Storage Ghost

my eyes roll like dice, scattering probabilities spiced!
the cost of a gamble?
is scratching my head as i ramble !

whatever to the never,
‘cuz it’s not like IT intended on ever really coming through ( at least, FOR YOU)

their languished, weary confusion, was then
re-billed to my mirrored delusion!
i can either pay it, or let it go, overdraft?
after which, the picture and frame would both laugh !

‘cuz what a scene that would be, ha –
to portray : my dismay, on the table of their concern?
i much rather burn!!!
until i’m left crusted from the flickering flame...

041421 SG
fire, plants, art decor

peeling away at this smoke and ash –
forgiveness is requesting to come to pass,
but i’m too stubborn to ever remember,
that my preference for Spring is not tantamount to your December!

so i choose to remove myself like a fly, chilling against the wall.

but if you were close to my ear, i wouldn’t dismiss your call.
neither, would i smash at the annoyance of your disposition.
irrespective of how preciously, you may regard that ‘position’.

i shutter to believe : we could shoulder next to the grudge
‘cuz it wouldn’t be long until we succumb to the nudge
but,
by storing my memories to your ghost? i’ve relinquished our odds to the abyss and uttermost!

anyways: THE GREAT BIG ESCAPE

looking to find all of the buttons scattered within my mind…

(some reside in the odd corner of 3 n’ 9)

the rest are vacant by 2 n’ 6 with open even tricks

033121 ATGBE
annnnyyyywayyyssss

anyways….

as many suspicions rely on a freaky obscenity 

shoulders are then encouraged to shuffle with amenity

shrugging against the monster which urged them to undress

a fear which quickly transformed their compress

anyways…

now the steam is reasonably provoked & mean

cuz the command was found boiling hot

strings then, wired and tied into a frustratingly difficult knot!

ANYWAYS, this is : THE GREAT BIG ESCAPE! also known as tHe gRaPe & DiP sHaPe, but more clearly understood to be as when one’s gate is rigged against, its fate!

HISTORICAL FACT*

it is a historical fact! that the story has been played like an act !
there’s indeed a synopsis and sequel  …
but the characters and setting are not equal !



troubled is the fragrance that left me stained
reminded, tossed, inactive remains? spiked n’ chained !
i wish to train the cross left for me to bear
the markers are legislated : docile and unfair

it is a historical fact! that the lines are studied, written, & tracked!
there’s indeed a subject and plot …
but the producer failed at hiring the director’s slot !

whose forrest is being destroyed and whose lawn is in need of finely cut grass?
besides the mercenaries who only seek to exploit the working class?
BUT we’re kicking the glass so that it may fall
for this sound is a recall
that the shattering deposition of restricting forces may withstand even within an arid and calloused land/hand

it is a historical fact! that the story has been cracked!
there’s indeed hammers, screws, and drills ….
but the complex is yet incomplete, exempt from all the thrills!

we’re pumped y’all! ! 
cuz we’ve already been captured by a blood sucking thief
thus, certainly there’s no peace of mind or bodily relief
when in war – one can not simply refuse the score
only until the pedals and bullets are scattered on the floor
will the meaning of such sacrifice bum-rush the door

it is a historical fact! that the story has been stacked!
one coming in after the other, now the room is packed!
there’s indeed a selling point and central theme
one in which may create a distraction or a humorous meme ….

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH.9 : TRIPPING ON YOUR TRIP)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will conclude on December 21, 2020.*

“w3 op3n th3 door and what do w3 s33? a big fat mirror looking at w3. what’s this r3fl3ction t3lling w3? to charg3 all my sadn3ss on w3. but it can’t all b3, m3? (no w3) w3 must shar3 th3 w3ight. p3opl3 hav3 stol3n from w3. th3y’v3 li3d on w3. som3 hav3 3v3n stood right b3sid3 w3 and d3c3iv3d w3. as w3 hav3 to th3m. our trust was shak3n. nobody r3ally want3d us to mak3 it. but this mirror ain’t dirty. nah, th3 light of r3fl3ction ain’t fak3. w3’r3 only s33ing a strong3r r3alization to rak3. it’s bigg3r than ‘m3’ and this is th3 anniv3rsary of our own. our tim3. our r3fl3ction is hon3st and this tim3 – w3’r3 not cl3aning th3 mirror. it’s tim3 w3 c3l3brat3 our scars. for what it’s worth. all of what w3 ar3 is an indication of what cam3 b3for3 m3, my g3n3tics hav3 outlin3d som3 of these lin3s. still – it’s only m3 on this trip. 3v3rybody l3av3s th3 party in th3ir own tim3, but you’r3 still stuck with yours3lf.”
– anniv3rsary of our own

 

since we are all on this trip through life, why should i be tripping on your trip? TOMSON began to think. he would hear from BISHOP GRIN often at HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL “i’m on my way to heaven and i’m enjoying the trip!” some people are literally living according to a specific set of guidelines – just to make it into heaven. have you met people who restrict themselves from certain places because of the fear that may yield to various temptations? 

living a life of holiness means always being on your toes. Tomson began to understand the relationship between good and evil as being determined on a line which could not be flirted with. those that only want to do good – did so, because of the reward system which made him question their true intentions. 

TOMSON found it difficult to understand the purpose of doing good only because of the promise of heaven or good karma. he wanted to do good because it felt good and because it made his trip more enriching. if we are all in this together and we happen to have enough to share – it seemed obvious one would do so. he believed the world, would be a much better place if everyone all shared the wealth. often, we have enough to spare, even when having little we can still share to those who have less.

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our ancestors have drawn various symbols and art in gratitude to the nature around them. the sun. the river. the winds. various animals that provided a source of food for them. there’s an obvious connection to a source. this source may not be empirically visible, but reality is stranger than fiction, while illusion can be as real as verified science.

 

“if one can’t see how journeys are stepping stones to a better life, then what is left behind? a waste of time, where our lumpy shadows twined? an empty hall where you were forced to go through with no promise at the end? for our choices are written and it can’t be erased by the present pen! the painted walls are set to dry and the center stage lightning, is no longer frightening! “

TOMSON began to think that people who talked to G-D seemed faithful in their communication through prayer and supplication. as for those, who G-D apparently spoke to directly? Well?! : did they hear from G-D or was that just them and their mind? such an exchange displaced through a one way line!

*animals can also enter the university as a ‘Don‘_Key, speaking through numbers of old covenants*. indeed, humans and any living thing can also become instruments in which THE DIVINE flows through. this paradoxical stream and representation, thrilled TOMSON enough to finally seek the remedy to such a daunting equation, which had most perplexed him about his faith which by now, RaN2 his FATE: IS GOD DONKEYKONG?!

