Tag Archives: Memories

RIGHTEOUS SCANDAL

the sigh that lent unspoken words, no one has ever heard. whispered prose which stirred sought to answer the blank space.

Featuring a scandal made righteous:

come here! You righteous scandal, I think you are a bit more to handle! 

But I’m willing to catch you, if you stand in the way of getting got. 

cuz’ you’re smoking hot _ I rather be denied than to not be given any chance. 

to imagine of our sweaty dance – it may be a proven “righteous scandal.”

a candle much too hot, that soon it’ll burning.

melting by the woe of learning.

how can’t eye see? what’s lit up right in front of me. 

I have no choice according to the inner doubting voice. 

but my eyes clothes with fashionable express, textures and buttons draped with incomparable dress. 

a feeling I can’t compare, as your colors endeavor to void the unfair. 

if given the opportunity , I’d renew my immunity

to refrain from the masquerade in order for a fair trade N2 a memorial street, even with callused feet – I’ll greet your direction to a formulated and poetic perfection. (even if it meant potential rejection!)

your bounce is far to like jelly. it’s making me realize why eye turn off the telly.

choosing to instead read what lies in between.

as nuance reveals what all of it may mean…

like a multi-colored photo book, my mind is far too curious to NOT look.

those succulent thighs, make me yawn thirst trapping sighs.

natural to my instinct , I can’t help but think into a deep fantasy. 

basically? my testimony is a desired ceremony in a transitional rhapsody !

featuring both you and I congregated together in full supply…

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WTM! TOF?

“Those that have an Ear, let them Hear!”

i find it curious, that when folks check in on you, they continue with wonder: “how have you been? what have you been up too? long time no talk too, what’s been happening?” however, those same people can’t / wouldn’t / haven’t – taken anytime to press play to engage in your latest creation.

🤔🧐🤨

if you want the message to relay; indeed all you need to do is press play and LISTEN! (i would really appreciate your feedback / criticisms especially if you make it through the whole thing!

this project was originally released 2 years ago as a written text, featuring 10 chapters with a lot of colorful poetry and allegory. i’ve done the difficult arrangement of writing, editing, and recording it all. There’s no ‘physical’ copy of this book yet because i really want folks to listen as opposed to flipping through the pages and missing something.

Typos notwithstanding, there’s a message! May you get through! Whether through the Angel (😇) or Angle (📐)

Blessings and thank you for everyone that has taken the time! This was done at no cost to you, but if you wish to give a love token and donation :

Cashapp : $gesturegreen

paypal: paradiseclarity@gmail.com

Zelle: jesterants@gmail.com

DEAF MCCOY

they counted it all joy, to set the fire ablaze and destroy!

it mattered very little to their anguished mind : all of the memories now spoiled rotten in time.

‘it’s just a book’ : why would one insist to read it as if they could look? thus, they burned the pages alive – claiming what was left over, was made broken, abused, and unable to thrive…”

the ghost of this feeling?

seeks a remedy of healing!

the spirit of those words cried, after the flame once stole their flesh and the pages dyed…

into a thick smoky black ink….

staining fingers until blemishes could think:

towards the water and richly lathered soap,

attempting to wash away unfettered desires, and forged hope!

what was taken may be placed again!

through a loop, appearing now and then…

by a vision or through the dream portal:

charms enlighten briefly, yet remain mortal.

a sound that went unheard, until the smoke choked the air and their third eye vision became blurred!

paying service to the record which made them nervous : they’ve relinquished all possibilities : although nearly drowning in the deep blue seas, all of the flees couldn’t hurriedly leave their dog. Was it the surface or the smog – which stalled the cog to a destabilizing fog?

this happened to be the case for Deaf McCoy!

they not knowing : the heat could extinguish their joy!

” ‘cuz what about, all of the work that was put in?” as the 3 out of 5 recommend : the enemy and friend – to sit at the table of consumed ends, the start of which may transcend, with a flamed wire which only until now has to expire!

🔥🔥🔥to all the pages and names which were written in search of the answer. they found the dancer, grooving within the melodies of a boiling heat! a burning revival – reaching towards the back alleys and crowded street!

i repeat deaf mccoy : they not knowing the heat could extinguish their joy !

P A R A D I S E? CLARITY ! (FORMULATED EXPLANATION)

CARE NOT TO ONLY READ BUT DIVE FURTHER FOR EXPLANATION? WATCH THIS INSTEAD :

20 minutes and 44 seconds, you ain’t gotta watch me. just play! ❤

what is ‘paradise’ if not for the s3arch for transparent understanding!

i’ve randomly been writing poems and symbolic gestures starting back to 2013 – in this collection of writings you’ll be able to s3arch through the many ramblings of my mind! i’ve spoken about everything from : SPIRITUALITY , food, and dREaMs & ThEir WaKiNG LiFe CoNtRaDiCtIoNs!

reading my own words have been a revelatory insight into the reason i began to seek higher understanding. it all began in early 2013 after leaving a relationship that had significantly transformed my ‘Process’ of what understanding looks like.

many o’ times, i thought i KNEW FOR SURE what i was going through. only to soon realize, my eyes missed the lies passed right in front of me. it took being told the same thing by close friends, family, and strangers for me to somehow think i was getting through…

UNTIL : I WAS LOOPED BACK INTO BACK INTO A THE WIRE! a GPS programmed to a circular circumference! here i was // saying – i got it, this time! i didn’t have the proper correlation or the education which comes with learning about love but also LIVING with someone whose narcissism is cloaked onto them, similarly to how a robe can cover a pulsating throb.

i didn’t see what was ahead of me because i didn’t realize : RaNdOmLy…the same begins with a name not belonging to a disposition of shame. IT TOOK 8 YEARS * & some change* for me to GET THROUGH!

i was searching for ‘X’ – the unknown but yet known ; cycles of stained decoration, left me in constant hesitation. refusing to move on, assuming i’d become the same pawn – set adjacent to the queen who would guess that ‘chess’ was better played if it ALL was made into a beautiful & toxic Mess!

PARADISE CLARITY has shown me out of the deepest enclaves – i can reach to understanding through the work without feeling the need to justify every correlation that led me to ‘Y’ = ‘X’ has occupied so much of my figuring out. throughout all the years and tears wherein i feared – ever knowing the peace of being alone. believing that ‘home’ – could be understood distant and way out overseas. now i see it all began with me…

^^^

except it’s not just ‘U’ but the ancestors who have always paved the path! one can easily do the math : they told you that it was a hard to do! that numbers and shapes couldn’t be understood by you! but that’s a damn lie – one can try. to reach a higher place ! where grace is already marinating in space!

THE S3arch is how one may get through! (uniformly or RaNdOmLy)

FINALLY releasing this has also allowed me to MOVE ON AND AWAY – from the pains and gains which left me bound to reason (& seasonal treason) against the truth that deeply remains.

herein my celebration, salvation is retained !

✨🌬🪜🔑🪟🪞🖤🪃🧩🚀⏳⌛️💡🧨🧹🧶🪡🧵

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN PURCHASING :

✨ Currently ONLY Paperback, The Hard Copy Was a Gift to Myself ✨

Paradise Clarity

PARADISE CLARITY is the conceptual statement in which poetry and symbolic gestures comes through : to the reader by random and uniform means. It has been divided into 7 Volumes (Years) Starting from ‘Z’ (2020) To A (2013). THIS IS A 460 PAGE JOURNEY! Most of these writings were available online via blog posts, videos, and other forms of multi-media but never given the full moment to be absorbed as a whole. Whether you choose to RaNdOmLy or uniformly flip through the pages : the search to get to transparent destination is open to whichever destination you find most useful! *PRICE INCLUDES WORLDWIDE SHIPPING. PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR SHIPPING ADDRESS OF WHERE YOU WOULD WANT THE BOOK SENT* if you have any questions or concerns : please send an email to paradiseclarity@gmail.com Blessings!

$40.00

cashapp & venmo: $gesturegreen 

i would like to thank 3v3rybody who has taken the time to read and invest all of the words i’ve spoken within 7 volumes of time. so much has already been said, factors and predictions already laid…all of y’all, everywhere n everything : BL3ssings!!! ✨✨✨

Storage Ghost

my eyes roll like dice, scattering probabilities spiced!
the cost of a gamble?
is scratching my head as i ramble !

whatever to the never,
‘cuz it’s not like IT intended on ever really coming through ( at least, FOR YOU)

their languished, weary confusion, was then
re-billed to my mirrored delusion!
i can either pay it, or let it go, overdraft?
after which, the picture and frame would both laugh !

‘cuz what a scene that would be, ha –
to portray : my dismay, on the table of their concern?
i much rather burn!!!
until i’m left crusted from the flickering flame...041421 SG

fire, plants, art decor
peeling away at this smoke and ash –
forgiveness is requesting to come to pass,
but i’m too stubborn to ever remember,
that my preference for Spring is not tantamount to your December!

so i choose to remove myself like a fly, chilling against the wall.

but if you were close to my ear, i wouldn’t dismiss your call.
neither, would i smash at the annoyance of your disposition.
irrespective of how preciously, you may regard that ‘position’.

i shutter to believe : we could shoulder next to the grudge
‘cuz it wouldn’t be long until we succumb to the nudge
but,
by storing my memories to your ghost? i’ve relinquished our odds to the abyss and uttermost!

