*This post came to me in a dREaM – so if some of it doesn’t make any sense, you should probably sleep on it and then write down your dreams – then try correlating the lines.* If you don’t want to read through all of the lines of explanation – here’s a sentence to simplify it for you. “By surrendering your “I” (ego) you create a bridge to cross.”
“I” is a bridge to cross. When explaining yourself – to someone else, think of the capital letter ‘H’. There are two poles on opposite ends but have the equal lines to connect what’s in the middle.
The line (“I”) in the middle should be seen as the ego. In order to understand where someone is coming from, one must surrender their ego simultaneously so their cargo (argument) can be successfully delivered.
The ego must submit as to not get in the way. A bridge is essential if you want a shortcut instead of carrying extra baggage because by then everyone could have missed your point. The feeling of being wrong is one that we often run away from.
All of us are convinced on opposite ends that what we’re saying is valid. We tend to believe the information that confirms our side. We blindly may accept the normative played out without challenging the veracity of such sides.
Getting to where we want to go means discipline but also curiosity. How much would you love the end result? Even if the result is not in your favor. For energy comes and goes. Sometimes it may stick around other times it may convert into something else. It may be useful or a pest – dealing with the volume of passing chemicals is, after all, a potentially deadly experience.
As it turns out, meeting in the middle is often actually just one person bowing down and compromising for another person. If someone wants to do one thing and another doesn’t want to do it – meeting in the middle is either one person deciding to do it or the other deciding not to do it.
It’s not good enough to half do it. It’s also like a see-saw. One is up and the other is down.
A great way to simplify the H & Bridge is by a lyric from Prince: “If eye say 11, U can say it’s 7 – still eye wish u heaven.”
Truth is: there is no such thing as winning an argument *at least there shouldn’t be*. Imagine you on one side screaming your head off while the other person is screaming their head off. The two of you alternating between highs and lows – uppercuts and low blows.
One player feels like an aggressive antagonist. The other one reduced and misunderstood. The relationship is spoiled, the argument is specifically engineered – guaranteed to be exact – to be repeated. A circle that never reaches any conclusion.
Shoulders are tense. Arms are tightly embracing the opposite arm. The mood is stubborn.
If the person you are trying to win an argument against is important to you, then you may see how using the word “winning” is really misused.
*unless you really enjoy stomping to the beat of your own drum without yielding to the other bandmates – so that they may fancy the chance, to solo to their heart’s content!*