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH.7 : TITHES AND OBLIGATIONS)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 3 chapters will resume respectively as follows :

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

 

 

“everybody wants to shout and dance when the message is relevant…”TOMSON understood this to be true. the relevance of a story matters to where people are in life. convenient stores have higher prices than the *MARKET***because quicker access in the capitalist system, means an elevated price tag. this also explains, the vast amount of people drawn to messages which are engineered to make them feel good.

you do not need any formal training to be a guru or spiritual adviser. if you have the right amount of personality matched with charisma and understanding of your target *MARKET*, you can go anywhere without much effort. people will begin to flock to you like ants onto fresh fruit. TOMSON started to see : how the church could be a ran as a business where the funds being put into it manifested itself for individual production instead of everyone taking and owning the means of their production / investment.

TOMSON was taught, as a young kid to always give back. if G-D, blessed you to accumulate wealth, you should give back a small portion of that wealth back to G-D. now of course, if G-D was ever hungry – he would not tell us! “if i were hungry, i would not tell you, for the world and its fullness are mine! (psalms 50:12)

TOMSON began to interpret these scriptures as symbolic parables of investment and return; but for the sake of the argument the church used – he obliged the notion. if you are blessed and you can be a blessing, why wouldn’t you want to? at both HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL AND OVERFLOWING RIVERS the church always sang “you can’t beat G-D’s giving no matter how you try.” however, you were encouraged to try especially if you had the means to. in fact, even if you didn’t have much – there was always a story in the bible of someone who didn’t have MUCH but still gave her LAST for the kingdom of heaven.

the story of the widow who GAVE the last bit of what she HAD to live on comes to TOMSON’s mind. (mark 12:44) thus, the church saw those poor and meek as the very ones capable of giving, for G-d will return to you a hundredfold! TOMSON remember staying up at late nights to watch channel 703 : “you got to sow a seed! to reap a harvest, you must sow in the fertile ground!” he would hear from preachers on television.

the fruits and vegetables can’t manifest until you sow. how much you get back depends on how much you invest, and so it goes. the way PROSPERITY preachers turned around the most basic stories and scriptures to their advantage amazed TOMSON tremendously. the act of giving back made sense if streamed from a natural inclination.

OVERFLOWING RIVERS knew this very well and constantly reminded people “you must each decide in your heart how much to give. and don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “for G-D loves a person who gives cheerfully.” (2 corinthians 9:7).

there is not as much pressure to give according to the desires of your own heart, but the OBLIGATION came fully reinforced with tithing. as a child growing up at HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL, TOMSON remembered how he his father YELLOW JOURN would give he and his siblings weekly allowances that would mostly go towards snacks and other junk food. YELLOW JOURN still advised that one should separate a 10% from the sum of everything received . TOMSON remembered getting 5.00$ and how good it felt to have that money to use on anything he wanted. he’d deduct 50 cents for G-d and keep a whole 4.50$ to himself. it made sense to him & everyone at his church.

However, shortly after moving to Albuquerque, TOMSON and RAPTUS started to question the specifics behind tithing. was it biblical? and by biblical – TOMSON and RAPTUS sought to source if tithing historically made sense? he frightened in thinking – tithing 10% was another TRADITION he had been made hostage to without reasonable thinking? after all most of the scriptures he remembered about tithing came from the old testament. he can still hear the church missionary GLADYS read with passionate conviction // malachi 3:8-12

“8 will a man rob god? yet ye have robbed me. but ye say, wherein have we robbed thee? in tithes and offerings.
9 ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.
10 bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the lord of hosts, if i will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.
11 and i will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the lord of hosts.
12 and all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the lord of hosts.”

 

THE LORD OF HOSTS was thee ULTIMATE game show HOST!

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as mentioned in chapter 5, TOMSON was raised with preachers reading whatever they wanted to in the text. (EISEGESIS). this is probably the best example of remixing a scripture to say whatever one wishes for it to say. somebody would read the scripture and then ask the same question, Malachi asked the people of Israel. “will a man rob G-D?” INDEED, you have robbed me! not only was it possible to rob G-d apparently most people were robbing him in tithes and offering and this provided a hefty guilt trip even for TOMAS – who still feared *now and then* landing in hell with gasoline trousers!

 

even in the KNEW TESTAMENT it was written “woe unto you, scribes and pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cumin and have omitted the weightier matters of the law: judgment, mercy, and faith. these ought ye to have done and not to leave the other undone.” (matthew 23:23) TOMSON and RAPTUS were briefly conflicted on what to believe about it. so, they studied some more and made sense out of it.

TOMSON documented the following notes in his Journal :

• tithes were given to levities and priests, but they’re no levities and priests now. besides he was pretty sure they belonged to a specific jewish line, and he knew everyone to be gentiles.

 

• when Jesus talked about tithing he was doing so before the new covenant. of course, he kept the law, because he was born under it. when he died and resurrected, the new covenant came into place.

 

• we are not under the old covenant although we can still give cheerfully without the error of forced indoctrination.

 

TOMSON began to see that tithing served several valuable purposes back then, but we are over here now. TOMSON never stop giving but also realized, a lot people did not have much to give. money isn’t easy to come by if you’re living in conditions that are abrasive due to the lack of access. he thought often about the disparities some people could not easily escape, no matter how much faith they were encouraged to have.

“faith and FATE could NOT keep people out of poverty – not if the system that brought them to it is not properly challenged!”

even if they gave the very least of what they had to give. why was the preaching of tithing so important? turns out churches are like houses or as PASTOR GRIN would say “the church is the hospital for the soul”. well, patients must pay for those services or at least the building where those services are given. *you’d think the church would be ran truly socialist instead of PROPHETS PROFITING!*

 

giving cheerfully may mean understanding the requirements of what keeps the lights on, water on, and for the pastor looking like he just arrived at the gates of heaven.

 

“s3w a seed, to reap a harvest!” this message works again because if you tell a story correctly to the right audience, you’ll be paid accordingly. these preachers are professional scammers and pimps because they have scouted what people want. WHAT DO PEOPLE WANT? they want various things because if one can package a people’s desires in a shinny wrapping paper and put a bow around it – they won’t bother to open it to see what’s inside! they would rave about the paper linen first! said TOMSON one day after talking with RAPTUS.

TOMSON began to see that : MOST of the money never went directly to the community but instead to those sitting in the pulpit. TOMSON grew to believe that – HEALTHY policy is part of organizing a civilization. our clothes must be organized correctly just the same. socks for feet. hats for heads. pants for legs. but, what happens when you outgrow your clothes? when your shirt is too small, and your favorite pants are too big for you?