HAHANHEHE-MF*

062120 HNHMF
MF*

if you gonna be a HA HA N HEE HEE MF

make sure you reach with the same depth – which called you, when you entered the deep. when you yelled and screamed at the obscene in your dreams! 

MOVE FURTHER

OR ELSE YOU DON’T KNOW SH*T!

you can’t even understand the breath of CONVERSATION.

much less – recognize the different kinds of tracks at the STATION.

you don’t know sh*t.

not all trains are on the same TRACK!

especially since some go forward while others go BACK.

you don’t know sh*t.

before you even listen to what has been said, you didn’t even allow yourself to be FED.

you don’t know sh*t.

FED: THE KNOWLEDGE & INFORMATION NECESSARY TO FORM TECHNIQUE! A SH*T TALKER RELIES ON REACTIONS THAT ARE WEAK.

yeah, you don’t really know sh*t.

yet you think – you know it ALL.

(whispers)

(don’t know sh*t)

yet you: justify your anger for an immediate FALL.

(don’t know sh*t)

yet you: believe you are thinking with your MIND.

(don’t know sh*t)

yet you: are walking BLIND.

(don’t know sh*t)

yet you: camouflage the parts of you – that are ME.

(don’t know sh*t)

this only means we can’t SEE.

HAHA N HEE HE = MOVE FURTHER *

TO ACTIVATE AND DIALECTICALLY ENGAGE WITH MATERIALS- ENABLING AN EVER EXPANDING CONSCIOUSNESS! it’s time to shop for more essentials. how else are we gonna grow? + whose gonna bite off from expired bread and drink the spoiled and chunky milk?
“if you gonna be a HA HA N HEE HEE MF – move further and challenge complicit behavior encouraged by the silence of your laugher. MOVE FURTHER, MOTHER FUCKER!

We have to get there by the silence of our tears. Sadness is a friend of ours. we don’t talk much to our tears as often but we’re gonna have to start inviting those tears to have a stronger communication to us. These tears tell a story that must be heard by the memories that we wanted to bury inside. Our head seeks refuge in the regurgitation of discs that have been scratched. Remembering is a hard deal because life is revived in those sad experiences. Our company is fragile throughout these confrontations. In our youth, we are unaware of the effects it would have on us. Today is payday. Every day we look into the eyes of trauma, we’re coughed with responsibility. we’re paying the toll. It’s worth the investment but we’re not held in any debt. Underneath all of the sadness and anger // unspoken trauma lingers in a dark place.

i’d say one thing we can do as brothers is ALWAYS call out every foul thing we see our brothers do / say. there’s an awful lot of complicity. it’s hidden and a lot of it is either laughed off or justified behind our acceptance of that person. we should discontinue the idea that we need to be told what can we do – when it seems obvious. every appearance of misguided complicity has to be faced for what it is. we have to be willing to really look at ourselves and be willing to hold ourselves and others accountable.

 

PLUNGE THE DISTANCE

i’m not sure what this is going… but imma let it rip! the beast has been unleashed and thus have made the people mad. they are unhappy because they are steadily sad. things have been bad. the easy rhyme comes together like roses are red, violets being blue – this post is about the space between everything and YOU.

what is it about the need to compensate what’s lost? you can obtain a little but some of it (some of the crucial pieces) are left without a home. there’s misery in the pretense to erase what’s flowing out of you. conversations trapped in thought. looking to align some form of resounding clarity – hidden by the ghosted allegiance. once it starts – it can’t be put down. it’s a reckless jump! a feckless chump- dares not challenge with fire and tenacity.

one has to reason : but to what end? to defend? even the most present and persistent ill? to what fortitude is achieved; if reasoning is done to the justification of deeply engraved injustice? the mix of something nice alongside with something toxic, provides enough disillusionment. whose gonna sound the alarm? the push is nigh to revolutionize against systematic task-forces designed to portray the vote blue regardless of who. the work, is not readily finished – time begs the sketchpad to remember the fleeting and pressing metamorphosis. the programs aligned are soon to reboot but the power must be switched on.

the human condition by and large, remains in a cyclical loop, connected to previous generations. whenever we, involve ourselves into any kind of dynamic – chemical reactions fluctuate. these reactions are elected by the intimating methods of various conjecture. no one truly knows the formulas of combustion and why there’s boom and bang! we can study the mystical properties obtained and risk combining explosively or enough to merely sizzle!

this sigh is stolen by the frustrating essence which is uneasy to remove. our power remains docile against the ever changing light. this light is one that brightens awareness of the way things go. they’re going in a way that can’t be controlled by much of anything. the circumstances we tolerate and manage, are usually stemmed in a mutual exchange. however, many times we are held hostage by the supreme and authoritarian rule. we don’t have the keys although we’ve been offered a free tour!

 

when we walk – we embark on a chilly lark. 
from new bees to the west of the seas and trees. 
green pastures from the high and low plains – freeze in the plunged distance. remnants from a broken rock, remind us : the power which comes from
shattering collisions. 
the amalgamation of the things to come are swimmingly dense to the point of pick up. they’re coasting by floating on the top, swarming in the river.

051420 PTD
FEAT. cethree, x, 35, L, m, 1, and bomb!

getting across to this destination, is to go fishing in the seas of waiting: a hook trying to bait with a pole hanging southbound. we don’t know when the link is gonna click until it bites our ear off. loud and unsettling is the message which comes with no invite. bursting and thrusting scenes which sharpen the record! how could anyone ever forget something so dramatic? the boisterous sound is enough to encourage one to listen closely or avoid confrontation all together. the mood is set but it changes with the burning candle. wax burns down and eventually it begins to trickle…

the world needs love. we all need understanding for each other. we get so many shots to get it right. following what inspires us. i don’t know about you but have you ever felt misled? maybe the clues were not adding up to your expectation or probable result?

colors and dreams
what does it mean?
can we question the rule of the obscene – without plunging too much green?

IMG_0721IMG_0732

P S Y C H O enCYCLopEdia

i am reading you for what you are –

a psycho encyclopedia. 

cycles and derivatives of:

nuts.

madness.

insanity.

craze.

and

haze! 

i’ve SEEN right before my eyes, the recurring loony buffoonery; presented in the finest, most eloquent dress.

BUT, the mirror is steadily asking you: when will you allow light to bounce off of its face?

it is all about – YOU! 

who?!

YOU!

you share twin ambition, with the narcissist – just another cognate of your existence.

what only seems to matter – is how anyone can service YOU, and YOUR needs.

who gives a damn about what WE all need, right?

how often you forget, that the cards are not sheltering a masquerade?

you have set the dial.

you have called the shame.

anything you demand – it’s all yours for the taking.

just PLEASE make sure – you’re KEENLY aware of the work, that needs to be figured out, before you clock in!

you are more than welcomed to:

try.

test.

provoke.

and, foment me!

you can even rearrange the statements i make, to suit your gaslighting agenda.

memories like this aren’t forgotten.

i write a spreadsheet everyday.

but ANYWAY, shall I continue to prolong your ears, with a constitution of facts, and emotional appeal?

you stopped listening the moment I said narcissist.

so, here’s the juice and ladle:

we shall continually carry on, in FULL knowledge of what the enCLYLopEdia suggests…

you are still more than welcomed to flash your face in between the bushes if you’d like.

but as sure as my eyes can read, and my mind can process – know that we do SEE YOU, and this time around?

well, we ain’t counting.

we’ve already turned the page.

Glory Story

img_3267

getting business half done is what gets us in trouble. for we should be on the move! life carries on whether we choose to caress it or not. i think it wise to be more tender to these ‘fleeting’ moments. we are swirling around other planets in this great connected yet a seemingly unconnected world of ours.

the earth is so large that our comprehension of it is very limited. the further you go out from it, you have to come back into it. the more water you drink the more you have to urinate. the more you talk…the more you need to shut up and listen. the more you know, the less you really do. everyone joins in this contradiction no matter how divorced we may seem from this reality. what is obvious to me is usually not obvious to you.

