The Hype!

it’s already been talked about! (& not for clout!)
BUT heard of and made stable! (cuz’ the will to come
through has been matched able!)

it’s hot!
but, hell is hotter than this!
it’s a knot – ignorance is touted as bliss!
if not,
for the kiss?
i’d be remiss…
to not add water to the pot!
a flame to burn – a candle to return, and a fire to rehire & fuel the stubborn mule!

it must carry over
via boat , bicycle, or range rover!
as long as the theme is put to focus! or else, hocus pocus?
with regard to the fleeting attention : it would be absolutely paramount of a mention!
for getting through is to also recognize the invisible CLUE!
this is why, the eye continues to spy and the hand signals a command…

the plight of such reverie may send one n2 a deeper sleep in search of hidden treasury
the enclosed notion which has kept me at bay to the ocean, is one that has been built by the dream
indeed : this memory is not what it seems
cuz by the actual suffering of a heat stroke, the gestures of the sun’s brush has alerted me woke!

the sweat dripping down my skin?
is enough to fill an ocean encouraging one to deep dive and swim!
turning our eyes into the waterfall of surprise !

it’s hot!
but, hell is hotter than this!
it’s a knot – ignorance is touted as bliss!
if not,
for the kiss?
i’d be remiss…
to not add water to the pot!
a flame to burn – a candle to return, and a fire to rehire & fuel the stubborn mule!

could this be : THE HYPE?
a measurable sensation found in the swipe?
when the up and down wishes to be found
by a glaring animation – sparks begin to fly over the packed out station!

the readiness of the fashionable affair
was declared imminently urgent, tho curtailed for the washer was out of laundry detergent.
so, instead of being dressed with conceptual and stitched made apparel, it was assumed the instruments should firstly be made sterile

everybody’s supposed to be a certain type?
Ha, according to the hype!
the wizard is forever beholden to their pipe!
said the smoker, who believed the hype!
the hardware was made soft and unable to properly function thus soon inviting the technician to work on this much needed junction!
but while attempting to stripe each light, the day could no sooner find the night.
grapes belonging to the vine deserve to be plucked and eaten when fully ripe!
said the greedy fox who was once more fooled by the hype!

it’s hot!
but, hell is hotter than this!
it’s a knot – ignorance is touted as bliss!
if not,
for the kiss?
i’d be remiss…
to not add water to the pot!
a flame to burn – a candle to return, and a fire to rehire & fuel the stubborn mule!

HISTORICAL FACT*

it is a historical fact! that the story has been played like an act !
there’s indeed a synopsis and sequel  …
but the characters and setting are not equal !



troubled is the fragrance that left me stained
reminded, tossed, inactive remains? spiked n’ chained !
i wish to train the cross left for me to bear
the markers are legislated : docile and unfair

it is a historical fact! that the lines are studied, written, & tracked!
there’s indeed a subject and plot …
but the producer failed at hiring the director’s slot !

whose forrest is being destroyed and whose lawn is in need of finely cut grass?
besides the mercenaries who only seek to exploit the working class?
BUT we’re kicking the glass so that it may fall
for this sound is a recall
that the shattering deposition of restricting forces may withstand even within an arid and calloused land/hand

it is a historical fact! that the story has been cracked!
there’s indeed hammers, screws, and drills ….
but the complex is yet incomplete, exempt from all the thrills!

we’re pumped y’all! ! 
cuz we’ve already been captured by a blood sucking thief
thus, certainly there’s no peace of mind or bodily relief
when in war – one can not simply refuse the score
only until the pedals and bullets are scattered on the floor
will the meaning of such sacrifice bum-rush the door

it is a historical fact! that the story has been stacked!
one coming in after the other, now the room is packed!
there’s indeed a selling point and central theme
one in which may create a distraction or a humorous meme ….

c3L3bRaT3, DiSrAt3!!!

i’m distracted by an invisible, obscene light! it’s beams have blinded my flight, my knees encapsulated very tight, as to not refuse this surrender in near sight. historically, the scenes have been rewritten by bourgeois state, propaganda page – it is of this unprecedented age – wherein our search for truth, has lost its REASON. yet, others mention : ‘tis the SEASON!

 

&…as much as i can appreciate ‘ALL OF THE LIGHTS’ which come with this very spirit and time, unfortunately the cookies and sweetness do not adequately rhyme. my *c3l3bration* is displaced _ for the pages have been spoiled through revisionist stains, an aroma so abhorrent it confuses your BRAIN!

they got you SOLD, through mere packaging and characters TOLD. Santa or Jesus come quickly, for the time is nigh! what stands to reckon with the shoulder and thigh? most of everybody seems to reside on the ‘merry fairy’ – hands full, chugging with a chug of hot cocoa and cider! they got their stockings full with Rudolph on call, if ever they’re in need of a rider. meats, staggering eyes, and holiday cheer! for ‘Christmas and ‘Knew’ is often wrapped as ‘The Most Holy Time of the Year’.

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but i’m feeling distant and enclosed, like an envelope that never reached across the shore. up and around with star clouds circling rain, crowning promises with heights capable of steady gain. stretched from bone to rock – appealing for breathable fiction to arise and flock. gathering clusters of ancient and mystical craze // finding delight in sensory history – wedged between mushroom and daisy blistery. according to a will that’s real and not faint. one couldn’t paint this taint through lecture of structure but by a compelling deal. which is what’s real. real as in real ISOLATION _ dislocated memories rewritten by highjacked and embezzled CONSTELLATIONS.

it’s been in the works for a long time! forgotten is the said formulation of demonstrable protest and awakening. narratives are then created to depict a revisionist herstory. changing the form from body to glory : extinguishing the spirit and orchestrating the story, thus leaving the remnants of this TALE – engaged in dichotomy, fought tooth and nail. with the essences of all that is taught and unlearned : i request of the guest of my soul – a quest that may reimburse the TOLL. for my mercies have been SPENT, bruised and hidden from the ears in where my whispers could VENT. 

