A dREam DeFeRrEd

while sleepwalking the dream deferred
I was then sewn up, folded down, as my voice went unheard
my spirit yet sought to eat the written word
as my midnight repentance’s slurred…

to underline the meaning of the said pitch
jars of stones, drawers of spells, are requesting a stitch
placement – where could the key abide?
if not in a enclosed location – where memories are kept far and wide!

meanwhile the coattail
of their foundation proved genuinely steady
but the camisole was see through,
collapsing my bashfulness, surrendering me ready…

as wavy fiction produces depictions of various inflictions
many of which attempt to make clear sense 
or else the pot is in need of a rinse
for the container can only contain so much, before spilling over
it’s been said : reality is a four dimensional clover.

so
i’ve come to the same
conclusion. 
a route destined to a recurring confusion.
like a cul-de-sac – the ‘whereabouts’ ain’t amounting to jack!

032821 ADD


i’ve test drove many herbs & clusters:
for it provided a pleasure i dreamed to be the case. 
flowers rooted in the soil but soon destined to be inside of a vase. 

the memory of life wishes to revive. 
but in between my closing eyes, this departure must contrive. 
to a place I’ve known? i’m kept grown!

when the aura comes around once more – what then, is left to be obtained? besides allergies from the flowers which have left me pained!
maybe some visualizations are better seen within the dream? 
it need not be for real, otherwise my hesitations will scream!

upon the alarm, my trepidation returns deferred
sleeping and waking life diffusing my fears into me like a songbird

but i missed the motion sought to keep me dancing
instead my spelling was silenced to restless nights romancing
sliced by the cut : as to excite the allure of the jiggly phat, what?

“ease on out of that pie!”
or else you‘ll DYE : teeth darker than mud – ruining those pearly whites for a musty crud!
wouldn’t that be a shame?
ha, i can explain! :::

as forces are sent to convict the mind of the infidel because they dared to call out the BULL, which would have otherwise continued stubbornly stool.
buried underneath, allowing advantages to be traced! some have already gone to waste, others? are lurking by at an inquisitive pace!

thus, this dREaM DeFeRrEd requires a writing down of every emotion stirred
to embrace : the flower & vase

before it goes away into withering decay. knowing that this transfer must occur, despite the lines which will inevitably blur!
….

as you were, The Game is Over for my Coeur…   blessings and light to Yael Naim & David Donatien for all of their timeless offerings. this one goes all the way ❤

 

 

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH. 8: THE BIBLE BELT)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 2 chapters will resume respectively as follows : 
12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //

“don’t you hate it when your pants sag to the ground?!” when you’re constantly having to pull them up because they’re not quite fit around your waist? i suppose if you lost a little weight, it’s a surprise the first time around but it’s only a matter of time, before you’d need a belt!

pulling up the extra slack so that like your shoes – they’d be tied down onto you. if you’re walking around with pants that are too large for you, a belt is a necessary accessory. the belt ensures proper walking and comfort knowing you won’t be caught with your pants down. no one likes to be caught with their pants down or maybe you want everyone to know your favorite colored underwear with the penguins and strawberries. heaven forbid, anyone peeks at your preference of an array of arenas to display?!

if your pants are bigger around your waist, a belt fixes the doubt away. however, if you wore the near exact measurement for your pants – the need of a belt is not essential. TOMSON thought of this connection in relation to the bible belt in the South where he was born. what would happen if you took the belt off from Southern USA? no doubt the trousers would fall faster than a small speck that causes avalanches.

another question arises, why are some places wearing overly large trousers to begin with? could they be trying to cover up all that hides inside? wouldn’t they know when it’s time to protect their trousers from falling?

there’s lot of reasons for this but to save time and spare of you of a complicated history between the South, war narratives, statues, slavery, and mind control via the state – the easiest answer would have to be the comfort that traditions provide for people. TOMSON began to understand that, TRADITIONAL RELIGIOUS SENTIMENT for a lot folks is the belt which holds their pants up. it may not be the most stylistic belt, but it has an individual whole (reason) for the entire length of its build. so even if you grow out it, you can still come back to it and find a space.

