blessings // buttons y'all ~ here is where you can push the buttons of meaning and poetic interpretations of angel & angle windows of insight. peek around, there's a lot to see. (you may discover a key) For me? To sew is bestow! (buttons are like seeds) my aim is to frame THAT name : my sight is to ignite and thus write N2 PARADISE CLARITY. (for what is understanding if not for the s3arch & struggle to get there?)
Today : is a day of mourning. with the falling rain & ongoing pain…indeed today is one of deep lamentation. if you’re wondering why, there’s a creeping sadness around this season? may it better recognized one reason for this is : the capitalist nature of this holiday.
while the mass media and all of their related pundits aim to reframe today as one of celebration and giving of thanks. amidst the football, cake and pie stuffing, turkey and ham feasts, little to no mind is given to the nature of this day.
Instead we’re forced: Football. Advertisements. Black Friday Sales. the message has been sent. encouraging the tenet to pay rent. but there ain’t no money. only waffles without honey. big time flakey, crumbling…steadily shaky.
one may vaguely point to the native and indigenous peoples; but little depth or investigation is made to their history and what efforts have been made to undermine them and their relentless struggle in gaining their land back!
I AM CONVINCED : not enough pain has been shared amongst the masses of those in ‘ameriKKKa’ / Canada / and all occupied and colonized lands…we’re only left to focus on the remnants of what remained. THIS IS THE CANARY EFFECT.
Not a day of thanksgiving but THANKS-TAKING of LAND, RESOURCES & LABOR which were all stolen, revised, and redirected for the purposes of capitalist exploitation and hegemonic dominance.
i have a reply but i’m unable to share it i got a word but i’m thinking you’re unable to bear it! that’s to say ; this word can climb trees : this word will get you to confess on your knees ! like a fox searches for prey I’m traveling by stealthy feet hoping my capture will widen and greet all of the variations of foods supply, are written true & tasty in my mind’s eye!
i dare not hide the notion that exceeds your ocean !!! rocking and waving, for all the discs playing (in stereo) by the love we’re saving. arriving at a point to say, SCREAM, & rElAy! it’s to no dismay : even with a sad & hardened heart, the response of the shadows, honor light at the first start even when the ‘aims’ do not fully chart…
popping tums for my stomach ‘ummm’s’ pausing where the growls meet a pregnant wonder so that my thoughts might strike like thunder and the meaning to believe: reaches you : so that you are rescued from drowning under
my heart is beating all at once trying to discover why the race has slurred my visions blurred i wanna know i’m trying gas is expensive, so like the squirrel i’m flying from the sacred antediluvian tree, to the smell of tropical fruits and smoked brie as we walk on native indigenous lands,may our wills be set to struggle and UNDERSTAND!
i’m just remembering to write down what i’m assigned // aligned to do. dedication to the pen is a thrill oftentimes neglected. we don’t even give much time to everything we’ve done. while looking back at the things i’ve done, i still remain in jubilation at the many spaces made to continue advancing a better world.
whatever that looks like for my history. where the future resides. how i’ve come / coming / came to the terms of the spiritual world and the deep dividing of who is what & where meets there at the crossroads…
it’s so many thoughts i have to get through. most of which i’ve only began to scratch. i am committed to redeeming these notions because it’s where i’m found. my heart is breathing steadily and it making me an outlier.
a present alien to foreign ground. it’s my awakening. the beast and flower passing into a truthful power. being strong in disagreeing. the seeing and the flowers of believing. i’ve done many things and now is a time for organizing of every material reality. so that i can see! i’m ready to jump in the 🔥FIRE🔥 and ignite the wire while being fit with a deserving attire.
Moon and Sun : resourceful and remorseful is the cry when requirements have been unreached. making a speech to the pupils who are soon capable to teach. yet, always remaining a student and in study of the rule, whereby change constantly occurs. uncovering this answer with jotted lines of smooth but rough stirs.
the pencil is a treasured friend. in it – I can erase with pace the mistakes that are to surely take place. + an ASMR luxury, with mechanical ease, the pencil also sharpens the ears with a delicate breeze. unlike the pen or permanent sharpie : one does not have to outdo the lines with scribble (though the dribble can be one of an honorable threaded typo) leading us into the fate of a pristine date!!! (ain’t that gr8?)
extension……to be acknowledged in the silence. a retreat festering deep. my soul seeking to be at a place of ‘SEEING THINGS AS THEY ARE’ weighing it all. transforming. honing into the knew me. harmonizing the conscious and unconscious.
