CALENDAR VOCATION

the metrics upon my thoughts
land
in a planned dream
you appeared in a multicolored dress
i confess: it was tempting when you came my way
in the midnight gray
when you suspected my thoughts were distant
reminded of our touch
which subconsciously i missed very much
even as long ago weeps for a much desired sleep
action is misplaced on the table of distant seas
waters placing us a part
while the heart attempts to start
my standing still wishes for you to move near
to alarm my every symphony so that my vision can hear
the word spoken back then, i still understood
when we lived in the same neighborhood
i neglected the requested chance
i was too nervous to dance
embarrassed by your movements and step
i kept all my rhythm enclosed
until the water flowed to the seeds, i then arose froze
but dripping to the splendid occasion
wherein this invasion became translucent
(upon the metrics of these same thoughts : this summary of a melodic swoon
my fullness was regarded as the moon
walking like mj backwards to the stolen tune
yet we sang with fascination, admiration
& rightful sensation! (memories restores faith and hope; the contradiction in this is that : memories needn’t be rushed to be created.)

RIGHTEOUS SCANDAL

the sigh that lent unspoken words, no one has ever heard. whispered prose which stirred sought to answer the blank space.

Featuring a scandal made righteous:

come here! You righteous scandal, I think you are a bit more to handle!

But I’m willing to catch you, if you stand in the way of getting got.

cuz’ you’re smoking hot _ I rather be denied than to not be given any chance.

to imagine of our sweaty dance – it may be a proven “righteous scandal.”

a candle much too hot, that soon it’ll burning.

melting by the woe of learning.

how can’t eye see? what’s lit up right in front of me.

I have no choice according to the inner doubting voice.

but my eyes clothes with fashionable express, textures and buttons draped with incomparable dress.

a feeling I can’t compare, as your colors endeavor to void the unfair.

if given the opportunity , I’d renew my immunity

to refrain from the masquerade in order for a fair trade N2 a memorial street, even with callused feet – I’ll greet your direction to a formulated and poetic perfection. (even if it meant potential rejection!)

your bounce is far to like jelly. it’s making me realize why eye turn off the telly.

choosing to instead read what lies in between.

as nuance reveals what all of it may mean…

like a multi-colored photo book, my mind is far too curious to NOT look.

those succulent thighs, make me yawn thirst trapping sighs.

natural to my instinct , I can’t help but think into a deep fantasy.

basically? my testimony is a desired ceremony in a transitional rhapsody !

featuring both you and I congregated together in full supply…

WTM! TOF?

“Those that have an Ear, let them Hear!”

i find it curious, that when folks check in on you, they continue with wonder: “how have you been? what have you been up too? long time no talk too, what’s been happening?” however, those same people can’t / wouldn’t / haven’t – taken anytime to press play to engage in your latest creation.

🤔🧐🤨

if you want the message to relay; indeed all you need to do is press play and LISTEN! (i would really appreciate your feedback / criticisms especially if you make it through the whole thing!

this project was originally released 2 years ago as a written text, featuring 10 chapters with a lot of colorful poetry and allegory. i’ve done the difficult arrangement of writing, editing, and recording it all. There’s no ‘physical’ copy of this book yet because i really want folks to listen as opposed to flipping through the pages and missing something.

Typos notwithstanding, there’s a message! May you get through! Whether through the Angel (😇) or Angle (📐)

Blessings and thank you for everyone that has taken the time! This was done at no cost to you, but if you wish to give a love token and donation :

Cashapp : $gesturegreen

paypal: paradiseclarity@gmail.com

Zelle: jesterants@gmail.com

seeking…(Like A Lake)

the things i wished to do, i no longer care for
the places i wanted to travel, i can’t see as reasonable any more
is it because the covid numbers are spiking up?
or the doors which refuse me by slamming shut?

i wanna cry but don’t know why
i’m blanked in space
trying to rectify my face
i’m feeling numb, sad, and displaced
feeling alone in a ‘home’ that does not belong to me
wishing to paint with lens carefully and responsibly

while, cutting off those thrills which made it easy on my heart
i rather now be torn apart
by the very thing that’s eating me inside
it’s unnamed, unable to be framed, and thrives by the constant rain
that is to say : my crying tears are attempting to unmask my fears

although: stuck in a rut of staggering associations
befuddled by contradictory operations
seeking for a friend, but instead suddenly briefed by an online stranger that this too will soon end

without a sight to see what’s really wrong
or a voice to sing in harmonic song
having the very least, while the beast inside still demands a feast!
consuming everything at the dinner table
so that the unbelievable can be told as a fable

“did you see them eating all that cake? filling their stomach like algae would a lake! they probably wouldn’t feel that way – if they were the ones who had to make, all of which would soon be left to take!”

but: it’s a lot different when you’re behind an emotional wheel seeking to safely heal
& when the transportation to feel is left to squeal

if grief had a thief, would it take like a lake? or would it restore in its proper place : salty to fresh waters which trace back to grace?

Storage Ghost

my eyes roll like dice, scattering probabilities spiced!
the cost of a gamble?
is scratching my head as i ramble !

whatever to the never,
‘cuz it’s not like IT intended on ever really coming through ( at least, FOR YOU)

their languished, weary confusion, was then
re-billed to my mirrored delusion!
i can either pay it, or let it go, overdraft?
after which, the picture and frame would both laugh !

‘cuz what a scene that would be, ha –
to portray : my dismay, on the table of their concern?
i much rather burn!!!
until i’m left crusted from the flickering flame...

fire, plants, art decor

peeling away at this smoke and ash –
forgiveness is requesting to come to pass,
but i’m too stubborn to ever remember,
that my preference for Spring is not tantamount to your December!

so i choose to remove myself like a fly, chilling against the wall.

but if you were close to my ear, i wouldn’t dismiss your call.
neither, would i smash at the annoyance of your disposition.
irrespective of how preciously, you may regard that ‘position’.

i shutter to believe : we could shoulder next to the grudge
‘cuz it wouldn’t be long until we succumb to the nudge
but,
by storing my memories to your ghost? i’ve relinquished our odds to the abyss and uttermost!

W.T.G.2.D.W.M?!

*this conversation may or may not have ever taken PLACE. the fact that it happened – makes the opinion often trade its FACE. for a reactive MOUTH or a revolution which can’t go SOUTH. even tho, here is not over there, what follows beyond THIS or THAT – : is a hello or goodbye, in need of vacuuming underneath the mat!

but, what that got to do with me! said the one who was already filled, width measures beyond what they could SEE! everything and nothing replied BACK, the concerned one after just complaining about their missing needles in a STACK. “i’m carrying all these stones, pillars, and WEIGHT – at the very least: you could offer to unload my package and take me out on a DATE. instead you choose : to WAIT, and now i fear, you’ve settled on doing nothing, as your FATE. can’t you see i’m HURT – i ain’t get this far to be played like dirt and a FIDDLE, i suppose all along you wanted me to solve your RIDDLE. how silly was i? silly enough to not hire a private SPY – to PEEK at just how many faucets you allow to LEAK. if i were you – i’d realize that maroon EMPATHY is a grace afforded to those with SYMPATHY. you don’t even bother to CARE – you’re sitting in the lazy CHAIR. or should i say : lazy BOY – all you do is polish your TOYS. it’s fudged up! but that’s the usual coming from somebody like YOU……………..

hello!

did i get THROUGH?

yes you did but if you were any more LOUD, you’d excite thunder from my CLOUD! I stand barely AWARE of what it’s like wrestling with a BEAR! you ask me – could I CARE? well, my concern has never been so much of the MATTER – my lassitude is only getting FATTER. why, you PRESUME? cuz – I gotta ZOOM! ZOOM! ZOOM! in your ROOM! ROOM! ROOM! (it’s like BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) all the freaking TIME! if only you could spare your 20 nickels for 10 DIMES! you crack a lame joke but still be asking me to LAUGH – demoting me here where you’ve sacrificed me as a golden CALF! YOU COULD HAVE JUST, SPLIT it IN HALF! a base and STRING, even when the phone does not always RING. i am expected to call and to talk but what more can I say? I have been beaten & preyed, across your desert SEA – BUT, WHAT THAT GOT TO DO WITH me!