“ISN’T IT OBVIOUS THAT OBVIOUSLY, WE ARE OBLIVIOUS TO THE OBVIOUS?”

how do you get your information? does your media follow a consistent bias? does the truth matter? I’m among the first to admit, anytime i hear someone talk about ‘The Truth’ i start to see pyramid schemes and the many ways this ‘truth’ can be soiled through the exploitation of beli3f. if there is a ladder to successs, surely some are stepped on with no regard to their life. we’d like to believe the world is better than this that WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS.

all media is designed to program you and change the way you think. the internet influences through reaction and emotive dissonance. when we apply reason and detective like tendencies, we can recognize the patterns. all the while remembering: THE WORLD IS LARGE AND WE CARE MOSTLY IN THE ORDER OF OUR PROXIMITY TO CONVENIENCE.

did you hear the news?!

the gardner’s in green valley had their greatest harvest yet and the people of the city were given bags of harvest! isn’t that lovely? yeah but mostly for those in green valley. “i live in orange tunnel lake and we haven’t had a drop of rain since last november!!!”

i encourage the sharing of miscellaneous cotton candy (happiness) after all, some sweets are worth melting into the mouth. whether people are interested enough to share in your pleasures is anyone’s guess. this brings us back to the mass media and how they distribute data.

the mass media is the agency in which your information is received/believed/ processed / shared. what we like is not always indicative of what we know but what we’re feeling at particular moments. these feelings are fleeting and often forgotten until a new one comes around.

historians and anthropologists have tracked the changes in humanity and time and time we see the same habit. same time, same boogie. over and over – time and time again, there’s nothing new under the sun. the philosophers, hairstylists, and comedians all get this.

EVERYONE is arriving at different times and some didn’t eat breakfast. some partied too hard last night. and some got out of bed an hour later than expected! this means….

TRAFFIC JAM!!!

turns may lead to unexpected crashes, curves to implications and unreasonable reactions stemmed from lack of clarity. we can point to a host of reasons why we get things wrong. none of those reasons matter if we don’t seek to solve it. may we align our reactions in a solution based framework. when you feel, this gives a space to reveal the possible keys left, to be turned into doors of service.

the genre of music you like is completely independent to the customizations of society. for the country and hip-hop music fan, they have different tastes. sort of how arugula, has arguably a more peppery taste, than, spinach but when combined, a fascinating thing happens. a collision of nonsensical jargon that can’t meet up to the ladder of glory but there remains a story! for this reason, we carry on!

Cuz, I Sway So

On this journey, often you are in the passenger’s seat! You ain’t the one driving – you don’t always get to change the song.

Why?

Because, I sway so!

The way I do it is according to my flow. The method and rhyme in which I begin, starts with the middle first and then the end. For reasons unknown to you, I already found a center in the vin diagram.

The levels and turns that are to come will amaze! It may even bust you in the eye – if you ain’t careful!

Don’t worry! I don’t mean literally. I’m just getting started cuz my hands are warmer. I’m out the cold element. Now we both can arise from the darkness. Allow the light to enter by twisting the handle of the blinds. That’s right you ain’t blind!

*The Voice Inside listening to the other voice talking, sways inside*

You’ve already established that before this. I’ve been receiving the fullness of your flow since time past. I’ve had it to the extremes merely listening to your cause. Keep talking and continue to drown me in your reason. I doubt you’d stay in to watch.

Amplifying your retort. Begging me to listen because you have something to say(or sway)…Certainly, you want to share the root of your argument. I see it. I am aware. You have been on my case like white on rice. It’s inseparable. Should I give you rage? Or simply turn the page?

Scratch that. Maybe you just want me to see where you’re coming from? Shouting is a very narrow way to make a difference. I’ve let you finish by refusing to engage with you while you were making your points. You already made several. I stood there in silence to just wait for it to pass over.

I’d appreciate the same passing of words while I’m talking. What’s true is that all of that ain’t gotta be here or there. That ain’t even this rather that is on that.

So Riddle Me This… (Not Yet)

Cuz I Sway So!

0.X27 – Projected Animation

Programmed Animations are tricked by prolonged observance. Pixels are dilated through shifted numerous additions. What you see in front of you, may require close attention to the curve and exogenous details.

(Projection)

111118 InserThrough-2

The last note is present as soon as the first note is registered. The sound is already established but like lightning, what you see is whats first visualized onto the canvas.

Life is more when there’s a written memory of it being recalled. Details get lost in the space and by the time you catch up, there are only the shadows. When hidden in the darkness, the light becomes a threat. You’re only comforted by what you can tolerate. If you refuse the taste, the food is better not being served from the start. Lines and lines again, I’m listening to Duke by taking The A Train and Rocking in Rhythm!

111118 InserThrough-3
Memories recall in strange places almost as foreign is my reaction to them. For all that I’m consuming – I steadily wish to create. I am a broken shell longing to be repaired or broken up some more of the grind. It’s not that bad but how can one swim in an ocean of brokenness? There is no attempt to be whole when my being is fragmented on the oceans of what was said to hurt me.

Life is spinning and so I’m reminded that the end is not yet? I felt locked up before now I’m suddenly free. But to what end shall I meet? Must I face the music and own up to the reality? Perhaps, I should speak in fragments and isolated attempts, maybe that’ll prepare me for looking at the beast!

111118 InserThrough-4

The beast has become my friend although once a stranger. I invited its greeting into my life. One wing at a time, one potato fry at a time. My body fat will reduce as to expose my abs – but then what? Appeal? We have to switch the light bulb with precision, as to not stumble anymore in darkness.

What you see is supported by invisible bones. A structure is rarely given proper examination because gravity falls victim to fleeting attention spans.

Remember To…

111118 InserThrough-5

A Biscuit Without A Two Piece

All this time I was only a biscuit without a two piece

*and a sigh of regret*

A dry muffin that yearned to take honey out on a lease

I was despised for my inability to fulfill a hunger spell
UNTIL
The flakiness of the edge of the biscuit ended up in my teeth’s jail

oh, what the hell….”

If you don’t watch out – the aftermath is coming to await you – as soon as you finish at the last bite. You’ll have some illusion of relief because of the flavors and satisfying *feeling* of being full. Great! So you ain’t hungry no more! *but what did you eat?* Did you eat anything that grew from the ground? Or was it most of it processed with added chemicals? We are not always served the intentions we put out. A memory may have made it good from before but in the present, it doesn’t measure the same.

You can expect a room full of diverse colors and patterns the moment you invite growth into your palace. Some guests are simply no longer invited. Some even overstay their welcome. For growth comes in to cultivate the seeds that were planted. If you’re not listening to your body and honoring the requests, it’ll start reminding you. It’s just like anything – learning how different things communicate is what makes one a great communicator.

It’s like that one time you ordered a biscuit and a two piece but you didn’t realize one of the pieces didn’t connect to the full picture. Some pieces are like small fragments from a mosaic. Depending on how far you’re looking, the details make a difference in how you interpret what you’re seeing. Some are larger than you think with added calories and enticement. 

Memories can be unreliable because they switch the colors of the room. While we may think we know how to measure our memories accurately, we very often miss the mark.

It is not strange, for one to commonly order a side (sigh) order with a two-piece and biscuit.  This could be a sigh order of relief, regret, or any range of emotions.

😀

 

Th3 R3sounding 3

What is it about the number 3 – that finds itself in a charm box? Could it be that 3 is ‘lucky’? Or at least special because of the magic associated with it? “3 is the magic number, oh yes it is!” There’s a lot of reasons to believe that or to draw out connections that correspond with that idea but math has a way of spinning truth or illusion depending on which set of rules you’re using.

The number 3 will have a different association come next year but as it stands now – a flashback of experiences rush through me like lightning. Rarely do we keep up and remember all of the ways we are invested in the activity of daily living. Going to parties. Drinking with friends. Sharing a smoke with the homie. Eating a great meal with loved ones. All of this can happen at any time and become a practice of natural circumstance. If you don’t write down the way these connections are formed you can easily forget them unless they are stored properly. *At least for me, I write it down and forget about it until the occasional reading again.*

Life keeps on going and art helps us remember some of the details we have missed. 2015 was an incredible year for me and while I try not to always look back, sometimes I find myself staring at the things of the past. That year, in particular, had me hooked on purple high – which transformed so many of my experiences.

The purple vortex is so large it has a tendency to color all 2015 with a wide toothbrush as if that’s all that ever happened that year. Obviously, a lot of other things happened, but if you ask the red and blue from Minnesota – all the colors besides purple were all joined together to make a white space. (In other words, it didn’t exist as much as purple) 2015 was also the year I found out, I had to make the difference in where I wanted to go. I was no longer a passenger in someone’s car – I was the chauffeur of all my dreams.

Looking back like Lot’s wife means turning into a pillar of stone. Our memories and reactions to them are forever emblazed in statues. They live on. History is doomed to repeat itself under a new set of circumstances. It doesn’t matter what decision you make today, tomorrow may scoff at it or adjust it like a painting that’s hanging crooked on the wall.

We can’t help to correct or even re-imagine some of the actions of the past. I had a burning need to convey whatever was hot on my heart. Sometimes I succeeded at the vision while other times I just planted a seed that would mature within time. The time has come – after three years, reflection begins to take over. You look back and see those seeds and think of new ways you can remix or remaster.

Creating as a hobby is not the same as creating professionally but the focus of the creator is the same – to create and manifest. Someone may get it while others may get it only to a certain point. The begging question is – Will I be doing this even if money was not involved? Magic never hides its tricks but it may disguise itself in unfamiliar colors.