 

for : the veil has been torn but also worn. through the mention of its appearance, you’re soon subject to its absurd adherence. we wear *with despair’ all of which, spontaneously comes our way. it is with this notion, that we fluctuate and dismay. but are we tempted to disguise – what may be left to surrender or arise? from out of the dark, hallow, and encrusted flame, our integrity is sentenced to return to a place where there’s no name. it rhymes with real but it’s not a shady deal. tho, invisibly embodied as spirit and intention, there is no mention – of the friction and tension – of the thin sheet which misplaces ones attention.
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N2021 – for 3 months, I shall rewind from Z 2 A and i must say: what was already said, remained laid – bare and uncovered on my bed. words which were misplaced and spoken and saved as a lifeline, have now been forged by the consequential flame of a spoiled vine – one that can be followed through***- one that can be played AHEAD. if you follow along, the buttons will connect with embroidery THREAD. so follow along with me from Z 2 A – many more animations and symbols to display!

010321 URISOPC RUISOPC

**** RUISOPC 3 MONTHS (3,7,10,14,17,21,28) // sunday’s, wednesday’s,saturday’s // instagram live, twitter, twitch, youtube, str3aming s3rvic3s, 3tc…***
UP UNTIL ‘URISOPC’ is released!

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH. 8: THE BIBLE BELT)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 2 chapters will resume respectively as follows : 
12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //

“don’t you hate it when your pants sag to the ground?!” when you’re constantly having to pull them up because they’re not quite fit around your waist? i suppose if you lost a little weight, it’s a surprise the first time around but it’s only a matter of time, before you’d need a belt!

pulling up the extra slack so that like your shoes – they’d be tied down onto you. if you’re walking around with pants that are too large for you, a belt is a necessary accessory. the belt ensures proper walking and comfort knowing you won’t be caught with your pants down. no one likes to be caught with their pants down or maybe you want everyone to know your favorite colored underwear with the penguins and strawberries. heaven forbid, anyone peeks at your preference of an array of arenas to display?!

if your pants are bigger around your waist, a belt fixes the doubt away. however, if you wore the near exact measurement for your pants – the need of a belt is not essential. TOMSON thought of this connection in relation to the bible belt in the South where he was born. what would happen if you took the belt off from Southern USA? no doubt the trousers would fall faster than a small speck that causes avalanches.

another question arises, why are some places wearing overly large trousers to begin with? could they be trying to cover up all that hides inside? wouldn’t they know when it’s time to protect their trousers from falling?

there’s lot of reasons for this but to save time and spare of you of a complicated history between the South, war narratives, statues, slavery, and mind control via the state – the easiest answer would have to be the comfort that traditions provide for people. TOMSON began to understand that, TRADITIONAL RELIGIOUS SENTIMENT for a lot folks is the belt which holds their pants up. it may not be the most stylistic belt, but it has an individual whole (reason) for the entire length of its build. so even if you grow out it, you can still come back to it and find a space.

the south has a charm about it unlike anywhere else In America (Where there’s no way in or no way out)’, TOMSON began to see. the sentiment behind “southern hospitality” comes to mind. the friendliness and warmness that can be experienced by a simple hello down the street or the warm offer of cold lemonade and tea to a stranger. (never without shade!)

people in the south tend to abide by normatives that are rarely challenged. TOMSON never ever really thought about going to church so regularly because that’s just the way it is OVER THERE. no one is sparred from gossip and the talk of “i heard” in fact you get so use to it, when someone is not talking smack you wonder what they’ll say about you, when you leave their presence to talk with someone else. that’s just the way it goes. people run their mouths especially in smaller towns like in SHREVEPORT.

the SOUTHERN BIBLE BELT holds together various traditions and practices and there is integrity found in some of these ways of life. for as much as there is southern hospitality, there’s also ‘southern stupidity’ and the stupidity in the south is usually reflected in a naivety of approach, most of which is not in service to the productivity of thought.

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there are various reasons one can point to where OBLIVION arises from, but one remaining fragrance which steadily lingers is RESISTANCE TO PROGRESS . the more you advance in the awakening of knowledge, there will be various rebukes to progress. it’s not E-Z to deal with the heaviness of rebuttal. a proper rebuke sends a tingling down your heart. TOMSON remembers most feeling it powerfully as a child, but this sensation remains present day. trying to listen to this rebuke anytime it shows up because naturally, it’s there to somehow teach YOU a lesson.*** “notwithstanding, not all rebukes are for the better, especially if you’re WHOPPED 3 TIMES AND NEARLY KILLED for following orders!”***

a rebuke of progress is one that is instilled from a place of indoctrinated belief. it tells you to not spread “THAT MESSAGE” because you can mislead the children. it tells you that the propaganda is a tool of manipulation. what they don’t ALSO tell you, is that propaganda can also be used for the benefit of education. much of what we have learned from society stems from a system of propaganda. if you want to present a RaDiCaL idea, you must package it in subliminal packaging. that way people won’t be able to tell (at least not directly) that you are giving them something KNEW.

if you are used to living a certain way for years, you tend to scoff at the possibility that another way of life can conquer this one. (but there are lives to come!)

the purpose of a tailor is to make sure you’re fitted and good to go. communicate honestly, for if there’s any one PERSON deserving of small talk – your tailor is a good bet, OBVIOUSLY. the more clearly you represent what you want // the more likely you’ll find what you intend for. what’s the point in lying about your size or pinching details before you’re meeting your tailor?

as Hollywood and revisionist history would have it, it’s very commonplace for the masses of the people to ignore the thousands of years of injustice. nothing is clearer to this sentiment than the all too present but antediluvian proclamation : “wEaReLiViNgInThElAsTdAzE!!!.”

TOMSON never understood this PHRASE for the “tHeLaStDaZE” as he understood it – have been the reason folks PRAISE. feeling closer and closer to a celebratory occasion in the sky! tHeLaStDaZE is all simply the mAZe!

