make it up along the way where I forgot. I mean, they wouldn’t know the difference anyway, because it was MY dream. No one really likes hearing a good story, and then the storyteller stops and says. “Then..I don’t remember…”

People can deal with not remembering but they rather you add something for the sake of the story. Imagine going to a movie and right at the climax, it just stops. It’s the same feeling when watching one of your favorite shows, and the ‘TO BE CONTINUED…‘ Slaps your anticipation in the face. That sucks, but even more so; if it’s a real event you really have no clue on how to finish. That is when you start making some details up which make some type of sense. Nonetheless this morning, I remember large details from this dream. It’s speaking to me, and it makes my heart apprehensive. I remember I made a video called:

‘2 Giants Kissing In The Land Of Small Things’

This video best summarizes this dream. I made the video about a year ago, and the meaning makes sense now. I remember I heard the voice ‘2 Giants Kissing IN The Land Of Small Things’ while in my best friends car in New Orleans. It just came to me like that, so as inspiration so often does.I just went along with that voice. I wrote a little story about it and eventually, I made the video you see above.

Me and Miss X were like TWO BIG Giants kissing in the land of small things. When you think of that scenario that births out an equation of miniature or major chaos within romance! We were two large giants in our own respects and we were romantic. However, the setting was small. We were somewhat locked in a time that had to mean and where space had walls. I remember telling her – I want to be at a place where time has no meaning and space has no more walls. She always looked at us being at this place already, but it still seemed as if we were not there. In my opinion; it’s as if we wanted to believe we were there because we loved each other so. When you’re in love – imagination windows a picture of perfection or at least contentment in what is there. It windows so many elements that are not necessarily the mirror of what will be revealed.

In the dream, we met up in an exotic town, and she looked so beautiful to me. I held her and my heart sunk. We both cried and looked at each other with immense realizations that this was our final destination. I told her I love her, and she told me she loved me. We were on our way boarding a train, when her Father came, (kind of playing around with me as if he wanted to slap my hand, but then he shook his head and suckered punch me and started to laugh.) As we boarded the train it was only me and her together, and somehow our setting seemed maximized as if we could kiss in peace without the restrictions of small lands.

Immediately after this dream. I remained quiet for about an hour. Just reviewing all of this in my head. Upon reflex of this dream, I started to call her and expose my love and desire. But, I’ve been there and done that. If by any realization of reconciliation, it must be done face to face. In this digital age, it’s so easy to communicate; but it does not engage anything. Face to Face allows full emotion, and for details to paint themselves. When my money has grown in the fullness of time there lays the edge to make this land FIT for us. A place where we can come together in romance not be coming off the edge of small things. Being at a place that is shy to the motions of enlargement; which always seemed to embarrass us.

I haven’t visited any social sites pertaining to her name. Instagram being the exception as we share common friends, but I haven’t written to her in the solitude of my chants. Neither has she. I realize if the time and space will come, it will then be under the God-given ability of action. Writing this now has really welcomed me into peace. I feel so much better just reminiscing about the truth of my dreams. I hope all of you out there, can count the reflections of love in the summary of your desires. Don’t ever feel like a remote. You can program the destination you want to go. It often takes two, but before one is added  You can still pronounce ‘Mono Realities’. Sometimes in the solitude, you feel the haunt and taunt. Billy Holiday told the truth in this:

‘In My Solitude’

In my solitude, you haunt me

With reveries of days gone by

In my solitude, you taunt me
With memories that never die

I sit in my chair
Filled with despair
Nobody could be so sad
With gloom everywhere
I sit and I stare
I know that I’ll soon go mad

In my solitude
I’m praying
Dear Lord above
Send back my love”

When the world is sleeping, I hear the memories. When everyone is gone, and no one to talk to me. I do sit and stare..going mad! LOL. But I know the solitude days are only given when one loses focus on the motions of changing for a season. Prayer always keeps me in fellowship with my spirit and God. Say what you want about prayer; the reason we pray is to be intimate with the creator. I don’t pray out of just desperation. I’m not the one to look up to the sky when something is going wrong. I pray because of identification within the struggle. I have one to listen, and that one knows what it is I am going through. 

I’ll be OK, in fact, I am going to start working sometime soon. It’s been rough finding in employment being that its summer and 100+ degrees outside. It’s 107F’ now. Crazy! However, I will make my money and move out of these walls. The time is sooner than ever, especially considering the small occupations that have now been made available.  I won’t entertain the physicality or even the notion of a flirt; so many have done that before, but the planets which orbit around the sun have made their existence known by the looking into the telescope. Now we can see through the money and perseverance due to the eager want to leave. AND I will leave…AND You’re gonna See me!

Summarized Notion For Thought: I realize that the message I hear, are futuristic imaginations of reality. This is only for a little while, but in this land, I am a giant and my kiss is Mono. The chaos is only in the anticipation of arrival.Image