081420 WTG2DWM — BuT WhAt tHaT gOt 2 dO wItH mE?!

you SEIZE (C) – THIS very thing —-> THAT is belonging to ALL belongs to NO 1. it’s like when, wind shows up right behind each other in a sentence, only the ‘D’ is silent in the latter. “when” shares a close fellowship with “ever” but this spoils “anything” from ever arriving on the scene, if there is no clear distinction of timing. the difference in yours and mine, is perception of that said thing. it’s very much yours and mines – it’s ours! however, hours and seconds couldn’t be further from each other but still, they’re united both one and the same! we are connected to the grand zer0, all of the substantive numbers are now made a hero! just because the invisible n0thing stands on their side! ain’t that enough to make your mind open WIDE?! Thus, there is company in ALL AND NONE ! WE : THOUGH AT ODDS IN THE RAGING SEA can’t help but ask EVENTUALLY : BUT WHAT THAT GOT 2 DO WITH me!

FEAT. A SQUEAKY SWIVEL CHAIR

this chair is so squeaky even IT has something to SAY!” :

The Signature of Millaca to Salvanix

“The Words Of My Burden, Have Trouble Catching Up With Your Relief.”

Milllaca wrote this signature every day, in hope that Salvanix would read the letters of his heart. he knew he never could write in vain, for these were words too powerful to disqualify. everyday he wrote that these troubles would run very fast to the relief of a situation. he felt that Salvanix, the lady & love of his life – could never understand the true emotions his burden.

Milllaca understood his troubles could never run faster than the relief of Salvanix. therefore, he wrote to her every day the letters of his compassion and she answered them in coy smiles.

wearing fitted suits every day – Milllaca & Salvanix did this – only in public, to display their fixed attitudes on the moving galaxies around them.

Salvanix often questioned why he did things so, Milllaca always argued back and said this was just his “flow”.

living in a serene compartment to avoid the weight of the outside associations, they kept themselves schooled in acknowledging – every speaking solitude. Milllaca tightly cuffed himself within the links of his fashion.

while Salvanix fastened herself in the loose possibilities for more freedom.

however, there came a time when the perfection of each profession became far too controlled. when the time came to move from the confides of peace, the both of them moved to the wild islands of the open future ahead of them.

the colors of this island reminded them of where they both started the existence of themselves. it was something about the bright colors of the butterfly wings which carried the significance to each of them.

the rocks on this island felt more real than it did before, and Milllaca felt he would never return to the compartment of confinement again.

here he was truly free and felt comfort in his clothes being loose on his body. the freedom of the “fit” proved successful, as he could fly with Salvanix without restraint. the ropes of hesitation always flew against the wall of Salvanix’s certainty. he knew deep inside she had to fly, but flying with him would still never catch up to her relief.

Salvanix cried every night because Milllaca could never escape the signature she thought was written on the tables of confinement. as the trees listened to her tears, Milllaca became very apprehensive in the way Salvanix read his emotion. he then wrote after having conversation with the trees a new signature to his beloved Salavanix: “The Words Of My Relief, Have Trouble Catching Up With Your Burden”.

Salvanix stood very still, in the silence of emotions, and looked up with intensifying realizations into Milllaca’s dark brown eyes. Milllaca knew what was required and it was unequivocally more than a signature.

remembering the fitted allegiance to the control of their galaxies, he fastened his buttons in hope for an indication that he could still exist in confinement. In tightening his cuff links, he felt a scream within the sound of each agreement that he would be leaving the bagginess behind.

Salvanix SCREAMED…”Milllaca the signature requires more than a tight fix. I’ve never disqualified freedom in confinement, but you sometimes chose to live in a way which prohibits freedom.

live inside of me and exercise your words and I will attempt to drink your burden, but you must find a way to DEMONSTRATE to me your desired relief!”

Milllaca felt the hunger in his soul roar for the relief to be shown. he knew the natural urge was correspondent to the clashing chemical reactions in the room.

the button was the body in which the thread brought life and function. the cufflinks in the same manner, were a steadfast reminder of embodied stylized finesse. these buttons and cufflinks were emblematic of freedom fighters and his ancestral history.

to Millaca, these buttons and cuff links held significant meaning as each of them carried a record of recognition. not to mention the variation of color and styles made it an always faithful tool.

Salvanix hoped to discern the meaning behind the multiple curtains drawn. the ropes and walls of certainty both at odds with each other. as, she thought of the colorful islands and memories of the butterflies found. she then gazed upon these memories and removed her frustrations by unbuttoning the inhibitors holding her back.

Millaca and Salvanix both realized the embodied signatures required to bring relief or cause burden was never unable to be solved // they only needed to communicate the will to fly or to stay at bay. words and sentences never needed to catch up, they only needed to be demonstrated by a faithful and most understood signature.

The Banana Conundrum

i got a real problem! one which involves the physical appeal. so many stages of existence – how does one go about consuming it? it’s radioactively yellow. it’s brown. its green. its purple. it’s black. it comes hard but softens in time. as for the potassium? it sits right near 8% daily recommendation!

I t ‘ s – b a n a n a s !

b🍌a🍌n🍌a🍌n🍌s🍌- this fruit can be starchy or sweet. fried (plantins) or baked into bread. the taste of such squish has been a weird conundrum for me lately. bananas do not grow isolated and alone – they are quite the united gang.

imagine a scenario where you buy a group of 8 bananas that are already nearly ripe. suppose you wished to eat one banana a day. well you should really start thinking about eating them all soon. (with not much time to waste) because that’s 8 days of bananas. on Friday you chop one banana into your morning oatmeal and 2 others into a evening smoothie. you now have 5 bananas left over, by Saturday you don’t want any bananas so you don’t eat any. The day goes by and the brown becomes visibly more apparent. Now Sunday is here but you don’t get a chance to eat breakfast because you had to run an errand and was in the mood for Mexican food. 3 days has passed and you suddenly notice: dem suckers are really violet brown! eww. who wants them now? certainly not me!

its a fruit that is often subjected to comedic conjecture due to its phallic nature. it also can act like a phone…i wonder what it’s saying now?

when you really breakdown the delirium of bananas – it makes sense as to why they’re so popular. Bananas are curved because they grow towards the sun (it’s called negative geotropism).

it’s unusually appealing – you have to peal it in order to access the fruit. the banana is more of a BERRY than a strawBERRY cuz the seeds are inside whereas strawberries are not. bananas are ridiculous for many reasons you may or not have agreed as before mentioned. but how do we deal with the presentation of ill willed friction? people be slipping on what they thought, based on unchecked biases. the confrontation of the breakdown can come as a serious blow. we know how it feels to read but when was the last time someone READ you!?

when someone picked up on the implications that were potentially given. one is led to believe based off the nuances found. it’s crazy that bananas are mostly eaten at breakfast time – but the conundrum can be solved anytime of the day.

bananas are really ridiculous! this much has been established SINCE PEOPLE BEEN SLIPPING ON THEM IN CARTOONS. the parallel i’m aiming to make seems obvious but if you’re still wondering what the conundrum is …

bananas are like autumn – turning from green to brown! but damn, already?

WECOG2ORGANIZE

HEREIN, CONTAINED IS A POLITICAL/COMMUNIST & SOCIALIST/ANTI-CAPITALIST RANT – IT’S ALL OVER THE PLACE! BUT I GUARANTEE THEE, THAT THESE SOURCES ARE MADE AVAILABLE TO YOU WITHIN A INTERNET SEARCH OR WALK TO THE LIBRARY (YOU MAY MEET THE LIBRARIAN AND EXERCISE YOUR MIND, AS MY FUNK SISTER IDA NIELSEN SAYS ON HER NEWEST ALBUM – 0202020)… HISTORY DOES NOT REPEAT ITSELF BUT IT OFTEN RHYMES AS MARK TWAIN MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE SAID….