in bed, within the inn – i then go, soft peddles of a perfumed floral ring ‘a rose’ in me : the call of a bee sting. entwined in clusters of blue and carpenter’s wood remains flames of extravagance, shouldering between transgression and what’s expected to be good at the cocktail’s hour, happy itself – extends into the pour of a whisky sour!
within this writing – i’m inciting : levels of tiny pebbles ! stuck inside the shoe, solving this dilemma is merely paying attention to the clue! the case of this face is myriad but fallen short of obscene … when the sense became non – i become a breathless yawn. quivering into the distant soft tissue, as my tears are signatures of issues.
ranging from emotional neglect and tortured trauma! but confessions of repentance have been absolved through the teachings of the Dalai Lama! (((it should be noted : the dalai lama and 🧿 DO NOT IDEOLOGICALLY ALIGN, as They’ve worked with the 👀ℹ️🅰️, so….👎🏿 ! i only used their mention due to the rhyme provided on the spare dime in time.)))
i’m kept close by the face of an perplexing ace! while going through this crisis of energy – is not at all unexpected …
yet: it does appear suspected
as so much can be said………….. instead i’ll pause where my whispers swallow the voice inside, is a guide to which i follow
the fiction of the white just might: speak way too soon….. months of turning pages to the crescent & whole moon
still awaiting colors, glisten serene and while the contradictions long to be seen…. dialectically & eclectically : to those that suggest otherwise, by the sight of their reading eyes? lines indeed, align and surprise!
while : in bed, within the inn – i then know, embedded indigo!
I originally conceptualized the title “embedded indigo” after gathering all of my close friends at Benihana’s in Chanhassen Minnesota! I remember I worked at Mall of America at the time, and TrevorGuy called me around the time, I was leaving work. “Prince is having a music video dress rehearsal for Judith Hill with Eric Leeds, tonight at Paisley Park and you’re invited to bring in a couple of folks. Details forthcoming. Are you down?” “Absolutely, I’ll let my folks know!” I was absolutely ecstatic about going to Paisley Park and to add to that : A music video with two of my favorite musical artists!? I told the ‘True Blues’ (y’all know who you are!) AND we were all excited to be there!
For added context: I had only been to Minnesota 3 months at this point and things were already picking up, as only 2 days ago from this point I got 3 messages that a private party : was happening at Paisley Park and me and my friends had been invited to Paisley! If y’all want a run down of what happened you can watch that here! https://youtu.be/zSQWWAwRWgg
BACK TO BENIHANA’S! So we are all there awaiting what’s the scoop! everybody’s asking me, what’s about to happen!? Obviously I would know right? Well no. Prince never gave any information about what was about to happen, he just told you to prepare and that I did. It was at least 21 of us and none of us did not know what would happen. We were all sharing Prince stories and all guessing all what could go down. Clearly, we were all decked in our finest of clothes. I do remember having blue on at the time.
Suddenly : I get a call from TrevorGuy.
ALL eyes are suddenly on me as my ringer is on and I knew it was the call, we’d all be waiting for. I briskly brushed off into a quiet space, leaving them all in lingering anticipation.
I get back to the phone and hear :
“hey, sorry. Prince is not going to do it tonight. some things came up. sorry, will be in contact soon. peace.”
ALL I felt inside was blue. A deep blue. So deeply on me it felt like a deep url code. not just any kind of blue but a mood indigo like Duke Ellington spoke about. It wasn’t necessarily sadness though, just like someone dipped in a ocean of reflection. How was I going to tell everybody it wasn’t happening!? I remember thinking about dreading the walk of shame back to everyone awaiting what would be the next move.
Soon as i came back to the fold, my head shaking in every direction : everyone knew and we all laughed it off. in fact the rest of the night was spent with many other folks who had been to Paisley throughout the years when this was a common occurrence!
“Oh you mean, driving out in the middle of nowhere before there was ‘modern construction’ because you were told there was a paisley park party at -35 degrees and when he leaves you outside for like 3 hours and then decides at the last minute, nah.” Hahaha
Prince. His way about things were not linear. All throughout the night, I can’t say I was really feeling blue as in sad tho. I was very much energized throughout the laughter that ensued & with good eating though we were not a part of the experience. In many ways this is how I feel about Prince and the anniversaries of his ‘transcendence.’ Which is today. There is no real sadness only memories of joy when listening to the “flames of extravagance” that is Prince.
In many ways it all feels like a parallel vortex when this time comes around, a familiar whisper in the shadows. Whispering deeply, but a jovial memorial indigo.