So what is it about some time periods that stick out to the creator? Maybe the details were not fully crafted or maybe – the fact that something done 3 years ago is enough to excite one to build on it currently. I should point out that 3 to me is a charm. There’s a flow of consciousness that is found in any number. Adding or subtracting can connect to any relevance one believes seriously enough to accept.

Anything can be a message or a window to a fresh perspective. What resounds me about 3 is how much we’ve convinced ourselves of its purpose in our lives.

“1 and 1 and 1 is 3 – got to be a joker, he just do what he please!”

“There is me and then there’s 3 – a trinity of Spirit, Soul, and Mind. Shell. Yoke. White. Past. Present. Future.

Cursed Belonging

Cursed be the memory that led me to you – it was an illusion

A trick of the mind which entered me like a toxic pollution

The pollinated air and well-trained disguise guided me by making me adaptive

Those allergies produced a cough and itch that’s prisoned me captive

How could I ever resist that infallible rose

A token of blossom laced with the protection of the thorns which are clothes

I’m cut by the tender clinch

Reminded yet again that everything we hold requires us not to flinch

A forged experience completely entwined by a complex tribe

If we only listened to the call of the shadows – Would this still be a bribe?

Now, I’m like a ghost wishing to belong to a world opposite of the dream

Steady longing for those sketches of empty frames which scream

Envisioning to be filled yet again with color and personality

The curse of belonging is a memory from the heart of commonality but not factuality

A.T.S.S. (Gifs And Stats)

BACK TO YELLOW! 

I’ve remastered various videos and will have them re-released this month. The funny thing about this is that most people haven’t even seen these videos so they are basically new videos that have never seen the light of day. When I look back at the numbers of my content, I’m underwhelmed about how many people never ever watched them. 😀 That’s OK though, the internet always provides a room for you. Even if discovered years later! 😀

I asked my friend Unicole to write down her thoughts on Gifs and Stats and she did an incredible job conveying this message. Check out her message here!

Lemme show you what I learned. Hold up! See! Now according to this study – you can actually be wrong and right at different times.
Ain’t That Some Shit?!

When the unexpected becomes the reality beyond your ability to see it in the near distance. When it rains on your picnic! Ain’t That Some Shit?

The ones who were supposed loose, end up winning by a landslide! Ain’t That Some Shit?

The fitness trainer eating healthy decided to cut out meat and dairy but was still eating fatty snacks and sugary treats and end up having health problems because of it. Ain’t That Some Shit?

No matter how much you study and practice, if you don’t memorize the basics, you can still fail. Ain’t That Some Shit?

We live our life talking to one another unable to see ourselves, however, people can see us and what we look like. Ain’t That Some Shit?

By invalidating emotions but granting hardcore facts, we risk losing proper interpretations of both. Ain’t That Some Shit?

If you ever had to say “Ain’t That Some Shit” at any point, please share with me! 😀

Maroon Empathy

Are we to consume the moment of inspiration the moment it hits us or when it passes away? These things happen so fast – like lightning in a mountain field – the thunder happens without our consideration. The gulf between what we are trying to say and what we should say is immense. There’s a languid disparity that seeks to fill the empty room of our fingertips. The ever so pressing desire to make sense is made a mockery when we go off topic. We are ever so silenced by the proclamation reads: “You must stay focused”. Is Focus – the only way we are able to empathize with others?

Say what you want to say but say it in time. The subjects change so rapidly just like the seasons. I suppose we need more silence and discipline. This may teach us the importance of letting go of what isn’t ours, to begin with. Memories are not always reliable currency in times of separation.

Remembering yes, but when pondering on memories too much – context is diminished at the expense of those things we selectively wish to believe. We are yet a whirlwind of contradictions that seek to provide a form of empathy. To feel the other person and to be common to their stranger association are the marks of the empath. A life of missed marks and prolonged pauses. Are we ever going to be comfortable with talking about our differences?

Reclaiming: They Said

Writing a new thing or an old thing – just as long as the flame can keep me warm. The cold flickering of life’s surprises – are we ever safe from the impending frostbite? The danger that is trapped inside of a cage of our reactions. We can choose to engage – or simply turn the page, the text remains the same morning or night. When troubles come to visit you uninvited – I encourage you to invite it in. It may make you cry or what’s worst – really tear you up inside and create a dark black hole.

I promise it’ll be worth it. You might explore things that aren’t so bad to learn. Mellow in the confusion – bake your cake and share it with someone you love. The heat is on and will soon burn into nothing but smoke. Don’t regret your time – like they say “Reclaim it”. It’s just a couple of long weeks here on earth. Some are spent wisely while others are forgotten like last weeks meal. Remember how good it was then? How much you savored the seasonings paired perfectly with a flask of wine? It was delicious and so is the memory of it – but that’s all it is now.

A forgotten moment stored only by a fraction of your senses. It’s much more – like a light to your mind is a pathway to your desires. When all is said and done – why not run? There’ll be a time you won’t be able to. When you keep on living things just get out of place.

Joints become rusty, pain becomes more practiced. “Use what you got and spend what isn’t yours” that’s what they say. That’s what ends up happening anyway, we are on borrowed tools and land. Truth be told mostly stolen – justice can’t prevail until we acknowledge this. Life is a precious commodity to some but an interesting journey to some. Living and resting. “Take what you can but always remember to leave what no longer suits you.” That’s what they said.

They have said a lot and it doesn’t all have to be in vain or to fall on deaf ears. If we know what they said – then we can live off what it may mean for now. A lot of what is said is based off myths that were created to control behaviors. This isn’t to say we can’t function behind these myths and reach some higher ground. Before you reclaim it – keep in mind some of what has been said was at a different time. The importance of context mustn’t lose its meaning due to how edgy whatever you’re claiming may feel. For example: If you wanna reclaim a concept that has been used to manipulate others – that’s gonna come with various consequences. It’s always better to be aware of the timing of such reclaims!

At any rate: Reclaim what’s yours to use for the service to others. As Maxine says it honestly with no feelings or resolve. It ain’t about offending but knowing what you can do. People have been saying a lot of things since time immortal – why not take back on what was done and remix it to your liking? All the while being aware of origin.

MaxineStraightFace
WITH THIS FACE WHILE DOING IT.

Dreaming of A World With More Zeros

I’m dreaming of a world with more zeros. A future filled with information which doesn’t end but repeats. A loop of daily routine found in a prism of ideas, to yield more discovery. How grand it would be, for our future to endlessly reach more experiences of love.

In a time where research is easily accessible – do you ever stop to think – we have enough information already? There’s so much hidden and revealed, there can’t be anything else left for us to know, right? Nah!

There’s plenty of wisdom left to uncover. The love of wisdom is what philosophy is at the center to root. The encouragement that comes from knowledge is awe-inspiring. The potential of knowledge made to good use revives and stimulates your nerves. When information is accessed properly – it aligns your memories to your eventual dreams.

Dreaming is to uncover those random thoughts that slipped through mundanity. *Let’s be Real: Life can be incredibly stagnant and predictable.* In spite of this, A picture that you briefly looked at it – can come back as a mansion of chandeliers. These can all be set to challenge and remind you of an essence meant to be explored when you wake up.

For a moment – picture every seed as a zero. When you plant zeros in the ground – you are essentially planting nothing. That’s what it seems. A small figure that expands into something Grand. All of the proper conditions must be in sync for it to yield a worthy result. Now think of it:

Dreaming of a world with more seeds.

Wouldn’t this be Grand? Where would we plant all of these seeds? They can’t all go into the ground – that would be limiting every other pocket waiting to be filled. Plant seeds in the clouds, souls, Children, etc. You’ll never have a shortage of places to plant seeds.

The more you plant those seeds – your zeros will stand among the many.

My dream is now living life with more seeds. More opportunities that await a future that’s entwined with past and present. It’s not that hard to see. A life that encourages us to plant seeds. To intend for a result which performs positivity.

ThEnDance (Sort of Dead)

”The dance at the end
Our memories and genetics – will they transcend?
What’s left of the impact we leave behind?
The matrix of life – does it fully unwind?
How are we then able to know?
When death reveals its face – do we all glow?
The insatiable hope that our actions aren’t in vain
That we’ll find a storage facility in some Human brain
Our lives are all but smoke cast into the air
Wishing to be smelled by the nose of those that dare
A compatible willingness to be remembered by the spices of our scent
Various pictures of our taste set aside as a tent in one’s mind
We all long to be remembered with a nostalgic bind
Experiences, memories, and our written history are the makeup of our lives
The dance floor is where we release – our collective archives”

HmmMorocco!

The smells. The feels. The luring. The invitation. The persuasion. The price. The Africa! Morocco has been such a thrill since we landed on the soil. There’s a lot about Morocco that I haven’t fully grasped – (like the driving including donkeys, motorcycles, bicycles, and cars). However so much more about it has really inspired me.