WECOG2ORGANIZE? = (WE GOT TO ORGANIZE!)

radical and transformative change can happen more often but our awareness of such shifts, is burdened by ancient tricks of propaganda. the gear of our incentive must be dressed with the knowledge of randomized weather. (especially as the climate gets warmer and 5G satellites interfere with digital waves) we gotta be PREPARED and the only way to make that happen is to ORGANIZE!

the establishment is crumbling and they don’t want you to know that or at least to do anything about it. it’s not gonna be an easy battle fighting against large multi-billion $ industries. america is an oligarchy.

the very rich and powerful at the top are the minority and they aim to protect their own interests. the same tricks at play now were long established at the foundation of the constitution.

the status quo makes justification of such corruption while the rationalization of such framing is supported by self-serving interests. we have the tools in our box to build a prosperous right now – when we recognize and implement a unified purpose.

this purpose does not have to be abstract or hard to achieve. as humans have always worked better together. it’s natural to want to be independent – we want dignity and the natural sense, to chase after what inspires us. most available work is not promised the freedom without the cost of severe labor.

while working our jobs, we often find ourselves deprived and drained – juggling yet another reality of pay check to pay check. for the working class population, our work is exploited for profit and so it goes on and so on.

“whatever does not spring from a man’s free choice, or is only the result of instruction and guidance, does not enter into his very nature; he does not perform it with truly human energies, but merely with mechanical exactness”.”

–
Wilhelm Von Humbodlt

we’ll settle for whatever is necessary in order to survive. this doesn’t mean we have to constantly be misinformed by the mass media who uses our attention for profit. there’s considerable honor in being involved in work, which best serves our hearts and interests.

while we may be cogs inexplicably in a system where corporate power abuses our time and snatches our will to create… – WE CAN ORGANIZE!

WE can do something about it. WE can know what what we’re advocating for (and who has policies which favor a social safety net for everybody).

they’re significant reasons why people outside of the united snakes of america, establish a village mind mentality. we are always stronger together. we are a united organism when we are organized!

6 years ago i made this video – (ORGANIZATION OR ORGANISM (COG SOCIETY) – by calling attention to the small moving parts which are necessary for the whole to function.

every voice and contribution matters, regardless of how far from importance the culture makes it seem. the media does a fantastic job forcing the idea we want all of these material and discardable things when really that is not the case. plenty of people, prefer to spend a great amount of time doing nothing. leisure is always welcomed among humans because it gives us the real space to ponder on what can be done. by not doing anything it creates a landscape for the things we can do. things which bring us joy and a sense of purpose. we are often misled to believe that we don’t have the power but quite the contrary. if enough people make enough noise – radical change of direction is inevitable. We cog to organize!

IN WHY SEE? WILDCARD!

7 letters…

N E W Y O R K

i’ve been looking to find the words to describe my trip to NYC. this was my first trip there and i knew before i arrived – i wouldn’t see half of it. (much less a slither of what it offers) there’s so much HISTORY – so much i presumptively imagined MYSTERY, would be hard to find. this couldn’t be further from reality; as i still long, to unlock the gritty sensation that makes up this BIG CITY!

for starters: IT’S AN ISLAND! surrounded by water. as my plane landed – i couldn’t help but marvel at all of the water this metropolis is engulfed by. many have spoken about the skyscrapers, lights, subways, people and RATS! (shout out to the whale like rat which ran in front of me and my friend!) if i could try to describe this elemental sensation of feeling, it would be in a series of acronyms. all of them representing each selection and detail of the here, now, and soon.

most of the time when you tell people you’re going to NYC – people wanna know WHY?! you’re repetitively reminded of how EXPENSIVE IT IS! (& that’s not a lie) how it’s dirty. The Pickpocketing! how it’s being GENTRIFIED (which is absolutely the case) and many other crucial aspects to consider when traveling there or much less – if you wish to live there. What seems to be the case is that the NYC of today is nothing like it use to be. i considered all of this into focus before traveling. i didn’t want any surprises but at the same time, i expected this experience to completely invigorate my prospects….AND THAT IT DID.

i didn’t nearly see as much as i wanted but i did get to meet and spend time with some of my favorite people. as a content creator, i’ve been blessed to meet people from all over the world. many of which connect to me via my youtube videos, blog posts, and other related media i’ve made throughout the years. i barely make the ‘000’s threshold. despite this, somebody somewhere saw whatever it was. reached out. conversation was had and the lost was then FOUND. thank you all for following along! ❤

E L L E – You Think You Understand But You DON’T! 😀

Ivory Snow! Producer – Artist – Main Man 50 grand!

JAMILAH! 10 years Deep! Since My First YouTube Channel

DANNY! AND Randy – We Just Had Jamaican Food, So We’re LIT!

LEGENDARY ENCOUNTER – Doug Levinson! We Respected No Silence @ Dinner!

Sammy! Sunshine Energy All The Way From Holland!

like a recipe to a delicious meal – you can count on faithful mesmerization. you know it’s gonna be good when you register with the ingredients. (POPEYES CHICKEN SANDWICH MAKE NOISE!) Sam took this quick video as I bit into the goodness. 😀

with anxiousness leading into me the next – i am sitting at the table with various cards – one of which is a…

SOMETHING ABSOLUTELY INSANE. (IN THE MEMBRANE) INSANE IN THE BRAIN~! i feel we are at the cusp of a significant eclipse. We are always at the dawn of something. i’ve been asking people lately, if you could name this chapter in your life, what would suffice?

MANY words may come to mind or maybe none at all? we are in this wrestle of noise and silence and we are guided by either the impulse to remain or shatter the dishes.

the awareness of seasonal depression is one that knocks loudly when you feel november walking hands with gusty winds. if not provided a temporary temple against such typhoons – the measure of your outfit is better DECKED with layers, scarves, beanies, gloves, AND ALL DAT! The seasons do indeed change and so must our attitude around this fact.

SELAH

All of us are dealing with a lot at the moment. we’re all spinning in life’s web // trying to figure it out. traveling can help expand your perception about how small our bubble is. we can always go DEEPER and HARDER (of course that comes with the upkeep of such energy) as it would seem – the world is not simple to understand, though complex, there is still the ability to search.

if we do not take such leaps and risks, we often fall prey to the usual command of the cycle. i am identifying with the ways i have become stagnant. (the lounge chair and all) it’s very easy for all of us to do. especially when your approach to life is sort of like the wind. there will always remain rules in the universe but the wise one knows when to break them or to reimagine them, in ways which best serves the situation.

So many thunderstorms lay hostage in my mind and i’m only now breaking them free.(writing down thunderstorms means knowing also which eye of the storm is worth the explanation.) as I gaze out the window of my solitude – i find strength in writing down miscellaneous items that should be fulfilled.

whether, we are praying or actually writing a list down – a request for improved outcomes is never dire. it can be very hard and challenging to look and examine our failures because it then creates a space of introspection. AND WHO WANTS TO SEE IN FULL FORCE A REFLECTION OF RANDOMIZED REALITY?

Ever take a photo of yourself on accident only to find out how you really look at random seconds

NYC revealed to me that everyday can be a wildcard. every moment is a choice to imagine and fulfill. the scratch continues to inform the reason – what is the source of this irritation? can we be tongue tied with reason and delusional thinking all at once? What better pathway to clarity than a series of questions and guesses?

i’m finding my voice while still lounging in a marshmallow chair. The fight to keep it going and to just let things fall as they go is a CONSTANT BATTLE. when you see how things are // how they can be // how they were // how they feel now – the rabbit hole continues…

faded shades of multi-colored attempts and possibilities that never made it down the runway. clothes just hanging in the closet waiting to be worn for the right occasion. yet, the occasion never comes because you are waiting for it instead of just stepping into the wildcard.

here is where it gets even more challenging – the reality of failure can cause extreme lost.

but now i’m at a point where i crave deduction. i believe somethings should be lost and exempt. when examining everything we receive on the constant bases – sure some things would benefit being off the menu. By losing, we are gaining the space to acquire more. carrying too much means losing the energy to do anything with what you got.

i know now that my ramble has opened a different scene – I have escaped in a place I like to deem the random collisions of thought. (mental craze!) i am in a visible crossroads. a place where colors and shapes have had more voice than literal words. only now, these words must come to life and find motion in the physical.

imagination gives birth to ever changing scenarios. additions and deductions are a part of the cycle – the words continue and the pen never runs out.

