MY OWN ENVELOPE PARTY

i’m welcomed to my own own envelope party!
yeah! yeah! yeah!
writing letters at the seams
multiple colored dreams
fantasies and a spelled out intention
reading it all out, so that all could be mentioned

tearing open the paper for a surprise
the secret in here to advise ::: the reconciliation is closed
i supposed it was because the bridge could not be crossed
apparel sequencing nonetheless flossed
the steps removed and tossed
anchoring exploitation is the name
‘bossed’ by recurring screens
littered in the eyes of incapable means

when wishing to dethrone the idea of home, my expectations sprint like the legends of rome.
emblematic of an extravagant moonlight affair, my apparel crafted a tailored flair.
dismissing the evidentiary notion. seeking rivers or oceans instead.
as the bed doesn’t lie. the mind can cry opposed to the big picture but verified by in nuance.

seeing what’s caught in between.
but begging for the green to be worn like jeans.
understood are the roles played. they can’t all relay because their actions play a part.
contradictory elements within the genes . bullying the pressure to let go and release the SCREAM.
all over and on and on.
composed in note and pattern
without the visitation of exact correlation or by the planet Saturn!

(this poem / song came to me in a dREaM. i was at my old church, and there were multiple envelops thrown into the air while this song was being sang by the congregation. the dREaM ended by me being toppled over by a woman who sat on me after the last note was harmonized. very colorful indeed but i don’t know what it could mean?) 😂😅🤣

WTM! TOF?

“Those that have an Ear, let them Hear!”

i find it curious, that when folks check in on you, they continue with wonder: “how have you been? what have you been up too? long time no talk too, what’s been happening?” however, those same people can’t / wouldn’t / haven’t – taken anytime to press play to engage in your latest creation.

🤔🧐🤨

if you want the message to relay; indeed all you need to do is press play and LISTEN! (i would really appreciate your feedback / criticisms especially if you make it through the whole thing!

this project was originally released 2 years ago as a written text, featuring 10 chapters with a lot of colorful poetry and allegory. i’ve done the difficult arrangement of writing, editing, and recording it all. There’s no ‘physical’ copy of this book yet because i really want folks to listen as opposed to flipping through the pages and missing something.

Typos notwithstanding, there’s a message! May you get through! Whether through the Angel (😇) or Angle (📐)

Blessings and thank you for everyone that has taken the time! This was done at no cost to you, but if you wish to give a love token and donation :

Cashapp : $gesturegreen

paypal: paradiseclarity@gmail.com

Zelle: jesterants@gmail.com

P S Y C H O enCYCLopEdia

i am reading you for what you are –

a psycho encyclopedia.

cycles and derivatives of:

nuts.

madness.

insanity.

craze.

and

haze!

i’ve SEEN right before my eyes, the recurring loony buffoonery; presented in the finest, most eloquent dress.

BUT, the mirror is steadily asking you: when will you allow light to bounce off of its face?

it is all about – YOU!

who?!

YOU!

you share twin ambition, with the narcissist – just another cognate of your existence.

what only seems to matter – is how anyone can service YOU, and YOUR needs.

who gives a damn about what WE all need, right?

how often you forget, that the cards are not sheltering a masquerade?

you have set the dial.

you have called the shame.

anything you demand – it’s all yours for the taking.

just PLEASE make sure – you’re KEENLY aware of the work, that needs to be figured out, before you clock in!

you are more than welcomed to:

try.

test.

provoke.

and, foment me!

you can even rearrange the statements i make, to suit your gaslighting agenda.

memories like this aren’t forgotten.

i write a spreadsheet everyday.

but ANYWAY, shall I continue to prolong your ears, with a constitution of facts, and emotional appeal?

you stopped listening the moment I said narcissist.

so, here’s the juice and ladle:

we shall continually carry on, in FULL knowledge of what the enCLYLopEdia suggests…

you are still more than welcomed to flash your face in between the bushes if you’d like.

but as sure as my eyes can read, and my mind can process – know that we do SEE YOU, and this time around?

well, we ain’t counting.

we’ve already turned the page.

The Banana Conundrum

i got a real problem! one which involves the physical appeal. so many stages of existence – how does one go about consuming it? it’s radioactively yellow. it’s brown. its green. its purple. it’s black. it comes hard but softens in time. as for the potassium? it sits right near 8% daily recommendation!

I t ‘ s – b a n a n a s !

b🍌a🍌n🍌a🍌n🍌s🍌- this fruit can be starchy or sweet. fried (plantins) or baked into bread. the taste of such squish has been a weird conundrum for me lately. bananas do not grow isolated and alone – they are quite the united gang.

imagine a scenario where you buy a group of 8 bananas that are already nearly ripe. suppose you wished to eat one banana a day. well you should really start thinking about eating them all soon. (with not much time to waste) because that’s 8 days of bananas. on Friday you chop one banana into your morning oatmeal and 2 others into a evening smoothie. you now have 5 bananas left over, by Saturday you don’t want any bananas so you don’t eat any. The day goes by and the brown becomes visibly more apparent. Now Sunday is here but you don’t get a chance to eat breakfast because you had to run an errand and was in the mood for Mexican food. 3 days has passed and you suddenly notice: dem suckers are really violet brown! eww. who wants them now? certainly not me!

its a fruit that is often subjected to comedic conjecture due to its phallic nature. it also can act like a phone…i wonder what it’s saying now?

when you really breakdown the delirium of bananas – it makes sense as to why they’re so popular. Bananas are curved because they grow towards the sun (it’s called negative geotropism).

it’s unusually appealing – you have to peal it in order to access the fruit. the banana is more of a BERRY than a strawBERRY cuz the seeds are inside whereas strawberries are not. bananas are ridiculous for many reasons you may or not have agreed as before mentioned. but how do we deal with the presentation of ill willed friction? people be slipping on what they thought, based on unchecked biases. the confrontation of the breakdown can come as a serious blow. we know how it feels to read but when was the last time someone READ you!?

when someone picked up on the implications that were potentially given. one is led to believe based off the nuances found. it’s crazy that bananas are mostly eaten at breakfast time – but the conundrum can be solved anytime of the day.

bananas are really ridiculous! this much has been established SINCE PEOPLE BEEN SLIPPING ON THEM IN CARTOONS. the parallel i’m aiming to make seems obvious but if you’re still wondering what the conundrum is …

bananas are like autumn – turning from green to brown! but damn, already?

