Tag Archives: Personal

“I am” : u.r.i.s.o.p.c (statement piece)

*this was a poetic piece I created for IGF (Irreducible Grace Foundation) in collaboration with Ms. Jane and Dr. D : they both helped me to reach into that place within me – to convey sincerity and honesty through the power of breathing amidst the search of discovering who I am… this is the poetic piece I wrote out describing who I am. it has typically been difficult for me to name specifics of who I am but now, I am more assured in the discovery of ‘what’s in a name’ that I have no reason to be ashamed. blessings y’all! ❤ *

i am : Arican. who like most of us, were raised on colonized and stolen lands. (If not in location, in mind bands )

Shoutout to the AAPRP!

i come from : radical and religious sentiments! an environment which reinforced to me that my questions : were far too deep! that my interrogations of life’s contradictions were far too steep! The church, the Bible, and the Holy Ghost was our daily bread and butter, because if not in the name of Jesus – every other voice? could stutter!

Weigh The Minute! Typo Or Faith?

when you look at me : you see – brown skin, large buttons, and thick locks of hair – they’re not dreadlocks, that would imply they’re dreadful and they’re not. you will also see, your own confirmation biases, but ULTIMATELY what you see are scattered remnants of survival.

When I look in the mirror : I see a man attempting to advance a better world through struggle and the sharing of joy through creation and revolutionary politics. I see a window at odds with dialectical history // worlds interlocked unfolding, the deeper and reachable mystery.

Uniformy & RaNdOmLy : in Search of Paradise Clarity!

What you don’t see is : a man seeking to heal trauma that has flustered me. My ‘First & longest relationship was with someone who used the language of love but never matched practice with theory. I was 18, freshly graduated from high school : ready to move to another country to escape the command & rule.

I get stressed out : when I neglect to see what has been proven to be within me. when in stress, my will is often a mess out at every express, I soon begin to digress. All of these things and more can be the case, which is why instead i take a pause ______ and breathe, to make space.

I take care of myself by: breathing within and remembering the various tools i have for access. Just as sewing and writing pens are tools of connection : so is breathing. i like to breathe using the 4 for 4 method.

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Take 4 seconds to INHALE (through your nose)
HOLD your inhale at the top for 4 seconds
Take 4 seconds to EXHALE (through your mouth)

*4 counts in between each breathe !*

when you take deep breath it activates the vagus nerve – sending a message to yo brain that you are calm..

we win when we breathe from within. There is no end, only the will to perpetually transcend! whether your at 0 or 10 – i recommend, you find that space and begin.

::: “i say this to you, so that you know that : ACCESS is from within, when placed in an uneasy or stressful situation, remember that you have the tools and can get to that place of healing and rest.”

i often use this tool when i am stressed about something i can’t easily each or obtain. this technique is often used in combat – to calm the fighter before and after a situation. May you find it useful in any stressful situation!

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THE GESTURE OF THE EMBLEMATIC

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the gesture of the emblematic – pleads a conversation that is varied and considerably multilateral! we also know this by another name : tokenism! it’s dressed up in flashy and vibrant attire. so many aluminum sheets arraying tastes and flavors that are on fire! who is willing to try all of the offerings on the platter? likely one is willing to pass on the lonesome celery in preference for the berries and cheeses!

empty platitudes are indeed vacant of destination or appeal (not to the mainstream propagandist media). to the mouths that spout such occasion, their life karma seems cursed by the immediate and often told joke, one is forced to laugh yet again. it’s an usual and common trick played by the puppet and their masters. *JUST REPEAT THE SENTIMENT AND STRESS WHAT IS KNOWN WHILE AVOIDING SOLUTION BASED ANALYSIS*

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of course if you don’t have a solution – it’s just regurgitation of paralyzing reality. reality THAT is absolutely crass – the kind which makes you immobile *literally*. it’s not that people don’t want to get out – they simply are in a structured funk. one that doesn’t click on 2 & 4 or lock and key. strings are wired – most of them fired off into the abyss. the vomit of such consequence is reported among many. it’s invitation is shared freely. this rage is fundamentally understood. the juice of misfortune has spilled onto our clothes. “the cup that flows will never leak.”

the ANSWER *AND CALL* – to the very real systemic inequalities is the duty of the conscious. when you know, you KNOW! we must face – the many specific ways these lines intersect. the assault of this VIOLENCE is forewarned – it is the history of any imperialist and capitalist nation. is it really so devastating that we receive abhorrent demonstration of frustration? the record has proven we must move forward – in turning the page to the REVOLUTION.

the gift of the emblematic is that it gives us relief. it shows us how something that’s already very shambolic, can still find some sense of harmony and convergence.

things are changing all the time! we should always remember that. the lights are brighter and the burden is no less on the backs of those who’ve been fighting. humans and our relationship to the earth are demanded a change of consciousness. 