READY OR NOT = it is coming. i don’t know what ‘IT’ may be to you but it’s coming. a confirming realization that speaks with no words only silent affirmation. like a head nodding to a beat that’s beating on the 2n4. it’s closer – by saying yes to the wildcard of selection. we are placed in a position to connect with the variations of outcome and proceed accordingly.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS (BUTTONS!)

today i learned is National ‘Count Your Button Day!” it happens every 21st of October! i’ve long been fascinated with buttons as a form of accessory, design, and placement. the act of sewing a button down is very therapeutic for me. hence ‘button therapy’. it’s a symbol of accomplishment and story telling.

how many buttons are too many? some would argue / there’s never enough buttons! they’re people with jars and boxes – never ending stacks upon stacks of buttons from varying sizes and kinds. i could get lost (and have spent a lot time organizing and separating by color and kind.) it doesn’t end. i started to take all my buttons out and count them individually but not only is that incredibly daunting – I don’t want to make the time for that. who am I counting them for? do I send the number to the national button collection agency for a raffle for more buttons?

all my 4’s are x’s (4 button holes)
all my 2’s are 1’s (2 button holes)

buttons are blessings, truly! they provide different ways of seeing color and direction. I wear enough buttons to make noise to my dryers. I come to make noise or at the very least a jingle and song. the louder the better! I been making dryer machines sing melodies since 2011. 😀 (it’s been 9 years since I started sewing buttons regulary)

growing up in my old church – there was a congregational song commonly sang one that I still sing very often to myself

“COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS! NAME THEM ONE BY ONE! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS SEE WHAT GOD HAS DONE! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS! NAME THEM ONE BY ONE! WHY DON’T YOU JUST COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS! SEE WHAT GOD HAS DONE?”

blessings, y’all! I love saying that! it’s a proper greeting! blessings! blessed be! we’re blessed and highly favored! blessed cuz we have seeds that can grow into multi-colored flowers!

Glory Story

getting business half done is what gets us in trouble. for we should be on the move! life carries on whether we choose to caress it or not. i think it wise to be more tender to these ‘fleeting’ moments. we are swirling around other planets in this great connected yet a seemingly unconnected world of ours.

the earth is so large that our comprehension of it is very limited. the further you go out from it, you have to come back into it. the more water you drink the more you have to urinate. the more you talk…the more you need to shut up and listen. the more you know, the less you really do. everyone joins in this contradiction no matter how divorced we may seem from this reality. what is obvious to me is usually not obvious to you.

“ISN’T IT OBVIOUS THAT OBVIOUSLY, WE ARE OBLIVIOUS TO THE OBVIOUS?”

how do you get your information? does your media follow a consistent bias? does the truth matter? I’m among the first to admit, anytime i hear someone talk about ‘The Truth’ i start to see pyramid schemes and the many ways this ‘truth’ can be soiled through the exploitation of beli3f. if there is a ladder to successs, surely some are stepped on with no regard to their life. we’d like to believe the world is better than this that WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS.

all media is designed to program you and change the way you think. the internet influences through reaction and emotive dissonance. when we apply reason and detective like tendencies, we can recognize the patterns. all the while remembering: THE WORLD IS LARGE AND WE CARE MOSTLY IN THE ORDER OF OUR PROXIMITY TO CONVENIENCE.

did you hear the news?!

the gardner’s in green valley had their greatest harvest yet and the people of the city were given bags of harvest! isn’t that lovely? yeah but mostly for those in green valley. “i live in orange tunnel lake and we haven’t had a drop of rain since last november!!!”

i encourage the sharing of miscellaneous cotton candy (happiness) after all, some sweets are worth melting into the mouth. whether people are interested enough to share in your pleasures is anyone’s guess. this brings us back to the mass media and how they distribute data.

the mass media is the agency in which your information is received/believed/ processed / shared. what we like is not always indicative of what we know but what we’re feeling at particular moments. these feelings are fleeting and often forgotten until a new one comes around.

historians and anthropologists have tracked the changes in humanity and time and time we see the same habit. same time, same boogie. over and over – time and time again, there’s nothing new under the sun. the philosophers, hairstylists, and comedians all get this.

EVERYONE is arriving at different times and some didn’t eat breakfast. some partied too hard last night. and some got out of bed an hour later than expected! this means….

TRAFFIC JAM!!!

turns may lead to unexpected crashes, curves to implications and unreasonable reactions stemmed from lack of clarity. we can point to a host of reasons why we get things wrong. none of those reasons matter if we don’t seek to solve it. may we align our reactions in a solution based framework. when you feel, this gives a space to reveal the possible keys left, to be turned into doors of service.

the genre of music you like is completely independent to the customizations of society. for the country and hip-hop music fan, they have different tastes. sort of how arugula, has arguably a more peppery taste, than, spinach but when combined, a fascinating thing happens. a collision of nonsensical jargon that can’t meet up to the ladder of glory but there remains a story! for this reason, we carry on!

Pain Prolongs, Perhaps?

We need not be reminded of the toe that was cuffed against the bed frame. Perhaps, the most complexing is how pain doesn’t need an invitation to the party.* Pain doesn’t need to be summoned to the dance floor.* it shows up on stage demanding that you deal with the groove. Pain doesn’t go away so easily. It makes you spin and cry but it isn’t finished with you yet. Pain pulsates and creates a space for more pain to come.

Not much you can do but find a remedy. Pain is long-suffering and teeth pain cripples the will to move on. (Sometimes It’s worth it!)

Laughing, eating, and talking is a joke when your throat and mouth are paralyzed. It doesn’t last long but the pain is manipulative.

Ice can’t always take the heat away. Nakedness can’t hide from its claws. Pain shares a resemblance with misunderstanding. Pain reacts in desperate and sometimes dramatic measures of fashion.

It may scream or mislead through a made up scenario that never ever happened. It’s a shame to see someone willingly redesign and reconfigure what is looking at them.

By suspending reality and hiring illusion you ensure that no one wins. The game is not even set by any rules that matter but when you deny what’s in front of you. Got Damn!

It’s upsetting because it makes you a delusional artist. WATCH OUT NOW: you’re adding too much paint and color to the subject and now the sun looks like a bowling ball!

Perspective matters but please talk in the same key. Most of these realizations can change but they tend to remain stagnant. Now you’re loading apples into golden storage bins! You see what I mean?

It doesn’t make sense, so slow down and bring it full circle. By all means look and deal with reality for what it presents itself as. Pain is a part of the process to get to beauty. I may be in my own world but I see what iz looks like.

Cuz, iz doesn’t mean pain will prolong.

Mediate To Levitate!

Hate & Chance

What is Hate? Well, hate is given to someone who has shown themselves uninterested in changing. Hate is an itch that must be scratched. Hate is when irresponsible to the ethics of morality (or what is seen as good).

We feel ‘hatred’ often when we are slightly inconvenienced. (It ain’t about you all the time motherfucka) But – It’s a valid feeling when it comes around. It’s almost as sweet as revenge. The passion that comes with hatred can be delightful. It would be like sticking your hands in a pack of skittles and consistently getting red, green, and peach colors. That tropical blend is an exquisite taste and so is hate on occasion! 😀

Hate is a plague and we redeem our connection to it, by divorcing it from our consciousness. Love doesn’t work with someone who can’t understand the language of love. I suppose it can but then it’s transformed into something else. Speaking to someone in riddles only works if they have lunch with the Oracle. Otherwise, riddles and witticisms may come across as nonsensical to others. (Which by then Willy Wonka should have already reminded you – that everyone who buys a ticket, WINS: Although it may not be golden – the chocolate is still good to eat!)

Love makes rooms to sympathize that some are in error and others wish to recover that which has steered off its path. If by chance hate and love work together it is through the fashion like manner of love. Love can be worn on messy bodies – but if you musty, you shouldn’t try on clean clothes. It’s better to wash clean from dirt before wearing new fabrics.

If by chance hate and love can work together – it is through the awareness of harmonic convergence. When the lights gamble with darkness. Either one of them will win at different times.
The chances that hate is seen as love are few in which case, by then…

Written days ago but upon the motion of right now – a sadness breeds reflection and resolution.

How To Unlock Caterpillar Logic

Growing up in New Orleans for me was a privilege, that I don’t take for granted in my childhood. It meant good food, lively music, snowballs, and a rich culture. It also meant around spring time caterpillars would hang from my grandparents oak trees!

I dreaded caterpillars because they were very thick and sticky. There was often a host of caterpillars all crammed together like a pack of sardines. April and May, in particular, meant caterpillars would be everywhere from the sidewalks, bushes, and my grandmother’s porch. This did not mean much to my grandfather when he’d want assistance in cleaning the sidewalk.