Every day so far feels like a new adventure. There’s no real map of reason in terms of what to expect. The roads lead to narrow paths – narrated by a stray cat looking to past you into times past. It’s easy to get lost in the matrix of endless chances to buy and to experience. No amount of preparing can really put you in the place of being ready for what’s around the corner. It can literally be anything – I’ve not yet turned into an empty corner. Even the blankness of some alleys is filled with mystery and impending curiosity.

The best way I could describe it: You’d have to walk the streets to get the best experience of it. Granted, I’ve never been to the third world before this. I’m not even sure why we call it the third world. It’s the same world we live but the rules in how we live are way different. The people here seem so equipped in determining who is a tourist and who isn’t. My partner and I stick out like a sore thumb. She dresses with style and me myself – my hair turns a lot of faces! Some have called me Mr.Obama or even Rastafarian man. At any rate, some are curious in how they determine where someone is from. 😀

I’m living and that’s what it is all about. Life is meant to be shared and with good company, memories are even sweeter. Every color paired with a texture of experience is Kaleidoscopic. We have been on our toes with each moment. Prepared the best way we know how to – something you learn to expect. You can’t always negotiate the inevitable. Whether you are aiming high or low – you’ll land where satisfaction rises to the top.

Hand in hand – Experiences are treasures to the mind. You can never fail at the taste of the different spices. Learning to be educated while also growing to teach what one has gained. So much more to hand out – I’m just getting started. Ain’t it fun?

A Reason Beyond

When you take action against a cause are you doing it because of a reason beyond? That is to say – do we factor in how we judge something based on the intent? We’re not always given insight before we make impulse judgments. (And before you think you don’t – think about how quickly we make them.) There’s very little rhyme or reason as to why people believe what they do. Therefore, we should already have the understanding of the ridiculous from the jump. Surprises don’t have to come so sudden – keep a bit of worry in your pocket at all times.

I remember I would debate with people on how morality arrived in humanity. People like Ravi Zacharias were my heroes because it made perfect sense to me that Morality came from a code. This code had an origin and this origin was from God. I had the *unfounded* belief that people couldn’t just be good. They had to have a REASON!

Ironically, I never did things just to be rewarded by some system that favored my goodness. However, I knew and know a lot of people who think that way. Who think – the only reason why their sane is because of a code they MUST follow. If it wasn’t for the moral code, they’d do what they really want to do. I find this framework somewhat terrifying because codes like plans change. When they change you either adapt or act out against normality.

We don’t always have a reason other than ‘Just Cuz’. This isn’t always sufficient for establishing the ground of our processing ability. For instance, if you’re engulfed in a debate and your argument rests on “cuz I said so’ that’s a fallacy. Now if you say ‘It is what it is’ people get pissed. There isn’t anything really wrong with that statement and I probably say it more often than not. It just is cuz things beyond my reason to understand it make it so. Doesn’t mean that I don’t have anything else to say but I accept things are the way the rock n roll of cause and effect.

Mental Hopscotch can be exhausting when the rules are based on who agrees or who doesn’t. The pressing reason to exist is sometimes enough. Owing autonomy to someone else is really the best you can. This is where respect comes in regardless of your reason. Respecting people in the perception that you consider and have empathy for any human being. Respecting their agency. This should be freely given to everybody. Now asking somebody to submit to your authority or the law – that’s the kind of stuff that is earned.

How can we make a difference in this world if we are so set against each other? At some point we’re gonna have to look each other and face what’s looking back at us. There’s no reason to be afraid. To make rash judgments and be guided by our biases. Some of us ain’t playing fairly. Life is much like driving – you don’t just drive for yourself. They’re other people in the road and some of them didn’t learn the same way or even at all. Despite this, we don’t have to subject to nonsense. There’s a rapid disease spreading currently which exists to dethrone facts.

“In school, rarely do we learn how data become facts, how facts become knowledge and how knowledge becomes wisdom.”
– Neil Degrasse Tyson

Everything always goes back to school. What we’re learning, what we ain’t. Our whole life gives us a chance to correct backward thinking. No one is safe when knowledge is available to us all. Anyone is capable regardless of where you fit on the spectrum.

There’s a reason beyond that can be found within our memories. Just where we would be without our memories? If memories suddenly vanished from our brains we would repeat the same actions over and over again. You learn based on what has happened and you make the decision to act better to avoid whatever may come against you.

What I’m saying ain’t really new from before..*Back to your regularly scheduled program.*

Yep, we all got programs and we turn off the ones our wires don’t respond to. It’s all connected and at the same time, it ain’t. It means whatever you want it to mean. Which is a lot or a little or simply nothing at all.

The Qualified Sum

If you’re gonna play: Rock, Paper, Scissors with me – look directly into my eyes. Only look down when it’s time to decide who won. You’re cheating if you look at the hands the whole time, Don’t debate me – on this! 😀

Games like Rock, Paper, Scissors and Tic Tac Toe (X’s and O’s) are based on specific patterns. If you learn them, you’ll be able to win depending on if your opponent makes a mistake. Worst case scenario is that there would be a tie with no winners or losers. Yay!

I find games like this fun because with enough repetition – your subconscious catches on to how the player makes their move. We don’t always win at this but if you aren’t aware of the algorithm – you’ll find yourself losing more and more. This doesn’t always favor your ego, especially if you’re used to winning.

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Some of us are so bitter when it comes to failing we revise history to our advantage. *coughs – white people* It makes absolutely no sense to do this. It just makes you a sore loser. White Supremacists, Neo-Nazis, and Confederate loving Americans are PRIME at doing this. They don’t wanna look at history for what it is but rather what they want to make out of it.

Times like now are interesting because they force us to examine the ways we cheat at excusing our behavior. We’re afraid of owning up to some of our own biases if they mean proving us wrong.

Ever caught yourself in a: “NOT ALL OF US” KIND OF MOMENT?

It should be painfully obvious that ‘NOT ALL ‘ is dumped in when talking about a group of people. I’ve been seeing a lot of statements like #MenAreTrash – previously, I would get on the defense whenever I’d hear a generality like that because ‘HEY NOT ALL MEN ARE TRASH’.

Now, I knew I had trash ways as a man and I didn’t want to look at them because ‘We all fall short’ but this isn’t the way to go about it. If you don’t fit in the scenario than keep it moving.

Some are qualified in the variables made – if you don’t fit the shoe, don’t even try to wear it. Our egos can be big and to check ourselves is the easiest thing we can do if our feelings start running amuck.

In short: We qualify which moves we make on the board. The best we can aim for is to even out. We don’t gotta get mad if it ain’t about us. One of the best things I learned from my grandmother is “Everything ain’t about you and trust me – that’s a good thing!.”

BaManifesto💥

What’s gained is lost.

By the measures of reduction via conversion. You can’t have a proper conversation without some kind of reduction.

Don’t let this dismay or upset you.
Life is also about the giving and the taking. Basically: you gotta pay da bills.

I know – crazy right? You got to work to survive on a planet you didn’t even ask to be in. That’s a reason to be upset sometimes.

The less you have the more is expected to be given.

Society tends to be stupid. Yeah, I think you know that by now but it’s stupider than you think. Society forces you to talk when silence is needed.

You can’t do anything that is validated anymore because if your audience reach is everyone – you’ll certainly disappoint someone.

Hence the stupidity of society – you get framed when you ain’t even the picture. You won’t be able to please everyone because some people require different lengths of a garment for what’s fitted.

If you do it – it’s a REACH. If you don’t do it – you missed the opportunity to cash in. So either way // What’s gained is lost. The flow of what’s good comes at a cost.

How well are you counting the steps to what’s gonna turn into a disaster?

It’s only a matter of time before it all hits a landslide. Then BAM – you gotta deal with the explosive manifesto.

LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST!

You can burn with the fire of the sun and drown in the water of life. Before the alarm goes off you have to make sure you’re prepared. I’m doing what I have to do so I’ll arrive on time. This doesn’t stop, parallel winds that confuse you and aim to confiscate your jewelry and chains.

Before you know it, you’re left penniless and homeless.

No place to go only hopeful dreams to fill the void in your head. If only you invested your last change – your wallet would be fat and your cards stacked. The course of life left you with only the leaves of spring.

The wind remains a charm to your destination. Like a bag in the air- you’ll fly away with a random gust of navigation. The atom then splits and the party invites you to come and groove.

I’m cool on that as long as I don’t buy into thoughts that I can’t compensate. Beyond the light – we all ache to compensate for the darkness we have not yet found.

This darkness is within us and we can’t escape the pull of its fierce reality.

From the sadness of childhood contemplation, we then reach inside our souls. These tears are found within the wishing well of our remembrance. For we can not neglect the motions that have brought conviction to the current.

Waves are set and have boarded in a resistance that must be awakened. For sleeping in the dream is an alarm to our subconscious. It’s no wonder why we react because our childhood has been tortured.

The passages of neglect have been misplaced on the shelf. A book like this is to be remembered and the mirror shows us our deepest revelations. Honest trees are in our garden and those seeds were planted decades before.

The wind blows against the branches and when the moonlight shines – the darkness returns. Only to be remembered by a shadow cast by the dim light upon the roots.

