DEAF MCCOY

they counted it all joy, to set the fire ablaze and destroy!

it mattered very little to their anguished mind : all of the memories now spoiled rotten in time.

‘it’s just a book’ : why would one insist to read it as if they could look? thus, they burned the pages alive – claiming what was left over, was made broken, abused, and unable to thrive…”

the ghost of this feeling?

seeks a remedy of healing!

the spirit of those words cried, after the flame once stole their flesh and the pages dyed…

into a thick smoky black ink….

staining fingers until blemishes could think:

towards the water and richly lathered soap,

attempting to wash away unfettered desires, and forged hope!

what was taken may be placed again!

through a loop, appearing now and then…

by a vision or through the dream portal:

charms enlighten briefly, yet remain mortal.

a sound that went unheard, until the smoke choked the air and their third eye vision became blurred!

paying service to the record which made them nervous : they’ve relinquished all possibilities : although nearly drowning in the deep blue seas, all of the flees couldn’t hurriedly leave their dog. Was it the surface or the smog – which stalled the cog to a destabilizing fog?

this happened to be the case for Deaf McCoy!

they not knowing : the heat could extinguish their joy!

” ‘cuz what about, all of the work that was put in?” as the 3 out of 5 recommend : the enemy and friend – to sit at the table of consumed ends, the start of which may transcend, with a flamed wire which only until now has to expire!

🔥🔥🔥to all the pages and names which were written in search of the answer. they found the dancer, grooving within the melodies of a boiling heat! a burning revival – reaching towards the back alleys and crowded street!

i repeat deaf mccoy : they not knowing the heat could extinguish their joy !

P A R A D I S E? CLARITY ! (FORMULATED EXPLANATION)

CARE NOT TO ONLY READ BUT DIVE FURTHER FOR EXPLANATION? WATCH THIS INSTEAD :

20 minutes and 44 seconds, you ain’t gotta watch me. just play! ❤

what is ‘paradise’ if not for the s3arch for transparent understanding!

i’ve randomly been writing poems and symbolic gestures starting back to 2013 – in this collection of writings you’ll be able to s3arch through the many ramblings of my mind! i’ve spoken about everything from : SPIRITUALITY , food, and dREaMs & ThEir WaKiNG LiFe CoNtRaDiCtIoNs!

reading my own words have been a revelatory insight into the reason i began to seek higher understanding. it all began in early 2013 after leaving a relationship that had significantly transformed my ‘Process’ of what understanding looks like.

many o’ times, i thought i KNEW FOR SURE what i was going through. only to soon realize, my eyes missed the lies passed right in front of me. it took being told the same thing by close friends, family, and strangers for me to somehow think i was getting through…

UNTIL : I WAS LOOPED BACK INTO BACK INTO A THE WIRE! a GPS programmed to a circular circumference! here i was // saying – i got it, this time! i didn’t have the proper correlation or the education which comes with learning about love but also LIVING with someone whose narcissism is cloaked onto them, similarly to how a robe can cover a pulsating throb.

i didn’t see what was ahead of me because i didn’t realize : RaNdOmLy…the same begins with a name not belonging to a disposition of shame. IT TOOK 8 YEARS * & some change* for me to GET THROUGH!

i was searching for ‘X’ – the unknown but yet known ; cycles of stained decoration, left me in constant hesitation. refusing to move on, assuming i’d become the same pawn – set adjacent to the queen who would guess that ‘chess’ was better played if it ALL was made into a beautiful & toxic Mess!

PARADISE CLARITY has shown me out of the deepest enclaves – i can reach to understanding through the work without feeling the need to justify every correlation that led me to ‘Y’ = ‘X’ has occupied so much of my figuring out. throughout all the years and tears wherein i feared – ever knowing the peace of being alone. believing that ‘home’ – could be understood distant and way out overseas. now i see it all began with me…

^^^

except it’s not just ‘U’ but the ancestors who have always paved the path! one can easily do the math : they told you that it was a hard to do! that numbers and shapes couldn’t be understood by you! but that’s a damn lie – one can try. to reach a higher place ! where grace is already marinating in space!

THE S3arch is how one may get through! (uniformly or RaNdOmLy)

FINALLY releasing this has also allowed me to MOVE ON AND AWAY – from the pains and gains which left me bound to reason (& seasonal treason) against the truth that deeply remains.

herein my celebration, salvation is retained !

✨🌬🪜🔑🪟🪞🖤🪃🧩🚀⏳⌛️💡🧨🧹🧶🪡🧵

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN PURCHASING :

✨ Currently ONLY Paperback, The Hard Copy Was a Gift to Myself ✨

Paradise Clarity

PARADISE CLARITY is the conceptual statement in which poetry and symbolic gestures comes through : to the reader by random and uniform means. It has been divided into 7 Volumes (Years) Starting from ‘Z’ (2020) To A (2013). THIS IS A 460 PAGE JOURNEY! Most of these writings were available online via blog posts, videos, and other forms of multi-media but never given the full moment to be absorbed as a whole. Whether you choose to RaNdOmLy or uniformly flip through the pages : the search to get to transparent destination is open to whichever destination you find most useful! *PRICE INCLUDES WORLDWIDE SHIPPING. PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR SHIPPING ADDRESS OF WHERE YOU WOULD WANT THE BOOK SENT* if you have any questions or concerns : please send an email to paradiseclarity@gmail.com Blessings!

$40.00

cashapp & venmo: $gesturegreen 

i would like to thank 3v3rybody who has taken the time to read and invest all of the words i’ve spoken within 7 volumes of time. so much has already been said, factors and predictions already laid…all of y’all, everywhere n everything : BL3ssings!!! ✨✨✨

EvErYwHeRe n’ EvErYtHiNg

this writing has scheduled me captive
a release of this feeling, caging me adaptive :
to all of the colors of misery left to display.
(you can expect nursery rhymes, idioms, and fantasy – hooray!)
these tones and fixtures dressing my shadows are compromised by a flaunting spark.
it flickers like a flame 
but the accountancy checks, marks?
are signed by a fraudulent name!
to what end does this despair carry?
unspoken abbreviations which can no longer tarry…
the marriage of the dichotomy between liquid and gas
prompts offspring of the physical and spiritual heir to come to past.

 

everywhere, n’ everything started to sing
people, places, n’ ideas, signaled a RING!
a chance to be answered by sweaty and out of breath dancers – fancying the occasion, to respond to this decadent persuasion. in which all NOUNS had to recite their lines, up beat, crushed, & entwined !

but,
instead of facing the consequences truly,
their cowardice became unruly.
outside of the inside and around the down and found – traveling at a speed where their nebula can reach before the flashlight could click. 
right before, my feet met slick
like an x – rated flick
now there’s a drip
providing a spiral confession
wherein this tale reads as my succession
everybody readily ‘revels’ at the bounce.
a party filled with jello and colorful hellos.
it would be seen as circumstantial- to not undress and dismantle.
so here’s to the cutting – right to the chase – windows perplexed and mirrors gone to waste. 
a price of vanity, is an impending transaction.
these muscular trophies, have been attained through repetitive tension.
filled with cyclical-calendar-commitments-reimbursing-the-worked out-pension.
here are a few, (commitments) which make due :
turtles n’ gloves.
rubrics n; doves. 
magic and mind.
candy at influx with rhyme. 
calories and added fat. mistakes and cute cats. soothing the reminder of yesteryear, reminding very clear as to what it means to be free.
a collective university
wherein the masses accompany 
– in struggle and in harmony!

for..

many are displaced.
figuring out what caused their mind to go ace. stricken from the eyespassionate lullabies.
tread with light feet.
colorful slides? mesmerized!
roasted junctions in heat as the sun turns to direction of the west
a light recurs to test!
a bedazzling agent provocateur,
inviting lace scented webs stringed to allure.

shall i continue or go on?
back when, n’ again…

everywhere, n’ everything started to sing
people, places, n’ ideas, signaled a THING!

singing tunes of the clown and a smile that became a frown!
not all answers went down.
some went around.
others came to only fly.
i could try.
but i can’t explain the withering refrain

for..

the pedigree of my registry
left me aligned with a succulent pleasantry 
i’m hungry cuz my motions have been left starved
as structures became carved
medicine was then pulverized
to escape the large n’ embodied surprise 
cuz that pill? was built ill!

everywhere, n’ everything started to sing
people, places, n’ ideas, signaled a RING!