MIGHT // ABLE

The following script is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…’ which is due to release at the beginning of 2019.

Maybean: Hey Fo’sho!!! I was thinking about bringing to light an idea that has been stalking me in the back of my mind.

Fo’sho: Really Maybean? Why don’t you bring it into light, that way you can see if it’s a good idea or not?

Maybean: Perhaps I will. It would be nice to see what was done in the dark manifested in the light.

Fo’sho: Let’s do it. I’ll get started on the preparation.

Maybean: Well, I’m not ready yet, I’m still working on the basic idea.

Fo’sho: Let me know when you are ready, I can help you with the basic layout. If you don’t mind.

Maybean: That would be cool. I’ll try to remember when I get all the ideas in a clear format.

Fo’sho: You sound hesitant against my help.

Maybean: Well perhaps, I’m just not totally clear about what I want to do, yet.

Fo’sho: I’m capable of following out the plan for you?

Maybean: But the plan is still haunting me. It’s like that word that is on the tip of your tongue, that you can’t fully pronounce. Like seeing the picture in your head but being unable to illustrate all the fine details.

Fo’sho: You rarely if ever get the details fully flushed out. I can help with that if you are willing to receive my help. I need more than your willingness. I want you to sign my name so that I can show up on time.

Maybean: However, I am not totally sure if this idea is as fluid as you see it. If I work this idea with you, it won’t just be my idea but ours. You might add to it somethings I don’t want to be in it.

Fo’sho: How would you even know, if you haven’t even got the basic idea out?

Maybean: I suppose you are right.

Fo’sho: I volunteered to help you bring it out of the midnight corners of your mind. Whatever is out there in the dark may be bulky and less specific– you may be unable to do it on your own. We can collaborate on this together, if you want.

Maybean: I suppose, I don’t know? The way I measured the idea in my mind was just a scent and shade of something that had the potential to be bigger. It is not capable of letting me go. (*I don’t believe the idea will be given to someone else*.) I don’t have to say it over and over for me to remember it. It only takes once, and I’ll go back to it until when I can fully build on it. Perhaps, you can help me bring it out, a little later? Once I pull it beyond the shadows?

Fo’sho: Understood. By the way,

remember that script I told you, I was working on?

Maybean: I think I know which one you’re talking about.

Fo’sho: Well whether you think you know or have simply forgotten, that script is already done. I’m waiting for it to be edited so I can submit it to my publisher.

Maybean: The reason why I say, I THINK is because you never clarified which script you were talking about. You had several scripts you were working on. I wasn’t sure.

Fo’sho: My bad, I’m talking about the script about the drug planted by the government and addictive prostitutes entwined to it.

Maybean: I don’t recall that script? It matters none! Cheers! I’m glad you finished it.

Fo’sho: Yep, I been working on it for months, but I remained disciplined and I finished it before the due date.

Maybean: That’s remarkable!

Fo’sho: Have you ever thought about abiding by a specific guideline to help you bring out your ideas to light? It could help with your productivity. It helped with mine!

Maybean: Nah, I haven’t thought much about that.

Fo’sho: Well wouldn’t you want to try it now that you see it may work for your benefit?

Maybean: I May do that. I mean, you don’t see me suggesting to you my method of flushing out ideas not because you can’t do it but because it never occurred to me that you might find it interesting.

Fo’sho: My method seems more productive, but then again, I haven’t tried yours.

Maybean: And neither have I tried yours.

Fo’sho: I guess we both got work to do. Or we can continue blind? I suppose it doesn’t make much of a difference, if we arrive to the same lines of action.

Maybean: Our lines may be similar – they don’t got to be the same – you do your thing and I’ll do mine!

The P.O.E.

When was the last time you whipped out The P.O.E before settling on a decision?

The process of elimination can be one of the best games to play in your mind. The options made available when one thinks about it, can be extremely overwhelming. Therefore, you save time when you whip out the P.O.E!

Any range of ideas that may or may not be dressed for the occasion await your selection. Think about how often you eliminate many options in the benefit of alternatives, which service your convenience?

White Rice or Brown? Black or Gray? Now or Later?

At any given time you have a wide array of colors and selections to choose from. Shall you stick to what you always do or will you wing it with the hope, it’ll come together? If you don’t want to lose something – it’s better if you’re consistent but even that is a lost of something new.

Just like a car doesn’t know that it’s in a garage, the mind doesn’t realize the many ways it’s distracted in thought. This is why we must eliminate what no longer serves us. However this elimination is a process.

How long of a process? Well that depends on how fast you want it. Faster? It comes with a lost. Slower? It may never turn the corner because the key has yet to be found. (ya forgot where you put your keys!)

The mind keeps running and finding what’s cool and what isn’t. Give yourself space for what you want while also time to understand what you don’t need. You’ll never know until you start the process!

A proper P.O.E experience can make one re-examine just how many higher places are in reach. You don’t ever have to settle. They’re always many levels with various layers.

Eliminating options does not have to mean canceling / substituting one for another but walking down the road, that’s most illuminating. Which is pretty damn cool. The Process of Illumination!

LINK // ERROR

The following script is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…’ which is due to release at the beginning of 2019.

Inward: Yo, Zoomy!

Zoomy: Yes – Inward?

Inward: Did you get that link I sent you about the changes about to happen on the Internet?

Zoomy: I didn’t notice you sent me anything, when and where did you send it to me?

Inward: About a week ago – I sent it through flatbird.

Zoomy: Nah, I deleted flat bird on my phone – I prefer shookie instead! What was the link about?

Inward: It was a long article, but it really broke down the immediate changes that the Internet will face. The surveillance will expand. “They” will have more access to what you like and monitor what you don’t click. It’s very serious stuff and the article explained how we can’t do much about it. It’s a fascinating read!

Zoomy: I’d love to read that! If you can send it to my email, that would be better! I read my emails often. You know I’m old school! Social media is a drag and I get so many links from various people – I don’t always get time to read it all. I miss NewsPapers where you can read all the local and international news in one good setting. I love the idea of actually turning the page.

Inward: The Newspaper is a fun and classic way of knowing information, but you got to wait longer for it. Plus too much paper can be bad for the environment. I’m glad we can send things instantly inside of a matrix. The future is wireless, yo! I prefer links because of how they are in real time. I like to speed read on the go!