Nightmares In Jeopardy

A nightmare came to me like a morning dream. I was fooled by the bright lights from the sun and a soft voice in my ear. Yet, there I was – stuck in a thick sweat – drowning and crying out for help. Reflections of my childhood came as a series of bright flashcards. My old church // Childhood Trauma // My dog Rocky I had when I was 12 // Making food with my grandmother in the kitchen // Marbles dropping on the newly laid tile floor // When I realized I could talk in my head // The Time I tasted a rainbow on the ground for the first time.

These all came to me like bright visions all entwined in a early cold sweat.

I screamed in terror because I couldn’t understand what was happening to me. In my waking life, I’m reminded of the words and stories that have been hidden in various pockets of my mind’s eye. Stories I neglected to share because I didn’t know what they could mean or reveal for the future.

Maya Angelou said it wonderfully:

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

Inside of us are stories that are untold. Some terrifying while others are delightful. Stories that must be told, otherwise they reveal themselves through my dreams and our subconsciousness. The freedom and dare I say – vulnerability in speaking those hidden stories can mean several things for different reasons. Scars remind us of the pain that came before. The evidence of such experiences isn’t always what the mirror wants to face. These scars are a record of the numbers that have been calculated and those calculations are the visible framework of those experiences that are added and subtracted.

Upon the math of these scars which visits my dreams, I have more questions to ask. These questions narrate which direction I’m headed. The very act of writing is liberating. It entices thoughts unvisited in speaking range. It’s such a divine feeling to write. To get it right with what’s written. Feels so casual and simply conversational. Writing makes room for where there isn’t any. It just gets in the way and then before you know it – you start asking the hard questions that visit you in your nightmares. Jeopardy finds a new home in my nightmares, but it’s cool because those questions build the story inside.

8

What makes our experiences true is what gives us clarity to the lie in why we beLIEve.

 

Living The Song of Now

As much as I love listening to old music, newer music informs my understanding for what’s happening around me right at this very second. The minutes are gone away with the current month of the next album release. At a time when you need it. Music comes right on time and your brain has a fascinating way of recording the sound with your experiences.

Music has the power of stirring emotions. Igniting memories that will return to you smiles, tears, fears, pain, and gain. I encourage you to live your time and to observe the sound around you. I’m not suggesting we all love and share ALL of the music going on now, but at the very least be aware of newer sounds of N2017′. If you’re walking down a very loud street filled with activity of noise but your noise cancellation headphones are on – you’ll likely miss the person with the red suit calling out your name. *Don’t get hit!*

My channel is growing into areas expanded by music notes. I’m expanding and releasing the sound required to bring me to my next journey. I am always thinking about right now cuz that’s all we have. Right at this moment, I can choose to write about Chinese food (Which was really delicious last night:) or the longing to be filled with the silence of unicorns. See – realms unexplored might seem to threaten what reality is made out of. Come inside the melody and shake the confusion off your windows. Let it be and live with each turning day.

Living in the now is to hear newer things presently in a way you have never heard them before. New albums. New Books. New melodies – because all that is happening now is soon to be a memory. You can’t really escape those memories and the nuance of those memories returning back to you.

So you have to be careful when listening to older melodies and songs unless you wanna trip back to those times and the wealth of what comes with it.

 

Prince / A Sudden Transcendence

A flood of emotional experiences parades my mind in light of the N.E.W.S of April 21st, 2016. I don’t think any of us expected it to come so soon. On A full moon, Prince transcended this earthly dimension into a higher place. His kingdom in the heavens. It’s been an emotional roller-coaster 2.0 as everything just seems to linger at the center. If I am being completely honest, it feels as if the universe made a huge mistake.

Prince has been the soundtrack of my life for as long as I understood the depth of sound. He has a song for every emotion and experience. Which makes it extremely difficult. He’s everywhere. (The song ‘Everywhere’ from The Rainbow Children) If I want to get Mad // I think of the song ‘Mad’ composed in 1994 released on the NPG Music Club. When I listen to his songs about Joy // I then Rave Un2 The Joy Fantastic. It goes on and on. A song with every feeling and emotion which carries me into a very intense realization.

Prince is one of those artists that constantly challenges and creatively keeps you on the edges of wonder. His music has really affected me in ways deeper than any other artist has, and this expedition is eternal. There seems to be an explosion of where to go when examining the large body of work he has! If you want to know anything, look deep inside your soul!

I was taken by surprise when I realized the soundscapes capable of being explored each and every time. Each time he took the stage, he could rearrange a song in a completely different form. Effortlessly he could combine several genres into one. He became one song and this one song was free.

Prince represented, stood for and embodied Freedom. There are no walls. There is no time. He made an example of this anytime he released a song, he would prove there was always more to find. Hidden treasures buried underneath multiple layers of sonic nirvana. I can speak forever about his music. I use to review his albums on my YouTube channel – it was only recently (about 2 weeks ago) when I decided to remove my album discussions. I enjoyed making these videos as it was so fun exploring the production and story that is enveloped in his songs. I removed my album discussions because I became aware that my opinions of his songs evolved with my experiences. I realize that music is one of the best diaries to any experience. I also realize that I didn’t feel it was necessary to review everything that was released. I can display my appreciation for the music in light of the inspiration that Paisley Park brought me. (I will upload those reviews online as landmark anniversaries come along 🙂

I’ve had amazing experiences and I am considerably thankful for all I learned since my journey began. Each of us has a Prince story. A time where we heard a song and were taken to a place or maybe even a one on one encounter with him. He’s touched the lives of so many and the reason for this, causes to us to celebrate.

It’s been marvelous to see all of the stories come out which display how many lives he has touched. From young to old. Musicians to Politicians. If you’ve heard his sound at all, you have been moved into a place of true respect. I’ve had the privilege of being closer to some of the magic by experiencing Paisley Park on the regular. Conducting the Studio Tours there, was a dream I never could imagine. Several times I was brought by surprise when he would show up. He’d always say Hi, and was quite the joker. One distinct time I remember is when I was at a private rehearsal with his newly formed band. Kirk Johnson On Drums, Mono Neon on Bass guitar , Donna Grantis on Lead Guitar, Adrian Crutchfield on Saxophone, and Prince primarily on keys (although he played guitar when he felt it)

I was working the teleprompter. Can’t mess that up right? Just scrolling up the lyrics as the music played along. Sounds easy enough right? Well, this one time the set list was not followed in order of the list. Which is to be expected, as Prince shuffles through his songs on a whim. I couldn’t exactly find the lyrics for Free Urself, and the band was playing as normal. Prince was in front of me and he noticed this and would always smile and look back. He had this smirk on his face that he kept giving it as he noticed the lyrics were not there. I was so nervous and was trying hard to find the lyrics. He stopped the music and laughed and said: “The Lyrics just seemed to disappear huh?” I explained they weren’t in the file, and he said “Cool – we can do something that is there. You pick.” So I choose ‘What It Feels Like” and he went through it. I felt so relieved but also felt I needed to step my game so that this could not happen again.

Couldn’t be more than ten seconds and he changed it up after saying “I’m feeling something a bit harder…” then we went straight into “Xtraloveable”. It was so funky, I could barely scroll up on the teleprompter and he looked back and said “You’re free to dance if you want to! You can dance and clap your hands…we’ll just jam! We know the lyrics to this one! Clap your hands and dance! It’s Alright!”

He made it possible to be free. (Even while you were at ‘Work’) To inspire for higher and to reach for broader places. He encouraged and demanded it. It was a necessity to reach out and to do the work. I am extremely thankful for the opportunities that have been given. I’ll always celebrate and remind myself that I was as close to the magic as I could be. I got to see a side to him that was music personified. A gift I’ll treasure for a lifetime.

We in the #PurpleArmy should feel blessed at the amount of music we have because of Prince. We can be captured by simply listening to the sound and for this, I’ll be eternally grateful. Thank you, Prince, for being a mentor, teacher, and the embodiment of music. You have forever changed and transformed the landscape of sound.

#Luv4OneAnother

7.21.16

It’s been 3 months and the ✨✨✨transcendence✨✨✨ is still replayed in my mind. The life and legacy of Prince is everlasting. Always bouncing through the music and alive through the melody. With each song and rhythm of funk – I still feel the ✨✨✨transcendence✨✨✨. He’s forever embedded in the countless transformations left in every note of his sound. I still miss the constant mystery. The whole aura that multiples when you literally have no idea what can come next. The “You Never Know What Might Happen” The random invites to a party.

He may perform or he might just be teasing to keep us guessing. The new releases of music. (Even more so The Paisley Park Listening Sessions) The conversations that made everyone in the room silent. Prince was more than a musician who lived in Chanhassen, Minnesota. Anyone who followed along the ride was guaranteed a new experience. He encouraged us to surrender your expectations. He talked in a unique way – using words, letters, numbers, colors, and even symbols to convey his meaning. (Who else do you know – could be recognized by a symbol?)