HF : SR28 JNJEYEILL

052120 HFSR28

IMPORTANT:

ALL OF THE COLORS FEATURED HERE LEAD TO PREVIOUS VIDEOS / POSTS / BY CLICKING ANY COLOR – YOU WILL BE LED INTO MANY PREVIOUS POSTS – SOLARETURNS IN THE CODE OF HF:SR28-JNJEYEILL 🪐🪐🪐

i’ve always enjoyed my random share of frizz and dazzle! ACCENT signatures which can be pinned down. an added delivery because some things are worth the explorative requiem. many wouldn’t attempt – though i am among the class that do. my research into the spectacular is a source for many muses and advent quests.

there’s a lot to discover every and any where – so i’ll continue to identify as a space skimmer. you can catch me as one of the CHARACTERS IN THE WIND – passionately sharing GLORY STORIES! THE LIVING THINGS will always be ThEnDance i’m stepping to. i live on the corner of the TRIPLE S, right across the avenue of POE. i whip as i dip cuz my jargon provides a TIP TO THE HIP! i reside in EDM CASTLES!

some have tasted of this NEW NARRATIVE OF CONSUMPTION! the COMMANDED NORMALITY has shelved me a formula decked with a BLOSSOM CHAMBER. i’ve been the witness to my own creations and recordings over the years. it’s ALL there.

TryMustDiv
IT’S HERE FOR NOW BUT THEN IT WON’T BE – BECAUSE HERE IS NOT OVER THERE

 growth follows us as translation is often lost in the triangle // prism of daily consciousness.

i aim to illuminate via a ( s p a c e ) : entitled PARADISE CLARITY / – this much has been said already at length. repetition is easy when the points are various and the summaries can be explained in a formula. a symbolic gesture – like DOMINOES being explained against representative measures. random are the flows which have gone into the PERPETUAL SINK. time and time again – i’ve spoken to the winds!

asking it to lead me into, streams of glistening action and INVIGORATION! the wind has pushed me down like it did to Pandora! i’ve gone all over the place and i’m still unpacking the vastness of that, which arrives at my garden gate.

i’ve handled VANILLA PAPER TRAILS with pure hands // intending to display a spiritual revelation covered by angel white hands. i’ve broken fragile concepts down by shattering them, into a spec too unfamiliar to many. i’ve gotten deeper into the SOURCE OF INSPIRING FRUSTRATION. carrying extra weight because of the scuba gear added to my person.

in positions of the past – i’ve been a flightless BIRD, flapping my wings with many flights left to climb. i made it through because i continued to hang with intellect – steadily on the wings of the IMMACULATE. my ancestors and strangers cruise by in passing cars – they’ve honked in approval or disgust. their thoughts were mine and mine were theirs. in the search for better days my WEDNESDAY’S favored AUGUST and the weekend’s became May. the written word forms when ‘CRE MET ATE‘.’

the BLESSING is that we are ALL here! the numbers add and the symbols divide into a splattered emergence featuring miscellaneous cotton candy. ETC, ETC = BLAH, BLAH!

The Signature of Millaca to Salvanix

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“The Words Of My Burden, Have Trouble Catching Up With Your Relief.”

Milllaca wrote this signature every day, in hope that Salvanix would read the letters of his heart. he knew he never could write in vain, for these were words too powerful to disqualify. everyday he wrote that these troubles would run very fast to the relief of a situation. he felt that Salvanix, the lady & love of his life – could never understand the true emotions his burden.

Milllaca understood his troubles could never run faster than the relief of Salvanix. therefore, he wrote to her every day the letters of his compassion and she answered them in coy smiles.

wearing fitted suits every day – Milllaca & Salvanix did this – only in public, to display their fixed attitudes on the moving galaxies around them.

Salvanix often questioned why he did things so, Milllaca always argued back and said this was just his “flow”.

living in a serene compartment to avoid the weight of the outside associations, they kept themselves schooled in acknowledging – every speaking solitude. Milllaca tightly cuffed himself within the links of his fashion.

while Salvanix fastened herself in the loose possibilities for more freedom.

however, there came a time when the perfection of each profession became far too controlled. when the time came to move from the confides of peace, the both of them moved to the wild islands of the open future ahead of them.

the colors of this island reminded them of where they both started the existence of themselves. it was something about the bright colors of the butterfly wings which carried the significance to each of them.

the rocks on this island felt more real than it did before, and Milllaca felt he would never return to the compartment of confinement again.

here he was truly free and felt comfort in his clothes being loose on his body. the freedom of the “fit” proved successful, as he could fly with Salvanix without restraint. the ropes of hesitation always flew against the wall of Salvanix’s certainty. he knew deep inside she had to fly, but flying with him would still never catch up to her relief.

Salvanix cried every night because Milllaca could never escape the signature she thought was written on the tables of confinement. as the trees listened to her tears, Milllaca became very apprehensive in the way Salvanix read his emotion. he then wrote after having conversation with the trees a new signature to his beloved Salavanix: The Words Of My Relief, Have Trouble Catching Up With Your Burden”.

Salvanix stood very still, in the silence of emotions, and looked up with intensifying realizations into Milllaca’s dark brown eyes. Milllaca knew what was required and it was unequivocally more than a signature.

remembering the fitted allegiance to the control of their galaxies, he fastened his buttons in hope for an indication that he could still exist in confinement. In tightening his cuff links, he felt a scream within the sound of each agreement that he would be leaving the bagginess behind.

Salvanix SCREAMED…”Milllaca the signature requires more than a tight fix. I’ve never disqualified freedom in confinement, but you sometimes chose to live in a way which prohibits freedom.

live inside of me and exercise your words and I will attempt to drink your burden, but you must find a way to DEMONSTRATE to me your desired relief!”

Milllaca felt the hunger in his soul roar for the relief to be shown. he knew the natural urge was correspondent to the clashing chemical reactions in the room.

the button was the body in which the thread brought life and function. the cufflinks in the same manner, were a steadfast reminder of embodied stylized finesse. these buttons and cufflinks were emblematic of freedom fighters and his ancestral history.

to Millaca, these buttons and cuff links held significant meaning as each of them carried a record of recognition. not to mention the variation of color and styles made it an always faithful tool.

Salvanix hoped to discern the meaning behind the multiple curtains drawn. the ropes and walls of certainty both at odds with each other. as, she thought of the colorful islands and memories of the butterflies found. she then gazed upon these memories and removed her frustrations by unbuttoning the inhibitors holding her back.

Millaca and Salvanix both realized the embodied signatures required to bring relief or cause burden was never unable to be solved // they only needed to communicate the will to fly or to stay at bay. words and sentences never needed to catch up, they only needed to be demonstrated by a faithful and most understood signature.

P S Y C H O enCYCLopEdia

i am reading you for what you are –

a psycho encyclopedia. 

cycles and derivatives of:

nuts.

madness.

insanity.

craze.

and

haze! 

i’ve SEEN right before my eyes, the recurring loony buffoonery; presented in the finest, most eloquent dress.

BUT, the mirror is steadily asking you: when will you allow light to bounce off of its face?

it is all about – YOU! 

who?!

YOU!

you share twin ambition, with the narcissist – just another cognate of your existence.

what only seems to matter – is how anyone can service YOU, and YOUR needs.

who gives a damn about what WE all need, right?

how often you forget, that the cards are not sheltering a masquerade?

you have set the dial.

you have called the shame.

anything you demand – it’s all yours for the taking.

just PLEASE make sure – you’re KEENLY aware of the work, that needs to be figured out, before you clock in!

you are more than welcomed to:

try.

test.

provoke.

and, foment me!

you can even rearrange the statements i make, to suit your gaslighting agenda.

memories like this aren’t forgotten.

i write a spreadsheet everyday.

but ANYWAY, shall I continue to prolong your ears, with a constitution of facts, and emotional appeal?

you stopped listening the moment I said narcissist.

so, here’s the juice and ladle:

we shall continually carry on, in FULL knowledge of what the enCLYLopEdia suggests…

you are still more than welcomed to flash your face in between the bushes if you’d like.

but as sure as my eyes can read, and my mind can process – know that we do SEE YOU, and this time around?

well, we ain’t counting.

we’ve already turned the page.