Zoomy: That’s cool but I prefer taking my time to read. I miss the days when you got a new record and you could just pop it on your stereo and sit down to listen to it in one sitting. It created an experience that made you pay more attention to the details. The same goes for reading, I don’t mind reading sometimes on the go but most of the time – people don’t click the full articles. They extrapolate as much as possible form one single headline. “Wife finds man cheating on her with his assistant” You’d think that would tell you all you need to know but if you click the article, you’d find a deeper meaning with the context that a headline just can’t offer. People just see the man cheated and goes throughout their day knowing yet again, men are trash – etc. It’s not the coolest way to learn information. A headline isn’t an article, but people just read it anyway. Everyone is sending links to each other and just want them to read it and respond. But most people don’t even keep up with it because something new happens every day.

Inward: Well, after all of that, I’m not sure if I’ll ever send you anything *laughs jokingly*

Zoomy: Feel free to send me anything you find useful. I prefer a good laugh and something informative though. I could care less about XYZ getting surgery or whom they decide to marry or sensational stories of celebrities. It’s fun to talk about in passing but that’s about it.

Inward: I find celebrities fascinating. I think they are the new gods of the modern time. We look up them. We believe in them. We hold them accountable.

Zoomy: I wish more people hold them accountable but usually people let them get away with anything when their PR teams offer a half-ass apology. Regardless, I could care less about their efforts in this life unless they are contributing to the advancement of society by offering their wealth as a loop for those who need it most.

Inward: Whether you care enough or not they hold so much power and being interested in some of their leisure activities don’t harm anyone.

Zoomy: It doesn’t benefit anyone really either. You only care as much as you want to.

Inward: Touché! But I met you through the internet and that link was as random as the article I sent you on Flatbird! So I’m gonna have to get shookie and send it to you!

Zoomy:Cool!

Some Smiles

‪Some smiles light a fire that you didn’t know you had burning inside.

Those flames come to pull you from a place you can no longer hide.

The moment you came out to play – your spirit was instantly burned to ash.

You were not paying attention to the road, thus inevitably inviting a crash.

If only you had purchased insurance to save you from this COSTLY dread.

When looking for the needle, you brushed up against the soft thread.

so, no worries about the glass that has just fallen onto the hard surfaced floor.

Lightning travels faster than sound – the burst of surprise seems to always even the score.

You can arise out of the swampy gloom!

Or maybe stay in the dark corners and explore the haunted tomb?

“For as prismatic radiance walks up the stairs, to decorate a room loaded with white paint.

Think not of the colors which will remain or those that will taint.

The smile of this light redistributes energy, previously unbeknown to me.

For now the twinkle in your eyes has flourished the withering tree.

Forever I see, the reasons that smiles have come to be!

“For the smile of your love is guided by an abstract and randomized beat.
Now the stars can’t help but smile as your illumination has given them a front-row seat!”

Dedicated to all of those near and far who have recently given me another reason to smile. Some smiles travel miles in illuminating styles! 🙂

Look & Book

‪i want a message in the trail‬
‪i need a ship ready to sail‬
‪i want history without the lie‬
‪i need a story with the glory ‬
i want a life with a dizzy rhyme
i need my spirit to fully chime

i got the look for the book‬
‪the eye for the spy‬
a reason for the season

this song is one of ting tong – but the door responds to a different key! i can sing as high as the benevolent opera houses – while dancing in the ghetto street

all of the spectators may follow my feet
they can’t see that i learned the rhythm from the television
through the technicolor movements which professed an inspirational collision
when the beast meets the flower
a growing pain comes knocking at the hour

i got the look for the book‬
‪the eye for the spy‬
a reason for the season

the decadence of a pretender dressed in a preacher‘s gown
this may encourage the witness or detective to drive into town
who’s gonna go to prison or the courthouse after the replication has been made?
after the mirror has been polished from dusty to jade
over and over the lines aren’t fully played

cuz i wanna be the popular tune that encourages pretenders and detectives
i want the clown to wear the preachers gown
i want the stick to satisfy to itch
i want sanity to be a door to poetic discipline

but perhaps my wants and needs are on the blank walls of procrastination?

until then….

i got the look for the book‬
‪the eye for the spy‬
a reason for the season

i got the look for the book‬
‪the eye for the spy‬
a reason for the season

https://soundcloud.com/jestereyesound/look-book

Pockets & Access

I made a video about pockets and their resourcefulness! If you’re looking for a reason to be thankful – thank your pockets! Pockets are truly remarkable in that they provide a humble home for anything we may carry. If you rather listen instead of reading – feel free to listen and watch here!

Pockets & Access

In the interest of convenience, pockets are a must have and quite a common luxury. All of our necessities and miscellaneous materials are provided in a living facility, in the form of pockets!

Pockets are temporary houses to those things we need but don’t want to hold all of the time with our bodies. We as a human species are familiar with holding things, but we generally rely on our bags and pouches.

When you break life down tho- everything in life and the observable universe is a pocket of some kind.

A good way to use a pocket more efficiently would be to combine one thing into an opening of another. So instead of carrying several items at one time- if you use one thing which opens up into something else – your pocket will then be multifunctional.

Pockets hold our information. Think of our backpacks, they too – act like a pocket. Jewelry Containers, Cabinets, Shelves, Brief Cases, Purses, Dresser Drawers. For even our chairs are a pocket for the booty.

One of the most advanced and important pockets: are those which hold sensitive and personal data.

Think of your wallet for example – our cell phones, tablets, and laptops are the pockets of digital information.

Our smartphone is a pocket with many pockets – much like the world wide web. Think about ALL of what it stores? Contacts, encrypted files, pictures, videos, music, emails, and overall ACCESS to all our personal data.)

Can’t you see now how pockets are upon pockets?!

Furthermore, a life without pockets is a burden and makes life more difficult. If we didn’t have any pockets, think about how much more we would have to carry? Pockets are our limbs, they provide a useful shortcut in a society full of holding many things at one time. Life can be extremely stressful when you think of all the things you would have to carry around with you if it wasn’t for pockets!

Pockets are a relief to the burden of carrying a heavy load.

Therefore, I’m all for pocket equality! Women deserve more pockets in their clothing. And I don’t mean the mock pockets that don’t serve any functionality. There’s no use for that and who wants to carry a purse all the time when you can have a useful pocket?

We already collect so much throughout life. Think of our living spaces which is probably the biggest multifunctional pocket of all.