“Come on out here boy, this sidewalk won’t brush itself!!” He’d yell.

“But he’s hysterical of those caterpillars!” Gammie would plead!

I’m thankful my Gammie always had my back and considered how I felt! It is through her care and concern, I never had to help my pops clean around outside during the spring! Luckily, I had a brother who didn’t mind as much! 😀

I never shook my fear of them until I left New Orleans. I didn’t see them at all in Texas although I noticed on occasion, I’d catch small moths and butterflies. I’ve grown to appreciate the caterpillar because of its developmental changes. I reference their process often in my life. Looking back at how afraid I was, I now see a misguided fear. Was I afraid of growing? Could I soon break free from the cocoon? The more I learned about their process, the more I appreciated their relevance in all living existence.

I made a short video breaking down an allegorical connection between caterpillars and the flow of your ideas!

The Opening Quest

In preparation for further development of my book, I decided to answer several questions from one of my favorite authors Dushka Zapata.

These questions set the tone for 2018 while also inspiring me to invite you to send me questions that you have thought about existence. The goal isn’t to overthink but to answer with what you feel in the heart of the moment.

Here are my favorite 14 questions.

1. “If life had no meaning, what meaning would I create for mine?”

I’d create a meaning that would mean something to me tomorrow. A meaning that has enough nutrition to last for me and those who came after me. If no others came after me then the meaning would have to be enough to satisfy me even when I’m bored. Something to make me laugh and cry because it’s all so beautifully complex.

2. “If there was no purpose to our existence, what purpose would I give to mine to shield myself from existential despair?”

I would make it a mission to make someone think about their life and what they can do with it. I would want them to laugh at how ironic this whole game of life is. I would want to show myself and people around me how life is so short and how we should chase what gives us that rush.

3. “What matters to me? Why? And once I figure this out, can I determine an order of importance?”

Freedom matters most to me. To be at full liberty without the worry that I must stop at the disadvantage of someone’s inability to respect my equilibrium. If I could get out of someone’s way to their freedom. Establishing importance would mean to know it’s not just about me.

4. “Is there a healthy, logical correlation between my priorities and how I spend my time? If not, why?”

I give myself too much time for tasks I feel can wait. I must embed a pattern of usual, so I don’t buy into the distractions because god knows I have binged on many distractions. I think I have bought so much time because I see time as an illusion and I feel I always have time, but I’ve come to realize I don’t always have time. It’s always leaving me when I gain it.

5. “What am I afraid of? Can I learn to distinguish the fear that protects me from the fear that stops me?”

“They say everybody is afraid of something although I don’t know what actually makes me afraid now. I am drawn to the unknown and I believe fear makes us strong at times. I suppose my fear is to be consistent in the most western way of doing it. (I must always pay my bills and have enough left over) Constantly making enough that is sufficient and inspiring enough to last. The best way for me to distinguish it is to fail occasionally and not feel guilty about it.”

6.”What happens when I get what I want? Is it glorious, empty, triumphant, anticlimactic? Why?”

I usually feel content with it. Sometimes when I want something so very badly and get it – I don’t feel like it was worth the wanting. I would like to capture the gloriousness more because there’s substance in playing in that feeling. I think it becomes anticlimactic because I knew I could get it – I just didn’t think I would survive the trip to get there.

7. “What does happiness mean to me? What makes me happy and how can I capture that elusive sensation more often?”

Happiness means more laughter and learning found in simple and complex things. I think if I read more, the joy of happiness will show up more.

8. “What hurts me? How can I become stronger against what causes me to suffer? How and where can I learn to suffer less? How can I remind myself that the person who makes me suffer the most is me?”

I hurt myself when I don’t own up to my decisions and how they influence others. I should remember that I am in the driver’s seat and that my reactions can be calmer. To be mindful of silence and that words don’t always have to be spoken.

9. “What is left of me if I attempt to define myself without leaning on anything I do? I am a student, I am a writer, I am a mom, I am a manager, I am a Vice President – these are all things I do. Who am I? Where is she?”

This is a very complex one. I am here and while I am here, I want to make as much hell and fun on this trip. I observe, sleep, learn and then convert this knowledge into love for everyone around me.

10. “How can I avoid losing myself in my relationships? What are my boundaries and how do I enforce them?”

One way is to have a clear understanding that we do not belong to each other but that we are only appreciating and honoring each other’s company. That we live with the knowledge that we can together but sometimes we may steer to our own strengths by ourselves. I can enforce my boundaries by staying true to myself without shame or pressure.

11. “What do my feelings teach me about myself? If I feel anger or jealousy, can I learn not to react to these feelings but instead determine what they are trying to tell me?”

They are trying to tell me to maybe rearrange what I do not understand. To Ask more questions and to speak softly and to apologize when I’ve assumed too much. I can learn by simply remembering people are often in the same state as me. They just want clarity.

12. “What happens when I sit in silence?”

I find that the stillness in myself is still yearning to speak to myself in riddles of nothing but me, myself, and I.

13. “How can I better manage change? How can I get better at accepting how little control I have?”

Knowing that I did not choose to be born here at the time I was. Some parts are played long before I got here.

14. “How would I like to be remembered?”

“Remembered for good company with a fresh willingness to open a door that people didn’t really think about turning, making them laugh while thinking.”

If you got through all of my answers to these magnificent questions, I applaud your interest endearingly! I encourage you to answer some of these questions as well! I wanted to start 2018 with these questions because they would open up my understanding of myself and where I want to go.

I am making it a mission to write way more while reading, listening, and observing.

We can do this thing together – narrating and asking. This will help us climb the ladder for clarity among all living things!

((*Every 7th of the month from now until March – I’ll post 3 of my favorite questions (& 7 replies) that I find correlates with the book I’m working on! If you have any questions that you have asked at any time // feel free to email me at jesterj7@hotmail.com

Punitive Punch

They came with a punitive punch. A punch meant to sentence me to prison. They wanted me to pay for all my alleged crimes.

There I went – flying with punishment for crimes I did not commit. Something as small as an ant turned into a monster from The Transformers series.

What’s the point of making something so minuscule a major quandary? The implication of guilt then breeds a fierce judgment which disqualifies my actual existence to think freely.

Applauding progress nowadays is like sticking a gun up to someone after they sincerely apologize. I want to change that. Progress deserves a laudable response when met with demonstrative commitment.

Instead, I’m given a whip to my brain – fighting over the grains of sand while building skyscrapers with what remains.

This was a knockout to the mind and a strangle to my neck. I was sent without warning and while believing I was strong, I then came across a nail polish bottle.

This was a test of my strength and I couldn’t pass it as well as I thought. The twists and turns only left my hands bruised – this was a punch meaning to wrongfully arrest me with brutal enforcement.

This was meant to make a mockery of my weakness and while we all deal with it at some point. I’ve already been locked in a padded cell. I’m crying out for Justice and Mercy, but will I ever be heard? The guards laugh at me as they know this familiar story.

So, what’s left to say when you’ve been punched? You can hit back but a punch ain’t a pinch. This punch was a knockdown to my rebuttal. A rebuke to my progress – a punitive punch which knocked me to the ground.

As I lay down to lick my wounds, I’m reminded that a punch doesn’t mean it’s the end of me. A punch is much like a reminder that it was all a joke. *Like come on, don’t take it that seriously* I sure as hell ain’t Laughing but I’m not crying either. A striking blow yes, but it opened a window to my healing.

Now, I can contemplate my next move! I’ll offer a punch back this time – with a spike. Then we can get this party started for real! No more tears or fears – Justice has finally served us pardoned.

Gradual (Not Immediate) Approximately

Are you aware of the ‘Trans-Theoretical Model’? (TTM)

It comes in 5 Stages:

(1) Pre-contemplation – When one is unaware that change is necessary.

(2) Contemplation – When one recognizes the problem but not fully committed to changing it.

(3) Preparation – When one decides a change is necessary – When one Makes an effort.

(4) Action – When one puts into motion the action to deal with the problem.

(5) Maintenance – Goes hand in hand with action – Also where urges arise to encourage a relapse into the same behaviors.