TOMSON began to witness a recurring anniversary except, it only began on his own and thus and everyone celebrated this anniversary on their own. everybody was listening to various TiPs for their HiPs , he being even more determined to not TRIP – for that would qualify a DIP into a SeAsON that can’t account for any ReAsON. other than to judge and SpOiL, the grapes given to a life of peril and tOiL….

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH. 5 : TRANSITION OF TRADITION)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 5 chapters will resume respectively as follows : 


11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

When Tomson’s family moved to Albuquerque, everything seemed to naturally change. His family found a new church home called “OVERFLOWING RIVERS” and with a new church meant different ways of how he understood faith. It started with the doctrine known as Eternal Security. A doctrine that claims once you’re SAVED, you’re ALWAYS saved (OSAS).

This stood in stark contrast to HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL which emphasized one could loose their salvation – if not committed to works made to maintain a holy life. 

He was most drawn to OSAS because of his fascination with time and the idea of eternity and most importantly, eternal love that could not be disturbed. Tomson often thought : “If G-D loved me, would this last forever or was forever contingent, based on how good he performed in his everyday life?”

It made sense to Tomson that once receiving a gift of salvation, he’d always have this gift for life. It couldn’t be forged by personal behavior, in fact why would you even want to live a life of sin, after experiencing the best gift known? That was until Tomson came across Hebrews 6:4-6 : 

“For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted the heavenly gift, and have become partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, if they fall away, to renew them again to repentance, since they crucify again for themselves the Son of God, and put Him to an open shame.”

This was the scripture his Father used a leverage to the idea one can lose their salvation. At first glance, it made perfect sense. One could eat from the delights of enlightenment and then fall away. He debated this to his father faithfully “But it’s not true! He’d claim.” The bible also says in 1 John 2:19 “They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.” Tomson kept wrestling scripture with his Dad and peers for what felt like a very long time. he could not understand how people could read the same bible and take completely different meanings from the chapters and verses.

*”I heard somebody say: DiFfReNt LeNs, dIfFeRenT pEns!”*

This only encouraged Tomson to rebel even further. Why would he let anyone convince him otherwise? especially, when these mountains of clay could quickly be turned into a rock, castle, or a lumpy hassle! OVERFLOWING RIVERS was a vastly different experience from HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL. For starters, they did not seem so hung up on the Traditions Tomson knew to be common.

At HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL – Women were encouraged to wear dresses and never trousers/pants *if she did have pants on, judgement was quickly disposed to her*. She better not have any red or colored lipstick or fingernail polish either. At OVERFLOWING RIVERS in Albuquerque – these rules seemed to go out the pulpit. The people dressed as they liked and seemed to not care about how others perceived them, for their relationship with G-D was more important than the traditional customs others were accustomed to. 

The pastor was very vibrant and had a scream so loud, you’d think he could part the red sea with it. He always claimed, “God gave Moses his rod and he gave me my SCREAM!” The strength of his voice was reasoned with his ability to also teach in such a calm manner. As much as Tomson loved seeing people dance and shout to the music, he loved even more the teachings of the bible in a clear but humors dictation which fancied Pastor’s SCREAMER style of preaching.

FLASHBACK: 

While Tomson’s Family was always a religious family that went to church as often as three times a week in SHREVEPORT, much of that changed in Albuquerque. Just before Hurricane RAYKWAN struck, The local pastor and Bishop of their jurisdiction died suddenly at the start of the year. It was a huge blow for HOLY FIRE ON THE HILL.

Bishop and Pastor GRIN was a very charismatic and Holiness preacher who had very clear beliefs surrounding the way of holiness, but Tomson remembers him as a man with one of the biggest grins you could witness. Maybe that’s why his family tree gave him his ‘Grin’. His wife had one of the most tender voices that warmed you just by hearing her. Thus, his passing started a series of revivals which remained up until Hurricane RAYKWAN hit in August.

Tomson’s father was an Elder in the church who would sometimes preach whenever he was called upon. When Bishop GRIN died, his father was crushed and very distraught after his passing. It being one of the first and only times – Tomson remembers seeing tears in his fathers eyes. When moving to Albuquerque, his father made a clear declaration that he would never join another church again but start his own. It didn’t help that when the family decided to attend OVERFLOWING RIVERS for the first time : there was a woman sitting in the pulpit. Tomson remembers his father whispering to his Mum, that this was the last time he’d ever attend OVERFLOWING RIVERS.

110720 WTMTOFCH5 TOT

Thinking about that day really astounded Tomson, to realize his father was sat THAT far back in his ways. His dad studied the bible consistently. Tomson would nickname him “YELLOW JOURN” because he’d always read through the yellow legal pad notes alongside with his bible AND Tomson reckoned his bible was heavier than usual, because it was weighted down with all of the yellow highlighters. YELLOW JOURN always had his HUGE black bible with scattered notes and highlighters on a desk and would read constantly. He was a walking bible that could quote a scripture directly from memory, if someone had said something that reminded him of the scripture. *Strictly KING JAMES* – he stayed armed and ready to defend what he believed and could show you where to find it IN THE TEXT!

Shortly, after moving to Albuquerque – YELLOW JOURN went about the business of being a pastor. He’d rent plaza spaces in the local city and started to hand out programs in the streets. Tomson’s mother, 2 sisters, and brother RAPTUS, would join him for a few Sundays until eventually his sisters stopped going completely. His sisters were much older than TOMSON AND RAPTUS and as such, lived their own lives quite quickly especially as Sunday were concerned.