Pockets act as – the quickest access to any of life’s exhibitions!

Pockets are like atoms.

They are in everything.

Pockets are secret tunnels. There are always unknown pockets found everywhere in existence.

Pockets: no matter what they’re carrying or how they’re designed – remains a humble home and a place of rest for any and everything.

So next time you put something in your pocket – smile that a pocket exists so that you don’t have to carry the extra weight. 😉

I’m also aware that some people be stealing out your pockets and that ain’t fun to deal with. Which is why possibly carrying a lion in your pocket is a safe bet, it’ll always be ready to roar! 😀

Death & Revisionism

There seems to be something cosmic about death that encourages a replenishing of the pen. When someone dies – the writers of the pen order a sharp box of new ink! The pencil sharpens its eraser to remove any potential bad news in favor of the preferred story to go with.

If you lived your life as a warmonger – present history shouldn’t erase the trauma and abuse you inflicted in the past. We’re socialized to think, that the moment you die, only your good things should be recalled. Ain’t it strange how we pardon the far away demise in favor of the familiar narrative of heroism?

How, am I supposed to look at the monster that destroyed and conquered the land that wasn’t his? Should I smile at him? Will my smile somehow convince him that my compassion means more than the lives he slaughtered? Maybe the beams in my eyes will illuminate his misery and cause self-reflection that may ultimately lead to repentance?

It’s probably just a dystopian myth led by Christian hope. Even in ‘progressive’ areas of the world, death is still dressed in a traditional garment. The pretended grief from strangers and sunglasses donned to protect friends and family to see underneath it all, you’re not even crying. When someone dies, our memories tend to go through the watch of time and we selectively hold on to the vision we prefer. Americans in particular, are so conditioned to valorize the powerful and defend the people rich enough to afford their own counsel.

I want to envision a world where my love and good vibes actually mean something transcending. but that’s a mission of the strange. It’s almost like reality is stranger than fiction but an illusion is as real as verified science. I can’t seem to grasp the undertaking of a volcanic eruption. The enormity of an explosion which causes lava to scatter to even the most distant villages.

Some people live very close to the volcano and built there entire life there. What about the people who live in areas where hurricanes are common visitors? Should they be worried when the waters come to take what they worked for? Death is not any more mysterious as it is – destiny. A life of shortcomings cannot make one tall suddenly when they leave this planet. Their legacies are what keeps them alive and an objective perspective helps the ash from spreading.

This month I’m taking a break from social media. (Deleted Twitter, Instagram, FB, etc – from my phone – and logged out from other Devices) I’ve called this pink hibernation – it’s already improved my writings and reading (just 3 days in). Social media can be a wonderful tool in bringing to light the sweet and sour grits of the world.

The troubles of life take a larger seat in our consciousness because they make the most profit. simply put, I’m exhausted from the usual annoyances kept at bay by news outlets. You can’t go anywhere too long without a complaint or reminder that tribalism is the new wave to jump on. There’s a lot to learn and I want to pay closer attention to processing information and to toil with silence whenever it comes around.

When: Death Appears Like An Orgasm

“Death has become life in the sense that I’ve reached the light.

I’m apart of the destination that requires the vehicle of pleasure…”

And Now The Last Serving of Dessert served by Jeremy Garner who handles all of the music and production. Additional Vocals served by eLLe. There’s not much explanation behind the intent of this song. Think of watching a movie – we watch it because of the climax. Same reason we read the books. Sometimes the climax is not as exposed but there’s always one hidden in some way. Now think about the face you make when you _________ Exactly. Just look at my face. There’s your answer! 😀

https://soundcloud.com/jestereyesound/death-appearing-like-an-orgasm

Remember – On YouTube is where to find me and Jeremy Garner’s Latest Collaborations!

Intellect Hanging On The Wings Of The Immaculate

Sometimes, you need to be reminded that; You are a brave soul. With wings to fly. You have the muscles and energy of your ancestors strong in you right now. Remember You Are Royal, and Your Intelligence is A Reminder of This Very Fact of Your Flight! Connecting with the plural (a group) means understanding the singular landscape (Individual sense of self).

I hope you can listen to this affirmation, and then move accordingly into a Higher Height and even a deeper depth. You got this!

You are intelligent – remember that. If you don’t feel like you are, you can learn about yourself. Get familiar with the sand. Understand nature and unlock the pineal gland. Realizing on a conscious collective that we all have been given this knowledge individually. At the primitive core – we reflect a broader reality. No longer must we subject ourselves to the illusion of systematic indoctrination. All of us can push into higher places with the sharpening of insight.

It takes studying. Reading. Listening.

We have been given mobility, and that grants us access to our individual journey. Realizing that our abilities can be sharpened and we can go to further than we ever thought was possible.

In other words: The knowledge of your abilities is hanging on the wings of those who have gone that far – your ancestors.

A Relic In The Ocean

A life can be tossed or rolled down the hill
When it reaches the concrete ground – is there life still?
After being pressed and torn up without a single care
After all of that destruction, is this even fair?
By the time it’s all said and done – nobody has won
Love and hate is already inside of the gun
No one seems willing to pull the trigger
Fear starts to grow stronger and BIGGER
The fetus position is invited for a safer swallow
There they began minimizing themselves in a paper like hollow
When troubles aim to roll us up like a fat blunt
Are we still backing up our integrity from the front?
Historians have written down this story for you to read
It’s up to you to make life a good deed
Or this can simply be another relic in the ocean
A story hardly capable of stirring motion.

Slingshots and Cigarellos

A slingshot gets whatever’s inside just a little further in the distance. It’s merely a leap in the considerable distance. This is what a cigarillo does for me. When smoking one, I get a little leap and a light sensation in my feet. It’s a unique feeling but one that is merely a leap. If I really want to travel first class with more benefits a glass of wine does the trick.

This is not the same as being HIGH. When you’re high – no drone or airplane can reach you. You become the skyscraper and the eagle. It’s something about being at the top. Sitting on the throne means that very few can bother you.

We ain’t always at the top but that doesn’t mean you still can’t say hi!

The world has changed a lot but some things take longer than others. Every minute of our life on this planet we are gradually getting closer to our destruction. It was the famous poet Giacomo Leopardi who said: “Death is not an evil, because it frees us from all evils, and while it takes away good things, it takes away also the desire for them. Old age is the supreme evil, because it deprives us of all pleasures, leaving us only the appetite for them, and it brings with it all sufferings. Nevertheless, we fear death, and we desire old age.”