the south has a charm about it unlike anywhere else In America (Where there’s no way in or no way out)’, TOMSON began to see. the sentiment behind “southern hospitality” comes to mind. the friendliness and warmness that can be experienced by a simple hello down the street or the warm offer of cold lemonade and tea to a stranger. (never without shade!)

people in the south tend to abide by normatives that are rarely challenged. TOMSON never ever really thought about going to church so regularly because that’s just the way it is OVER THERE. no one is sparred from gossip and the talk of “i heard” in fact you get so use to it, when someone is not talking smack you wonder what they’ll say about you, when you leave their presence to talk with someone else. that’s just the way it goes. people run their mouths especially in smaller towns like in SHREVEPORT.

the SOUTHERN BIBLE BELT holds together various traditions and practices and there is integrity found in some of these ways of life. for as much as there is southern hospitality, there’s also ‘southern stupidity’ and the stupidity in the south is usually reflected in a naivety of approach, most of which is not in service to the productivity of thought.

120720 WTMTOFCH8 TBB

there are various reasons one can point to where OBLIVION arises from, but one remaining fragrance which steadily lingers is RESISTANCE TO PROGRESS . the more you advance in the awakening of knowledge, there will be various rebukes to progress. it’s not E-Z to deal with the heaviness of rebuttal. a proper rebuke sends a tingling down your heart. TOMSON remembers most feeling it powerfully as a child, but this sensation remains present day. trying to listen to this rebuke anytime it shows up because naturally, it’s there to somehow teach YOU a lesson.*** “notwithstanding, not all rebukes are for the better, especially if you’re WHOPPED 3 TIMES AND NEARLY KILLED for following orders!”***

a rebuke of progress is one that is instilled from a place of indoctrinated belief. it tells you to not spread “THAT MESSAGE” because you can mislead the children. it tells you that the propaganda is a tool of manipulation. what they don’t ALSO tell you, is that propaganda can also be used for the benefit of education. much of what we have learned from society stems from a system of propaganda. if you want to present a RaDiCaL idea, you must package it in subliminal packaging. that way people won’t be able to tell (at least not directly) that you are giving them something KNEW.

if you are used to living a certain way for years, you tend to scoff at the possibility that another way of life can conquer this one. (but there are lives to come!)

the purpose of a tailor is to make sure you’re fitted and good to go. communicate honestly, for if there’s any one PERSON deserving of small talk – your tailor is a good bet, OBVIOUSLY. the more clearly you represent what you want // the more likely you’ll find what you intend for. what’s the point in lying about your size or pinching details before you’re meeting your tailor?

as Hollywood and revisionist history would have it, it’s very commonplace for the masses of the people to ignore the thousands of years of injustice. nothing is clearer to this sentiment than the all too present but antediluvian proclamation : “wEaReLiViNgInThElAsTdAzE!!!.”

TOMSON never understood this PHRASE for the “tHeLaStDaZE” as he understood it – have been the reason folks PRAISE. feeling closer and closer to a celebratory occasion in the sky! tHeLaStDaZE is all simply the mAZe!

TOMSON began to witness a recurring anniversary except, it only began on his own and thus and everyone celebrated this anniversary on their own. everybody was listening to various TiPs for their HiPs , he being even more determined to not TRIP – for that would qualify a DIP into a SeAsON that can’t account for any ReAsON. other than to judge and SpOiL, the grapes given to a life of peril and tOiL….