Glory Story

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getting business half done is what gets us in trouble. for we should be on the move! life carries on whether we choose to caress it or not. i think it wise to be more tender to these ‘fleeting’ moments. we are swirling around other planets in this great connected yet a seemingly unconnected world of ours.

the earth is so large that our comprehension of it is very limited. the further you go out from it, you have to come back into it. the more water you drink the more you have to urinate. the more you talk…the more you need to shut up and listen. the more you know, the less you really do. everyone joins in this contradiction no matter how divorced we may seem from this reality. what is obvious to me is usually not obvious to you.

“ISN’T IT OBVIOUS THAT OBVIOUSLY, WE ARE OBLIVIOUS TO THE OBVIOUS?”

how do you get your information? does your media follow a consistent bias? does the truth matter? I’m among the first to admit, anytime i hear someone talk about ‘The Truth’ i start to see pyramid schemes and the many ways this ‘truth’ can be soiled through the exploitation of beli3f. if there is a ladder to successs, surely some are stepped on with no regard to their life. we’d like to believe the world is better than this that WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS.

all media is designed to program you and change the way you think. the internet influences through reaction and emotive dissonance. when we apply reason and detective like tendencies, we can recognize the patterns. all the while remembering: THE WORLD IS LARGE AND WE CARE MOSTLY IN THE ORDER OF OUR PROXIMITY TO CONVENIENCE.

did you hear the news?!

the gardner’s in green valley had their greatest harvest yet and the people of the city were given bags of harvest! isn’t that lovely? yeah but mostly for those in green valley. “i live in orange tunnel lake and we haven’t had a drop of rain since last november!!!”

i encourage the sharing of miscellaneous cotton candy (happiness) after all, some sweets are worth melting into the mouth. whether people are interested enough to share in your pleasures is anyone’s guess. this brings us back to the mass media and how they distribute data.

the mass media is the agency in which your information is received/believed/ processed / shared. what we like is not always indicative of what we know but what we’re feeling at particular moments. these feelings are fleeting and often forgotten until a new one comes around.

historians and anthropologists have tracked the changes in humanity and time and time we see the same habit. same time, same boogie. over and over – time and time again, there’s nothing new under the sun. the philosophers, hairstylists, and comedians all get this.

EVERYONE is arriving at different times and some didn’t eat breakfast. some partied too hard last night. and some got out of bed an hour later than expected! this means….

TRAFFIC JAM!!!

turns may lead to unexpected crashes, curves to implications and unreasonable reactions stemmed from lack of clarity. we can point to a host of reasons why we get things wrong. none of those reasons matter if we don’t seek to solve it. may we align our reactions in a solution based framework. when you feel, this gives a space to reveal the possible keys left, to be turned into doors of service.

the genre of music you like is completely independent to the customizations of society. for the country and hip-hop music fan, they have different tastes. sort of how arugula, has arguably a more peppery taste, than, spinach but when combined, a fascinating thing happens. a collision of nonsensical jargon that can’t meet up to the ladder of glory but there remains a story! for this reason, we carry on!

Hate & Chance

What is Hate? Well, hate is given to someone who has shown themselves uninterested in changing. Hate is an itch that must be scratched. Hate is when irresponsible to the ethics of morality (or what is seen as good).

We feel ‘hatred’ often when we are slightly inconvenienced. (It ain’t about you all the time motherfucka) But – It’s a valid feeling when it comes around. It’s almost as sweet as revenge. The passion that comes with hatred can be delightful. It would be like sticking your hands in a pack of skittles and consistently getting red, green, and peach colors. That tropical blend is an exquisite taste and so is hate on occasion! 😀

Hate is a plague and we redeem our connection to it, by divorcing it from our consciousness. Love doesn’t work with someone who can’t understand the language of love. I suppose it can but then it’s transformed into something else. Speaking to someone in riddles only works if they have lunch with the Oracle. Otherwise, riddles and witticisms may come across as nonsensical to others. (Which by then Willy Wonka should have already reminded you – that everyone who buys a ticket, WINS: Although it may not be golden – the chocolate is still good to eat!)

Love makes rooms to sympathize that some are in error and others wish to recover that which has steered off its path. If by chance hate and love work together it is through the fashion like manner of love. Love can be worn on messy bodies – but if you musty, you shouldn’t try on clean clothes. It’s better to wash clean from dirt before wearing new fabrics.

If by chance hate and love can work together – it is through the awareness of harmonic convergence. When the lights gamble with darkness. Either one of them will win at different times.
The chances that hate is seen as love are few in which case, by then…

 

Written days ago but upon the motion of right now – a sadness breeds reflection and resolution.

Destination: Splash Utopia

“Paradise is fiction to the hearts without enchanted flash.

The riddle of movement and flow begins at the sound of the splash.”

AND NOW THERE’S DESSERT #2 – Splash Utopia served by Jeremy Garner who handles all the music and production. I love this track because of the guitar and the changes in this song! Jeremy is one of the most underrated musicians, I’ve had the pleasure to work with. He sent this song to me and blew my head off. I hope you do enjoy!

 

https://soundcloud.com/jestereyesound/splash-utopia-ft-jeremy-garner

Remember – On YouTube is where to find me and Jeremy Garner’s Latest Collaborations!

Obsession With Filling (Feeling) The Page

I gotta feel what I’m writing. In search of this ‘feeling’, I’ve had to wrestle with just how much I’m writing on a page. If I write too little will people think I had little to say? If I write too much – got damn, I’m on my Jester Rants! (Btw, my YouTube channel will resurrect with more content this year!)

I want to win but I know losing is literally trying to find out what people like/want. Trying to fit in what people expect is much like the weather. It changes from day to day, although it’s much easier to know your target market through proper analytics! I must heed this while breaking into new areas.

The motivation, inspiration, and persuasion have always been a wavy sense of connection. I’m an explorer and the more I Search – I see an undeniable encoding in various life experiences.

The more I dig, the greater this connection speaks to me. As I’m writing this – I’m already seeing several ways this blog is gonna go. How do I maintain my focus without losing the ‘feeling’?

You feel me?

It’s important to chase the feeling and follow it wherever it leads you. As of now – my thoughts are leading me to fill the space. We don’t have to keep writing but the more I do – the closer I am to getting to my point.

The lines are drawn and the door is open. The more I write what I feel, the clearer I see how everything is connected. After all, buttons Connect and that’s why we button up our shirts. The symbols I see in everyday interaction come to life through my words. My words will become a platform for discovering the hidden and visible.

I find that at times, I’m caught in between the insufferable *but pleasurable* thigh of allegory and innuendo. I enjoy the warm embrace of making sense out of philosophical possibilities. This can be a task too daunting for my readers. It makes you read a lens not so commonly visited. You stand to benefit with this-this is a remix. Something that’s already been said but my way.

2018 is here and already 14 Days Into it, I’ve had to put in the work before it arrived. I use to say “I always am writing” but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I can’t always write otherwise – I wouldn’t have time to process, read, or observe. What is true though – is I can encourage myself to write with knowledge of a paycheck or simple creative fun. Getting into the habit of writing helps me contextualize those random words that always seem to float somewhere.

This year – I am taking more seriously the notion that I’m writing a book. I’m gonna need your help. It won’t write itself but the basis of it is already laid out.

I’m excited to share with you what more my pen will reveal. After all – It’s all about writing until the pens run out! Only this time – I ain’t doing it just to fill the page as long as I’m feeling it, the hope is that you will too!

Bless up!

The Opening Quest

In preparation for further development of my book, I decided to answer several questions from one of my favorite authors Dushka Zapata.

These questions set the tone for 2018 while also inspiring me to invite you to send me questions that you have thought about existence. The goal isn’t to overthink but to answer with what you feel in the heart of the moment.

Here are my favorite 14 questions.

1. “If life had no meaning, what meaning would I create for mine?”

I’d create a meaning that would mean something to me tomorrow. A meaning that has enough nutrition to last for me and those who came after me. If no others came after me then the meaning would have to be enough to satisfy me even when I’m bored. Something to make me laugh and cry because it’s all so beautifully complex.

2. “If there was no purpose to our existence, what purpose would I give to mine to shield myself from existential despair?”

I would make it a mission to make someone think about their life and what they can do with it. I would want them to laugh at how ironic this whole game of life is. I would want to show myself and people around me how life is so short and how we should chase what gives us that rush.

3. “What matters to me? Why? And once I figure this out, can I determine an order of importance?”

Freedom matters most to me. To be at full liberty without the worry that I must stop at the disadvantage of someone’s inability to respect my equilibrium. If I could get out of someone’s way to their freedom. Establishing importance would mean to know it’s not just about me.