Tomson preferred going to OVERFLOWING RIVERS rather than his father’s church because it was something new and there was a huge choir with a great organ player. Which meant more dancing and a good feeling! At his Father’s Church : THE WORD TEMPLE there was no organ player or choir – mostly just his mother and brother save a few other guests from time to time.

this was a time : wherein Tomson also was hearing conflicting bible approaches. YELLOW JOURN being the strict holiness or hell preacher found the influence of Pastor SCREAMER, incredibly heretic. “You shouldn’t let them go to that church, they are preaching all kinds of things that doesn’t align to how we were taught” YELLOW JOURN would say to his wife MISSIONARY ‘LIVION *** Lo and behold – Tomson’s grandmother GRANNY LIGHT was the one who eased the peace as she preferred going to OVERFLOWING RIVERS. 

She loved the community of people there and how they showed a lot of grace after knowing the family were victims of Hurricane RAYKWAN. GRANNY LIGHT wasn’t too keen in joining THE WORD TEMPLE – which was only recently just starting out in a hotel lobby at the time. She wanted to go somewhere where people knew her, and she made friends quickly.

It became a fixed order of meet and greet for Tomson and his brother RAPTUS. both of them waking up at 8:00 AM on Sundays for their father’s Sunday Service at 9:00 only then to leave right around 11:30 to pick up their GRANNY LIGHT and take her to OVERFLOWING RIVERS just in time for Mid-Day service at 12:00 PM. This became quite the routine, but Tomson was happy for it to suspend because he and RAPTUS – really started to challenge what their Father was preaching. It frustrated Tomson that his approach to the bible was so black and white despite the many highlighters which made him YELLOW

They stood up to him both, about the delivery of his message. They thought he was too tough and he very rarely preached the love of G-D. Being very tired of hearing about hell, fire and brimstone. They wanted to know about the gifts of the spirit that bred love and compassion. But YELLOW JOURN didn’t like them constantly challenging him and eventually told them they didn’t have to come to his church if they didn’t want to. 

Much of his delight and theirs, they would just wait until 12:00PM to go and pick up GRANNY LIGHT and head over to OVERFLOWING RIVERS. Everything was changing and Tomson was becoming more aware about the present urges in his body and mind. However, he was wrestling with fear like never before. He’ll never forget the one moment as a child that jumpstarted the fears he had about going to hell, which happened only a year before.

After one Sunday School at FIRE ON THE HILL there was often food you could purchase at the back of the church. They served burgers, fries, and cold drinks! Tomson always looked forward for Sunday School to be over, so he could eat a great lunch. He’d walk over to GRANNY LIGHT and asked her for 2.50$ so he could get a combination meal. GRANNY LIGHT always seemed to feel quite generous as she gave Tomson a 2-dollar bill and two quarters. 

Tomson walked over to the counter and ordered his food. After calling his name to pick up the order, MOTHER VIRGINIA noticed him and asked Tomson if he could buy HER a burger and fries. *THIS WAS SURELY A TEST OF HIS FAITH!!!* Tomson reluctantly, told her he only had enough for himself. MOTHER VIRGINIA then proceeded to tell him : “That G-D loves a cheerful giver and if he were not happy to give – he might land into HELL with gasoline underwear!!!” Tomson began to visualize this picture in his mind and it was THAT G-D which seemed to always be angry. 

Tomson not long after this moment, wanted nothing more than to be informed and taught all of what he should do to please G-D. Therefore, he studied different doctrines and statements of faith – trying to understand the intention behind such convictions. He followed his father’s YELLOW JOURN footsteps and started to write down notecards of bible verses and studied doctrines and differences heavily. So much in fact, that he started getting a mild reputation for being a preacher around his school in Albuquerque. 

Tomson held a passionate EISEGESIS approach // which is one that leads INTO the text whatever you wish to make out of it. This seemed to be largely everyone’s approach to stories anyway. One that imagines and creates whatever the MINISTER wants to bring out of it. It wasn’t until they moved to Albuquerque – until Tomson understood the opposite of EISEGESIS – EXEGESIS, a method which leads OUT OF the text. 

Tomson had a greater understanding of how easily one can be misled by whatever the SINISTER decides to spin on scripture. He loved going to bible studies on Wednesday because Pastor SCREAMER became TEACHER WHISPER as well and would just talk to the congregation about various topics. Often challenging ideas which were commonly believed at FIRE ON THE HILL. (Could it be that the OVERFLOWING RIVERS DROWNED OUT THE FIRE ON THE HILL INSIDE?) 

Tomson began to realize his traditions were transitory – as such his voice was a part of a much greater congregation! A song was soon encouraged to be sang, but this time? in unison!

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE! (CH. 3) : WORLDS WITHIN THE WORLD

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 7 chapters will resume respectively as follows:
// 10.21.2020 //

11.7.2020 // 11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

 

 

what’s true is that WE live in the world. this is a large world when you contextualize the enormity of the milky way (100,000–120,000 light-years in diameter and about 1,000 light-years thick, but up to 400 billion stars are located within it) earth is stuck in the milky way and we’re living in world with billions of other organisms. when you factor where law and order come into place, morality starts to feel like a joke. not only that, but everyone has different versions of morality, some say they’re in on a BIG secret.

one way i explain ‘Belief’ to people would be me liking to the process of belief to play-doh. the funny kind of slime which becomes anything you want it to be according to your imagination. you can make an intricate mansion filled with the most expensive chandeliers and tile flooring or a shack with busted windows with belief. it could either be THIS or THAT.

it’s been estimated people lie on average about a hundred times per day. why is this? it could be fear, cynicism, poor self-image, societal norms, and a host of many other things. what does this say about the nature of our world?

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WORLDSWITHINTHEWORLD

next time you hear someone tell you that “you live in your own world!”. tell them YES and so do you! i have always seen conversation as not only ‘paradise’ but a very a shakeable world. this is a world we must always engage within because we can’t live for too long alone without talking to someone else or wanting company.

the more you talk to people – you expose yourself to other galaxies and perspectives which are not held by your hands. somebody who talks to a lot of people not only expands their worldview, but create a space for self-reflection. it’s extremely important to point out the flawed veils we use to hide our true faces.

religion, politics, and overall systems in general respond to their own rules embedded in those particular said systems.