 

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH. 6: CONGREGATIONAL SONG? ALL TOGETHER NOW!)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 4 chapters will resume respectively as follows : 


11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

 

 

“sing along to my tun3!
follow my l3ad!
take caution, l3st you wander off to a m3lody that’s not min3!
hold onto the not3 that i’ll giv3 you :
that’s right!
carry along…
harmoniz3…
stay in the sam3 k3y!
don’t st33r too far!!
i can help you when you’r3 lost!!!
th3s3 l3ssons ar3 only for thos3 willing to stick to th3 not3s!!!!!!
you only g3t this shot and this opportunity isn’t bas3d on luck!
pr3par3 to b3 r3buk3d, when you r3vok3 my instruction !
i’m s3rious about this!
you can’t b3 joking around with your actions!
THIS IS ALL THAT MATT3RS – not your promis3!
how far ar3 you going to go?
D3P3NDS 3NTIR3LY ON MY MOTION!
trav3l light!
& pack with int3ntion!
but you must follow through – on my command!
W3IGHT THE MINUT3!
not too fast !
you ar3n’t following m3 anymor3 –
you’r3 off the lin3!
S33!!!
this is what happ3ns wh3n you don’t AGR33!
you hav3n’t r3ach3d the point of rhym3!
disdain! ord3r – i say! 3h, what3v3r – mak3 your own nois3?!
this c3rtainly has nothing to do with m3 anymor3!?mayb3 that’s how you lik3 it?!!?
– SiNgAlOnG2m3!!!

 

the truth of reconciliation is not always fun, especially when you’re very well versed in damaging behavior. it can be like ink on your hands not easily capable of being washed away with regular soap and water. it always takes more than what we’re willing to put in. sometimes you got to put some elbow grease with it!

 

“lEfT to write ! right to READ! brush to break a part the fat & GREED! UP & DOWN, side to sLiDe – foam through the mix and gLiDe!

take a lease on the GrEaSe – and work to ReLeAsE with no will to ever CeAsE – sauce your elbows and keep the pEaCe !”

GRANNY LIGHT would often tell TOMSON when making pancakes and fish – “You can’t be cute with the flip,.” Which was another way of saying – just get to the bottom of the surface and turn it over.

she wanted TOMSON to be cute with how he laid, the fish down. after seasoning the fish and making sure, the castor oil was hot before putting it in to fry – you needn’t worry about being burned. TOMSON knew the burn would sure nuff come, if he just threw the fish in the skillet as if he were afraid. GRANNY LIGHT, taught him how to lay it down cute. this soon became a lesson in TOMSON’S life, if he were ever going to turn over heads in the church by viewing the world differently, he had to be wild about it or at least cute with it.

TOMSON became quite aware that most of his traditional leanings were having less and less of an effect on himself, but this did not deter him from going back to his hometown in Shreveport, for summer. TOMSON never really liked Albuquerque, mainly because he was mainly missing his friends and the atmosphere of HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL!

While he didn’t agree with most of what they taught back at HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL, he learned how to eat the fish and spit out the bones. they preached a lot about hell and fiery damnation to all of those who did not get right with G-D. He became more and more annoyed at this message because he heard it more than hearing about the love and grace of G-D. in a heated argument with one of his best friends. he was told how Albuquerque was changing him into a more secular form of himself.

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TOMSON never understood why his friend and so many others were so persistent with such an uninviting message about damnation and ‘LIVING HOLY’. It seemed the ONLY people who found that kind of scare tactic message to be of service, were those who were familiar with that kind of cut dry teaching to begin with. the way TOMSON saw it : that message certainly did not increase the membership of HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL, in fact it seemed more people left the church than joined after Hurricane RAYKWAN. when Tomson remarked this to his friend, he said that “the way of holiness is narrow and that while many were called BUT only a few were chosen.”

nonetheless, TOMSON still loved the energy of HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL and some familiar faces we’re happy to see him. TOMSON was getting even more confused by the amount of contradictions that were fully justified at the expense of traditional reliance. people there did not seem to be as confused as he was because they seemed to have more answers for questions. in fact, ‘confusion’ was often frowned upon whenever one admitted to its presence.

 

“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)

TOMSON always heard THIS as a response to any confrontation with confusion. he found it as one of the biggest paradoxes Confusion and Peace seemed to inhabit the same space on more than one occasion. certainly a hurricane and sudden change of pace – would cause some initial confusion, “for the story has yet to be told.” Tomson began to see that both OVERFLOWING RIVERS AND HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL – though they contrast, in some key ways, they simultaneously maintained a business minded structure. 

one in which by pressure, then OBLIGATED them *by doctrinal infallibility* to participate in giving and to do so with JOY ! but at what expense? TOMSON thought! the numb3rs in the bible appeared to reveal themselves in moving form in TOMSON’S life, except only now by specific percentages.

while the fear of hell began to dissolve in the evolution of TOMSON’S growth – another dichotomy of “give and receive” arose. TOMSON remembered eventually giving MOTHER VIRGINA the combination meal he ordered for himself and was told afterward ” G-D is gonna pour you out a blessing, that you won’t have room enough to receive!” while TOMSON smiled at mere poetry of this notion, it was exactly the type of obligation that both OVERFLOWING RIVERS AND HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL justified at various lengths if one would not ONLY give cheerfully but also RESPONSIBLY.

TOMSON AND RAPTUS began the quest of uncovering UNM3RIT3D FAVOR which expanded them beyond the confines of any legalistic appeal of “The CHURCH” and as such – they made it their S3ARCH, to break *and to help other’s break* completely free from any obligation which was tied to a baseless tithe. as it turns out, you could rob G-D – even when under a kN3W COV3NANT.

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH. 5 : TRANSITION OF TRADITION)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 5 chapters will resume respectively as follows : 


11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

When Tomson’s family moved to Albuquerque, everything seemed to naturally change. His family found a new church home called “OVERFLOWING RIVERS” and with a new church meant different ways of how he understood faith. It started with the doctrine known as Eternal Security. A doctrine that claims once you’re SAVED, you’re ALWAYS saved (OSAS).

This stood in stark contrast to HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL which emphasized one could loose their salvation – if not committed to works made to maintain a holy life. 

He was most drawn to OSAS because of his fascination with time and the idea of eternity and most importantly, eternal love that could not be disturbed. Tomson often thought : “If G-D loved me, would this last forever or was forever contingent, based on how good he performed in his everyday life?”

It made sense to Tomson that once receiving a gift of salvation, he’d always have this gift for life. It couldn’t be forged by personal behavior, in fact why would you even want to live a life of sin, after experiencing the best gift known? That was until Tomson came across Hebrews 6:4-6 : 

“For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted the heavenly gift, and have become partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, if they fall away, to renew them again to repentance, since they crucify again for themselves the Son of God, and put Him to an open shame.”

This was the scripture his Father used a leverage to the idea one can lose their salvation. At first glance, it made perfect sense. One could eat from the delights of enlightenment and then fall away. He debated this to his father faithfully “But it’s not true! He’d claim.” The bible also says in 1 John 2:19 “They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.” Tomson kept wrestling scripture with his Dad and peers for what felt like a very long time. he could not understand how people could read the same bible and take completely different meanings from the chapters and verses.

*”I heard somebody say: DiFfReNt LeNs, dIfFeRenT pEns!”*

This only encouraged Tomson to rebel even further. Why would he let anyone convince him otherwise? especially, when these mountains of clay could quickly be turned into a rock, castle, or a lumpy hassle! OVERFLOWING RIVERS was a vastly different experience from HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL. For starters, they did not seem so hung up on the Traditions Tomson knew to be common.

At HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL – Women were encouraged to wear dresses and never trousers/pants *if she did have pants on, judgement was quickly disposed to her*. She better not have any red or colored lipstick or fingernail polish either. At OVERFLOWING RIVERS in Albuquerque – these rules seemed to go out the pulpit. The people dressed as they liked and seemed to not care about how others perceived them, for their relationship with G-D was more important than the traditional customs others were accustomed to. 

The pastor was very vibrant and had a scream so loud, you’d think he could part the red sea with it. He always claimed, “God gave Moses his rod and he gave me my SCREAM!” The strength of his voice was reasoned with his ability to also teach in such a calm manner. As much as Tomson loved seeing people dance and shout to the music, he loved even more the teachings of the bible in a clear but humors dictation which fancied Pastor’s SCREAMER style of preaching.

FLASHBACK: 

While Tomson’s Family was always a religious family that went to church as often as three times a week in SHREVEPORT, much of that changed in Albuquerque. Just before Hurricane RAYKWAN struck, The local pastor and Bishop of their jurisdiction died suddenly at the start of the year. It was a huge blow for HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL.

Bishop and Pastor GRIN was a very charismatic and Holiness preacher who had very clear beliefs surrounding the way of holiness, but Tomson remembers him as a man with one of the biggest grins you could witness. Maybe that’s why his family tree gave him his ‘Grin’. His wife had one of the most tender voices that warmed you just by hearing her. Thus, his passing started a series of revivals which remained up until Hurricane RAYKWAN hit in August.

Tomson’s father was an Elder in the church who would sometimes preach whenever he was called upon. When Bishop GRIN died, his father was crushed and very distraught after his passing. It being one of the first and only times – Tomson remembers seeing tears in his fathers eyes. When moving to Albuquerque, his father made a clear declaration that he would never join another church again but start his own. It didn’t help that when the family decided to attend OVERFLOWING RIVERS for the first time : there was a woman sitting in the pulpit. Tomson remembers his father whispering to his Mum, that this was the last time he’d ever attend OVERFLOWING RIVERS.

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Thinking about that day really astounded Tomson, to realize his father was sat THAT far back in his ways. His dad studied the bible consistently. Tomson would nickname him “YELLOW JOURN” because he’d always read through the yellow legal pad notes alongside with his bible AND Tomson reckoned his bible was heavier than usual, because it was weighted down with all of the yellow highlighters. YELLOW JOURN always had his HUGE black bible with scattered notes and highlighters on a desk and would read constantly. He was a walking bible that could quote a scripture directly from memory, if someone had said something that reminded him of the scripture. *Strictly KING JAMES* – he stayed armed and ready to defend what he believed and could show you where to find it IN THE TEXT!

Shortly, after moving to Albuquerque – YELLOW JOURN went about the business of being a pastor. He’d rent plaza spaces in the local city and started to hand out programs in the streets. Tomson’s mother, 2 sisters, and brother RAPTUS, would join him for a few Sundays until eventually his sisters stopped going completely. His sisters were much older than TOMSON AND RAPTUS and as such, lived their own lives quite quickly especially as Sunday were concerned.

Tomson preferred going to OVERFLOWING RIVERS rather than his father’s church because it was something new and there was a huge choir with a great organ player. Which meant more dancing and a good feeling! At his Father’s Church : THE WORD TEMPLE there was no organ player or choir – mostly just his mother and brother save a few other guests from time to time.

this was a time : wherein Tomson also was hearing conflicting bible approaches. YELLOW JOURN being the strict holiness or hell preacher found the influence of Pastor SCREAMER, incredibly heretic. “You shouldn’t let them go to that church, they are preaching all kinds of things that doesn’t align to how we were taught” YELLOW JOURN would say to his wife MISSIONARY ‘LIVION *** Lo and behold – Tomson’s grandmother GRANNY LIGHT was the one who eased the peace as she preferred going to OVERFLOWING RIVERS. 

She loved the community of people there and how they showed a lot of grace after knowing the family were victims of Hurricane RAYKWAN. GRANNY LIGHT wasn’t too keen in joining THE WORD TEMPLE – which was only recently just starting out in a hotel lobby at the time. She wanted to go somewhere where people knew her, and she made friends quickly.

It became a fixed order of meet and greet for Tomson and his brother RAPTUS. both of them waking up at 8:00 AM on Sundays for their father’s Sunday Service at 9:00 only then to leave right around 11:30 to pick up their GRANNY LIGHT and take her to OVERFLOWING RIVERS just in time for Mid-Day service at 12:00 PM. This became quite the routine, but Tomson was happy for it to suspend because he and RAPTUS – really started to challenge what their Father was preaching. It frustrated Tomson that his approach to the bible was so black and white despite the many highlighters which made him YELLOW

They stood up to him both, about the delivery of his message. They thought he was too tough and he very rarely preached the love of G-D. Being very tired of hearing about hell, fire and brimstone. They wanted to know about the gifts of the spirit that bred love and compassion. But YELLOW JOURN didn’t like them constantly challenging him and eventually told them they didn’t have to come to his church if they didn’t want to. 

Much of his delight and theirs, they would just wait until 12:00PM to go and pick up GRANNY LIGHT and head over to OVERFLOWING RIVERS. Everything was changing and Tomson was becoming more aware about the present urges in his body and mind. However, he was wrestling with fear like never before. He’ll never forget the one moment as a child that jumpstarted the fears he had about going to hell, which happened only a year before.

After one Sunday School at FIRE ON THE HILL there was often food you could purchase at the back of the church. They served burgers, fries, and cold drinks! Tomson always looked forward for Sunday School to be over, so he could eat a great lunch. He’d walk over to GRANNY LIGHT and asked her for 2.50$ so he could get a combination meal. GRANNY LIGHT always seemed to feel quite generous as she gave Tomson a 2-dollar bill and two quarters. 

Tomson walked over to the counter and ordered his food. After calling his name to pick up the order, MOTHER VIRGINIA noticed him and asked Tomson if he could buy HER a burger and fries. *THIS WAS SURELY A TEST OF HIS FAITH!!!* Tomson reluctantly, told her he only had enough for himself. MOTHER VIRGINIA then proceeded to tell him : “That G-D loves a cheerful giver and if he were not happy to give – he might land into HELL with gasoline underwear!!!” Tomson began to visualize this picture in his mind and it was THAT G-D which seemed to always be angry. 

Tomson not long after this moment, wanted nothing more than to be informed and taught all of what he should do to please G-D. Therefore, he studied different doctrines and statements of faith – trying to understand the intention behind such convictions. He followed his father’s YELLOW JOURN footsteps and started to write down notecards of bible verses and studied doctrines and differences heavily. So much in fact, that he started getting a mild reputation for being a preacher around his school in Albuquerque. 

Tomson held a passionate EISEGESIS approach // which is one that leads INTO the text whatever you wish to make out of it. This seemed to be largely everyone’s approach to stories anyway. One that imagines and creates whatever the MINISTER wants to bring out of it. It wasn’t until they moved to Albuquerque – until Tomson understood the opposite of EISEGESIS – EXEGESIS, a method which leads OUT OF the text. 