Writing a new thing or an old thing – just as long as the flame can keep me warm. The cold flickering of life’s surprises – are we ever safe from the impending frostbite? The danger that is trapped inside of a cage of our reactions. We can choose to engage – or simply turn the page, the text remains the same morning or night. When troubles come to visit you uninvited – I encourage you to invite it in. It may make you cry or what’s worst – really tear you up inside and create a dark black hole.
I promise it’ll be worth it. You might explore things that aren’t so bad to learn. Mellow in the confusion – bake your cake and share it with someone you love. The heat is on and will soon burn into nothing but smoke. Don’t regret your time – like they say “Reclaim it”. It’s just a couple of long weeks here on earth. Some are spent wisely while others are forgotten like last weeks meal. Remember how good it was then? How much you savored the seasonings paired perfectly with a flask of wine? It was delicious and so is the memory of it – but that’s all it is now.
A forgotten moment stored only by a fraction of your senses. It’s much more – like a light to your mind is a pathway to your desires. When all is said and done – why not run? There’ll be a time you won’t be able to. When you keep on living things just get out of place.
Joints become rusty, pain becomes more practiced. “Use what you got and spend what isn’t yours” that’s what they say. That’s what ends up happening anyway, we are on borrowed tools and land. Truth be told mostly stolen – justice can’t prevail until we acknowledge this. Life is a precious commodity to some but an interesting journey to some. Living and resting. “Take what you can but always remember to leave what no longer suits you.”That’s what they said.
They have said a lot and it doesn’t all have to be in vain or to fall on deaf ears. If we know what they said – then we can live off what it may mean for now. A lot of what is said is based off myths that were created to control behaviors. This isn’t to say we can’t function behind these myths and reach some higher ground. Before you reclaim it – keep in mind some of what has been said was at a different time. The importance of context mustn’t lose its meaning due to how edgy whatever you’re claiming may feel. For example: If you wanna reclaim a concept that has been used to manipulate others – that’s gonna come with various consequences. It’s always better to be aware of the timing of such reclaims!
At any rate: Reclaim what’s yours to use for the service to others. As Maxine says it honestly with no feelings or resolve. It ain’t about offending but knowing what you can do. People have been saying a lot of things since time immortal – why not take back on what was done and remix it to your liking? All the while being aware of origin.
“A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.” – Proverbs 25:28
It’s really important to listen and measure what is said due to the intention behind what is being said. This is easy to understand when love and respect are given to two people who are aware of the affairs of their intentions. I sometimes RAISE my voice when I feel I have been misunderstood or disrespected, and this should never be the case. I remember speaking on the mediation of silence, how it functions in the productive heart. I will begin to meditate on silence and the understanding of grace by feeding on levels of respect. The variations of what is known in the world, are as colorful as the cultures of the world. We won’t get anywhere screaming and not taking into account the taste we have when something lands on your tongue.
Looking into the backward actions which set forth the steps of the present display a crooked path. I can look back at some of my mistakes due to the state of mind I had and literally surprise myself at the levels I stood on. I look back and can really say: ” I’m not where I want to be, but thank God, I am not where I use to be”. I’ve learned to live my life with no regrets, but I have also learned that the derived actions of neglect came due to a misunderstanding. I have remarked to myself the conversations of some of these things; to be united with the wisdom of now.
In the brilliant spaces of conversation; the fullness of visions and dreams can possibly trap themselves in the nest of wonder. The webs of detail are arranged in a mathematical molding. The icons of the mediums of television have warmed itself on the willing minds that have watched. The whole delivery of ambition is given the power of the visual which has taken over the world, that has become terrifying for me.
I have become a friend of the working class and now am going to make money. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT??? Money is only a promissory note of a private corporation. It is not backed by anything of value. The entire economy is based around the juggling of ‘I O U’ notes; which only exists because we have allowed a private corporation, to take over the money supply, which has allowed the national debt to exist! AND this is a debt that can never be repaid; at this point. So we are using notes that won’t pay for the national debt to owe other personal bills own to us. BUT HEY – SO be it, There is nothing new under the sun!
I am glad to have this peace and transcendence as it blesses and encourages me in times of neglect. The words of cursing have vanished as blessings.
Summarized Notion For Thought: The gospel is NOT good news at all; ‘IF’ it is potentially based. Once again, the good news is hardly good, when everything lives and speaks the language of ‘IF’. The truth is Truth regardless IF you believe it. Truth by definition excludes.Regardless of your position on the effect, the cause bears true due to its nature.