In preparation for further development of my book, I decided to answer several questions from one of my favorite authors Dushka Zapata.
These questions set the tone for 2018 while also inspiring me to invite you to send me questions that you have thought about existence. The goal isn’t to overthink but to answer with what you feel in the heart of the moment.
Here are my favorite 14 questions.
1. “If life had no meaning, what meaning would I create for mine?”
I’d create a meaning that would mean something to me tomorrow. A meaning that has enough nutrition to last for me and those who came after me. If no others came after me then the meaning would have to be enough to satisfy me even when I’m bored. Something to make me laugh and cry because it’s all so beautifully complex.
2. “If there was no purpose to our existence, what purpose would I give to mine to shield myself from existential despair?”
I would make it a mission to make someone think about their life and what they can do with it. I would want them to laugh at how ironic this whole game of life is. I would want to show myself and people around me how life is so short and how we should chase what gives us that rush.
3. “What matters to me? Why? And once I figure this out, can I determine an order of importance?”
Freedom matters most to me. To be at full liberty without the worry that I must stop at the disadvantage of someone’s inability to respect my equilibrium. If I could get out of someone’s way to their freedom. Establishing importance would mean to know it’s not just about me.
4. “Is there a healthy, logical correlation between my priorities and how I spend my time? If not, why?”
I give myself too much time for tasks I feel can wait. I must embed a pattern of usual, so I don’t buy into the distractions because god knows I have binged on many distractions. I think I have bought so much time because I see time as an illusion and I feel I always have time, but I’ve come to realize I don’t always have time. It’s always leaving me when I gain it.
5. “What am I afraid of? Can I learn to distinguish the fear that protects me from the fear that stops me?”
“They say everybody is afraid of something although I don’t know what actually makes me afraid now. I am drawn to the unknown and I believe fear makes us strong at times. I suppose my fear is to be consistent in the most western way of doing it. (I must always pay my bills and have enough left over) Constantly making enough that is sufficient and inspiring enough to last. The best way for me to distinguish it is to fail occasionally and not feel guilty about it.”
6.”What happens when I get what I want? Is it glorious, empty, triumphant, anticlimactic? Why?”
I usually feel content with it. Sometimes when I want something so very badly and get it – I don’t feel like it was worth the wanting. I would like to capture the gloriousness more because there’s substance in playing in that feeling. I think it becomes anticlimactic because I knew I could get it – I just didn’t think I would survive the trip to get there.
7. “What does happiness mean to me? What makes me happy and how can I capture that elusive sensation more often?”
Happiness means more laughter and learning found in simple and complex things. I think if I read more, the joy of happiness will show up more.
8. “What hurts me? How can I become stronger against what causes me to suffer? How and where can I learn to suffer less? How can I remind myself that the person who makes me suffer the most is me?”
I hurt myself when I don’t own up to my decisions and how they influence others. I should remember that I am in the driver’s seat and that my reactions can be calmer. To be mindful of silence and that words don’t always have to be spoken.
9. “What is left of me if I attempt to define myself without leaning on anything I do? I am a student, I am a writer, I am a mom, I am a manager, I am a Vice President – these are all things I do. Who am I? Where is she?”
This is a very complex one. I am here and while I am here, I want to make as much hell and fun on this trip. I observe, sleep, learn and then convert this knowledge into love for everyone around me.
10. “How can I avoid losing myself in my relationships? What are my boundaries and how do I enforce them?”
One way is to have a clear understanding that we do not belong to each other but that we are only appreciating and honoring each other’s company. That we live with the knowledge that we can together but sometimes we may steer to our own strengths by ourselves. I can enforce my boundaries by staying true to myself without shame or pressure.
11. “What do my feelings teach me about myself? If I feel anger or jealousy, can I learn not to react to these feelings but instead determine what they are trying to tell me?”
They are trying to tell me to maybe rearrange what I do not understand. To Ask more questions and to speak softly and to apologize when I’ve assumed too much. I can learn by simply remembering people are often in the same state as me. They just want clarity.
12. “What happens when I sit in silence?”
I find that the stillness in myself is still yearning to speak to myself in riddles of nothing but me, myself, and I.
13. “How can I better manage change? How can I get better at accepting how little control I have?”
Knowing that I did not choose to be born here at the time I was. Some parts are played long before I got here.
14. “How would I like to be remembered?”
“Remembered for good company with a fresh willingness to open a door that people didn’t really think about turning, making them laugh while thinking.”
If you got through all of my answers to these magnificent questions, I applaud your interest endearingly! I encourage you to answer some of these questions as well! I wanted to start 2018 with these questions because they would open up my understanding of myself and where I want to go.
I am making it a mission to write way more while reading, listening, and observing.
We can do this thing together – narrating and asking. This will help us climb the ladder for clarity among all living things!
((*Every 7th of the month from now until March – I’ll post 3 of my favorite questions (& 7 replies) that I find correlates with the book I’m working on! If you have any questions that you have asked at any time // feel free to email me at jesterj7@hotmail.com
writing until the pen runs N2 paradise clarity! (by uniform & random means) 