Tomson had a greater understanding of how easily one can be misled by whatever the SINISTER decides to spin on scripture. He loved going to bible studies on Wednesday because Pastor SCREAMER became TEACHER WHISPER as well and would just talk to the congregation about various topics. Often challenging ideas which were commonly believed at FIRE ON THE HILL. (Could it be that the OVERFLOWING RIVERS DROWNED OUT THE FIRE ON THE HILL INSIDE?) 

Tomson began to realize his traditions were transitory – as such his voice was a part of a much greater congregation! A song was soon encouraged to be sang, but this time? in unison!

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH.4 : TELL HIM YES)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 6 chapters will resume respectively as follows : 


11.7.2020 // 11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

Tomson’s life looks completely different now than it did when he was a child growing up in Shreveport, Louisiana. (No surprise there!) Tomson came from a family of five, being the youngest – he grasped the world around him very easily. 

He was in for a journey about thrills and fills – If you follow along with this brief account, you’ll certainly be in for one too! He remembered a lot from his childhood but undeniably what sticks out the most is the repetition of events. Tomson and his family went to church so frequently, if he were to miss it for a day it felt very strange. SUNDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY FRIDAY – This was not any kind of church but a church where miracles were demonstrated in unexplainable phenomena. 

Tomson belonged to a pentecostal and holiness church, wherein the members believed in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. From making the blind see, the deaf to hear, and speaking in unknown tongues. They’d wait before the altar for hours just for the glory of The Lord to enter the room and fill everyone all up. The colors of the organ were as bright as the voices that cried from the congregation begging everyone in the building to “TELL HIM YES”. 

When the anointing would come into the church – anything could happen from scribbles on the floor to foaming at the mouth. As far as Tomson knew, the anointing was the power that could make someone break out into a dance, cry, or even run around the church as if they were running a marathon. Some consider it “getting happy for the Lord”. It was always an unexpected series of hysteria, but it felt good as far as Tomson knew. It was almost like a drug that could intoxicate and induce hallucinations of visions and dreams. All you needed to do was tune into the vibration of the people around.  

What seemed to be the goal was to be baptized with the Holy Ghost, which was a sacred and expected gift to desire after you were saved. If you committed your life to Jesus – why not want the gift of the Holy Spirit? It was free and given to all of those who asked for it. At Tomon’s Church ” HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL ” they believed that waiting for the power to endow you was worth the sweat and big breasted women yelling in your face to ‘*TELL HIM YES: Say Yes! Yes! Yes!” *

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At no point did it cross Tomson’s mind that ‘NO’ could even be an option* (also why would one say no to something that made you joyful?) he remembered being in front of the altar in tears because he felt a rhythm in his body that he could not explain. Church for him, was more than the shouting, singing, communion, and then hearing The Word. The word that was sharper than any two-edged sword meant to divide the wrong and right in his life. This word would enter his psyche deep and early and became the dance floor where all his soul was expressed and revealed.

For all of the dancing and shouting, HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL was still incredibly focused on proper memorization of doctrine and scripture. The Statement of Faith, The B-Attitudes, The 10 Commandments, were all expected to be fully memorized and repeated upon request from the leading missionaries and Elders. Tomson never had any problem remembering them *even at the tender age at 12*, though he did not understand the fullness of what they meant.

The preachers and teachers made sure the church knew that everything in life had a foundation and reason behind them. Simply put: It was either holiness or hell the way they saw it. Thereby, you had to be willing to separate yourself from everybody else – cuz you ain’t like nobody else! YOU ARE THE HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL AFTERALL! You BETTER get right or you’re going to get LEFT when the Rapture comes! While, Tomson loved the idea of the rapture, he was also very astounded by such capture. It was written in such poetic pose : “In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.” 

Tomson liked to imagine the dead rising out of their tombstones like zombies. people would eventually realize why his family always danced and went to church four times a week! it would not prove them in vain! Tomson strived like so many others in his church to be Holy. he always heard : “BE HOLY FOR I AM HOLY”. He had to make sure he was READY for when the rapture was to occur which could be at any time. 

Without a warning, like a thief in the night. It could happen while sneaking into the living room to watch BET Uncut or when he was surfing the internet about things that turned him on. Tomson was scared and thrilled at the idea that we could all be caught up in the rapture. After all, the rapture is ‘The Blessed Hope’ this is what all true believers wanted to happen. it would finally be A day of justice. The Day of Reckoning.

A time where everyone would be separated. The sheep from the goats. His understanding of right and wrong became very polarizing. He just knew always in the back of his mind and deep in his heart : there was an expectation set for him. He was told by a prophet once, that he had a mission to complete. And he believed that mission would save him, giving him all of the necessary determination to reach his destiny.

Tomson had a purpose at an early age after becoming saved at 12 years old, he felt driven inside. Tomson felt he was saved because he remembered crying, after feeling a sensation come over him upon memories of light. He felt in his heart of hearts that he really meant YES AND JESUS WAS LORD. of course not knowing, why – he was crying or why eventually saying YES to this Lord– he still believed, better than to say yes than no, after all he did not want to go to hell.

Although, the idea of hell never made much sense to Tomson. Everyone at HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL made a big deal about how it was so nice to see a young boy receive Jesus at such an early age. Tomson was not alone, his brother RAPTUS and some close friends at FIRE ON THE HILL we’re on the same road to holiness. They all shared similar experiences. Crying before the alter and telling him ‘YES’. They knew how it felt to be anointed and the power that went in our veins making us dance and speak in unknown languages. They were the victims of rigorous revivals that reminded them of the importance of staying faithful in a world filled with temptation. 

Speaking of temptation, Tomson noticed his flesh was changing. It started at 11, and at the dawn of adolescence and while it’s proclaimed, “The flesh is weak, but the spirit is willing”. *His flesh felt anything but weak only just as *IF NOT STRONGER THAN HIS SPIRIT*. He was too young to navigate the extremity of what these feelings were about and too old and stubborn to do something against them. Eventually he would soon find the answer…

He just knew a lot was changing and he had to respond to those changes with something stronger than just saying YES to whatever they were telling him to say yes to. Why was HE saying ‘Yes’ this whole time? Would it have been better for him to say no? 

Some would say, Tomson was young and naïve to believe all this information without the will to question it. One reason he said Yes was due to the urgency of the leaders around him. He figured they meant well (they always had peppermints and candy after service). But the more he waited before the altar something was happening. He started to feel bumps on his skin. Tomson knew the ‘anointing’ had not only come into the room but onto him. He didn’t realize what he had tapped into. The more he explored the ‘YES’ he realized some of what he was saying yes to : deserved a solid NO.