*so, talk to me human being. i don’t always want to hear what your doctrine says. i want to know what your heart says.*

we can already see where someone is going when they reveal to you, an window of their worldview. if someone tells you early that they are a vegan, recommending them to a spicy chicken joint isn’t useful to them. this of course, does not mean that they won’t use that opportunity to remind you why you should not eat chicken or meat at all for that matter.

so, choose your battles wisely. if someone believes we are all doomed but unable to talk to strangers unless they are warning them of damnation – who can talk to someone with that kind of assurance of indignation directed towards them?

there remains a market for selling fear. by making people afraid then telling them afterwards: “here is the answer! trust in this! give your life to this! believe in this and you will be saved!” while this is some people’s rhetoric – it’s also religion at large. since we’re all walking around with our fears about society, this fear can be exploited in favor of alien medicine.

medicine that does not attempt to solve the root behind the issue. fear can still be a helpful emotion, to navigate through the wilderness but better when it’s via fearlessness! we all go through the wilderness at some point and some do not walk with us among the trees. how many of us are living lonely? probably a large percentage of us! whether it’s feeling like a stranger in your own home or incomplete when provided with all the resources to succeed.

loneliness is often seen as an infection that spreads through every bodily and mental function. it also can feel like the biggest form of irony when you think of how surrounded we are on this planet. there is no shortage of NOUNS but it doesn’t remove the resounding emptiness that often visits us.

loneliness is also a symptom of depression. while you don’t have to be clinically depressed to be lonely, studies suggest that those who are depressed often feel lonely. throughout life, loneliness is unpredicted but nonetheless sure. there is no full rhyme or reason for it – but it happens at a cost far too unbearable. loneliness is a knock that comes at your garden gate. it’s a brutal knock that always feels uninvited when it arrives. sorrow is made known by reduction and emotion lingers from the heart. this isolation is an inadequate room completely colored by tears and memories which beg for company.

“why did you have to leave me all alone?” this sense of loneliness is encouraged when those close to us – seem to be so far removed from our company. this embrace is one that must happen alone. the departure of acquaintance – leaves us all here on earth with sudden surprise. the clouds steady move and change form. what is it that you see in the clouds anyway?

are elephants high up above or are seahorses standing in an ice cream cone? do you see eye glasses or wheels from a tow truck?

the alphabet of the clouds are spoken by transitions which you can’t keep up with. (they change all the time, silly!) the same things which connect are the very threads which alienate. it’s amazing how glue can also halt a connection from continuing. the same people who are found in your community are the ones that can be distant to you upon changing transitions.

i’m thinking of the church here, it serves as a community of people intended to encourage and build around the gifts of the people. the church, however: remains a social club which presumes to accept everyone *at the moment* of their membership. after a while, their conviction is then challenged based on the testament of faith. the moment you go against the current – the waves then silence you to the alter of prayer. “i’ll pray for you” to repentance but if one doesn’t turn away from *backsliding* – sooner or later they’ll be banished or ostracized completely for not changing their ways for the faith. 

the one thing that brought you to the church is then intended to be removed from you, the moment you continue in your sinful ways. they’ll continually pray for you though – because they believe you can conquer the stumbling block in your way.

in the following chapters : i will unpack various accounts experienced through the lens of a child growing up in a saved, sanctified, and holy-ghost filled background! The quest soon began for Tomson and whether the word from the Donkey came from God or from what was considered Wrong? Was it a typo or his faith which led him to his fate?!

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH.2 : DIFFERENT LENS, DIFFERENT PENS)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 8 chapters will resume respectively as follows:

10.14.2020 // 10.21.2020 //

11.7.2020 // 11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //*

where do homeless people get their sharpies? i reckon the cardboard and boxes are easy to find from dumpsters and surrounding trash on the streets, but sharpies are not as common as a pen. i asked someone on hope postponed avenue and they wondered the same sentiment. telling me, they’d usually just borrow the sharpies another homeless person had. sometimes asking strangers coming into stores to buy for them. one story they shared with me was being on a Walgreens corner and asking a stranger walking into the store for a pack of sharpies. to their surprise She came back with sharpies, cardboard, scissors, sticky notes, paper clips, staplers and glue. after receiving the bag of goods, they replied to the customer “damn, i ain’t in an art and crafts class! i’m just trying to create a billboard for some snacks and cigarettes but thank you anyway – i may find this useful!” i’m not sure if they meant it as some cruel joke or what – bringing them all those materials, but i’ll never forget that story! you can use any of those tools to help provide a path for access.

transformations are never as cut dry as the media would have you believe. it takes time, and this isn’t a blink like we are led to conclude. this idea that transformation is instant like oatmeal is misleading and distorting the true chain of alchemy. it takes time and several series of transformations. one can not always prepare for the swift and sudden appearances of change.

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meeting new people is probably one of the easiest ways to calculate how swiftly their impact on your life changes you. what was it like when you first met your best friend? or your loved ones? you usually remember how your life was like before they came into it and how it changed after their appearance. people have an amazing ability to influence and even at times – shift your behavior for the better or for the worst. 

there is a common phrase i grew up hearing. “evil company corrupts good morals” which was another way of saying that good people who hang out with evil people can corrupt their behavior. “come out from among them and be separate, says the lord and i’ll receive you!” (2 corinthians 6:17) there’s a slight justification in this comparison but it requires a bit more understanding as to not be accepted at face value. for one, hanging out with someone who writes differently from you or speaks differently doesn’t equate to corruption. it’s one thing hanging out with someone who has similar interests and a common foundation. for instance, it could be very hard to be friends with someone who speaks a different language than you or has different cultural norms. unless the both of you are willing to learn how to communicate and understand why one has a different approach.

new insight springs different ways of thinking about things you probably wouldn’t be able to conjure up on your own. different lens, different pens. while this much seems obvious, it’s often forgotten through our interactions with people and the host of stories they carry with them. i would always hear while growing up in the church “don’t judge nobody because you never know what they’re going through” yet there was judgement for people who did things they believed were sinful. 