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&UMMM
jamilah is da b e s t

THE EVISCERATION OF BUY – DOOM!

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the record has demonstrated to us – that the corporate class will always be favored over the working class. they matter more because they play a significant role in the exchange of profits. i’ve known some incredibly hard-working people in my life. i’m willing to bet you know these same hard working people. modern and popular culture give extreme acclaims and trophies out to anybody who is seen as a hard worker.

it’s often repeated:” DON’T WORK HARD – WORK SMART.”

on the surface: this statement seems to make reasonable sense. if you find out a way to complete a task in a quick and efficient way – it makes the work less stressful. anyone can appreciate a good tip – the unexpected kind that really changes your life. like a recipe to an easy meal which always shows up on time, when the seasonings are ever so faithful to the script. to such a delight is this! we often consider these tips ‘life hacks’ because we’re pulling the strings towards a shortcut to the access point.

however, it becomes clear over time, that a lot work doesn’t promise a defensible hack. many of the programs we’re involved in – specifically leaves us out of the notion.

haven’t read the instruction manual – yet you have the hard headed ambition to attempt a massive construction? you can expect unsatisfactory outcomes!

there’s something brilliant about ambition and tenacity. when you really want something – you can work *very hard too* and still be left out of any of the shares.

hmm! why is this?

there’s a lot of gray matter in life but there’s also a lot of weasel jargon intended to keep you unaware of the function. the many ways we’ve been lied to by others and ourselves is enough to make you SHOUT!

it should be enough to pressure a closer examination into the intentions of others and ourselves. some of us stand at risk to crafty manipulation engineered by a sugary coat of confirmation bias. we like what we want to hear and not always what will yield better outcomes.

this shouldn’t alienate us into despair, however. you can very well like what you like and also know what to do with that affection. we will always meet someone who knows more than us // has experienced more in a particular field // and may be in a better position to answer similar concerns.

*pandemic, pandemic!* but while you are freaking out – notice how everyone wants you to BUY everything! why? cuz they want you to believe you’re doomed. fear is sold and packaged daily by media news outlets because it incentives engagement. this is the kind of engagement that only uses RED LETTERING AND CAPITAL CONCERN. YOU SHOULD WORRY AND ACCEPT IT’S INSANE RIGHT NOW!

when someone says it’s going to get worst before it gets better – what they really mean is to brace for impact. however, you can do something to buffer the cut. once aware – you can’t unsee the impending transition of passing reality. we must act now but to what end – will this act, react to the invisible things? viruses after all are unseen and the cases vary but in a case like the coronavirus (CO-VOID19) is very new and vapidly spreading.

some are more at risk than others but what we do know is the gradual acceleration into tactic propaganda, is at war with factual and reasonable solutions we have at our fingertips. (and hands – wash them please!) we’re all in this together, thus we’re responsible to one another. there’s an essential reframing of the responses we can adhere to.

if anything this does show us how the focus has shifted blame from actual and structural causes such as (industrialized farming and livestock production) to delayed emergency planning.

there’s coming a day and it is this very day and time,
where the TRUMPet blow circus tunes. *the price is right!* according to the insurance companies who prefer to negotiate the price in a expensive rapacious like way. these corporations have purchased the favor from democrats and republicans. the two party system grants illusion of choice. etc etc.

it would be a sight to witness the eviscerating consequence of lessons unlearned. as it turns out – if you don’t apply reason to where you lacked it, the result remains inert. if one was to claim to have truly learned something – a pop quiz of responsibility seems to always find its way to the corridor of their life experience. it’s not about IF it comes but when it does in fact come – how will you deal with it THIS time?

“Whose going to go to the prison or the courthouse after the replication has been made? – after the mirror has been polished from dusty to jade. over and over, the lines are not fully played!”

Miraculous!

Breaking free from this dimension is being visited by statues in our dreams.

Statues carved with red lettering, something that stands out and begs for recognition.

It’s becoming abundantly clear we are engaged in this spirit realm by our opening hearts.

It’s really just about allowing ourselves to see how everything is connected.

Nothing is separated. Realizing our universal link enables us to become more and more fearless.