4. “Is there a healthy, logical correlation between my priorities and how I spend my time? If not, why?”

I give myself too much time for tasks I feel can wait. I must embed a pattern of usual, so I don’t buy into the distractions because god knows I have binged on many distractions. I think I have bought so much time because I see time as an illusion and I feel I always have time, but I’ve come to realize I don’t always have time. It’s always leaving me when I gain it.

5. “What am I afraid of? Can I learn to distinguish the fear that protects me from the fear that stops me?”

“They say everybody is afraid of something although I don’t know what actually makes me afraid now. I am drawn to the unknown and I believe fear makes us strong at times. I suppose my fear is to be consistent in the most western way of doing it. (I must always pay my bills and have enough left over) Constantly making enough that is sufficient and inspiring enough to last. The best way for me to distinguish it is to fail occasionally and not feel guilty about it.”

6.”What happens when I get what I want? Is it glorious, empty, triumphant, anticlimactic? Why?”

I usually feel content with it. Sometimes when I want something so very badly and get it – I don’t feel like it was worth the wanting. I would like to capture the gloriousness more because there’s substance in playing in that feeling. I think it becomes anticlimactic because I knew I could get it – I just didn’t think I would survive the trip to get there.

7. “What does happiness mean to me? What makes me happy and how can I capture that elusive sensation more often?”

Happiness means more laughter and learning found in simple and complex things. I think if I read more, the joy of happiness will show up more.

8. “What hurts me? How can I become stronger against what causes me to suffer? How and where can I learn to suffer less? How can I remind myself that the person who makes me suffer the most is me?”

I hurt myself when I don’t own up to my decisions and how they influence others. I should remember that I am in the driver’s seat and that my reactions can be calmer. To be mindful of silence and that words don’t always have to be spoken.

9. “What is left of me if I attempt to define myself without leaning on anything I do? I am a student, I am a writer, I am a mom, I am a manager, I am a Vice President – these are all things I do. Who am I? Where is she?”

This is a very complex one. I am here and while I am here, I want to make as much hell and fun on this trip. I observe, sleep, learn and then convert this knowledge into love for everyone around me.

10. “How can I avoid losing myself in my relationships? What are my boundaries and how do I enforce them?”

One way is to have a clear understanding that we do not belong to each other but that we are only appreciating and honoring each other’s company. That we live with the knowledge that we can together but sometimes we may steer to our own strengths by ourselves. I can enforce my boundaries by staying true to myself without shame or pressure.

11. “What do my feelings teach me about myself? If I feel anger or jealousy, can I learn not to react to these feelings but instead determine what they are trying to tell me?”

They are trying to tell me to maybe rearrange what I do not understand. To Ask more questions and to speak softly and to apologize when I’ve assumed too much. I can learn by simply remembering people are often in the same state as me. They just want clarity.

12. “What happens when I sit in silence?”

I find that the stillness in myself is still yearning to speak to myself in riddles of nothing but me, myself, and I.

13. “How can I better manage change? How can I get better at accepting how little control I have?”

Knowing that I did not choose to be born here at the time I was. Some parts are played long before I got here.

14. “How would I like to be remembered?”

“Remembered for good company with a fresh willingness to open a door that people didn’t really think about turning, making them laugh while thinking.”

If you got through all of my answers to these magnificent questions, I applaud your interest endearingly! I encourage you to answer some of these questions as well! I wanted to start 2018 with these questions because they would open up my understanding of myself and where I want to go.

I am making it a mission to write way more while reading, listening, and observing.

We can do this thing together – narrating and asking. This will help us climb the ladder for clarity among all living things!

((*Every 7th of the month from now until March – I’ll post 3 of my favorite questions (& 7 replies) that I find correlates with the book I’m working on! If you have any questions that you have asked at any time // feel free to email me at jesterj7@hotmail.com

Peddle Deep

I was peddling so hard – I didn’t know how close I was to falling down, until about 28 minutes ago! Ever get in the mood for just a race? You want to run so far as if some zombie is coming behind you! When you got that kind of motivation your legs become even more determined to go faster!

My legs were fully inspired. By the time, I was just about to get to my destination. It dawned on me – I had to stop before coming body first into a collision. (Duh!) Before nearly crashing -I hit the breaks HARD! So hard where I nearly fell off my damn bike!

Luckily tho, my instincts kicked in right in time for me to feel how close I was to falling off. My hands grabbed the handlebars earnestly. Like a man in love holds his lover in the time of delight, I was holding onto dem bars TIGHT!

Suddenly, my feet slid at an angle where it then dragged for several seconds while gulping equilibrium in the process. To make matters more sensitive – I had on soft Nike’s too. I got up – having realized I made it to my destination without falling off. Basically: It hurt like hell at the time it was all done.

As I walked up to put the bike back in place – I felt a pulsating pain. I legit thought I had fractured my ankle. I was happy I didn’t fall off. If the breaks were not engaged – I would have easily run on various solid surfaces.

I guess it didn’t matter how hard I was peddling – as long as I made it to my destination safely. A bit bruised up? Yes. A pep in my step due to avoiding my body crashing? Yes. But no long-term pains.

This taught me a valuable lesson: No matter how fast you’re going. How determined you are. You’re gonna have to stop. You’d be pressed to remember soon before it’s too late. So, peddle deep but take it easy around the corners – remember to break with a considerable sloth BEFORE arriving at your destination.

Gradual (Not Immediate) Approximately

Are you aware of the ‘Trans-Theoretical Model’? (TTM)

It comes in 5 Stages:

(1) Pre-contemplation – When one is unaware that change is necessary.

(2) Contemplation – When one recognizes the problem but not fully committed to changing it.

(3) Preparation – When one decides a change is necessary – When one Makes an effort.

(4) Action – When one puts into motion the action to deal with the problem.

(5) Maintenance – Goes hand in hand with action – Also where urges arise to encourage a relapse into the same behaviors.

We don’t always take into account how long It takes to changing behavioral patterns. As most things in life teach us – it ain’t that simple and the complications should be honored. These steps provide a layout that reminds us of the pieces that form the full picture of recovery. Even when you’re on the last step – it’s important to keep track of progress.

It’s easy and expected to get lost on your road to recovery and it’s very plausible that you may relapse. We aren’t always understanding of this struggle but exercising empathy is one of the best traits we can use for one another. This doesn’t mean we excuse toxic behavior in favor or someone’s journey – but again to exercise empathy is a great reward.

At best we are only approximating solutions. We’re all looking through the glass dimly through scuffs and bruises. Which is close enough, TBh. We are gradually getting to where we need to be. If history serves us correctly, it takes time and failure.

Trial and error.

We can learn an awful lot if we use what’s around us to our advantage. There is a lot which is beyond our reach but so many things close to our distance. It’s better if we deal with what’s in front of us rather than overlook what’s just around the corner.

Which leads me to my next point.

When was the last time you thought about the importance of reading?

NEWS FLASH: Most folks – don’t read.

Headlines are not articles. Articles aren’t always volumes but if properly condensed you can pack a lot of information in a few paragraphs. You don’t have to travel to discover more about the people around you. Reading is fundamental and while this is clear – it’s often forgotten about. Books are becoming less and less interested in mass consumption.

The link between bad behaviors and reading inevitably cross in light of new information.

It suddenly dawned me on just how a vast many of us are indeed ‘programmed’. When I say suddenly – I don’t mean out of nowhere. It didn’t reveal itself from the blanket of nothingness. Rather – upon careful observation of our various climates and conditions. We (Humans) are a special breed of Living energies and the way we cope knowledge and information have never been easier at the dawn of this internet age.

^^ I saw this and laughed myself into a deeply thoughtful analysis which is the basis of this blog post.

How many of us are really informed because of the tools made available to us for FREE on the Internet? Water is life and So is The Internet and I’ve already talked about this before – so I won’t go too far on that.

When I think of being ‘programmed’ it’s not by some pseudo prophetic cyber chip implanted in our fingers and hands. It’s more indirect. We have far better access than we’ve ever had in history. Regardless of this, many of us are ignorant of those around us. We simply don’t know because we’re plugged into the system of paying bills and finding out what’s next to eat. This pattern of daily living can get ruthless and if you’re not stimulating your brain by renewing perspectives – like a languid body sitting constantly, you become stuck.

We may not be DEEP or Intellectual enough to break it down from the micro and macro but with the connection of knowledge, we can stay informed. Don’t know? Get up and exercise your right to ask.