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If you listened to the sound at all – you know! Damn. This is not only fun but life changing. He had us so hooked – one could not plan to do anything on Friday or Saturday because those days likely something may happen!

We began to count on a PPAD by studying the moon. Also the correlation between the number 7. He spoiled us and started to actually remind us when another party was near when the moon was either full or new. Sometimes – the party’s just happened privately and you needed the invite. 😀

I’m taking, this time, to reflect and to be thankful again to be apart of the experience. I’m pretty proud and thankful that it happened while I was alive. To step into that space. The feel of his studios. The smell of anticipation.

Conducting the studio tours at Paisley Park was an unforgettable experience. I remember going on one for the first time in September and was blessed by the opportunity to see real life history in each of his studios. Joshua Welton gave an amazing detailed breakdown of the studios while also giving us an exclusive listen to HitNRun Phase One. After finishing the tour – Kirk told me “Prince wants you to do the tours – will you be ready tomorrow?”

Wait. What. Pause.

Tomorrow?

He assured me I got the gig and this shouldn’t come as a surprise because they had prepared me for this all along.

I was sent bullet points on to what to say and it became a usual gig each time Prince opened up the doors at Paisley. What a blessing. Surprises were constant and it always exceeded the last experience.

I remember one distinct time a couple of friends and myself was invited to Paisley Park for a music video for Judith Hill. A lot of us showed up but we couldn’t be at Paisley until I was told when to come in. We met up at Houlihan’s for what felt like hours – just waiting for confirmation. I got the call only to be told it was canceled – and while we were all a bit upset we laughed and just shared Prince stories all throughout the night. A couple of the faithful ones were called ‘The True Blues” because we were always truly there. Always there to support and show our love for everyone involved in the Paisley experience.

Another time I got a call that a party was happening at Paisley Park. A couple of friends were invited and while Prince didn’t show up – Hannah’s and Josh’s (3EG) family were there and we danced with them and were invited to the kitchen to eat some food. They called this event a ‘Family Affair” we were delighted to be there. I told Kirk – Since we are family and all “Where is the aluminum foil?” Haha! He got a kick out of that – they didn’t have any foil but plenty of cups for us take with us! (Some of the best food I’ve ever tasted too!)

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We were always down for him regardless of what did or didn’t happen.

It wasn’t that long ago – and while seeing Prince always felt like a dream or some kind of distant ethereal dimension experience. I still miss him around and miss the humor and engulfing parade. I miss him on Twitter and his clever wit. His T.A.D. (Tweet and Delete) He’s left me with so many life-changing memories and I’ll never forget them. Thankful for the countless memories and great friends that were brought forth. “So much work to do…Everywhere. That’s what this is about. The Work. PT. Everlasting Now.

There Will Never Be Another Like Him – or like you. So let’s add more colors, numbers, symbols, and anything else to your own story – so we can do the work and remind people luv4oneanother is the only way.

Prince / A Sudden Transcendence

A flood of emotional experiences parades my mind in light of the N.E.W.S of April 21st, 2016. I don’t think any of us expected it to come so soon. On A full moon, Prince transcended this earthly dimension into a higher place. His kingdom in the heavens. It’s been an emotional roller-coaster 2.0 as everything just seems to linger at the center. If I am being completely honest, it feels as if the universe made a huge mistake.

Prince has been the soundtrack of my life for as long as I understood the depth of sound. He has a song for every emotion and experience. Which makes it extremely difficult. He’s everywhere. (The song ‘Everywhere’ from The Rainbow Children) If I want to get Mad // I think of the song ‘Mad’ composed in 1994 released on the NPG Music Club. When I listen to his songs about Joy // I then Rave Un2 The Joy Fantastic. It goes on and on. A song with every feeling and emotion which carries me into a very intense realization.

Prince is one of those artists that constantly challenges and creatively keeps you on the edges of wonder. His music has really affected me in ways deeper than any other artist has, and this expedition is eternal. There seems to be an explosion of where to go when examining the large body of work he has! If you want to know anything, look deep inside your soul!

I was taken by surprise when I realized the soundscapes capable of being explored each and every time. Each time he took the stage, he could rearrange a song in a completely different form. Effortlessly he could combine several genres into one. He became one song and this one song was free.

Prince represented, stood for and embodied Freedom. There are no walls. There is no time. He made an example of this anytime he released a song, he would prove there was always more to find. Hidden treasures buried underneath multiple layers of sonic nirvana. I can speak forever about his music. I use to review his albums on my YouTube channel – it was only recently (about 2 weeks ago) when I decided to remove my album discussions. I enjoyed making these videos as it was so fun exploring the production and story that is enveloped in his songs. I removed my album discussions because I became aware that my opinions of his songs evolved with my experiences. I realize that music is one of the best diaries to any experience. I also realize that I didn’t feel it was necessary to review everything that was released. I can display my appreciation for the music in light of the inspiration that Paisley Park brought me. (I will upload those reviews online as landmark anniversaries come along 🙂

I’ve had amazing experiences and I am considerably thankful for all I learned since my journey began. Each of us has a Prince story. A time where we heard a song and were taken to a place or maybe even a one on one encounter with him. He’s touched the lives of so many and the reason for this, causes to us to celebrate.

It’s been marvelous to see all of the stories come out which display how many lives he has touched. From young to old. Musicians to Politicians. If you’ve heard his sound at all, you have been moved into a place of true respect. I’ve had the privilege of being closer to some of the magic by experiencing Paisley Park on the regular. Conducting the Studio Tours there, was a dream I never could imagine. Several times I was brought by surprise when he would show up. He’d always say Hi, and was quite the joker. One distinct time I remember is when I was at a private rehearsal with his newly formed band. Kirk Johnson On Drums, Mono Neon on Bass guitar , Donna Grantis on Lead Guitar, Adrian Crutchfield on Saxophone, and Prince primarily on keys (although he played guitar when he felt it)

I was working the teleprompter. Can’t mess that up right? Just scrolling up the lyrics as the music played along. Sounds easy enough right? Well, this one time the set list was not followed in order of the list. Which is to be expected, as Prince shuffles through his songs on a whim. I couldn’t exactly find the lyrics for Free Urself, and the band was playing as normal. Prince was in front of me and he noticed this and would always smile and look back. He had this smirk on his face that he kept giving it as he noticed the lyrics were not there. I was so nervous and was trying hard to find the lyrics. He stopped the music and laughed and said: “The Lyrics just seemed to disappear huh?” I explained they weren’t in the file, and he said “Cool – we can do something that is there. You pick.” So I choose ‘What It Feels Like” and he went through it. I felt so relieved but also felt I needed to step my game so that this could not happen again.

Couldn’t be more than ten seconds and he changed it up after saying “I’m feeling something a bit harder…” then we went straight into “Xtraloveable”. It was so funky, I could barely scroll up on the teleprompter and he looked back and said “You’re free to dance if you want to! You can dance and clap your hands…we’ll just jam! We know the lyrics to this one! Clap your hands and dance! It’s Alright!”

He made it possible to be free. (Even while you were at ‘Work’) To inspire for higher and to reach for broader places. He encouraged and demanded it. It was a necessity to reach out and to do the work. I am extremely thankful for the opportunities that have been given. I’ll always celebrate and remind myself that I was as close to the magic as I could be. I got to see a side to him that was music personified. A gift I’ll treasure for a lifetime.

We in the #PurpleArmy should feel blessed at the amount of music we have because of Prince. We can be captured by simply listening to the sound and for this, I’ll be eternally grateful. Thank you, Prince, for being a mentor, teacher, and the embodiment of music. You have forever changed and transformed the landscape of sound.

#Luv4OneAnother

Shadow Acquaintance

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It sometimes haunts me with a lingering presence. It’s as if my eyes can only see it and its beginning to make me nervous. Yet, I am finding peace in what this means. The memory is becoming a comedy and eventually- I end up swallowing the anomaly. It’s not so bad to miss great experiences and to monetarily become engulfed with the charm of its power. Reality keeps me in check. I realize, there were a series of choices that were made, which leads me to where I am.

It wasn’t a spontaneous amount of emotionally unbalanced feelings. I regret nothing because what I demonstrated was a result of real emotions. So as the parade of positive memories follows me as a person. The shadowy nature of its power, reveals to my ways; I was hurt and misunderstood as well. It’s not that I focus on the darker aspects of experiences but I must allow proper balance and weight.

It wasn’t all the way white, so let’s acknowledge the BLACK.

Every experience seems to carry both light and dark aspects. So it is necessary to find favor in both the black and white. (Never dispel one because the other is more appealing to you.) So with an alarming shadow appearing at randomized moments, I can truly appreciate this presence that feels like a person.
The light and the activity around it, reveals this dark shadow, which has become a necessary acquaintance.

Hovering

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I’m hovering over you because you’re over me.

Your shadow is a lurking creep and I swear it’s to keep me in the age of ancient time.

Sweet forces of bliss pantomimed.

In my heart and my conscious mind.

Addressing the tribulations of my alienated vocal dimension – I beckon to be heard.