It’s an oxymoron that we wish to get high at the expense of our coming age. It will catch up with us eventually. Nonetheless, we have tools to help us get there slower. I’m deciding to take it slower even as our life moves at rapid speed. “I can’t believe it’s already MAY!” They say! “Time has been going by so fast – before you know it the end of the year will be here.”

Well yeah, that’s kind of how time works. It keeps on without our ability to maintain it. All of us are not record checkers. We’re told to not look back and I get that looking back has the tendency of locking us in a time freeze. However, it’s imperative to consider what history has taught us. History is just one of those teachers that don’t give up on giving homework and lessons for us to remember.

History goes from one auxiliary to the next, choosing for some mysterious reason to follow first this path and then another one.

How is it – that we easily forget what comes before? Back to the slingshot – what a rocket blaster huh? Maybe not so much – but this depends on the elasticity of the rubber. When the composite materials are of highest quality, anything which rests inside of the rubber nest is sure to go a long way. Cigarillos ain’t meant to take you over the Northstar or where drones can’t reach you. A little light in your feet ain’t the same as floating where the clouds come to change its face with every passing phase.

The Opening Quest

In preparation for further development of my book, I decided to answer several questions from one of my favorite authors Dushka Zapata.

These questions set the tone for 2018 while also inspiring me to invite you to send me questions that you have thought about existence. The goal isn’t to overthink but to answer with what you feel in the heart of the moment.

Here are my favorite 14 questions.

1. “If life had no meaning, what meaning would I create for mine?”

I’d create a meaning that would mean something to me tomorrow. A meaning that has enough nutrition to last for me and those who came after me. If no others came after me then the meaning would have to be enough to satisfy me even when I’m bored. Something to make me laugh and cry because it’s all so beautifully complex.

2. “If there was no purpose to our existence, what purpose would I give to mine to shield myself from existential despair?”

I would make it a mission to make someone think about their life and what they can do with it. I would want them to laugh at how ironic this whole game of life is. I would want to show myself and people around me how life is so short and how we should chase what gives us that rush.

3. “What matters to me? Why? And once I figure this out, can I determine an order of importance?”

Freedom matters most to me. To be at full liberty without the worry that I must stop at the disadvantage of someone’s inability to respect my equilibrium. If I could get out of someone’s way to their freedom. Establishing importance would mean to know it’s not just about me.

4. “Is there a healthy, logical correlation between my priorities and how I spend my time? If not, why?”

I give myself too much time for tasks I feel can wait. I must embed a pattern of usual, so I don’t buy into the distractions because god knows I have binged on many distractions. I think I have bought so much time because I see time as an illusion and I feel I always have time, but I’ve come to realize I don’t always have time. It’s always leaving me when I gain it.

5. “What am I afraid of? Can I learn to distinguish the fear that protects me from the fear that stops me?”

“They say everybody is afraid of something although I don’t know what actually makes me afraid now. I am drawn to the unknown and I believe fear makes us strong at times. I suppose my fear is to be consistent in the most western way of doing it. (I must always pay my bills and have enough left over) Constantly making enough that is sufficient and inspiring enough to last. The best way for me to distinguish it is to fail occasionally and not feel guilty about it.”

6.”What happens when I get what I want? Is it glorious, empty, triumphant, anticlimactic? Why?”

I usually feel content with it. Sometimes when I want something so very badly and get it – I don’t feel like it was worth the wanting. I would like to capture the gloriousness more because there’s substance in playing in that feeling. I think it becomes anticlimactic because I knew I could get it – I just didn’t think I would survive the trip to get there.

7. “What does happiness mean to me? What makes me happy and how can I capture that elusive sensation more often?”

Happiness means more laughter and learning found in simple and complex things. I think if I read more, the joy of happiness will show up more.

8. “What hurts me? How can I become stronger against what causes me to suffer? How and where can I learn to suffer less? How can I remind myself that the person who makes me suffer the most is me?”

I hurt myself when I don’t own up to my decisions and how they influence others. I should remember that I am in the driver’s seat and that my reactions can be calmer. To be mindful of silence and that words don’t always have to be spoken.

9. “What is left of me if I attempt to define myself without leaning on anything I do? I am a student, I am a writer, I am a mom, I am a manager, I am a Vice President – these are all things I do. Who am I? Where is she?”

This is a very complex one. I am here and while I am here, I want to make as much hell and fun on this trip. I observe, sleep, learn and then convert this knowledge into love for everyone around me.

10. “How can I avoid losing myself in my relationships? What are my boundaries and how do I enforce them?”

One way is to have a clear understanding that we do not belong to each other but that we are only appreciating and honoring each other’s company. That we live with the knowledge that we can together but sometimes we may steer to our own strengths by ourselves. I can enforce my boundaries by staying true to myself without shame or pressure.

11. “What do my feelings teach me about myself? If I feel anger or jealousy, can I learn not to react to these feelings but instead determine what they are trying to tell me?”

They are trying to tell me to maybe rearrange what I do not understand. To Ask more questions and to speak softly and to apologize when I’ve assumed too much. I can learn by simply remembering people are often in the same state as me. They just want clarity.

12. “What happens when I sit in silence?”

I find that the stillness in myself is still yearning to speak to myself in riddles of nothing but me, myself, and I.

13. “How can I better manage change? How can I get better at accepting how little control I have?”

Knowing that I did not choose to be born here at the time I was. Some parts are played long before I got here.

14. “How would I like to be remembered?”

“Remembered for good company with a fresh willingness to open a door that people didn’t really think about turning, making them laugh while thinking.”

If you got through all of my answers to these magnificent questions, I applaud your interest endearingly! I encourage you to answer some of these questions as well! I wanted to start 2018 with these questions because they would open up my understanding of myself and where I want to go.

I am making it a mission to write way more while reading, listening, and observing.

We can do this thing together – narrating and asking. This will help us climb the ladder for clarity among all living things!

((*Every 7th of the month from now until March – I’ll post 3 of my favorite questions (& 7 replies) that I find correlates with the book I’m working on! If you have any questions that you have asked at any time // feel free to email me at jesterj7@hotmail.com

Gradual (Not Immediate) Approximately

Are you aware of the ‘Trans-Theoretical Model’? (TTM)

It comes in 5 Stages:

(1) Pre-contemplation – When one is unaware that change is necessary.