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE! (CH. 3) : WORLDS WITHIN THE WORLD

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 7 chapters will resume respectively as follows:
// 10.21.2020 //

11.7.2020 // 11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

 

 

what’s true is that WE live in the world. this is a large world when you contextualize the enormity of the milky way (100,000–120,000 light-years in diameter and about 1,000 light-years thick, but up to 400 billion stars are located within it) earth is stuck in the milky way and we’re living in world with billions of other organisms. when you factor where law and order come into place, morality starts to feel like a joke. not only that, but everyone has different versions of morality, some say they’re in on a BIG secret.

one way i explain ‘Belief’ to people would be me liking to the process of belief to play-doh. the funny kind of slime which becomes anything you want it to be according to your imagination. you can make an intricate mansion filled with the most expensive chandeliers and tile flooring or a shack with busted windows with belief. it could either be THIS or THAT.

it’s been estimated people lie on average about a hundred times per day. why is this? it could be fear, cynicism, poor self-image, societal norms, and a host of many other things. what does this say about the nature of our world?

D9230FE8-D04C-4818-8ADF-283336AE83F7
WORLDSWITHINTHEWORLD

next time you hear someone tell you that “you live in your own world!”. tell them YES and so do you! i have always seen conversation as not only ‘paradise’ but a very a shakeable world. this is a world we must always engage within because we can’t live for too long alone without talking to someone else or wanting company.

the more you talk to people – you expose yourself to other galaxies and perspectives which are not held by your hands. somebody who talks to a lot of people not only expands their worldview, but create a space for self-reflection. it’s extremely important to point out the flawed veils we use to hide our true faces.

religion, politics, and overall systems in general respond to their own rules embedded in those particular said systems.

*so, talk to me human being. i don’t always want to hear what your doctrine says. i want to know what your heart says.*

we can already see where someone is going when they reveal to you, an window of their worldview. if someone tells you early that they are a vegan, recommending them to a spicy chicken joint isn’t useful to them. this of course, does not mean that they won’t use that opportunity to remind you why you should not eat chicken or meat at all for that matter.

so, choose your battles wisely. if someone believes we are all doomed but unable to talk to strangers unless they are warning them of damnation – who can talk to someone with that kind of assurance of indignation directed towards them?

there remains a market for selling fear. by making people afraid then telling them afterwards: “here is the answer! trust in this! give your life to this! believe in this and you will be saved!” while this is some people’s rhetoric – it’s also religion at large. since we’re all walking around with our fears about society, this fear can be exploited in favor of alien medicine.

medicine that does not attempt to solve the root behind the issue. fear can still be a helpful emotion, to navigate through the wilderness but better when it’s via fearlessness! we all go through the wilderness at some point and some do not walk with us among the trees. how many of us are living lonely? probably a large percentage of us! whether it’s feeling like a stranger in your own home or incomplete when provided with all the resources to succeed.

loneliness is often seen as an infection that spreads through every bodily and mental function. it also can feel like the biggest form of irony when you think of how surrounded we are on this planet. there is no shortage of NOUNS but it doesn’t remove the resounding emptiness that often visits us.

loneliness is also a symptom of depression. while you don’t have to be clinically depressed to be lonely, studies suggest that those who are depressed often feel lonely. throughout life, loneliness is unpredicted but nonetheless sure. there is no full rhyme or reason for it – but it happens at a cost far too unbearable. loneliness is a knock that comes at your garden gate. it’s a brutal knock that always feels uninvited when it arrives. sorrow is made known by reduction and emotion lingers from the heart. this isolation is an inadequate room completely colored by tears and memories which beg for company.

“why did you have to leave me all alone?” this sense of loneliness is encouraged when those close to us – seem to be so far removed from our company. this embrace is one that must happen alone. the departure of acquaintance – leaves us all here on earth with sudden surprise. the clouds steady move and change form. what is it that you see in the clouds anyway?

are elephants high up above or are seahorses standing in an ice cream cone? do you see eye glasses or wheels from a tow truck?

the alphabet of the clouds are spoken by transitions which you can’t keep up with. (they change all the time, silly!) the same things which connect are the very threads which alienate. it’s amazing how glue can also halt a connection from continuing. the same people who are found in your community are the ones that can be distant to you upon changing transitions.