We don’t always take into account how long It takes to changing behavioral patterns. As most things in life teach us – it ain’t that simple and the complications should be honored. These steps provide a layout that reminds us of the pieces that form the full picture of recovery. Even when you’re on the last step – it’s important to keep track of progress.

It’s easy and expected to get lost on your road to recovery and it’s very plausible that you may relapse. We aren’t always understanding of this struggle but exercising empathy is one of the best traits we can use for one another. This doesn’t mean we excuse toxic behavior in favor or someone’s journey – but again to exercise empathy is a great reward.

At best we are only approximating solutions. We’re all looking through the glass dimly through scuffs and bruises. Which is close enough, TBh. We are gradually getting to where we need to be. If history serves us correctly, it takes time and failure.

Trial and error.

We can learn an awful lot if we use what’s around us to our advantage. There is a lot which is beyond our reach but so many things close to our distance. It’s better if we deal with what’s in front of us rather than overlook what’s just around the corner.

Which leads me to my next point.

When was the last time you thought about the importance of reading?

NEWS FLASH: Most folks – don’t read.

Headlines are not articles. Articles aren’t always volumes but if properly condensed you can pack a lot of information in a few paragraphs. You don’t have to travel to discover more about the people around you. Reading is fundamental and while this is clear – it’s often forgotten about. Books are becoming less and less interested in mass consumption.

The link between bad behaviors and reading inevitably cross in light of new information.

It suddenly dawned me on just how a vast many of us are indeed ‘programmed’. When I say suddenly – I don’t mean out of nowhere. It didn’t reveal itself from the blanket of nothingness. Rather – upon careful observation of our various climates and conditions. We (Humans) are a special breed of Living energies and the way we cope knowledge and information have never been easier at the dawn of this internet age.

^^ I saw this and laughed myself into a deeply thoughtful analysis which is the basis of this blog post.

How many of us are really informed because of the tools made available to us for FREE on the Internet? Water is life and So is The Internet and I’ve already talked about this before – so I won’t go too far on that.

When I think of being ‘programmed’ it’s not by some pseudo prophetic cyber chip implanted in our fingers and hands. It’s more indirect. We have far better access than we’ve ever had in history. Regardless of this, many of us are ignorant of those around us. We simply don’t know because we’re plugged into the system of paying bills and finding out what’s next to eat. This pattern of daily living can get ruthless and if you’re not stimulating your brain by renewing perspectives – like a languid body sitting constantly, you become stuck.

We may not be DEEP or Intellectual enough to break it down from the micro and macro but with the connection of knowledge, we can stay informed. Don’t know? Get up and exercise your right to ask.

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t have to be all the way there. You can approximate your way to the answer.

Knot For, Width

As a unit, we can tie the knot. Things are expanding in width so harnessing the edges are crucial at this point. If we keep on walking the way we are – the more our shoes become untied.

This is why a perfect knot must be made. It’s not my ego talking when I say “I don’t work for you – I’m working with you.” If I was working for you, the knot would constantly come loose.

You can’t-do what I do and I can’t-do what you can do.Therefore, I am working with you. As a team, we are expanding width.

It can be hard to say something more when our silence speaks volumes. Silence is indeed a weapon, one that doesn’t wield predictable swaying. Somebody can talk until the roof is torn down while someone else decides they rather stay silent.

When the two of us are in the same room – tasting our own orbits – spiraling in our own lands: why is it one then stumbles on the realization that the other can’t swim? If one of us could teach, the other would then have to understand. The length of our distance is not too far but our width must be measured properly.

Don’t you hate it when your pants sag to the ground?! Constantly having to pull them up because they’re not quite fit. I suppose if you lost a little weight, it’s a pleasant surprise the first time. It would only be a matter of time until you’d need a belt, tho.

Pulling up the extra slack so that like your shoes – they’d be tied down to you.

I’m saying something clever – whimsical enough to paint what’s invisible in clear sight. I’m careful as to not paint with too wide of a brush. I don’t want to miss the edges and the fine details which make up the mosaic. It’s the details that make the difference – especially from afar.

Whenever I bring meaning – I must also accept losing what was aimed to tie me up. The purpose of a knot is to negate what is loose.

Picture it like this: Whenever you tie a knot – you want the strength of your pull to be strong enough to last. (At least to keep up from steady making a knot repeatedly) If your shoes come untied, chances are you didn’t do it tight enough. We do what we do for comfortable walking.

In summary:

Two become one. A hundred becomes one. A thousand becomes one. A million becomes one. All become one unit. It’s no longer just one but a complete team. KNOT FOR BUT WIDTH.

Concentrated Stare

What are you staring at?

Could it be my dark skin paired with beige company beside me?

What about my countenance – is it that threatening to be remembered later?

What gives you the thrill to focus so long on what’s in front of you?

Pardon all of my questions – but you don’t seem to mind answering all of where your curiosity leads.

I don’t mind if you take a look but to follow with your wandering eyes seems a bit much.

You are concentrating so much with your stare – I can literally hear what you think!

All of the assumptions and judgments, they aren’t all pleasant.

I feel it and I can see where you’re going with this.

Therefore, I’m gonna give you something absurd.

A middle finger or a twisted face.

I’m not sure yet – but the more you look – you’ll notice.

Enough to get you talking to your family at the dinner table.

I can already hear you telling them about how you saw someone so peculiar.

It’s funny how in an instant someone can become the talk of the day.

I’ve become famous already through your concentrated stare.

How highly you must think of me. To offer me such consideration in your eyes.

So you like what you see?

Even if you don’t – subconsciously your curiosity is a bit deeper than you expect.

I feel the power of your eyes – it’s pulling me like the moon.

How full your eyes are – staring into all the deepest crevices of my movement.

Your eyes are doing all the talking and I’m convinced your mouth is too shy to speak.

Don’t be shy – there’s language that rhymes with staring.

It starts with a hello and ends at: What are you looking at?

HmmMorocco!

The smells. The feels. The luring. The invitation. The persuasion. The price. The Africa! Morocco has been such a thrill since we landed on the soil. There’s a lot about Morocco that I haven’t fully grasped – (like the driving including donkeys, motorcycles, bicycles, and cars). However so much more about it has really inspired me.

Every day so far feels like a new adventure. There’s no real map of reason in terms of what to expect. The roads lead to narrow paths – narrated by a stray cat looking to past you into times past. It’s easy to get lost in the matrix of endless chances to buy and to experience. No amount of preparing can really put you in the place of being ready for what’s around the corner. It can literally be anything – I’ve not yet turned into an empty corner. Even the blankness of some alleys is filled with mystery and impending curiosity.

The best way I could describe it: You’d have to walk the streets to get the best experience of it. Granted, I’ve never been to the third world before this. I’m not even sure why we call it the third world. It’s the same world we live but the rules in how we live are way different. The people here seem so equipped in determining who is a tourist and who isn’t. My partner and I stick out like a sore thumb. She dresses with style and me myself – my hair turns a lot of faces! Some have called me Mr.Obama or even Rastafarian man. At any rate, some are curious in how they determine where someone is from. 😀

I’m living and that’s what it is all about. Life is meant to be shared and with good company, memories are even sweeter. Every color paired with a texture of experience is Kaleidoscopic. We have been on our toes with each moment. Prepared the best way we know how to – something you learn to expect. You can’t always negotiate the inevitable. Whether you are aiming high or low – you’ll land where satisfaction rises to the top.

Hand in hand – Experiences are treasures to the mind. You can never fail at the taste of the different spices. Learning to be educated while also growing to teach what one has gained. So much more to hand out – I’m just getting started. Ain’t it fun?

The Qualified Sum

If you’re gonna play: Rock, Paper, Scissors with me – look directly into my eyes. Only look down when it’s time to decide who won. You’re cheating if you look at the hands the whole time, Don’t debate me – on this! 😀

Games like Rock, Paper, Scissors and Tic Tac Toe (X’s and O’s) are based on specific patterns. If you learn them, you’ll be able to win depending on if your opponent makes a mistake. Worst case scenario is that there would be a tie with no winners or losers. Yay!

I find games like this fun because with enough repetition – your subconscious catches on to how the player makes their move. We don’t always win at this but if you aren’t aware of the algorithm – you’ll find yourself losing more and more. This doesn’t always favor your ego, especially if you’re used to winning.