Before he set out to explore on these intense changes, life offered its own natural change in the form of one of the most disastrous hurricanes no one expected, Hurricane RAYKWAN which hit that later that summer. Tomson’s family evacuated to various places until they settled in Albuquerque, New Mexico. At the heels of all these changes, his ideas surrounding what he believed had a significant change. Thoughts change upon new information and since processing new information at such a rapid speed – something had to be done with the various bites of knowledge he had encumbered. The rapture indeed came in a form of transition which bled what Tomson understood as traditional…

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE! (CH. 3) : WORLDS WITHIN THE WORLD

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 7 chapters will resume respectively as follows:
// 10.21.2020 //

11.7.2020 // 11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

 

 

what’s true is that WE live in the world. this is a large world when you contextualize the enormity of the milky way (100,000–120,000 light-years in diameter and about 1,000 light-years thick, but up to 400 billion stars are located within it) earth is stuck in the milky way and we’re living in world with billions of other organisms. when you factor where law and order come into place, morality starts to feel like a joke. not only that, but everyone has different versions of morality, some say they’re in on a BIG secret.

one way i explain ‘Belief’ to people would be me liking to the process of belief to play-doh. the funny kind of slime which becomes anything you want it to be according to your imagination. you can make an intricate mansion filled with the most expensive chandeliers and tile flooring or a shack with busted windows with belief. it could either be THIS or THAT.

it’s been estimated people lie on average about a hundred times per day. why is this? it could be fear, cynicism, poor self-image, societal norms, and a host of many other things. what does this say about the nature of our world?

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WORLDSWITHINTHEWORLD

next time you hear someone tell you that “you live in your own world!”. tell them YES and so do you! i have always seen conversation as not only ‘paradise’ but a very a shakeable world. this is a world we must always engage within because we can’t live for too long alone without talking to someone else or wanting company.

the more you talk to people – you expose yourself to other galaxies and perspectives which are not held by your hands. somebody who talks to a lot of people not only expands their worldview, but create a space for self-reflection. it’s extremely important to point out the flawed veils we use to hide our true faces.

religion, politics, and overall systems in general respond to their own rules embedded in those particular said systems.

*so, talk to me human being. i don’t always want to hear what your doctrine says. i want to know what your heart says.*

we can already see where someone is going when they reveal to you, an window of their worldview. if someone tells you early that they are a vegan, recommending them to a spicy chicken joint isn’t useful to them. this of course, does not mean that they won’t use that opportunity to remind you why you should not eat chicken or meat at all for that matter.

so, choose your battles wisely. if someone believes we are all doomed but unable to talk to strangers unless they are warning them of damnation – who can talk to someone with that kind of assurance of indignation directed towards them?

there remains a market for selling fear. by making people afraid then telling them afterwards: “here is the answer! trust in this! give your life to this! believe in this and you will be saved!” while this is some people’s rhetoric – it’s also religion at large. since we’re all walking around with our fears about society, this fear can be exploited in favor of alien medicine.

medicine that does not attempt to solve the root behind the issue. fear can still be a helpful emotion, to navigate through the wilderness but better when it’s via fearlessness! we all go through the wilderness at some point and some do not walk with us among the trees. how many of us are living lonely? probably a large percentage of us! whether it’s feeling like a stranger in your own home or incomplete when provided with all the resources to succeed.

loneliness is often seen as an infection that spreads through every bodily and mental function. it also can feel like the biggest form of irony when you think of how surrounded we are on this planet. there is no shortage of NOUNS but it doesn’t remove the resounding emptiness that often visits us.

loneliness is also a symptom of depression. while you don’t have to be clinically depressed to be lonely, studies suggest that those who are depressed often feel lonely. throughout life, loneliness is unpredicted but nonetheless sure. there is no full rhyme or reason for it – but it happens at a cost far too unbearable. loneliness is a knock that comes at your garden gate. it’s a brutal knock that always feels uninvited when it arrives. sorrow is made known by reduction and emotion lingers from the heart. this isolation is an inadequate room completely colored by tears and memories which beg for company.

“why did you have to leave me all alone?” this sense of loneliness is encouraged when those close to us – seem to be so far removed from our company. this embrace is one that must happen alone. the departure of acquaintance – leaves us all here on earth with sudden surprise. the clouds steady move and change form. what is it that you see in the clouds anyway?

are elephants high up above or are seahorses standing in an ice cream cone? do you see eye glasses or wheels from a tow truck?

the alphabet of the clouds are spoken by transitions which you can’t keep up with. (they change all the time, silly!) the same things which connect are the very threads which alienate. it’s amazing how glue can also halt a connection from continuing. the same people who are found in your community are the ones that can be distant to you upon changing transitions.

i’m thinking of the church here, it serves as a community of people intended to encourage and build around the gifts of the people. the church, however: remains a social club which presumes to accept everyone *at the moment* of their membership. after a while, their conviction is then challenged based on the testament of faith. the moment you go against the current – the waves then silence you to the alter of prayer. “i’ll pray for you” to repentance but if one doesn’t turn away from *backsliding* – sooner or later they’ll be banished or ostracized completely for not changing their ways for the faith. 

the one thing that brought you to the church is then intended to be removed from you, the moment you continue in your sinful ways. they’ll continually pray for you though – because they believe you can conquer the stumbling block in your way.

in the following chapters : i will unpack various accounts experienced through the lens of a child growing up in a saved, sanctified, and holy-ghost filled background! The quest soon began for Tomson and whether the word from the Donkey came from God or from what was considered Wrong? Was it a typo or his faith which led him to his fate?!

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH.2 : DIFFERENT LENS, DIFFERENT PENS)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 8 chapters will resume respectively as follows:

10.14.2020 // 10.21.2020 //

11.7.2020 // 11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

where do homeless people get their sharpies? i reckon the cardboard and boxes are easy to find from dumpsters and surrounding trash on the streets, but sharpies are not as common as a pen. i asked someone on hope postponed avenue and they wondered the same sentiment. telling me, they’d usually just borrow the sharpies another homeless person had. sometimes asking strangers coming into stores to buy for them. one story they shared with me was being on a Walgreens corner and asking a stranger walking into the store for a pack of sharpies. to their surprise She came back with sharpies, cardboard, scissors, sticky notes, paper clips, staplers and glue. after receiving the bag of goods, they replied to the customer “damn, i ain’t in an art and crafts class! i’m just trying to create a billboard for some snacks and cigarettes but thank you anyway – i may find this useful!” i’m not sure if they meant it as some cruel joke or what – bringing them all those materials, but i’ll never forget that story! you can use any of those tools to help provide a path for access.

transformations are never as cut dry as the media would have you believe. it takes time, and this isn’t a blink like we are led to conclude. this idea that transformation is instant like oatmeal is misleading and distorting the true chain of alchemy. it takes time and several series of transformations. one can not always prepare for the swift and sudden appearances of change.