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The lettering captivates with such righteous thrill. Seeing all of these connections, and breathing the ways in which they link, fascinates the playful mind. I find myself constantly searching for the depth of a language to build a better understanding. I am beginning to see things as they are. And it’s fun because there is so much curiosity in the way things work.

I’ve been immersed in the miracle of how things are joined. Just simply seeing, how the universe is seen by specific mathematical coding. WHILE ALSO, along working with it, is the random and chaotic aspect. SO here we have two opposites of each other, working together and somehow creating a fluent language. It’s a war, and the conditions are extreme – but are never to the detriment. The relationship is a paradoxical one, due to the nature of its dichotomy. Look at it as a story or film, with a pivoting twist. A rushing Thriller! The contradiction at the beginning ends up affirming the stress.

It’s a lot going on right now! That’s what I’m just coming to terms with. I’m enjoying it, though! Especially since very important lessons are showing up and they are motivating me to take action. I have all of these doors openings, and I am just moving along with it. While in the process, it feels like this writing method here and making videos are ways of me sharing my lessons learned.

I swear I’m just sharing lessons from the classroom of life. There is no cheating involved, we all got the same answers just different questions. The homework ain’t so bad either. I always manage to do homework intentionally or unintentionally. 😀

Cycles Understood Within

Cycles are uninformed occurrences bound within a pattern. Think about the Moon and how much its cycles actually affect, the motions of the sea.

There are particular algorithms and repetitions that takes place. Often without announcement or guidance – we end up in the same place we were before. At HIGHER frequencies, we can tune into something that passed us before, only now our perspective is further developed than before.

I’m starting to understand the cycles within and around me and how they relate to actual demonstration. There seems to be a pull that is a rapture to my movement.

To achieve, to manifest, and to actually exercise means I must accept the fleeting yet all too powerful MOMENT. Seizing the great lecture, that comes with opportunity. Doors are mysterious because they each allow access to a different domain. What happens when you got several doors and you can only pick one?

Every door that closes, another one opens…strange, but true – let’s see what U can do?

– Prince

I can go to the other door. I’m not out of luck, the odds are always in my favor. Whichever I decision I make, will change the course of my journey entirely, and that’s ultimately OK.

Whichever I decision I make, will change the course of my journey entirely, and that’s ultimately OK.

Some may call me an over analyzed optimist. I see the good, even if it’s at the end. Even in extreme situations. I tend to always look at an eternal perspective, which is always redeemed in good. “It’s ALL Good Tho!” IT IS WHAT IT IS”

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^^ You know what I’m thinking? That even though my situation is frustrating, even though I feel helpless and I’m drowning in a sense of loneliness, It’s ALL Good.

It is good, and its relation to me, rests on my abilities to receive it. Surrendering my fears in exchange for the allowance. Allowing my vulnerabilities to be exposed, means answering why I did it in the first place.

All The Goodwill ultimately return to me, so put in WORK and See the change. Become what you want to manifest. The more I put in action, and invest in brighter days, they are due to come at sudden moments.

Cycles understood within and around me are understood deeper when I put in the work necessary to achieve manifestation. Seeds are sown.

Psychedelic Vibration (A Spontaneous Night With Shpongle)

 

Lately, my experiences have been spontaneously laced with a riddle. Last night was exactly that. (3/27/15)
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I’m not entirely familiar with Shpongle but by the recommendation out of a conversation with my homie Jeremy. He makes music himself, which has several different styles incorporated.

 

Check him out on: http://jeremygarnermusic.bandcamp.com/

The both of us, have collaborated in times passed, and we have recently paired up in the near future (AFLW). I value his taste and interest, as we connect on a similar level, as it concerns sound and the ways in which vibration is understood.

So, when he mentioned to me, that Shpongle was actually performing in MPLS – I found the opportunity worth seizing. I wasn’t exactly doing anything and I know what experience he had when he witnessed him. Granted, his experience was not just music, it was more of a trip. We both ended up experiencing the similar effects.

Several different tides occurred which made the concert even more eventful. For starters, Jeremy wrote a book out of inspiration from listening to their music which he mailed off to me months ago. We were hoping maybe, I could pass it onto Shpongle himself. On my way out, I ended up carrying the book in my backpack. Although, I was told there was a strict NO BACKPACK Policy. SO I had to unwillingly place the backpack underneath a car, as I was not wanting to go back on the train to bring it back.

To my surprise, I arrived extremely early (About 9:20) because Shpongle was not set to perform until midnight. Overwhelmed by the anxiety of my bag being underneath a car, and the sweat and energy of drunk people besides me. I decided to leave, to only return back closer to his set. That also meant, getting something to eat! Which was a win, as I was extremely hungry!