i’m thinking of the church here, it serves as a community of people intended to encourage and build around the gifts of the people. the church, however: remains a social club which presumes to accept everyone *at the moment* of their membership. after a while, their conviction is then challenged based on the testament of faith. the moment you go against the current – the waves then silence you to the alter of prayer. “i’ll pray for you” to repentance but if one doesn’t turn away from *backsliding* – sooner or later they’ll be banished or ostracized completely for not changing their ways for the faith. 

the one thing that brought you to the church is then intended to be removed from you, the moment you continue in your sinful ways. they’ll continually pray for you though – because they believe you can conquer the stumbling block in your way.

in the following chapters : i will unpack various accounts experienced through the lens of a child growing up in a saved, sanctified, and holy-ghost filled background! The quest soon began for Tomson and whether the word from the Donkey came from God or from what was considered Wrong? Was it a typo or his faith which led him to his fate?!

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH.1: OVER HERE? AIN’T OVER THERE!)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 9 chapters will resume respectively as follows:

10.7.2020 // 10.14.2020 // 10.21.2020 //

11.7.2020 // 11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //

how does one weigh the minute? they live in the moment when the moment is theirs and this means measuring up, what you have in the moment and what you wish to do with it. when things move faster than our abilities to catch up it’s exclaimed: NOW WAIT A MINUTE! we are encouraged to take things slowly, otherwise you’re in the position to be ran over or you might be faced with the surprise spit mid sentence.

“iLlEgaL pArKeD cArs WiLl Be FiNe!”

:eVeRy TiMe yOu mAke a tYpo, tHe ErRoRiSts WIN:

yOu MaY SpElL a WaY BuT dOn’T fOrGeT tO wEiGh ThE MiNuTe!

typos aren’t always fun especially if they are sent to the wrong person. at the same time, typos can be very funny because the other person may be able to get what you were trying to say. some letters are not too far from each other while other times, the distance seems unreasonable. i find myself becoming like a detective trying to pick up the pieces and to connect them when they are scattered. 

Vanilla Paper Trails

technology doesn’t always get our words right. in fact, typos are about as natural to texting as using the wrong name for occupations and professions. considering how busy life can get, it’s very difficult to catch a mistake. which begs the question – was it a mistake or was it fate? 

some mistakes lead us to our destined fate. it doesn’t mean that fate was guided by a power beyond our control. somethings happen mindlessly without purpose to origin. someone can misconstrue what you meant long before you had time to correct what you said. once you write it down if not arrested by the urgency to proofread – it will come out exactly how it was written. 

sometimes we may have this advantage while other times we may find out too late. what can you do about a typo? maybe if we are to weigh our moments before we react or even make them – we’ll be in a better position to defend what we said. but where’s the fun in that? typos show us a glimpse of a world where absurdity takes the front seat. how fun is it to get what someone said, and it be made to mean something else? intent influxes with delivery….

the burning need to be right and to correct what was written is natural some of us. what do I stand to gain if i am right – i stand to gain more when i’m wrong for then i have a better understanding of what can be corrected. unless, my time is running out and i have only a little time to make it right. maybe if we are to take every moment and weigh it by the measures of our experiences – we can sit back and ask ourselves: “was this a typo or fate? and by fate, i mean a type of faith that believes it happened through the synchronicity para//el.

over here? : ain’t over there!

when you’re pointing in a direction and someone still gets it wrong – it’s only a matter of perspective. left and right are completely subjective terms that require context at the point in which you stand. over here ain’t over there. this is a reality we often forget.

“lEfT to write ! right to READ! brush to break a part the fat & GREED! UP & DOWN, side to sLiDe – foam through the mix and gLiDe!”

again, the allegory remains, if life is like one big highway; some of us ain’t going to the same places. 

if you’re on one corner but your mind is in another, you fell victim to distraction. there’s a reason for this because now more than ever, there is so much activity readily available to take your time and energy without much effort. you may be reading this page right now thinking about the food you could be eating or the song you hear in the background. all these things are calling your attention and if you focus enough for a short period of time, before you know it – you won’t even realize how entrapped you are by your own thoughts. you are not always aware of what causes sudden changes. until you study the decoys hidden right in front of your face!