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meeting new people is probably one of the easiest ways to calculate how swiftly their impact on your life changes you. what was it like when you first met your best friend? or your loved ones? you usually remember how your life was like before they came into it and how it changed after their appearance. people have an amazing ability to influence and even at times – shift your behavior for the better or for the worst. 

there is a common phrase i grew up hearing. “evil company corrupts good morals” which was another way of saying that good people who hang out with evil people can corrupt their behavior. “come out from among them and be separate, says the lord and i’ll receive you!” (2 corinthians 6:17) there’s a slight justification in this comparison but it requires a bit more understanding as to not be accepted at face value. for one, hanging out with someone who writes differently from you or speaks differently doesn’t equate to corruption. it’s one thing hanging out with someone who has similar interests and a common foundation. for instance, it could be very hard to be friends with someone who speaks a different language than you or has different cultural norms. unless the both of you are willing to learn how to communicate and understand why one has a different approach.

new insight springs different ways of thinking about things you probably wouldn’t be able to conjure up on your own. different lens, different pens. while this much seems obvious, it’s often forgotten through our interactions with people and the host of stories they carry with them. i would always hear while growing up in the church “don’t judge nobody because you never know what they’re going through” yet there was judgement for people who did things they believed were sinful. 

it’s true we don’t know what someone is going through or what they went through which led them to that point. we’re all like animals in Noah’s ark pretending our shit doesn’t stink like the one next to us. people come with a host of ideas engineered by complex functions that most of us will never uncover completely.

it’s very typical of humans; to make judgements on our interactions with strangers (or even friends) but it’s another game completely, to vocalize our misunderstandings in a way that exempts us from the same rules of judgement. 

people just want to make sense, we often neglect that work it takes to get to understanding. it takes work to be a scientist, but you don’t have to study the stars from a telescope to understand their light and distance. most people really want to get to the bottom of what you are saying. the top may be hard to get, but the foundation *while invisible to most eyes*, still deserve investigative research. the less you say? the better!

people don’t always expect performance but your behavior is what tells people the destination of your words.which is why we must perform! the unexpected wallowing wow is what guarantees the right now. live in it. breathe in it. listen to the moment, when the moment is yours. you are always going to be thinking in your mind. people will also take what they want to take from what you say.

to some degree, we all have selective hearing – hearing what we want to hear or at least what we wish to deal with. *using our utensils ever so gently cutting away the regenerative necessity  while savoring the fat.* those bits and pieces do make sense to the story in our head if even for a moment. when getting to the truth – we got to get through the lines.

the lines AIN’T ALWAYS EASY to uNdErStAnD which is why we *LIKE Jesus did* swirl with our fingers in the SaNd. while seemingly ignoring the accusers but actively writing N2 the gRoUnD. it appears as if there was no volume or SoUnD. EvEnTuAlLy n’ EsSeNtIaLlY – you arrive at the point where you dialectically challenge the ScReAMeR & that is not even the w0rSt : they will STILL command you to water their ThRiSt! we needn’t bow down in dIsTaStE regarding what others perceive as WaStE! if somebody got something to SaY? welcome them to your gallery, without dElAy! we all have all kinds of cool shit on our walls and CeIlING. enough to make them find aw3, introspection and even hEaLiNg! if they want to know the context behind the colors you choose to DiSpLaY alongside with the shapes that you decide to geometrically oUtWeIgH? if they are ever so curious, about your choice of FrAmInG and where the goal post to your composition is aImInG? may you spread down the red carpet of opportunity and when the cameras start flashing in their FaCE? sign their purchased copy of your embedded gRaCe! ! !

Riddle Me That?!

 

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This project stems from the implications, questions, and declarations found in conversation. When talking to someone, we are reminded how often we miss the point of what was said. I liken ‘Riddle Me That?’ to a narrated mini-cartoon series with the protagonist being a question mark (?) and the antagonist an exclamation mark (!).

If you would like to support this project – CLICK HERE and purchase it for 7.00$ or subscribe to my Patreon. I appreciate your investment, incredibly!

To fully enjoy this, it is recommended that you listen closely otherwise you’ll just hear a bunch of people talking without full context.

And what’s the point of that anyway?

Noise and Music essentially are the same thing but they are not. Noise flows in and out of consciousness. Music is something different and we all recognize that difference. The tone and structure of a musical chord can be bent in fascinating ways. How often do we pay attention to the things that are said? In other words: are we getting Shookie or are we getting flat in how we communicate? 

Studies suggest that as a society we are talking less to each other but more through the projection of social media. We got a long way to go, but we are closer to the destination when we condense what we are saying. Getting lost in the sauce means saying things that may not be registered. However, the beauty of a question is that it stands to expect a reply. We don’t always have the proper answer, but the search for meaning carries throughout our longing to find out.

Recurring reasons provide enough evidence to suggest – what was there all along was JUST around the corner. We use symbols and parallels (parables even) to help explain our points in clever ways. We don’t always “get through”. Sometimes we have to Zoom, Inwardly.

Do you often find yourself rewinding past conversations? How often do we miss the various ‘signs’ people are giving? Ever heard someone say “that would be like saying XYZ” or “that was a red flag…”. Everything in conversation is a symbol but at the same time, nothing should be taken too seriously.

I created these scripts in the effort of acknowledging the various ways we are in conflict yet in harmony with one another. It’s a comedy! It was also a challenge to myself to do something different yet familiar.

(THERE’S A JUSTIFICATION FOR ANYTHING THAT’S THE REAL RIDDLE! HAHA!)

So, What’s the point of all the scrips? The conversation? The chatter in the background? Why are you reading? WHY AM I WRITING? To these questions – the answer remains that:

“Some are willing to unravel the parallel.”

*This project was created using 3 tools of productivity (excluding imagination)*

Audacity (Free Online Program)

Tascam DR-05 (Audio Recorder)

Laptop (But of course)

I don’t have much but what I had was enough to make this! Riddle Me that!? It’s my hope you can get something out of it. ❤

Termination // Preparation

*The following script, is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…” which is due for release at the beginning of 2019.

Parpar: This is going to be an astronomical disaster I say we cancel it before it gets out of hand.

Terminus: But we’ve already invested so much in the lighting, props, ice, food and making sure everything is as you wanted it.

Parpar: Did you hear what I just said? Cancel the whole thing. Terminate the entire process. Put it to an end.

Terminus: Ok, I’ll order a cancel, but you do realize this may cost you way more than you might be able to afford.

Parpar: Wait now. How much we talking?

Terminus: Well seeing as we’ve already maximized our budget and the guests have already been notified, the event is already booked. The costs would be at least triple to reimburse every party involved.

Parpar: Let me get this correct, you planned according to the implication that all would go according to plan? You did not leave room for a clause of termination? Sounds like to me, I hired the wrong business to handle my affairs cuz shit happens.

Terminus: Yes, but if you read the contract you’d see clearly where terminations are validated up until 72 hours before the event. If you told me this 2 days ago, we’d have no problems processing this at no expense to yourself or of our partners. At any rate, we can still do this, but you’d have to pay 3 times as much.

Parpar: I guess we can keep it going but if my guests are disappointed then it would reflect your business dealings rather than mine since your name is plastered on all the banners and props. They won’t look to me to blame; my name is nowhere to be found in any of the setups.