it’s true we don’t know what someone is going through or what they went through which led them to that point. we’re all like animals in Noah’s ark pretending our shit doesn’t stink like the one next to us. people come with a host of ideas engineered by complex functions that most of us will never uncover completely.

it’s very typical of humans; to make judgements on our interactions with strangers (or even friends) but it’s another game completely, to vocalize our misunderstandings in a way that exempts us from the same rules of judgement. 

people just want to make sense, we often neglect that work it takes to get to understanding. it takes work to be a scientist, but you don’t have to study the stars from a telescope to understand their light and distance. most people really want to get to the bottom of what you are saying. the top may be hard to get, but the foundation *while invisible to most eyes*, still deserve investigative research. the less you say? the better!

people don’t always expect performance but your behavior is what tells people the destination of your words.which is why we must perform! the unexpected wallowing wow is what guarantees the right now. live in it. breathe in it. listen to the moment, when the moment is yours. you are always going to be thinking in your mind. people will also take what they want to take from what you say.

to some degree, we all have selective hearing – hearing what we want to hear or at least what we wish to deal with. *using our utensils ever so gently cutting away the regenerative necessity  while savoring the fat.* those bits and pieces do make sense to the story in our head if even for a moment. when getting to the truth – we got to get through the lines.

the lines AIN’T ALWAYS EASY to uNdErStAnD which is why we *LIKE Jesus did* swirl with our fingers in the SaNd. while seemingly ignoring the accusers but actively writing N2 the gRoUnD. it appears as if there was no volume or SoUnD. EvEnTuAlLy n’ EsSeNtIaLlY – you arrive at the point where you dialectically challenge the ScReAMeR & that is not even the w0rSt : they will STILL command you to water their ThRiSt! we needn’t bow down in dIsTaStE regarding what others perceive as WaStE! if somebody got something to SaY? welcome them to your gallery, without dElAy! we all have all kinds of cool shit on our walls and CeIlING. enough to make them find aw3, introspection and even hEaLiNg! if they want to know the context behind the colors you choose to DiSpLaY alongside with the shapes that you decide to geometrically oUtWeIgH? if they are ever so curious, about your choice of FrAmInG and where the goal post to your composition is aImInG? may you spread down the red carpet of opportunity and when the cameras start flashing in their FaCE? sign their purchased copy of your embedded gRaCe! ! !

WEIGH THE MINUTE! TYPO OR FATE? (CH.1: OVER HERE? AIN’T OVER THERE!)

*This is a 10 chapter endeavor that will be completed on December 21, 2020. The remaining 9 chapters will resume respectively as follows:

10.7.2020 // 10.14.2020 // 10.21.2020 //

11.7.2020 // 11.14.2020 // 11.21.2020 //

12.7.2020 // 12.14.2020 // 12.21.2020 //

how does one weigh the minute? they live in the moment when the moment is theirs and this means measuring up, what you have in the moment and what you wish to do with it. when things move faster than our abilities to catch up it’s exclaimed: NOW WAIT A MINUTE! we are encouraged to take things slowly, otherwise you’re in the position to be ran over or you might be faced with the surprise spit mid sentence.

“iLlEgaL pArKeD cArs WiLl Be FiNe!”

:eVeRy TiMe yOu mAke a tYpo, tHe ErRoRiSts WIN:

yOu MaY SpElL a WaY BuT dOn’T fOrGeT tO wEiGh ThE MiNuTe!

typos aren’t always fun especially if they are sent to the wrong person. at the same time, typos can be very funny because the other person may be able to get what you were trying to say. some letters are not too far from each other while other times, the distance seems unreasonable. i find myself becoming like a detective trying to pick up the pieces and to connect them when they are scattered. 

Vanilla Paper Trails

technology doesn’t always get our words right. in fact, typos are about as natural to texting as using the wrong name for occupations and professions. considering how busy life can get, it’s very difficult to catch a mistake. which begs the question – was it a mistake or was it fate? 

some mistakes lead us to our destined fate. it doesn’t mean that fate was guided by a power beyond our control. somethings happen mindlessly without purpose to origin. someone can misconstrue what you meant long before you had time to correct what you said. once you write it down if not arrested by the urgency to proofread – it will come out exactly how it was written. 

sometimes we may have this advantage while other times we may find out too late. what can you do about a typo? maybe if we are to weigh our moments before we react or even make them – we’ll be in a better position to defend what we said. but where’s the fun in that? typos show us a glimpse of a world where absurdity takes the front seat. how fun is it to get what someone said, and it be made to mean something else? intent influxes with delivery….

the burning need to be right and to correct what was written is natural some of us. what do I stand to gain if i am right – i stand to gain more when i’m wrong for then i have a better understanding of what can be corrected. unless, my time is running out and i have only a little time to make it right. maybe if we are to take every moment and weigh it by the measures of our experiences – we can sit back and ask ourselves: “was this a typo or fate? and by fate, i mean a type of faith that believes it happened through the synchronicity para//el.

over here? : ain’t over there!

when you’re pointing in a direction and someone still gets it wrong – it’s only a matter of perspective. left and right are completely subjective terms that require context at the point in which you stand. over here ain’t over there. this is a reality we often forget.

“lEfT to write ! right to READ! brush to break a part the fat & GREED! UP & DOWN, side to sLiDe – foam through the mix and gLiDe!”

again, the allegory remains, if life is like one big highway; some of us ain’t going to the same places. 

if you’re on one corner but your mind is in another, you fell victim to distraction. there’s a reason for this because now more than ever, there is so much activity readily available to take your time and energy without much effort. you may be reading this page right now thinking about the food you could be eating or the song you hear in the background. all these things are calling your attention and if you focus enough for a short period of time, before you know it – you won’t even realize how entrapped you are by your own thoughts. you are not always aware of what causes sudden changes. until you study the decoys hidden right in front of your face!