I ate and made my way back on the train back to the event. (No backpack with me, as I managed to put the book in my coat) As soon, as I arrived back to the venue, there was an overwhelming amount of people all seemingly within a trace, responding to the master Shpongle. The music was different from anything I had ever experienced. Usually, I would be against going to an event like this, because it’s Electronica for the most part. A music genre I am extremely critical of in the POP sense. (Maybe if it wasn’t so dominating, and if there was a mix of it on the radio) But Shpongle manages to translate his sound in a unique vibration.

 

Firstly, everyone, there was all invested. Some of them with lights on their hands dressed with individual gadgets of lights. SO many different kinds of people and it seemed that all of them came with a purpose. All of them responding to the music in their own way.

On top of that, they were intoxicated, and many of them were smoking. Yet the energy was somehow plural and singular. Plural in that, all of them were consciously speaking the same language. BUT singular in that, all of them spoke the way they understood it.

The bass and sounds were entering into me with a baptizing effect. Like I was drinking in all of the sounds. At one point I had to move to an isolated part of the room because some people were banging their heads on me.HA!

 

Once, I managed to find an area, I closed my eyes and noticed the unpredictability of the music. There were very few loops, as I was always surprised when the next stab came along. For about an hour and 20 mins, Shpongle became an instrument. It was a very detailed experience filled with visuals and trance. I think, if I was alone experiencing it, it would be a very abstract experience even more so. With all the people there with me, made it a very collective journey. AND once again, all equipped with different clothing.

I was mesmerized by the vibration, and really glad I managed to make it, even as I felt very alone. Alone, in the sense that I was limited in my expression of the vibration because I was trying to understand it. I tried to find Shpongle after the show, but security was heavy so I was not able to give him the book, but ALL things in perfect timing!

On my way home, the whole thing took a greater turn for confusion. So many people were drunk – cause it’s the weekend, and people want to have fun with the spirits. While waiting for the train, it arrived about 30 minutes after the show. (So about 2:46AM) I did something I never thought I was capable of doing. FELL ASLEEP ON THE TRAIN.

Granted I was tired, but I did not expect to respond to my sleep by actually falling asleep! I woke up at the airport terminal, and I had to wait about 3 and 1/2 hours before the train came. What made it more an eerie experience was that one of the guys there tried to attack me. He failed. Yet, he succeeds in that he got 8 dollars after I threw it at him. It amazes me how spirits engage the personality. I really started to feel for him as I noticed his pleas.

I was not harmed, if anything it woke me up. There was ultimately no threat, only an invitation to what’s around me.

I really enjoyed the experience overall, as now I have a better understanding of how that particular sound is understood for me. I’m studying my reactions and becoming more aware of what psychedelic vibration means.

Just another story, I’ll be able to share! BIG shout out to Jeremy for helping me experience Shpongle! I have a feeling, I’ll be able to carry out the vision more clearly when I check them out live again.

It’s always cool when multiple colors are able to congregate and minister within an individual yet collective vision.

Psychedelic Vibration is Shpongle.

Hovering

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I’m hovering over you because you’re over me.

Your shadow is a lurking creep and I swear it’s to keep me in the age of ancient time.

Sweet forces of bliss pantomimed.

In my heart and my conscious mind.

Addressing the tribulations of my alienated vocal dimension – I beckon to be heard.

Through a lover like you, with a season of passion and a river of mention.

To be carried under your umbrella of comfort, I plead for the rain to shower.

Just to be felt by your grasp, only a little more, and I’ll be closer into the pondering of your mind.

Comforted by the sweet walls of your thoughts.

These scales of recognition are trailing marks of your interest to me.

Your ideas carved with me in sound.

Breathlessly my own sequence of words is captured in the engaging glare.

Unending Math

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Salvador Dali

Like a fire is known by the passion of yesterday – our galaxy is made of mysterious makeup and powerful energy!

Magnificent feelings which take us to the sky and then to the unending line which goes on forever.

If you could understand the angles on which I am met – you would see why this corner is so hard to be in.

Hard like Arabian Math – with a great thrust to intersect.

I’m giving you a lampshade crown as I am weeping on your knee.

Weeping because all I see is the lamentation of a world without you.

I am happy to know you’re here in my route.

So take those pregnant pauses and when you are ready to deliver.

I’ll be there to carefully caress your body language!

You swallow whole the engulfing mystery of the night.

Rivers and streams within you.

I just want to play by the awakening of your waters.

You keep my eyes focused, but my heart yearning for more!