(2) Contemplation – When one recognizes the problem but not fully committed to changing it.

(3) Preparation – When one decides a change is necessary – When one Makes an effort.

(4) Action – When one puts into motion the action to deal with the problem.

(5) Maintenance – Goes hand in hand with action – Also where urges arise to encourage a relapse into the same behaviors.

We don’t always take into account how long It takes to changing behavioral patterns. As most things in life teach us – it ain’t that simple and the complications should be honored. These steps provide a layout that reminds us of the pieces that form the full picture of recovery. Even when you’re on the last step – it’s important to keep track of progress.

It’s easy and expected to get lost on your road to recovery and it’s very plausible that you may relapse. We aren’t always understanding of this struggle but exercising empathy is one of the best traits we can use for one another. This doesn’t mean we excuse toxic behavior in favor or someone’s journey – but again to exercise empathy is a great reward.

At best we are only approximating solutions. We’re all looking through the glass dimly through scuffs and bruises. Which is close enough, TBh. We are gradually getting to where we need to be. If history serves us correctly, it takes time and failure.

Trial and error.

We can learn an awful lot if we use what’s around us to our advantage. There is a lot which is beyond our reach but so many things close to our distance. It’s better if we deal with what’s in front of us rather than overlook what’s just around the corner.

Which leads me to my next point.

When was the last time you thought about the importance of reading?

NEWS FLASH: Most folks – don’t read.

Headlines are not articles. Articles aren’t always volumes but if properly condensed you can pack a lot of information in a few paragraphs. You don’t have to travel to discover more about the people around you. Reading is fundamental and while this is clear – it’s often forgotten about. Books are becoming less and less interested in mass consumption.

The link between bad behaviors and reading inevitably cross in light of new information.

It suddenly dawned me on just how a vast many of us are indeed ‘programmed’. When I say suddenly – I don’t mean out of nowhere. It didn’t reveal itself from the blanket of nothingness. Rather – upon careful observation of our various climates and conditions. We (Humans) are a special breed of Living energies and the way we cope knowledge and information have never been easier at the dawn of this internet age.

^^ I saw this and laughed myself into a deeply thoughtful analysis which is the basis of this blog post.

How many of us are really informed because of the tools made available to us for FREE on the Internet? Water is life and So is The Internet and I’ve already talked about this before – so I won’t go too far on that.

When I think of being ‘programmed’ it’s not by some pseudo prophetic cyber chip implanted in our fingers and hands. It’s more indirect. We have far better access than we’ve ever had in history. Regardless of this, many of us are ignorant of those around us. We simply don’t know because we’re plugged into the system of paying bills and finding out what’s next to eat. This pattern of daily living can get ruthless and if you’re not stimulating your brain by renewing perspectives – like a languid body sitting constantly, you become stuck.

We may not be DEEP or Intellectual enough to break it down from the micro and macro but with the connection of knowledge, we can stay informed. Don’t know? Get up and exercise your right to ask.

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t have to be all the way there. You can approximate your way to the answer.

Misery And Company At Your Buffet

I sat down right next to misery on the train towards The Highway of Empathy. Misery then told me, how much they loved my company for they had sensed my pain. Before I knew it – I began telling them what made me miserable. It’s fair to say we bonded quite quickly.

The phenomenon of trauma bonding is a bit more clever than I supposed. I left feeling as if I wasn’t the only one who had pains and bruises. I knew it was not only me who knew misery. When I finally arrived at Empathy Highway – I began to understand so many others experienced and felt similar to me. I quickly realize what we soon discover – I ain’t the only one in this bih!

“In the land of misery there lived a voice. A voice seeking to be heard by all of those whose woes were awakened by shared disgrace. Misery has a lot of company. Friends or enemies – it matters none to misery EVERYONE is invited to bond over the fire and ice. We are burned and then we are sent to Antartica.”

We are living in a time where misery is experienced at an intensified level.

With knowledge comes the awareness to put knowledge at exercise. It can’t stand to be stagnant – it must move in order for it to truly be alive. For what can be said about the familiar stroke of hardship? How are we to move on when our motivation is gone and when there’s no clear path to healing?

The conditions of life can be very hard even for the strongest of us. All we really have is each other and when your neighbor starts acting a fool, you got yourself. Even when you let yourself down, you’re still with YOU. Another chance to get it right. Remembering that even when it’s wrong you can appreciate the balance.

STILL, we can’t help but listen and share our woes. Whether with people, paper, art, or any amount of creation we can find to muster those silent woes. While we all share a relationship with life’s pain and triumphs – our pains are remembered with stronger conviction.

Misery is a friendly invitation extended to anyone who chooses to remember their miserable experiences. Somebody will find something to complain about. There’s always room for improvement and complaints remind us there are advancements that can be made. Just as long we keep it in the current motion.

Hindsight is more the 20/20 – it’s a dream we won’t remember all the details to.

We are like questions being drawn at the expense of searching for answers.

Sometimes all it takes is the right question to be found at the right time in your sorrow. I have learned to not be afraid of sorrows pull – for there’s a lot I have yet to process in my tears.

When the aches of life return and wish to retreat at a buffet with all sorts of past and present existential reminders – I’m gonna eat it one tribulation at a time. ( I may very well leave some entree’s because some things are too high in sugar and fat).

We don’t have to deal with all of the sorrows of the world at once. There’s a lot to eat and if you’re aren’t careful you can put way too much on your plate because you spend too much company with misery. Social Justice is important but if you’re gonna be a warrior – you have to always be prepared to fight.

That’s part of the problem, carrying swords, arrows, and armor. You won’t always be able to dodge those bullets and avoid the inevitable. The inevitable happens. Response or reaction? It’s all about your determination to resolve. If it’s all meant to be here or there.

Don’t let life hassle you into a thousand schemes of awakening. *Sleeping is sometimes some of the best natural medicine life can give you*. I’d encourage you to be aware of the many courses made available to you. Blow off your back the familiar retrograde set to keep you in flames. Every experience isn’t dealt with the same way – best if we stop pretending they are. Leave yourself to your own space where you can eat your grace at your pace.

Remember: You’re the one eating at the buffet. *Hopefully you’re eating more than the sweets!!!* You get to choose what you want and what’s yours. No matter who’s around you encouraging you to “EAT! EAT! IT’S GOOD!” It may not be good and to the company that suggests otherwise – remember it’s your buffet! You get to eat whatever you want. Your mouth, Your choice!