KNOWLEDGE BY FLOATING // MARSHMALLOW OF CONFUSION

for all that can be known – floating seems to be the only option when you’re in the sea of interrogatives. you’ll never land because there is no seat in the game of life. ain’t no couch or love seat. there is only ascension to go higher. when you start to read about the rules of the game, if you’re taking the game serious, you’ll be motivated to change your tactics and plan.

knowledge is a tool and one that is given to us freely if we open our hands. the state of knowing is a process, but it is what you do with the knowledge which transforms your state of being. the key to swimming is floating but to do this you must be comfortable with the water. i was afraid of water since childhood, because i had a few occasions where i nearly drowned. i would float on poor floatation devices and always landed in the water struggling for air.

it was Bruce Lee who said: “Be like water, my friend.” 

water flows and water goes // where? who knows! 

the idea of being settled in certainty can be very demanding. as water keeps going and flowing – an eternal destination can seem confining. it’s commonly accepted that knowledge is power, and power should be fun! superheroes are fascinating and appealing because of the special ability they have which transcends the barriers we are commonly subjected to. superheroes can fly. blast into a sudden telekinesis. become invisible for a spell.

this is power. power endowed to them with the strength to defeat whatever may come their way. yet, something this powerful can’t be taken too seriously. it must also be fun. although, when having too much fun, people tend to think you can’t possibly be serious as well. why is this? why can’t we have fun and maintain knowledge at the same time? when i found this new wave of knowledge of floating people started to think i lacked morals and principles. i’d constantly be told that people were praying for me because i lost my way.

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every school of thought has their own perimeters with their specific laws, uniforms, and ethics. even those who profess ‘free thought’ still seem to have a rubric about how free your thinking can go. as free as i believed myself to be – i still restrained myself and put on a different uniform of thought. how different can we be when we still borrow the same tools our ancestors have passed down to us? a change of course can appear as life changing if you never gave it much thought previously. 

Yet, the knowledge of something new doesn’t always guarantee that you’ll stay above the water. While we get out of one box, we place ourselves in another. i have now come to accept that it’s not that we don’t like boxes, we just prefer the boxes WE put ourselves in. If we’re comfortable and content that’s all that matters.

at least, up until the point when we thirst for something new and driven to irritability because it’s tew much!when you come to some uncongenial truths, everything slowly starts to change. This can be an uncomfortable truth. probably a bit more uncomfortable than the results that proved to be of the nature that you preferred.

to be misunderstood or even challenged doesn’t have to mean our demise. if we are all encrypted with a special combination of sorts – whose job is it to understand the key? how can a computer know which mode to follow if it did not make the individual choice to respond to the code already established? When you discover life is more nuanced and complex than you believed – you think of all the people you judged and made responsible through your ignorance and misinformation.

maybe they’re floating on a marshmallow cloud? when one can see what they once were – judgement tames like a saucer in the waters. floating because you’ve been filled WIDTH measures beyond what they can see!

while growing up, my grandmother always had a bag of marshmallows around the house. (just because she knew how much i loved them) i could eat a whole bag in a one setting. she taught me how to make rice crispy treats with them. i never quite gave up my fascination for the comfort of a marshmallow! i loved how soft and buoyant they were! they were comfortable and tasty. it’s the one of the only things we can eat that resembles a cloud. much like how marshmallows are capable of resonating with our humor. i crack myself up! nobody gets it but me usually. some say it’s my wit others just think i’m confused. when drawn to the absurd of reason – i find a mellow seat. confused only as it relates to knowledge and where i could potentially go…

 

here we are: resting on a marshmallow puff of confusion. a pretzel cloud resembling animalized reality and dystopian illusion…

At the heart of confusion tends to be a yearning for the heart to understand what created it in the first place. When you know, you take that knowledge and ultimately create a path towards understanding and then applying that said knowledge. But we already knew that as I’ve already repeated various things by only changing the dress. The tailor remains the same, but different kinds of fabrics, colors, accessories and details add a whole new approach. If already at this point it appears to have gotten redundant because of the same things being said differently – don’t wallow in your confusion. Eat a marshmallow by the fire and get comfortable. If there’s no fire, get comfortable wherever you see fit and allow this comfort to hit the acceptable target of your desires.

IN WHY SEE? WILDCARD!

110719 IYCWC

7 letters…

N E W Y O R K

i’ve been looking to find the words to describe my trip to NYC. this was my first trip there and i knew before i arrived – i wouldn’t see half of it. (much less a slither of what it offers) there’s so much HISTORY – so much i presumptively imagined MYSTERY, would be hard to find. this couldn’t be further from reality; as i still long, to unlock the gritty sensation that makes up this BIG CITY! 

for starters: IT’S AN ISLAND! surrounded by water. as my plane landed – i couldn’t help but marvel at all of the water this metropolis is engulfed by. many have spoken about the skyscrapers, lights, subways, people and RATS! (shout out to the whale like rat which ran in front of me and my friend!) if i could try to describe this elemental sensation of feeling, it would be in a series of acronyms. all of them representing each selection and detail of the here, now, and soon. 

most of the time when you tell people you’re going to NYC – people wanna know WHY?! you’re repetitively reminded of how EXPENSIVE IT IS! (& that’s not a lie) how it’s dirty. The Pickpocketing! how it’s being GENTRIFIED (which is absolutely the case) and many other crucial aspects to consider when traveling there or much less – if you wish to live there. What seems to be the case is that the NYC of today is nothing like it use to be. i considered all of this into focus before traveling. i didn’t want any surprises but at the same time, i expected this experience to completely invigorate my prospects….AND THAT IT DID.

i didn’t nearly see as much as i wanted but i did get to meet and spend time with some of my favorite people. as a content creator, i’ve been blessed to meet people from all over the world. many of which connect to me via my youtube videos, blog posts, and other related media i’ve made throughout the years. i barely make the ‘000’s threshold. despite this, somebody somewhere saw whatever it was. reached out. conversation was had and the lost was then FOUND. thank you all for following along! ❤

like a recipe to a delicious meal – you can count on faithful mesmerization. you know it’s gonna be good when you register with the ingredients. (POPEYES CHICKEN SANDWICH MAKE NOISE!) Sam took this quick video as I bit into the goodness. 😀

with anxiousness leading into me the next – i am sitting at the table with various cards – one of which is a…IMG_7490

SOMETHING ABSOLUTELY INSANE. (IN THE MEMBRANE) INSANE IN THE BRAIN~! i feel we are at the cusp of a significant eclipse. We are always at the dawn of something. i’ve been asking people lately, if you could name this chapter in your life, what would suffice? 