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t have to be all the way there. You can approximate your way to the answer.

HmmMorocco!

The smells. The feels. The luring. The invitation. The persuasion. The price. The Africa! Morocco has been such a thrill since we landed on the soil. There’s a lot about Morocco that I haven’t fully grasped – (like the driving including donkeys, motorcycles, bicycles, and cars). However so much more about it has really inspired me.

Every day so far feels like a new adventure. There’s no real map of reason in terms of what to expect. The roads lead to narrow paths – narrated by a stray cat looking to past you into times past. It’s easy to get lost in the matrix of endless chances to buy and to experience. No amount of preparing can really put you in the place of being ready for what’s around the corner. It can literally be anything – I’ve not yet turned into an empty corner. Even the blankness of some alleys is filled with mystery and impending curiosity.

The best way I could describe it: You’d have to walk the streets to get the best experience of it. Granted, I’ve never been to the third world before this. I’m not even sure why we call it the third world. It’s the same world we live but the rules in how we live are way different. The people here seem so equipped in determining who is a tourist and who isn’t. My partner and I stick out like a sore thumb. She dresses with style and me myself – my hair turns a lot of faces! Some have called me Mr.Obama or even Rastafarian man. At any rate, some are curious in how they determine where someone is from. 😀

I’m living and that’s what it is all about. Life is meant to be shared and with good company, memories are even sweeter. Every color paired with a texture of experience is Kaleidoscopic. We have been on our toes with each moment. Prepared the best way we know how to – something you learn to expect. You can’t always negotiate the inevitable. Whether you are aiming high or low – you’ll land where satisfaction rises to the top.

Hand in hand – Experiences are treasures to the mind. You can never fail at the taste of the different spices. Learning to be educated while also growing to teach what one has gained. So much more to hand out – I’m just getting started. Ain’t it fun?

Tremendous & Superfluous (That’s Delicious)

That’s delicious.

This kind of taste is the necessary elixir needed for a life like mine. A vacation. A place to lay my head in spite of the constant noise. Every once in a while – I gotta bite from the sugar rush. A climb up the mountain so that I can chill with the clouds. Traveling away hasn’t harmed anyone. When you know what’s coming for you and what ain’t.

It’s always wise to count the strings and to take measures before you arrive. If you’re planning to go anywhere – Draw a map. Make it plain. For so much work is put into avoiding a crash. We must secure our deposits. Tie down the alluring spend. If there’s anything we want, it’s certainty that our check is coming on time.

What a superfluous kiss this is. When our long waited goals will kiss the lips of manifestation. I can’t hide my smile when a graceful strut of fulfillment comes knocking for me. Don’t you like it when it’s coming for you!

It’s delicious – when the sexy embrace of ‘What’s mine’ arrests me onto secret floors. My joy is exposed.

While much happier now, I feel my kisses have been wasted – It’s taken a tremendous amount of effort to get to this point. Nonetheless, this is where we at!

My taste for more offers temptation to my curious feet. They walk up the stairs carefully guided by the aura of foreplay. With careful nature – We must caress time as we have it in our arms. The amount of attention we pay is instructed by the value we set. How can we know what is ours and what’s theirs? Upon the table being set, why not rush in earnest desire to be fed? Why wait?

For when the table is set – the seats are ready to get warm. The bread invites us to partake. It’s better if we can crumble it down to the finest it can be. Allowing the sweetness to absorb on our tongues. Ain’t no need to rush this feeling tho. When it’s like a cow chewing cud – 1,000 rotations a minute. This food is fine and yes, delicious to the belly and mind. Eating slowly and slowly.

Tremendous and Superfluous – a race to the finest taste. Guaranteed to be delicious cuz the seasonings make a difference. You may be a little too much or not enough but you’re guaranteed a delicious bite. It’ll make you go Hmmm! I wonder how I didn’t figure it out before? It’s alright tho, cuz it’s delicious when everything is Tremendous and Superfluous!

BaManifesto💥

What’s gained is lost.

By the measures of reduction via conversion. You can’t have a proper conversation without some kind of reduction.

Don’t let this dismay or upset you.
Life is also about the giving and the taking. Basically: you gotta pay da bills.

I know – crazy right? You got to work to survive on a planet you didn’t even ask to be in. That’s a reason to be upset sometimes.

The less you have the more is expected to be given.

Society tends to be stupid. Yeah, I think you know that by now but it’s stupider than you think. Society forces you to talk when silence is needed.

You can’t do anything that is validated anymore because if your audience reach is everyone – you’ll certainly disappoint someone.

Hence the stupidity of society – you get framed when you ain’t even the picture. You won’t be able to please everyone because some people require different lengths of a garment for what’s fitted.

If you do it – it’s a REACH. If you don’t do it – you missed the opportunity to cash in. So either way // What’s gained is lost. The flow of what’s good comes at a cost.

How well are you counting the steps to what’s gonna turn into a disaster?

It’s only a matter of time before it all hits a landslide. Then BAM – you gotta deal with the explosive manifesto.

LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST!

You can burn with the fire of the sun and drown in the water of life. Before the alarm goes off you have to make sure you’re prepared. I’m doing what I have to do so I’ll arrive on time. This doesn’t stop, parallel winds that confuse you and aim to confiscate your jewelry and chains.

Before you know it, you’re left penniless and homeless.

No place to go only hopeful dreams to fill the void in your head. If only you invested your last change – your wallet would be fat and your cards stacked. The course of life left you with only the leaves of spring.

The wind remains a charm to your destination. Like a bag in the air- you’ll fly away with a random gust of navigation. The atom then splits and the party invites you to come and groove.

I’m cool on that as long as I don’t buy into thoughts that I can’t compensate. Beyond the light – we all ache to compensate for the darkness we have not yet found.

This darkness is within us and we can’t escape the pull of its fierce reality.

From the sadness of childhood contemplation, we then reach inside our souls. These tears are found within the wishing well of our remembrance. For we can not neglect the motions that have brought conviction to the current.

Waves are set and have boarded in a resistance that must be awakened. For sleeping in the dream is an alarm to our subconscious. It’s no wonder why we react because our childhood has been tortured.

The passages of neglect have been misplaced on the shelf. A book like this is to be remembered and the mirror shows us our deepest revelations. Honest trees are in our garden and those seeds were planted decades before.

The wind blows against the branches and when the moonlight shines – the darkness returns. Only to be remembered by a shadow cast by the dim light upon the roots.

Harmony Joined By The Element of Surprise

Everything is entwined even the surprises of life. Connection to life exists beyond what is seen with the naked eye, somethings are animated rather extravagantly. Don’t be fooled by the robust and the dramatic appearance of your life experiences. It’s not that deep but it is that complex as you might imagine – so live by every moment to enjoy it. Even the stuff that doesn’t make that much sense eventually finds its meaning – Purpose is then understood by a dream, vision, or hallucinating pulling off your mind.

REMEMBER: You are boundless like an animation on the computer screen. There is no limit or draw to where you can go. If there is any limit at all – it’s due to what you’ve placed on yourself. In the stillness, there’s movement although it may move at a small pace. The surprises of life are hidden by your direct vision. You ain’t gonna see it until it manifests itself against your knowledge of preparation.

Even the most absurd can become reality in the game of surprises.

Which is why you got to check yourself before you wreck what is due to throw a party for you. Don’t ruin the moment by running too far into your safe place. The whim of a cliffhanger is to keep you guessing and pondering the possibilities.

The clear disposition of character is found in the delivery of attitude. What can be brought to the table when the cards have been drawn against the odds? Play hard but go easy. You have nothing left to fear, everything is at one with the center. Even when you’re told there’s no position to play, you can create your own playground. The laws of this game are no more when you bend to your beta version.

I’m gonna do my best to blow the horn and make sure they hear me. If you are on this road, you must yield to surprises at some point in time. Even when you can’t see them.

Whenever I can follow the measure in time for hearing – I’ll have my eyes and ears open. I won’t mellow out into the night where the stars may come to find me. I’ll rise early on the day where the clouds meet my lips of intention. I’ll be joined with harmony and the element of surprise. Flying into the element of surprise. I’m captured on the wings of magic bliss. Never ending possibilities are seen to rain on my head. A metaphor of the beast is sunken again by the relation of poetry charms.