Don’t Blink

Don’t Blink – or else you’ll shatter everything around you.

The moment the eye realizes the disease of make-believe // imagination is haunted by the face of reality.

Don’t Blink – unless I’ll break the promise to stare into history past.

The present time is seen to grapple with a future that can’t be removed from my signing eyes.

Don’t Blink – unless the tears will roll from my eyes.

The longer I stare at the trauma that came before me – I begin to understand myself.

Don’t Blink – keep paying attention to the passing pages. I can’t miss out on what’s happening – I wanna be ready for it all.

If I miss what’s been said how can I follow you to comprehension’s end?

Don’t Blink – If you want to be conscious and aware of the real impact of growth.

If you wanna see it as it happens in real-time there ain’t no room for slack or missed information.

Don’t Blink by the frame of seconds to minutes and minutes to hours.

*When reality jumps against you too fast. You thought it was yesterday but it was actually two weeks ago.*

Don’t Blink or else you’ll miss the joke that just swiped past you.

Ever heard what they called TIME that has happened already?

“By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.”

Don’t Blink or else you’ll silence the words meant to speak to your soul.

Don’t Blink until you win out what was lost.

Don’t Blink – unless you are alive to what will perform in front of you.

Pain Heartbreak Then You Read

photo-feb-06-11-48-15-pm

I have read many books and have looked at too much recent history, to think this country was ever really great. // The origin of this country is really nationalistic for barbaric reasons. Slavery, Genocide, and capitalism. These things have been so normal to me – sometimes I have to remind myself I am actually living in a place TAKEN from Native Americans. Slaves (some are actually in my bloodlines) worked day in and day out and DID not get paid for their labor. We were instead raped, isolated, cut off from our families, and indoctrinated to believe “slaves were to obey their masters”. We were not actually considered human beings under law. While these things seem so long ago they aren’t and we are still living through the trauma of these atrocities. So no. I can’t think this country is great when the numbers speak for themselves. Reading the story connects the reality why my face curves when people talk about THIS GREAT COUNTRY. 😀

The Itch

A lot of shi(f)t is happening right now. In real life – everything is manifesting by the sensation upon my frames. Not long ago it felt like nothing was really coming full circle. I’ve been paying attention to the things that distract me. I’m learning a great deal about what leads me in their direction. Everything is intent but at the same time – some things really lead you into distant directions. You are not always aware of what causes sudden changes. Until you study the decoys and undercover agents. Some activities are a pure habit to our person. The Scratch is the fulfillment of the noisy itch.

Are you scratching yet? 😀

Dragons never demand the fire to come out of them – it just does out of natural design. We are constantly being fed in multiple directions the distraction of food. We have different fits of hunger and some of them we love to binge on. We are social beings filled with interaction with common and even alien species. It’s not uncommon to at sometimes – to desire sugar more than water. Once addiction interferes with other qualities of life – then there is a fault to blame. Nevertheless, we are constantly responding to multiple levels of sound. These are DISTRACTIONS. Once attention has regained proper pairing with SOURCE AND RESPONSIBILITY – It’s sometimes overwhelming – we are more distracted in other realms alien to our own.

At all times, though, things happen around us – everything is connected and joined to some kind of future manifestation. There is simply no shame. Everything is happening and that’s a good thing. Even when it seems bad. The world at large is feeling a sensation – a change that we all know it directly linked to entropy. Listen to the state of politics. The state of lives being dismissed in the name of the foolish protocol. The music invites us to the next.

Now, I can see what’s really going on. I’m now fully aware of my present moment. Nothing is at war. I’m at peace with the now and current. Amen.

*(f) // Function or in other words – the kind of activity that is designed in order cause you to stop in your track. A noticeable movement of plates that emerge when felt. Also ‘Feeling’ If you scratched at all during the reading of this post – you have experienced The Itch. The sensation beyond that causes us to act to relieve. Itching and scratching // feeling and functioning out of irritation.

No matter how the irritation comes – to solve this itch one must heal the source. Engaging with clarity and sensation.

Activity n’ Pyramids

There is a host of activity surrounding us on the daily. Noise. Constant movement, some would call this Static. I’ve already created a piece called ‘Harvesting The Static‘ which details just exactly what it means and how we can listen to the distractions.

But what about when noise is so fluent you hardly can analyze it? Take the random things that happen within a day and then start thinking just how supernatural our lives actually are. While not every day is some bingo of surprise, we conquer amazing tasks throughout our daily lives. The stories we develop over time are fascinating to read. If you write in a journal or keep some sort of record of history, you’ll begin to see cycles and algorithms. Things usually start to happen during a certain cycle. Just like in Winter it starts getting cold, and Summer the heat rises. Some psychologists and scientists would assume everything to the tiniest speck, has intention behind it. Not that everything is controlled by something, rather everything seems to have had a constant working relationship with each other.

The details of life, are the framework behind some of the greatest stories ever told. It’s not the Golden Ticket all of the time, sometimes it’s simply the favor of the opportunity. You may have not stumbled on the winning ticket, but you could have made contact with a door – that will guarantee you greater heights.

I think life is always encouraging us to take the stairs. Opening the doors might mean you have to climb more stairs, but think about what you can observe from the top. Even pyramids are intended for you to go higher.

I’m one to believe, in the coyest of moments of life, we can find great reason and strength. The details bring the finest impressions…..But not all life is measured that way. Makes sense. There is a balance.

Not every day have I kept a record of the passing events that occur in a day. I’m not cut from the cloth that can commit to such a pattern. I guess they’re ways to develop it, but I don’t have the ……

Honestly. Not sure how random this is going to be for you – reading this – but as I walk home, writing this post on my phone {9:55 PM} – a bird just ran into my phone. (It’s dark, I’m not sure if the bird was partially blind but I just freaked out! I didn’t drop my phone as it happened but whoa!

See! That’s what I’m saying. Sometimes random things happen in a day, and it’s not that you forget them on purpose but so much happens. I challenge you to write interesting details that occur throughout your day. You’ll be amazed at all of the circuits of dREaM phenomenal you’ll uncover. The moment something strange happens, likely throughout the day they become stronger and more interesting. The past is never banished, but it changes its form and grasp. We end up doing the same thing over and over because cycles are circles.