Some of us are so bitter when it comes to failing we revise history to our advantage. *coughs – white people* It makes absolutely no sense to do this. It just makes you a sore loser. White Supremacists, Neo-Nazis, and Confederate loving Americans are PRIME at doing this. They don’t wanna look at history for what it is but rather what they want to make out of it.

Times like now are interesting because they force us to examine the ways we cheat at excusing our behavior. We’re afraid of owning up to some of our own biases if they mean proving us wrong.

Ever caught yourself in a: “NOT ALL OF US” KIND OF MOMENT?

It should be painfully obvious that ‘NOT ALL ‘ is dumped in when talking about a group of people. I’ve been seeing a lot of statements like #MenAreTrash – previously, I would get on the defense whenever I’d hear a generality like that because ‘HEY NOT ALL MEN ARE TRASH’.

Now, I knew I had trash ways as a man and I didn’t want to look at them because ‘We all fall short’ but this isn’t the way to go about it. If you don’t fit in the scenario than keep it moving.

Some are qualified in the variables made – if you don’t fit the shoe, don’t even try to wear it. Our egos can be big and to check ourselves is the easiest thing we can do if our feelings start running amuck.

In short: We qualify which moves we make on the board. The best we can aim for is to even out. We don’t gotta get mad if it ain’t about us. One of the best things I learned from my grandmother is “Everything ain’t about you and trust me – that’s a good thing!.”

Y.C.D.T.

(You.Can.Dislike.This.)

Cuz it’s too weird. Cuz it’s Too long. You don’t like me. Cuz it’s boring. Cuz you wanna troll. Cuz think it can be better. Whatever The reason, yes – You Can Dislike This. 🙂

This video is a part of The Living Things 7 video collection.

BaManifesto💥

What’s gained is lost.

By the measures of reduction via conversion. You can’t have a proper conversation without some kind of reduction.

Don’t let this dismay or upset you.
Life is also about the giving and the taking. Basically: you gotta pay da bills.

I know – crazy right? You got to work to survive on a planet you didn’t even ask to be in. That’s a reason to be upset sometimes.

The less you have the more is expected to be given.

Society tends to be stupid. Yeah, I think you know that by now but it’s stupider than you think. Society forces you to talk when silence is needed.

You can’t do anything that is validated anymore because if your audience reach is everyone – you’ll certainly disappoint someone.

Hence the stupidity of society – you get framed when you ain’t even the picture. You won’t be able to please everyone because some people require different lengths of a garment for what’s fitted.

If you do it – it’s a REACH. If you don’t do it – you missed the opportunity to cash in. So either way // What’s gained is lost. The flow of what’s good comes at a cost.

How well are you counting the steps to what’s gonna turn into a disaster?

It’s only a matter of time before it all hits a landslide. Then BAM – you gotta deal with the explosive manifesto.

LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST!

You can burn with the fire of the sun and drown in the water of life. Before the alarm goes off you have to make sure you’re prepared. I’m doing what I have to do so I’ll arrive on time. This doesn’t stop, parallel winds that confuse you and aim to confiscate your jewelry and chains.

Before you know it, you’re left penniless and homeless.

No place to go only hopeful dreams to fill the void in your head. If only you invested your last change – your wallet would be fat and your cards stacked. The course of life left you with only the leaves of spring.

The wind remains a charm to your destination. Like a bag in the air- you’ll fly away with a random gust of navigation. The atom then splits and the party invites you to come and groove.

I’m cool on that as long as I don’t buy into thoughts that I can’t compensate. Beyond the light – we all ache to compensate for the darkness we have not yet found.

This darkness is within us and we can’t escape the pull of its fierce reality.

From the sadness of childhood contemplation, we then reach inside our souls. These tears are found within the wishing well of our remembrance. For we can not neglect the motions that have brought conviction to the current.

Waves are set and have boarded in a resistance that must be awakened. For sleeping in the dream is an alarm to our subconscious. It’s no wonder why we react because our childhood has been tortured.

The passages of neglect have been misplaced on the shelf. A book like this is to be remembered and the mirror shows us our deepest revelations. Honest trees are in our garden and those seeds were planted decades before.

The wind blows against the branches and when the moonlight shines – the darkness returns. Only to be remembered by a shadow cast by the dim light upon the roots.

Premonition, Paranoia, Fear or The Heart?

Can it be Premonition, Paranoia, Fear, or The Heart?

I feel something coming. It’s coming to arrest me. To lock me up inside a cell of confusion. I don’t want to get lost. I only want to be found at the bay of safety. I’m being stalked by the shadow. Everywhere I turn the light follows me but so does this shadow. I have no secret place away from this troubling feeling. I am taken away by the travels of fear and paranoia – they are driving me further into my shadow existence.

My feelings are witnessing to a Premonition that something is gonna arrive and it will leave me without reason or answer. Listening to the heart means sometimes doing the unthinkable. The heart might as well be our inward eyes. It sees what reality is for what it is made up out of. It can’t unsee what it sees. No matter how we try to put on the shades to protect ourselves from the radiation of what we see.

The longing for something better has once again returned.

I lie awake at night on fire, my core literally burns.

That familiar voice that is my own tells me to run and hide.

The only problem is that there’s nowhere to go; how can I run from my own insides?

Is it so bad to long for what’s unknown and simultaneously known?

I cry out, asking for help, asking simply to be shown.

Is it selfish that I want recognition for what it is I’ve done?

Even if I give all of the credit to the Ultimate One?

Is it selfish that I want it to be my name that is spoken?

Is it selfish that I want some appreciation, even a small token?!

It seems the only thing to do is wait until the end.

I must wait until our eternal lives are slated to begin.

Only then will these questions asked be answered with no bias.

When these notions of an ever-dwindling time are simply put behind us.

(Timeless Burning – Sylina D. Black)

This poem totally rhymes with my heart and the overall direction of this piece. Thank you again Sylina – for remaining right on time with your subject, motif, and genre.

The heart never lies because it’s beating to keep you alive. Navigating through the multilayered sound of the heart can confuse what fear, paranoia, or premonition offers. It’s best to start off with love because love returns everything to focus.

When you don’t have love to back things up, you are literally screwed. If love ain’t the backbone and foundation – you only have curse words and empty promises. Nothing ahead of you can make a clear path. You are destroyed with only memory and fainted desires to build with plastic wood. You can’t move to a safe place if love isn’t already your safe place. If you build with weak tools and equipment, eventually everything is gonna crumble and retire back to inflated wheels.

This is why love must be the champion in a relationship. If it doesn’t keep you coming back, love was never there. You believed falsely. You thought it was true only to find out you were robbed of honesty. You got hoaxed. Fooled by the enormities of emotion and pleasure.

You believed in what was real in the idea but false in reality. You gonna have to pay for this sacrifice by offering another promise. You won’t win this time, you’ll have to replenish it again. You lost but only to gain again consciousness. You gotta hit harder but only to the right target.

The Stretch of Ultimately (RGB)

Ultimately – who is poised to blame?

Ultimately – what is at the tissue?

Ultimately – where is the core?

Ultimately we arrive at variables independent of what you do or think. The motion of the unseen is what dictates the visible exercise.

Ultimately what we don’t know is slapped in the face by what we do know. What we know is what we go with – this isn’t to deny what hasn’t been solved – but to merely highlight the ultimate reality.

The degrees of RGB. The spectrum that allows multilayered light. Red, Green, and Blue // adding to the pallet to create many colors which differ from one another. When light is revealed – spectrums expand and we see kaleidoscopic variation.

Adding red to green yields yellow

Adding red to blue yields purple

Adding green to blue yields cyan

Adding all three primary colors together yields white.

So with color, there is perspective. There is a variation of opinion. With a mix of choice – there is a plural definition of understanding. People are often tossed in multiple color spectrums.

Ultimately extends its arm to reach the most final and conclusive argument. ULTIMATELY – is at the end begging to be acknowledged and seen for what it is. What really matters? What really comes full circle – what comes at the end is what really determines the Genesis.

The Dance of Perspective

The dance of perspective is one we each should qualify in our daily lives. When you think about the vast universe, and the multitude of stars in the solar system you can count down – the enormity from least to the greatest. The Macro and Micro. If you’re living a life according to a limited spectrum, you won’t see the vastness of the macro reality. We can often be arrested and when I say arrested, I mean completely cuffed by our own ideas. Take a moment to look in the mirror, and then look at somebody else. You won’t see the same person that’s in your reflection.