Cosmic Dance

Death // while you may be following me with your creepy gaze, I am alive in the galaxies around me. Here’s to breathing life for everything that exists in the cosmos! ✨🍷

This year has been filled with transitions. I don’t ever use the word DEATH in a literal sense because I’ve always seen death to be a transcendence of some kind.

It’s the end in a sense but the beginning of another. Sudden whip of transcendence can come as a surprise because it’s seen to be a thief of time. It comes as no surprise that things are sort of written but who knows if the pen is random or by choice?

I’ve come to understand there is nothing to be known about the shit I don’t know. So, I’m not gonna pretend to be informed when I didn’t read the manual.

You got to check yourself before you assume that you absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, know why things are the way they are.

Cuz XYZ might be the last 3 of 26 // but ABC is the first 3 of 26. 😁

Ask yourself questions about the universe but don’t be surprised when it gives you answers back. All of it comes right back to you. Even the stuff you dismissed because you couldn’t see that far yet.
Maybe you were further away from the light, so you saw dimly. There’s space in between to get lost in the depth of knowledge.

Sometimes a lot of reality seems unbelievable, but it’s not.

Life is historic.

The more you study people and the world around them, they are ever so fascinating and undeniably predictable. Life draws parallels with our dreams. Dreams then live on to reflect an understanding of possibility.

There’s This, That, There, or over by the corner but on the same street.

Black holes, White Matter, and gray choices.

And another thing: God is whatever you define God to be. Like a perspective. Approach. Idea. Dream. Void. Galaxy. Past. Nothing or Everything. A reaction or a cause? However, you spell it out – if you do any spelling at all.

Everything is fully aligned like the planets around the sun. They are also in orbit – so there’s a slow dance going on.

Death plays a part in it.

Some may consider it divine. Cosmic. Revelation.

Time is yours to define. It’s just you in the middle of a bunch of people dancing.

Some people are Uniformed while others are Deranged but in the middle there’s you.

Sitting in the middle of the party – wanting to dance like crazy or just chilling with a drink in your hand.

What You Got To Say?

What Chu Got To Say?

Nothing and EVERYTHING. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. An ounce of “Have you heard?” and a pound of “why is this?”.

*I heard is not the same thing as I read*

Questions and curiosity.

I’m seeing what my eyes perceive. All at once – it’s happening again. My senses are overwhelmed once again.

I didn’t know what to say at first.

I’ve been afraid perhaps.

Reactions are judged so harshly.

Without sound proof of origin – the assumption is at the door. Everyone is knocking loud on assumptions door, wondering if they are invited in.
Who’s unlocking the reason now? They didn’t even bother to ring the doorbell.

*ding – dong*

Whoops.

I spoke too soon. Now they are here. What do I do with these ideas now? Before I speak I’m careful. I rather silence but then people would think I’m dumb.

Maybe numb?

They yell and scream at me – didn’t you say – “ueoeodmcnwlslxm xjwkxkmxdkls d kdlallqs SLS LLDB’s blah, yum, fum, drop, dribble, and triple..”

No, I didn’t forget the miscellaneous words that were tossed but that was on a different day. A day when all of that made sense now we are here.

Don’t fight the feeling.

BUT

YET

AGAIN…….

Threats are hijacked by reason.

Great!

So we’re gonna be on trial again. Questions after questions. Interrogation.Getting to the nerve. The center. Why did we come to be? Did we see this coming?

Of course, we did. It was written in the stars. The stars are millions of light-years away.

How do we reach them? Can they be reached or only wished for?

“When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are…”

Or maybe it does matter who you are? Maybe it’s privilege? What if you are rich? Would the gods care more then?

And if so – which god?

What do you say? Maybe you’re being guided? Maybe you are just following along with the flow?

What do you know? The lesson is recorded in the books. I know you wanna travel and see the world. The closer you’ll get to that is by opening the book. Read another chapter. Better yet – live your book. Go ahead and escape into further worlds.

They are waiting and I am too. So I’ll bury myself under words until the illustration makes a clear path.

So I know what is nothing but everything because I’m in reach for knowledge.

HIGHLIGHTERS

I’ve been writing every day as a method to clear a path of healing for me. Writing has always been the most fluent way possible for me to reach a place of clarity in my life. When things get reckless, I write. When I triumph- I write. Even if I’m not sharing everything, keeping a journal and record of what happens is a great reminder to reflect on what life offers. What ends up happening, however, is a formula becomes adopted to achieve proper schedules of releasing what I’m writing. This eventually becomes mundane and then recycled algorithms become the nature of writing. At least for me, this has been the case lately.

When should I release it? Will this gain interest? Am I writing to solely gain interest? As a writer, I’m constantly plotting what stories to release which would engage the reader. I’m also hanging on the whims of innuendo and the symbolism. I enjoy the playground that comes with words and poetry. Escaping with words to find a deeper reality. Not talking so much is actually a window for exploration of possibility.

The word abbreviation is a long ass word. The definition is clear – to shorten. Limiting the space in the room. It’s a journey to write the lines behind and ahead of me. My life is about highlighting the pockets in between my dream and waking life reality. The course of social media is full of highlighters.
This is the age where everything, all at once is being shared. (Even that one status that released way too much personal info😳) This, That, and the *Third* is all over the Internet. These feeds are directly constructed to your own liking. What we want to see are largely based on what we choose. We are selective at best. We choose to ignore or focus on whatever interests us.

What’s feeding you is what others are being fed? “You are what you eat” or I suppose you are eating what’s been eaten by others. It can completely depend on context obviously but we are reminded of the other happenings in the world based on what other people share. Everyone is sharing and some really care, some don’t.

The illumination of poetry helps me escape when the cry for redundancy takes over. I have to give time for digestion – I’m sensitive to energy AF. To Emotion. To the thing that makes us react and think. Body Language is telling. (It surreal at times because my subconscious is paying attention deeply) The fire is hot and the truth is to uncover those things that we might want to run away from.

When one adopts the fullness of fire – one is not afraid to be made aware. Truth comes to open you up to your vulnerable misunderstanding.

There is always more to the story than what you’ve heard or processed. Tasting the light means being filled with illumination. Words can be spoken to shift the paradigm of where the sound is soon to go next. In the essence of color and vision is the statement of light. The words will come as long as you stay faithful to the life that you are living. Beautiful days are one with the days that bring sorrow – how well do you pay attention to the cross streets of thunder and sound?
Pages are highlighted by significant details of recognition. I’m taking notes of what is noticeably there. Note for note. Line by line. I’m reading the passages before me as constructed by the passing of time. I’ve found it more efficient to write under the spell of passion. I’m reading the book of life by virtue of experience, constantly highlighting the moments to seize as information. Time must be recycled again and back to the fire I begin. It pleases me only to taste of what can become of myself. To venture far away in my head – dreams that build a kingdom out of reality. I want to be real at this moment before I wake up. To discard the mask and swallow the pills of my dreams. The side effect is my waking life. Worming through until I can properly manifest a life I’ve always dreamt.

Characters In The Wind

The Full Length Film ‘Characters In The Wind’. My Film Debut. Featuring Narration, Poetry, and Music! Shot in New Zealand. The Script? Improvisation.

Asking for donations of only 7.33 // or whatever your heart desires!

paypal.me/jessejenkins or for those who do not have PayPal Me // You can send donations through jesse7complete@gmail.com

This project was filmed while I was staying in New Zealand for 3 months. Its main focus is listening to all that is around – and recording what is happening.

I can speak on and on, but it’s best if you listen yourself! Thank you to everyone involved in this project! So many people were involved, and I want to say a BIG thank you from the bottom, top, side, and all around Heart!

 

Janet And The Unbreakable Determination of Oct-November…

November – First – Two-Thousand And Fifteen, Eye *finally* saw Janet Jackson in Concert at the Target Center here in Minneapolis! I can go on and on about my love for her, but without going too far, let me just say I was right on time! I was supposed to see her back in 2011, where I actually won tickets to see her along with a friend backstage for her ‘Number Ones, Up Close, and Personal’ Tour. Long story short, and tears Aside…I had a ticket for New Orleans I just purchased and I could not miss the flight. My friend, however, got to meet her and take a picture with her. As we know, that was the last time she actually toured until now in 2015. SO I had to wait four years!

She was everything I had hoped from a show. The songs were in balance, she was totally in spirit. The set list was a great combination of both her back catalog and newer material. She can still get down and dance with perfect rhythm! The band
was tight and her dancers are superb! So many people came out to show their love and support. She remains one of the beautiful and energetic performers around! Seriously, the way she moves and engages is pure magic. Not to mention sings with such tenderness and lightness.

