seeking…(Like A Lake)

the things i wished to do, i no longer care for
the places i wanted to travel, i can’t see as reasonable any more
is it because the covid numbers are spiking up?
or the doors which refuse me by slamming shut?

i wanna cry but don’t know why
i’m blanked in space
trying to rectify my face
i’m feeling numb, sad, and displaced
feeling alone in a ‘home’ that does not belong to me
wishing to paint with lens carefully and responsibly

while, cutting off those thrills which made it easy on my heart
i rather now be torn apart
by the very thing that’s eating me inside
it’s unnamed, unable to be framed, and thrives by the constant rain
that is to say : my crying tears are attempting to unmask my fears

although: stuck in a rut of staggering associations
befuddled by contradictory operations
seeking for a friend, but instead suddenly briefed by an online stranger that this too will soon end

without a sight to see what’s really wrong
or a voice to sing in harmonic song
having the very least, while the beast inside still demands a feast!
consuming everything at the dinner table
so that the unbelievable can be told as a fable

“did you see them eating all that cake? filling their stomach like algae would a lake! they probably wouldn’t feel that way – if they were the ones who had to make, all of which would soon be left to take!”

but: it’s a lot different when you’re behind an emotional wheel seeking to safely heal
& when the transportation to feel is left to squeal

if grief had a thief, would it take like a lake? or would it restore in its proper place : salty to fresh waters which trace back to grace?

W.T.G.2.D.W.M?!

*this conversation may or may not have ever taken PLACE. the fact that it happened – makes the opinion often trade its FACE. for a reactive MOUTH or a revolution which can’t go SOUTH. even tho, here is not over there, what follows beyond THIS or THAT – : is a hello or goodbye, in need of vacuuming underneath the mat!

but, what that got to do with me! said the one who was already filled, width measures beyond what they could SEE! everything and nothing replied BACK, the concerned one after just complaining about their missing needles in a STACK. “i’m carrying all these stones, pillars, and WEIGHT – at the very least: you could offer to unload my package and take me out on a DATE. instead you choose : to WAIT, and now i fear, you’ve settled on doing nothing, as your FATE. can’t you see i’m HURT – i ain’t get this far to be played like dirt and a FIDDLE, i suppose all along you wanted me to solve your RIDDLE. how silly was i? silly enough to not hire a private SPY – to PEEK at just how many faucets you allow to LEAK. if i were you – i’d realize that maroon EMPATHY is a grace afforded to those with SYMPATHY. you don’t even bother to CARE – you’re sitting in the lazy CHAIR. or should i say : lazy BOY – all you do is polish your TOYS. it’s fudged up! but that’s the usual coming from somebody like YOU……………..

hello!

did i get THROUGH?

yes you did but if you were any more LOUD, you’d excite thunder from my CLOUD! I stand barely AWARE of what it’s like wrestling with a BEAR! you ask me – could I CARE? well, my concern has never been so much of the MATTER – my lassitude is only getting FATTER. why, you PRESUME? cuz – I gotta ZOOM! ZOOM! ZOOM! in your ROOM! ROOM! ROOM! (it’s like BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) all the freaking TIME! if only you could spare your 20 nickels for 10 DIMES! you crack a lame joke but still be asking me to LAUGH – demoting me here where you’ve sacrificed me as a golden CALF! YOU COULD HAVE JUST, SPLIT it IN HALF! a base and STRING, even when the phone does not always RING. i am expected to call and to talk but what more can I say? I have been beaten & preyed, across your desert SEA – BUT, WHAT THAT GOT TO DO WITH me!

081420 WTG2DWM — BuT WhAt tHaT gOt 2 dO wItH mE?!

you SEIZE (C) – THIS very thing —-> THAT is belonging to ALL belongs to NO 1. it’s like when, wind shows up right behind each other in a sentence, only the ‘D’ is silent in the latter. “when” shares a close fellowship with “ever” but this spoils “anything” from ever arriving on the scene, if there is no clear distinction of timing. the difference in yours and mine, is perception of that said thing. it’s very much yours and mines – it’s ours! however, hours and seconds couldn’t be further from each other but still, they’re united both one and the same! we are connected to the grand zer0, all of the substantive numbers are now made a hero! just because the invisible n0thing stands on their side! ain’t that enough to make your mind open WIDE?! Thus, there is company in ALL AND NONE ! WE : THOUGH AT ODDS IN THE RAGING SEA can’t help but ask EVENTUALLY : BUT WHAT THAT GOT 2 DO WITH me!