Dancing in perspective can be quite intimating at times. It’s like dancing in a public. Not everyone is willing to do it because they are afraid of who might look at them. What might they say? The fear of prying eyes can cage freedom and execution. Unless you are wearing a mask. Disguise is a clever way to get to the point without having to face the reality. Reality is a complex force in and of itself because well…What is it anyway? (Start by asking questions and also watching The Matrix Trilogy. :D)

Our senses help build reality. If you listen close enough you are better equipped at answering the next question. Reality deals with what is real, what can be determined by a series of tests. These tests can often influence our emotions, but emotions are not always corresponding to the truth of the music at the party. Yet everything is really dancing in some way of another. Rhythm seeks to invite our feet and hips to move accordingly. If you ain’t dancing it doesn’t mean the music isn’t playing – it just may mean your vibes require more bottom and funk. Nonetheless, the dance keeps going and you can either join in the music at the time or tune into your own stereo.

I made a video called ‘Perspective is The Truest Hero’ which explains the importance of perspective and how it comes out as heroic every time. It’s really all how you look at it.

Check out the video if you wish!

On another note, I invite engagement. I enjoy seeing what my perspective is able to find through the power of conversation. Characters in The Wind is centered on the Kaleidoscopic Vortex of perspective. The variations and spectrums are wide and colorful because we each are given unique experiences and these experiences are what gives us perspective. It’s not just our experiences but lessons that have been taught by others as well, which can enable a sense of knowledge. We all have access to this knowledge, the key to reaching it is by listening and corresponding to the music or the musician.

In Your Mind

Love the company of your mind. Go anywhere you wanna go! Explore the depths that are encoded in the halls of your intentions.

What I’ve learned recently, is that speaking inwardly is a much better reward than speaking without process of thought. Thinking is the smartest thing to do, and it can be a fun experience. (All the best jokes in the world begin in the mind!) Ever said anything to yourself and burst out laughing cause you shocked yourself how funny it was to think that?

It’s amazing what you find out, from speaking to yourself in your mind.

And one of the coolest things about it is, it’s all in YOUR mind and yours only.

(Even in the blink chances that you connect telepathically at the same time with another person. Even when that happens, you can say something to yourself and no one would really know…. 🙂

The best privacy in the yoUNIVERSE.

The Shadow Or The Person?

HA HA!! Life is Funny!

Revelation is the manifestation of the truth in a bigger way outside of yourself. You may think you know, but assumptions are led by the traces of your inner thoughts. It’s an extreme of paranoia, that can make one feel they KNOW why someone is doing something. Well, You don’t really know unless you ask and be UP front about your Quest (ion). Paranoia is a dramatic interpretation of possibility. So in other words, chill out. Not everything is about you and why not throw a party for that? Most people are minding their own business, with no regard to what you are engaged in.

*IF THEY ARE CONCERNED WITH WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR GALLERY – WELCOME THEM TO YOUR MUSEUM.* 😀

No need to explain what’s yours. Unless you really want to. Every day we are speaking optical illusions and with this form of communication, we are all subject to our own reality.

It’s art.

Two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different. The exchange of implication and assumption but all can be put to rest if we just SPEAK to the SOURCE.That is if you want to, or you can make up the story in your head and settle on what you THINK they mean. Either way, the narration of what’s happening, is literally linked to the shadow and the person.

ME=WE (THE GRAND PLURAL)

When I Think of Me, I Think We.

My understanding of plurality has sharpened through the course of specific singularities. In other words: The small and tiny particles of reality make up a whole. Atoms to the very spec contain multitudes of information. Because of this – Everything from Then to Now is repeating itself. We can identify with each other because at the core – I am You and You Are Me. Realizing this equips one with a serious freedom, one that expresses a smile. With this realizing, I’m taking charge of the fact – I don’t have to second guess my fruits.It’s all connected + I’m the reflection of what I begin to see. I’m in a grand arena with hundreds of mirrors.

If I move in the slightest, all of my reflections do as well. I manifest exactly where I decide to go next. It’s freedom in KNOWING: YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. You can harness the power to make up any truth in your reality. Fear can parade through paranoia like a drug, hallucinating every fleeting moment. Too close of proximity ignores the blind spots.

When you begin to trust in the moment, as they come, you can defeat the beast of anxiety. Being present and alert by buying into the frequency. Growing. Moving past. On with the present. Connected to The Now. Aware of the old, but alert to the moment. You Know? Listening‬.

Rareness // Traces

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Every single person is rare and will leave traces that only we can leave.

These unique and individual pieces of our entity are scattered throughout our lives – only to be felt and seen by someone else, not inside our window.

We carry in our essence, traces of creative ambitions and details which all point to who we are and where we want to go.

A fact remains.

No single thing has ever existed like YOU, which makes YOU Rare.

Rare to the point of benevolent discovery.

The same goes for everyone else.

When one stumbles across our path and can see clear indications of unique pattern and print, they may swoon or sway.

It’s not always what we do or don’t.

It’s merely our non-verbal communication along with our verbal performance that can inform someone on what you might think.

Our energy and how it Illuminates another’s route don’t always give us the glow we might know.

We often take for granted, the ways we achieve inspiration by simply being in the moment.

It starts with really what you know, then you can go from there.

Knowing what is inside of YOU and being true to what you know.

Take pride, in knowing your essence and your glow.

Not that you are the WHOLE – BUT that the pieces that YOU reveal, make up the WHOLE of each of us, as a collective.

We are each are our own storytellers.

The Traces are picked up from our experiences, the way we mold color and the ways in which we personify our various persuasions.

Redemption.

You excite me and make my thoughts – spend into suspension.

All of you.

I can’t deny what I wanna make you feel.

I wanna cause your actions to form into a battle.

Literally paralyzing you into a web of sticky cream.

Then I want to get rid of your syrup by sentencing your lips with the weapon of my passion.

Pouring into you sections – I haven’t shown to anyone.

But my youthful self when I first realized, how bad I wanted a girl like you.

Badly like the oceans – I seek to calm you in the midst of your trauma.

Again I wanna become a slave to your spell.

I want you to look at me so I can surrender my reservations to you.

Giving you my jokes and camaraderie so that your laughter is a temptation of undress.

Confess!

Confess so I can heal you by the meditative forgiveness I must pardon to you.

For the blasphemy of your presence writes onto the walls the need for redemption.

If my passions resurrect a savior to your transgressions – follow me into this bliss.

Heaven is our journey and we are saints as we relinquish into the fire of paradise.

Inspired BY The Muse Of Native Land.

Sex Shuffle

Shuffling between the cards laid about between my deck, many strangers of games – gaze in my incentive.

Aliens are these strangers with a unique knowledge that seems familiar.

They speak of this muse and how long she sought to travel down the line and within a consciousness of root.

She begged me to go deeper.

She closed my eyes with the whispers of her satisfaction

Then I woke up in the dream of her own existence.

Who was I really looking at anyway?

My vibrations begin to deceive the bed where I lied.

The question is: Do You Lie?

If you’re talking about if I sleep or not, yes I do.

I lie.

But it is not a lie of deception.

The more I try to explain, I then, I lose half of the reasons she came to me.

It happens so fast, I squeezed her frame and she reminded me she was only that a frame.

Many selections are now in play and they gather with a sequence of sex.

Sex which shuffles the cards of game or reality?

CONSUMED (O) COMA

CONSUMED COMA

The manipulation comes within the eagerness of gratification.

As the thoughts begin to seek into a throne where joy is indulged.

Curiously taking each step onto each height, the inflamed desires, are tickled.

Carried away into dreams and visions of what has become of your yearning settles within your engagement.

Now being kissed and caressed by the indignant lust – you’re propelled to fly higher into a monumental delight.

You’ve fallen into a deeply consumed coma.

Now what you hear and see are created, by the command of your endangered thoughts.

The dream and vision are only short-lived as the coma begins to break free from its trauma.

Announced in the awakening is the misguide of ecstasy, which comes only to court your charm.

It is in this misguidance, wherein the emotion of condemnation is sentenced against you.