Terminus: So, we are to blame for your unorganized mess?

Parpar: Who said this would be unorganized? My mess follows a structured chaos. It won’t appear out of nowhere. One thing will lead into another – like a gradual ascension into calamity. Once the ice melts on the dance floor, people will start slipping and so forth, it’ll be a specific course of a shit storm.

Terminus: You plan on things being that bad? How do you even know it’ll be that bad? What evidence supports this flow of your madness?

Parpar: Well, maybe if you asked me – WHY I wanted to terminate this whole process we could already establish what can be done to prevent my worry? Instead, you reminded me to follow the madness wherever it goes. So never mind the cancel or the triple fee I’d have to pay. I’ll just let it follow the sequence of events and if people end up hurt and disappointed – it won’t say nothing on me.

Terminus: You aren’t seeing how you are the orchestrator of all this mess? You don’t care about putting people in harm’s way? What do you stand to benefit? To be the mad scientist behind the destruction of all your guest’s experiences? I suppose we can cut the cancellation fee out of the picture altogether.

Parpar: See, even your company is interested in preserving your future businesses. We can all eat our cake and ice cream if it means us not looking bad. It was a pleasure doing business with you!

TERMINATION – PREPARATION // TERMINUS – PARPAR

Pain Heartbreak Then You Read

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I have read many books and have looked at too much recent history, to think this country was ever really great. // The origin of this country is really nationalistic for barbaric reasons. Slavery, Genocide, and capitalism. These things have been so normal to me – sometimes I have to remind myself I am actually living in a place TAKEN from Native Americans. Slaves (some are actually in my bloodlines) worked day in and day out and DID not get paid for their labor. We were instead raped, isolated, cut off from our families, and indoctrinated to believe “slaves were to obey their masters”. We were not actually considered human beings under law. While these things seem so long ago they aren’t and we are still living through the trauma of these atrocities. So no. I can’t think this country is great when the numbers speak for themselves. Reading the story connects the reality why my face curves when people talk about THIS GREAT COUNTRY. 😀

We’re Flattered! Gone Like Scarlett!

I’m gone with the Wind! Except the wind won’t take me back to Terra like it took Scarlet! You heard me homie! 😀 Headed to my new home in Minneapolis Minnesota! 1|7|2015 – I declare LIFE for my body so that I won’t freeze to DEATH OUT there! Seems like I’ll be traveling on the coldest day so far this season. For all my friends; who never wished me farewell before I left Texas. I wish you all love and peace in the universe. I know we’ll meet again somewhere… Somehow! Living in Texas is like eating a bowl of soup with a fork. Let’s just say Minnesota is also a city of Utensil making (Like New Orleans), the endless opportunities arise. It’s gonna be like a trampoline for me. I’m ready to JUMP!

I can’t help but feel like a plural instead of singular. I feel connected with other forces within me. The last time I went to Minnesota I felt this harmony and it brought out a poem that related to this power.

We’re Harmony
We’re stunned
We’re flattered
We’re glad…

We’re excited…
We’re mad
We’re jovial
We’re all of the pronunciation of emotion!

I take from you as you have taken from me. We are a whole – a being of organism intended to form a design that is fragile. In an instant, we are cut by ourselves – spilt apart like the membrane of an explosion in the cell. Information that brings forth questions that remain inert.

Yet the remaining ‘I’ is left unresolved.

Knew individuals are released at higher crescendos…now the WE becomes a stronger effect.

By the faulty prisms of our infrastructures, we float through the union together.  We all at once are alienated but pieced together by the sound of persuasion.

The pores in which we hear a dynamic of melody. Harmonizing together are we told by the forces installed.

Meeting Prince For The First Time (3 YEARS AGO)


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I was going through some old blog posts, and I found a blog where I discussed meeting him in a dream. Three Years ago exactly today, I wrote a blog about meeting Prince. This was right at the start of my Prince adventure. I did not know hardly anything about his albums, sure I knew some information about his stand on the music industry, but not much more about him, I really knew. THAT all changed when I saw him on the BET Awards in 2010. He looked familiar but also someone who I had no idea where he came from. I remember they honored him, and he stood out to me. Almost like somebody who I was going to meet and that happens to me sometimes. NO. I am not this meditative weirdo, stalking person around because I feel a ‘Connection’. HA! BUT sometimes you can recognize a past, present, or future presence that has not fulfilled themselves in the moment you remembered them. AND when the truth sounds like a memory, it’s meant to be right? (Prince is not the truth, but he is a medium I met in time and space, that I dreamed about conversing withMind you three years ago, a lot in my life was very different. I just got out of High school and straight into my first serious relationship. It was also a time where I studied and became deeper into the sharing of the ‘Gospel’ my interpretive illustration of this, is funny to read again, but even more amazing, to know some of it came true, and the rest may possibly be in the works? WHO KNOWS? THIS was before my YouTube Channel. Long before I knew anything about Prince’s prolific nature of an artist. I guess you can say, I had never heard more than 7 FULL songs by Prince. Nevertheless, I wrote this:

“I just had the craziest dream! That, I just met Prince in person! I’m sure this was caused by the BET awards 2010. Not only did I meet him, but I shared with him the gospel of Jesus Christ! Lol. It was spectacular!  He had the same outfit he wore at the BET awards, & he started to cry, & we were just rejoicing in God! And I shared with you all, how & where I met him on Tumblr in the dream. I don’t know why I had this dream, and I don’t know why I’m sharing it with you all! Haha. (Maybe because I did in the dream?..lol) But it’s one of those things that rarely happens to me. I’ve always admired Prince & his talent. The fact that he’s a mysterious person, changing his name to a symbol. His style and extreme lean to a sexually provocative message. The guy is a mystery. He has so many sides to him, he believes his music should be controlled by him since he wrote & produced it all. Therefore, you won’t find hardly ANY youtube videos with him and his craft there, because currently, he believes the world should not see this or listen to them, without his sole permission. So now, it’s not easy to get a hold of Prince & his previous music videos and live performances. He’s a changed man, who’s very much consumed in his faith. I respect him very much, I don’t know what persuaded me to tell you this? BUT. There’s one thing the world can’t deny: The ongoing transformation & mystery of Prince. I feel we’ll never know until slowly he reveals something new! Prince is the man, though! His influence has reached millions!” -Jestereye7x – (6.29.10. https://tinyurl.com/yapbouqh

I find this post so incredible, because who would have ever thought I would actually get a chance to meet him? Sure, I did not talk about Faith and God, (Not at length anyway) but we did meet, and talking to him at all was literally a dream that came true. I’ve learned so much more about Prince since three years and I realize that he is a one of a kind, artist. Still glad for the knowledge and the mutual understanding and respect I have for his craft. Three years, later, I’ve grown to see his many changes and his constant musical serenades. He constantly reinvents himself and he is a teacher to me. SCHOOL IS IN PEOPLE.  Prince is cool, blessed to realize the metamorphoses and kept stories to tell!