The mayor of Minneapolis even came out (along with Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis) and announced November 1st – in Minneapolis will be recognized as Janet Day. So thanks to Janet for kicking me in the face – with another concert experience worth amazing memories. November is due to be a very suspenseful month – October still was one of the most active months I could ever recall.

I am brought into a more somber and reflective state of mind, because of the hurricane of October. Finally breathing and surrounding myself with brain waves that are brighter and more radiant. I’m now developing, which has become a great way to sharpen my determination. Colors are being introduced again, and my process is still going// just very faintly.

I’m really excited about the passion and fearless assignment I’m engaged in. There is no room for failure, I’m coded in authentic reflex. I feel like a rebel with a cause, with the letter of action.

As for my pen?

Well, It’s filled with the ink of passion of course!

The Disguise of Passion

The disguise of passion is often announced in a dramatic form.

A form that carries weight with conviction and sound stubbornness. 

Yet, it is the most real thing about ourselves.

Our journey airs a testimony to the gravity of its measure.

Passion settles down and marries emotion in whichever way it comes.

Like intercourse, there is an intimate relationship between the way passion is embraced with emotion.

It’s a race of some kind of enlightening fire, that can’t be tamed.

Just remember, its disguise is a clothing that eventually, must come off.

The naked and most unadulterated form of passion needs no clothes.

It’s dramatically realistic because it exhibits true boldness.

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Sound & Story

Don’t ever tell your kids they can’t listen to all kinds of music because it’s secular, worldly, or what you call ‘The Devil’s Music.”

It’s one of the worst ways to indoctrinate a child.

A lot of Pentecostal, Baptist, and NonDenominational churches in particular – really have a narrow view on what MUSIC is. (Or even what a STORY is, based on what some determine as explicit content.) Religious and conservative people alike, tend to preach the most against this.

Music is one of the best ways to learn about who we are. Rhythm makes you dance, and that ain’t ever a bad thing.

Start identifying with a context of sound and stories, before you generalize all music as being wrong or somehow unhealthy. For the longest of time, I never knew what a lot of music sounded like because I was afraid that it wasn’t right. I wasn’t taught correctly, so I ended up incorrectly interpreting what sound is.

Don’t be misled by some misinterpretation of what Good music is supposed to sound like or feel. Listen to all kinds of sounds and vibrations, and engage with clarity. The music ends up catching up to you anyway.

That’s the goal. It’ll bring you together somehow.

“Everything Comes From Sound, All Vibrating Under The Crown “- ‘AINTURNINAROUND | PLECTRUMELECTRUM | 3RDEYEGIRL | PRINCE

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Psychedelic Vibration (A Spontaneous Night With Shpongle)

 

Lately, my experiences have been spontaneously laced with a riddle. Last night was exactly that. (3/27/15)
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I’m not entirely familiar with Shpongle but by the recommendation out of a conversation with my homie Jeremy. He makes music himself, which has several different styles incorporated.

 

Check him out on: http://jeremygarnermusic.bandcamp.com/

The both of us, have collaborated in times passed, and we have recently paired up in the near future (AFLW). I value his taste and interest, as we connect on a similar level, as it concerns sound and the ways in which vibration is understood.

So, when he mentioned to me, that Shpongle was actually performing in MPLS – I found the opportunity worth seizing. I wasn’t exactly doing anything and I know what experience he had when he witnessed him. Granted, his experience was not just music, it was more of a trip. We both ended up experiencing the similar effects.

Several different tides occurred which made the concert even more eventful. For starters, Jeremy wrote a book out of inspiration from listening to their music which he mailed off to me months ago. We were hoping maybe, I could pass it onto Shpongle himself. On my way out, I ended up carrying the book in my backpack. Although, I was told there was a strict NO BACKPACK Policy. SO I had to unwillingly place the backpack underneath a car, as I was not wanting to go back on the train to bring it back.

To my surprise, I arrived extremely early (About 9:20) because Shpongle was not set to perform until midnight. Overwhelmed by the anxiety of my bag being underneath a car, and the sweat and energy of drunk people besides me. I decided to leave, to only return back closer to his set. That also meant, getting something to eat! Which was a win, as I was extremely hungry!

I ate and made my way back on the train back to the event. (No backpack with me, as I managed to put the book in my coat) As soon, as I arrived back to the venue, there was an overwhelming amount of people all seemingly within a trace, responding to the master Shpongle. The music was different from anything I had ever experienced. Usually, I would be against going to an event like this, because it’s Electronica for the most part. A music genre I am extremely critical of in the POP sense. (Maybe if it wasn’t so dominating, and if there was a mix of it on the radio) But Shpongle manages to translate his sound in a unique vibration.

 

Firstly, everyone, there was all invested. Some of them with lights on their hands dressed with individual gadgets of lights. SO many different kinds of people and it seemed that all of them came with a purpose. All of them responding to the music in their own way.

On top of that, they were intoxicated, and many of them were smoking. Yet the energy was somehow plural and singular. Plural in that, all of them were consciously speaking the same language. BUT singular in that, all of them spoke the way they understood it.

The bass and sounds were entering into me with a baptizing effect. Like I was drinking in all of the sounds. At one point I had to move to an isolated part of the room because some people were banging their heads on me.HA!

 

Once, I managed to find an area, I closed my eyes and noticed the unpredictability of the music. There were very few loops, as I was always surprised when the next stab came along. For about an hour and 20 mins, Shpongle became an instrument. It was a very detailed experience filled with visuals and trance. I think, if I was alone experiencing it, it would be a very abstract experience even more so. With all the people there with me, made it a very collective journey. AND once again, all equipped with different clothing.

I was mesmerized by the vibration, and really glad I managed to make it, even as I felt very alone. Alone, in the sense that I was limited in my expression of the vibration because I was trying to understand it. I tried to find Shpongle after the show, but security was heavy so I was not able to give him the book, but ALL things in perfect timing!

On my way home, the whole thing took a greater turn for confusion. So many people were drunk – cause it’s the weekend, and people want to have fun with the spirits. While waiting for the train, it arrived about 30 minutes after the show. (So about 2:46AM) I did something I never thought I was capable of doing. FELL ASLEEP ON THE TRAIN.

Granted I was tired, but I did not expect to respond to my sleep by actually falling asleep! I woke up at the airport terminal, and I had to wait about 3 and 1/2 hours before the train came. What made it more an eerie experience was that one of the guys there tried to attack me. He failed. Yet, he succeeds in that he got 8 dollars after I threw it at him. It amazes me how spirits engage the personality. I really started to feel for him as I noticed his pleas.

I was not harmed, if anything it woke me up. There was ultimately no threat, only an invitation to what’s around me.

I really enjoyed the experience overall, as now I have a better understanding of how that particular sound is understood for me. I’m studying my reactions and becoming more aware of what psychedelic vibration means.

Just another story, I’ll be able to share! BIG shout out to Jeremy for helping me experience Shpongle! I have a feeling, I’ll be able to carry out the vision more clearly when I check them out live again.

It’s always cool when multiple colors are able to congregate and minister within an individual yet collective vision.

Psychedelic Vibration is Shpongle.

Hovering

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I’m hovering over you because you’re over me.

Your shadow is a lurking creep and I swear it’s to keep me in the age of ancient time.

Sweet forces of bliss pantomimed.

In my heart and my conscious mind.

Addressing the tribulations of my alienated vocal dimension – I beckon to be heard.

Through a lover like you, with a season of passion and a river of mention.

To be carried under your umbrella of comfort, I plead for the rain to shower.

Just to be felt by your grasp, only a little more, and I’ll be closer into the pondering of your mind.

Comforted by the sweet walls of your thoughts.

These scales of recognition are trailing marks of your interest to me.

Your ideas carved with me in sound.

Breathlessly my own sequence of words is captured in the engaging glare.

Redemption.

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You excite me and make my thoughts – spend into suspension.

All of you.

I can’t deny what I wanna make you feel.

I wanna cause your actions to form into a battle.

Literally paralyzing you into a web of sticky cream.

Then I want to get rid of your syrup by sentencing your lips with the weapon of my passion.

Pouring into you sections – I haven’t shown to anyone.

But my youthful self when I first realized, how bad I wanted a girl like you.

Badly like the oceans – I seek to calm you in the midst of your trauma.