I am not asking that you focus a considerable amount of detail to your day because that just becomes overwhelming. But if something by chance pops at you, or seems a bit odd/interesting – write it down. You’ll be quite surprised at just how we each have moments of unique experiences. (Hopefully, it’s not a pigeon aiming flight for your phone! :D)

So,

A lot is always going on because you are alive. Life has a way of reminding you. You got a story to tell. Activity is consciousness made aware, by our determined focus to detail.

The Tao of Pimpin’ By Blue!

Well, damn!

That’s been my reaction after reading the wealth of knowledge engrained in the book ‘The Tao of Pimpin’

It’s interesting how, I met Blue (The Author and pimp herself) It was through a post shared by a mutual friend of ours, Jamilah. I noticed her posts, and she always seemed to make me laugh and think. However, it was her social conscious delivery that made me realize too. She had songs like ‘Don’t Get Your Ass Beat By The Police’ which still, remains one of my favorite jams even now. From then on, we kept in conversation through Facebook and her website.

When I realized she was writing this book, I did not think twice about putting my order in! A couple of days later, I picked it up and I was simply overwhelmed by the knowledge in this book. It’s not the most important if you read it from Z to A or some letter in between — the point is the same. ‘It’s Pimping Baby’

If you’re looking to determine some secret formula to pimping, you’ve already forgotten the Dynamic process.

Throughout the book, you are minded of this process.

Pimps, Ho’s, Hustlers, Scallywags, Outlaws, and pigs are apart of this process.

You must be wise and discover, Real Pimping’ is when you overstand. Real talk.

Real Pimping.

Through the passages of this book, I’ve been aware of the system of pimping in my own walk. She brought out a wealth of points which are revealed through your everyday living.

I recommend this book, to the youth! Everybody needs a closer examination of a system that has been in existence since the genesis.

Pimpin’ has been around longer than you imagine. Look beyond the cane, rag, and cup. Your inner pimp is reminded through the code of this book, how to thrive in the midst of everyone else.

She sheds light on how to respond to everyone. The wit in this book is unbearable. It makes you literally THINK, but it is given in such a way a child can understand.

Literally imperative, by the notion that it keeps you awaken to your inner pimp. Everyone has this pimp, dying to be fed. Here is the letter, and spirit, in which she delivers these formations. Her knowledge is understood, with no contradiction, but with the marriage of essence.

IN light of my appreciation of this book, here are 7 of my favorite quotes which have helped my next steps.

“Real Pimpin’ is like water. Water don’t fight. Water don’t flee. Water don’t compete with the powers that be. Water don’t need no music. Water don’t need no pro’s. Water flows where no one goes. Water is subject to the way. The How. Water stays at peace with the Tao.”

“Hos never ho by force. Hos ho by choice. When a ho chooses a pimp, a ho made a ho decision. If a pimp uses force to get a ho, then the pimp doesn’t have a ho. The pimp has a slave and slavery is a violation of the 13th amendment of the United States Constitution and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights declared by The General Assembly of The United Nations.”

“Stay cool. Let all things take their course. If a pimp isn’t holding on, a pimp has no attachments and therefore, has nothing to lose. So why force things? Why resist?”

“Fear is the greatest illusion know to human beings. When people get scared, they start preparing to defend themselves; searching for a fight. There’s no greater violation of our oneness than the preparation to fight one another”

“A wise pimp won’t brag or boast, yet still receives due credit. she doesn’t celebrate her work, so she has no need to self edit.”

“Real Pimpin’ has no agenda. She thinks with the people, loving the lover and the haters. She’s kind to the good, and she’s kind to the bad. she trusts, everyone, whether they deserve it or not.”

WONDERING WHAT THE TAO IS?

“The Tao has no definition. You can define other things in terms of the Tao but you cannot define the Tao in terms of anything else. To define The Tao, you would have to define it in terms of itself. That’s like defining “Consciousness” using “Consciousness” in that definition, At best, you just said what you said, but you ain’t said shit for real.”

So, I encourage you all to find the passion and lesson in this book! You can order right here!YOU WILL NOT BE MISLED, BUT FOUND.

http://battlecryofthebutterfly.com/taoofpimpin/

Also, check out her website!

http://www.battlecryofthebutterfly.com/uranusisblue/

Illustrations Of Awareness (Waking UP)

Taking it a step further by bringing a deeper level of awareness.The story that brings illustrations!

The story that brings illustrations!

These illustrations of the past and present are being spoken by a friend of awareness. She has discovered the codes that are transmitted by the parasite of hidden agenda. Cartoon depictions of zealous exaggeration, fighting the awakening pivot of the light. The answering portion to hallucinations is freely entrusted into her mouth and mind. By the earnest fixation of embedded lies, the alarm has sounded. These paintings of embroidered manifestations are multiple stories told. No one truly looks at a picture of surrealism the same, as the story reaches on different levels. The beginning may be of multifaceted singularity, the middle of frightened solitude, and the end of disdain. This illustration is of the lines read in the booklets of identification. When reading; the curiosity is aroused if there is the stream of realization. Truly the governing piece is set by whims of conscious involvement.

Tell me your story?

I am creating a medium to broadcast stories, as they are told throughout nature! We must wake up to the consciousness of these illustrations. Sometimes we may not be able to understand, EVERY story. But, maybe the message was never intended for you. Not everything is going to be understood, at the exact moment, they are spoken.

Just remember the awareness can also come through illustration!

Fictional Likeliness

The door of fiction transcends the likeness of reality.

Laughter is dressed with an uninvited consequence of surprise.

Victory exists within an untamed instinct – to affirm the burning desire which calls out onto you!

As presence is clarified by the nature of your standing, there is power in the discipline which guides your motion.

Admitting to the discovery that is in your own soul and the drifting days which cause the concurring revelation.

Not being able to spell through the continuance variety – the declarations are spelled out.

Truthfully these papers are written because they announce themselves to me.

They write unto and into me – how glorious is the pin and sin of pivoting rewards!

Casting by the midnight fixation of resting, you are no longer moving in the one.

Such joy and bliss in my heart because of the midnight glistening of sweetly given melodies.

I’m dead and alive.

The received and alienated!

There is a white picture here, but I don’t know if you recognize it?

It’s still here, Only existing by the fiction of the background.

I’ve become very aware of the discovery necessary in my own soul and this month I feel closer to this present reality!

I feel these writings will become a story told of old and new.