Through a lover like you, with a season of passion and a river of mention.

To be carried under your umbrella of comfort, I plead for the rain to shower.

Just to be felt by your grasp, only a little more, and I’ll be closer into the pondering of your mind.

Comforted by the sweet walls of your thoughts.

These scales of recognition are trailing marks of your interest to me.

Your ideas carved with me in sound.

Breathlessly my own sequence of words is captured in the engaging glare.

Tower Girl

With each step, she climbed closer

Closer to her dream.

She built upon a climax that would grant her an entire KNEW language.

She noticed those who vocalize, with fervent concern.

They did not care but instead challenged the wonder of the mysterious Night.

She prophesies with great conviction, as the truth danced within her belly.

She heard the word from the divine one, as she anointed her lips as she became aware of her mission.

To not ponder on the disbelief, but to encourage a sense of magic which would awaken all a part of the trick.

It was not a trick of desperate attempts to blind one within the illusion, but a trick of a trip which brought ecstasy.

Many knew her as the Tower Girl, she climbed higher anytime one would listen as her summons called those who were considered least.

She did not mind the attire, nor colorless ambitions..it only allowed her more sensibility.

A prophetess of the night, with a light of those kept by the darkest memories.

A light that brought hope to those who wanted to make the world better.

She beckoned religion to strip its clothing of toxicity and division.

She noticed how many of the blind ones, stumbled on the rocks of desperation.

They really intended for some sign that would bring a course of direction.

She built on the molder and ROCKS Beneath them.

She felt the need to crush them, as the minerals would build upon the next.

The Time Keeper (See Where You Are)

I just finished watching ‘The Time Keeper’ by Mitch Albom!

 

It’s a book with massive critical acclaim and for good reasons!

I won’t indulge each and every passage that enveloped the story but my abbreviations are heavy with a sense of parallel discovery.

 

Right after, I finished reading the book immediately as I went to lay, the song ‘See Where You Are’ by Amel Larrieux stormed within my heart. The lyrics speak of exactly,  what the book manages to explore.

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“It’s zippin by
Like speed of light
Or draggin painfully slow
It’s not enough
Or just too much
Either way it’s gonna go”

TIME, what truly is it all about? I’ve written very much about time, the paradox of its nature, the believability that it is given. While reading the book, what I managed to enjoy are those random slices of revelation! Mitch, often dropped knowledge as a poetry entrance, to concur with the setting of what he talked spoke about! I started to read the book backward, but I’ll manage to now quote some of my favorite slices from end to the beginning.

 

 

“Everything man does today to be efficient, to fill the hour? It does not satisfy. It only makes him hungry to do more. Man wants to own his existence. But no one owns time”

 

 

“With endless time, nothing is special. With no loss sacrifice, we can’t appreciate what we have.”

 

 

“When we’re most alone is when we embrace another loneliness / But…Hurting ourselves to inflict pain on others is just another cry to be loved”

 

“Einstein once postulated that if you traveled at an enormous rate of speed, time would actually slow down relative to the world you left behind, so that seeing that future without aging alongside it was, at least theoretically possible.

 

“He did not know that the child who asked for yesterday was now seeking to own tomorrow”

 

“But a man who can take anything will find most things unsatisfying. And a man without memories is just a shell.

 

 

“In this world, he heard a constant hum, as if a hundred sounds were being mashed into one note. He didn’t yet know this was the sound of a single slowed moment”

 

 

These were quotes that really managed to detail the moments in time, which have brought a sense of measuring eternity. The book motivated me to see where I am. Which brings me back to Amel!

“What you wanted is what you have
Or isn’t it
What you are is out of your hands
Or isn’t it

Lay down your pencil
Computer off
Say not a word
Get out of your car
Step away from your desk
Don’t look at the clock
Stand there in silence

And see where you are
And see where you are
And see where you are
And do you wanna be where you are”

 

This song motivates us, to lay down what we are writing. DO WE EVEN KNOW, WHAT WE ARE WRITING? Turn the computer off, and observe the silence! This song really enveloped my thought process because, lately, that is exactly what I have been doing lately. Staying quiet and not looking at the clock. There is a lot in my life going on…But I am stepping away from my desk. Just to see where I am..I realize I don’t want to be where I am.

 

She goes even deeper in the next lyrics:

 

It’s everything
A vivid dream
Or not worth talking about
The big idea
Until it’s here
And then they’re taking the

house
What you wanted is what you have
Or isn’t it
What you are is out of your hands
Or isn’t it

 

What we often want is what we have, and many times we feel is that it is out our hands!

Ah yes
Feeling the implications
Of somebody else’s
Expectations
You could elope if you wanted to

DO you want to is the question?

Poised

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Just yesterday, while I was in another room, I heard a boisterous shatter. It turns out, my mirror broke into pieces! Out of nowhere, I couldn’t understand, how it shattered so quickly! I looked in a Poised position in the reflections of the shattered pieces and I stood there and marveled at the glances of myself, appearing to break my image. Pieces of glass which rested on the carpet, instead of the tile. Which means, even in my heaviest attempts to remove any particle, it will become buried under the comfortable softness of where I walk. Quite interesting that mirrors contain a sense of bite. They still yet assure, a sense of understanding even when broken.

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The drifting days are pale in the memories of autumn. The icy thunders of winter are reminded of its charm while sealed in a capricious space of existence. Taking a more earnest heed to the things heard; rear a syncopation of order. It is easy for entropy to take hold as the placement of randomness flourish the mind of boisterous arrogance. Slowly, the market system gradually becomes, like snowflakes of an avalanche; who begs to reckon with it?

The questions remain, yet a still persuasion in the conduct of questioning. If by chance, the moment is given to those who doubt, the functions and structure of life within; answers apprehension. Preparation designates the flow of the answer instilled. Always in a manner of gentleness and respect are these realizations of truth made known. While the mystery of true spirituality is revealed to us; the misconception of code and tradition often blocks the gate where its revelation glistens. Almost, at the defeat of surrender: does the hope of truth rise within the spirit; whole with its consciousness.

Joy is hereby manifested as the contemplation subsidies and the reminder is awakened, by the witness of the light. The gifts given to us, are fully able to be exercised by the fulfilled will of salvation. The testament of poised evaluation; remarkably enables, a conviction understood and deemed to be thoroughly engaging.

Consequential Replay

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Open the door, that leads to the corners of the alley.

You’ll then see a cat and when she lurks around your composition – you’ll find a nervous sensation!

Be careful to charm the legs of suspense because they look too warm you through their lingering.

Every when night you go to sleep – they appear in dreams reminding you of the boy you once were.

Being very earnest to play with every living creature that came your way.

The intimacy that comforts you in the pillows and sheets gives you the indication of excited passions.

When she settles down in your desires, you become governed by the will to replay it again.

Looking down to write down more of this story – the archive of already established stories hovers your mind.

You are reminded of the effect this magic exhales upon you. Time and focus again; you find yourself, continually a part of the consequence of transmission.

She’s the one behind the magic who merely comes as the mirage of fantasy.

Everyone knows how she tastes – the fascinating lullaby that makes all children close their eyes in the midnight hours.

The composure of replay gives back the lost reason, a home that is to be remembered.

I’ve experienced this quite recent, being haunted by the familiar cat.  I’ve taken a break onto social indulgence because of the heaviness of what is going on. I’ve been reminded by the focus of her obsession that there is a story that covers the mind! It’s been like a replay, but my home is no longer there, I desire to fall into the grace of a magical place!

Mesmeric Rendition (21 Measures)

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I thoroughly enjoyed my birthday with my friends! Adia, Ethan, Daphene, Ashely, Francesca, Amir, and Jared! It was a time to remember, and it’s ONLY part ONE! It extends from this point on into the next!

What I’ve realized is a great detail within Mesmeric Renditions!

SO here we are, in the same position = I’ve had my turn, now you have given your rendition.

The same position of Birthdays and celebrations. NOW this rendition is of 21!

God, who created the universe has an amazing class, we all belong to; some of us are still sleep in the egg of unconsciousness, but I am a part of a rebirth now.

Sleeping because those dreams are only hallucinations of what we believe about the universe. Whether eternal or not – I am born again into the class of wonder.

I’m no longer hanging on the edges of a proposition.

Because, whenever we hang out on what is proposed, where do we really go? We are either on the cliff or razor edge

Surely – All of this kitten suspense is growing into a LION!

Those kittens that run through the ally allowed the black shadow to a metamorphosis of a LION of grand ROARING!

I can hear the roar – trembling at my doorstep! Once, I open it; I’m in for it!

Starting at a hesitant scream. Hearing the loud roar, as you open the door, you can see this won’t be a good conversation.

I’ve already shot my ego on the landscape of heated desire.

This passion burns inside of me, best to release it as the fever begins to trickle at the eyesight of indulgence.

No longer am I seeking a seized past comfort, my rest now prepares for eternal mesmeric chords.

The seized past is no longer sought because my resting is a chord played 21 measures…