Again I wanna become a slave to your spell.

I want you to look at me so I can surrender my reservations to you.

Giving you my jokes and camaraderie so that your laughter is a temptation of undress.

Confess!

Confess so I can heal you by the meditative forgiveness I must pardon to you.

For the blasphemy of your presence writes onto the walls the need for redemption.

If my passions resurrect a savior to your transgressions – follow me into this bliss.

Heaven is our journey and we are saints as we relinquish into the fire of paradise.

Inspired BY The Muse Of Native Land.

Native Rapture Via X

For when I ascended into the Native Rapture, my mind and frame began to pose a description. Every now and then, she comes again, and the lessons you never forget. You become a Designated Fool as Sananda Maitreya put it.

There she goes speculating on someone
For her private school
There he is her next sugar daddy-o
Her designated fool
She’s a teacher of unbelievable skill
I once loved her and now I paying the bill

Right about now she’s regulating on someone
With her juicy groove
If papa comes quick
She’ll slow ’em down and teach ’em a textbook trick
Some advanced curriculum

She’s a master
At stimulating her class
I once loved her
I graduated too fast

Fool, because with her ALL her knowledge will likely terminate your missionary trip. That can’t be a bad thing, can it?

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From the tropical edge, and by the Native pledge – her colors are the foundation of life.

She comes to capture and with strong memories you’ve already ascended into her rapture.

Beyond the stars and passing around the crescent moon; here she has come not a moment too soon.

She reminds you of your vulnerable scales; like the time you thought dolphins were whales.

She always made you remember; science was the only everlasting December.

Her face was shades of colorful ambition; apertures and contrasts of tuition.

What a price you had to pay; for, with your concentrated stare, you have stepped into the gray.

Your mission has become the predator and the prey. 

To know you – means she must consume you, but only by her native woo.

️Crowned Promises (Divine Next)

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Speak of the patterns, this you hear

The alignment of the sound

This persecution of fear

A stagnant mission without the sword of a satisfying vex 

For your spirit and the unconditional love that is in the beginning, barks at your next

The sharp and divine next

Completely naked are the jewels which are treasures 

Near and far – my compass could not dare to measure

Coming as a plane and beating the damnable dread

My promise to you is a crown upon your head

Adorned therein is of commitment and noble trust

Forsaking all that comes with the danger of cynical lust

Train Membrane

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The heartbeat of your stimulation beats in syncopation with my desire to please you.

You breathe very slowly, as I inhale the detailed whispers of what you anxiously await, to uncover you.

There is a train in the membrane, which climbs to the height of our awaiting passions.

Your hands write onto my back, the secrets of gratitude.

You claw a print onto me gently; yet very passionately. I thrust into you deeply, and your sighs recognize the power, enveloped within my passion.

Your canvas has shown me yellow chakras a liken to sun rays.

Your hair is sizzling and your pulse calmly speaks of eager anticipation.

I am paraded through the fire that belongs in our eyes.

I no longer insist that we keep our cool, as the flames eat us alive.

My love for you uncovered us in the cold.

The heat is sufficient enough!

While you’re pounding heartbeat scribbles your lifeline, my drums signatures my thirst for life!

In many emotions, my mind is like a train, and the membrane is enveloped in my present passions. I remember writing this piece when I gazed at a shy angel at a party. She was too shy to speak in detail with me. I somehow could tell by the sweat of my suspicion there was a narration, that would begin when she shook my hand. All of this is innuendo and none of it truly summarizes the actual. That is what makes a metaphor, a clever designer! What you read is tempted to persuade a sense of sexual heat. Behind the door of sensual and sexual invitation is the knob of broader expressions. Expressions which detail other mannerisms. which dance in my mind. It’s more than the mere mention of taste and intimacy, the train is what institutes a track of arrival. I can’t derail off the tracks when the focus is within a membrane!

Breaking Sugar

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You are like a fallacious cat! With suspense, you lurk around, but I am unable to determine your enveloped complexity.

We mumble and are granted with a possessed pause!

Our eyes have met each other and the sentencing of conviction is held captive.

Through our burning and BREAKING – we’ve established the power which creates a flammable wind.

The smile of our temptation is understood by the science of our physicality.

Your water brooks have kept the springs which give life to the destitute land.

But, I  like Moses will strike my rod upon you and with ease, I shall enter this promised land.

A land which speaks of true fantasy.

True and delicate pieces of passion fruits which cover.

We’ve spoken of timing and this concept of waiting, as it truly prolongs the need to implant this seed.

The bursting of SUGAR describes the garden of energy and the galaxy from which it comes from.

Numerical Distance

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I’m inhaling the score, as it progressively counts backward in my mind!
 
I am ready to write them down, on the table of conscious unwind!

I met you, through a dream, that counted backward to me.

AND when I woke up. I heard your name!

Marry Me! Marry – my justifiable number, and follow my calculations.

Don’t you know I seek to make your voice the story of ancient history?

You only need to beckon my desire and the twin of my passion will give you the key to the alley.

You won’t ever walk alone; my dreams are never distant from your fingers as you wipe your eyes.

I’ll remain like a private affair that an odor has with a  broken past.

We can make this last because as high as you are above me.

I am truly freestanding under you as your glow rests on my frame.

We only now seem to remain as distant as it feels.

our monastic order is abolished as we follow the path of our union! 

This concept of now frustrates the will to wait, and to prolong.

Obviously, measures and calculations are of mathematical dictation, I know

BUT, Do you realize your numbers?

I remember writing this back only a couple of months ago,  I had no idea what it meant. But through conversation with one of my closest friends, we discussed other topics, and this poem made sense. In this particular situation, it made a lot of sense! I think that is one of the most brilliant aspects of writing, you may not know what it is at the time, but through the process of time; understanding is gained. This piece is about committing to someone who beckons at your desire. So in the screams of realization, you promise what and where you would be to this person. You will follow the numbers, no matter the distance! 

Undressed Courtroom

I’ve learned that the witness of my expression, stands on trial. The judge and jury are those who whisper lies, in vain deceit! They speak the very accusation of their nature, they have not spoken the essence of what is opposite of their being. The courtroom begs for silence – as the wild arguments pursue on the tables of contract. Our pains come to intimidate us because in the face of suffering it seems like the only fate.

The law is still given in the hindsight of what is already in our minds. We can clearly speak to the writing that comes to keep us condemned. I’ve closely examined the passion that belongs to personal intimacy. Just, alone in the courtroom – Surrounded by your own fragrance & melody. As you hear these dripping sounds, taste the tip of your tongue. You stand undressed in the courtroom, and no one is embarrassed but the witness of expression.

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I can’t say that I am surprised, at the accusations. However, I’m finally able to say: The judicial consequence is not punitive – rather restorative.

Y-ME/X (#Graph#)

DeathUnderneathThe Firement

When the act becomes pathological – it is then easier to carry out falsehood.

Concern begins to diminish and what was once an act of sorrow and remorse is now happiness and comfort.

There is no longer a lingering of turbulence, in fact, my character is unapologetic.

I once reflected like time indefinite.

I tried to catch the glass tiles; before they fell.

Without a smile, I asked if you can turn on the stereo.

I wanted to play this old song, about love.

At one time, I thought it was OK for us to communicate, but we simply have no identification with each other anymore.

It’s no longer that ‘Awkward’ silences which truly make it uncomfortable, rather the remembrance of our structure.

We simply forgot to water the plants that day and now the weeds have choked up the smallest hint of life which existed.

Allowing my alter-ego to take over only seemed justified when you no longer bore my true nature.

I couldn’t be true ‘REAL’ with you because there were too many questions.

No, we didn’t have to agree on everything, but we should not have to fight around the details of something.

The noise of my mask reiterates the gloom and ugly, you desperately ignored in our broken relationship.

Did I forget to tell you my name? My name is Y-Me – it is a name that carefully defines the function behind our pantomimed motives.

Why me?

Because you never liked being responsible for your actions.

You rather me but instead the motive behind me, crouches at your door! 

You will have to face it, in the final judgment.

But until then, I leave you a graph, I’ll leave it to you, to measure the axis and right angles.

Perhaps, you’ll define the variables in relation to your ‘X’.

I remember writing this almost a year ago, on the cracks of my relationship with X, and it came back to me, because of a similar manifestation I had recently. A lot of these words could be taken as a bit bitter, but I truly believe the graph will be marked. The house is dissolved, and the skeletons are given a new name!