MANY words may come to mind or maybe none at all? we are in this wrestle of noise and silence and we are guided by either the impulse to remain or shatter the dishes. 

the awareness of seasonal depression is one that knocks loudly when you feel november walking hands with gusty winds. if not provided a temporary temple against such typhoons – the measure of your outfit is better DECKED with layers, scarves, beanies, gloves, AND ALL DAT! The seasons do indeed change and so must our attitude around this fact.

*SELAH*

All of us are dealing with a lot at the moment. we’re all spinning in life’s web // trying to figure it out. traveling can help expand your perception about how small our bubble is. we can always go DEEPER and HARDER (of course that comes with the upkeep of such energy) as it would seem – the world is not simple to understand, though complex, there is still the ability to search.

if we do not take such leaps and risks, we often fall prey to the usual command of the cycle. i am identifying with the ways i have become stagnant. (the lounge chair and all) it’s very easy for all of us to do. especially when your approach to life is sort of like the wind. there will always remain rules in the universe but the wise one knows when to break them or to reimagine them, in ways which best serves the situation. 

So many thunderstorms lay hostage in my mind and i’m only now breaking them free.(writing down thunderstorms means knowing also which eye of the storm is worth the explanation.) as I gaze out the window of my solitude – i find strength in writing down miscellaneous items that should be fulfilled.

whether, we are praying or actually writing a list down  – a request for improved outcomes is never dire. it can be very hard and challenging to look and examine our failures because it then creates a space of introspection. AND WHO WANTS TO SEE IN FULL FORCE A REFLECTION OF RANDOMIZED REALITY?

*Ever take a photo of yourself on accident only to find out how you really look at random seconds* 

headass
headass

NYC revealed to me that everyday can be a wildcard. every moment is a choice to imagine and fulfill. the scratch continues to inform the reason – what is the source of this irritation? can we be tongue tied with reason and delusional thinking all at once? What better pathway to clarity than a series of questions and guesses?

i’m finding my voice while still lounging in a marshmallow chair. The fight to keep it going and to just let things fall as they go is a CONSTANT BATTLE. when you see how things are // how they can be // how they were // how they feel now – the rabbit hole continues…

faded shades of multi-colored attempts and possibilities that never made it down the runway. clothes just hanging in the closet waiting to be worn for the right occasion. yet, the occasion never comes because you are waiting for it instead of just stepping into the wildcard.

here is where it gets even more challenging – the reality of failure can cause extreme lost.

but now i’m at a point where i crave deduction. i believe somethings should be lost and exempt. when examining everything we receive on the constant bases – sure some things would benefit being off the menu. By losing, we are gaining the space to acquire more. carrying too much means losing the energy to do anything with what you got.

i know now that my ramble has opened a different scene – I have escaped in a place I like to deem the random collisions of thought. (mental craze!) i am in a visible crossroads. a place where colors and shapes have had more voice than literal words. only now, these words must come to life and find motion in the physical.

imagination gives birth to ever changing scenarios. additions and deductions are a part of the cycle – the words continue and the pen never runs out.

READY OR NOT = it is coming. i don’t know what ‘IT’ may be to you but it’s coming. a confirming realization that speaks with no words only silent affirmation. like a head nodding to a beat that’s beating on the 2n4. it’s closer – by saying yes to the wildcard of selection. we are placed in a position to connect with the variations of outcome and proceed accordingly.

MIGHT // ABLE

The following script is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…’ which is due to release at the beginning of 2019.

Maybean: Hey Fo’sho!!! I was thinking about bringing to light an idea that has been stalking me in the back of my mind.

Fo’sho: Really Maybean? Why don’t you bring it into light, that way you can see if it’s a good idea or not?

Maybean: Perhaps I will. It would be nice to see what was done in the dark manifested in the light.

Fo’sho: Let’s do it. I’ll get started on the preparation.

Maybean: Well, I’m not ready yet, I’m still working on the basic idea.

Fo’sho: Let me know when you are ready, I can help you with the basic layout. If you don’t mind.

Maybean: That would be cool. I’ll try to remember when I get all the ideas in a clear format.

Fo’sho: You sound hesitant against my help.

Maybean: Well perhaps, I’m just not totally clear about what I want to do, yet.

Fo’sho: I’m capable of following out the plan for you?

Maybean: But the plan is still haunting me. It’s like that word that is on the tip of your tongue, that you can’t fully pronounce. Like seeing the picture in your head but being unable to illustrate all the fine details.

Fo’sho: You rarely if ever get the details fully flushed out. I can help with that if you are willing to receive my help. I need more than your willingness. I want you to sign my name so that I can show up on time.

Maybean: However, I am not totally sure if this idea is as fluid as you see it. If I work this idea with you, it won’t just be my idea but ours. You might add to it somethings I don’t want to be in it.

Fo’sho: How would you even know, if you haven’t even got the basic idea out?

Maybean: I suppose you are right.

Fo’sho: I volunteered to help you bring it out of the midnight corners of your mind. Whatever is out there in the dark may be bulky and less specific– you may be unable to do it on your own. We can collaborate on this together, if you want.

Maybean: I suppose, I don’t know? The way I measured the idea in my mind was just a scent and shade of something that had the potential to be bigger. It is not capable of letting me go. (*I don’t believe the idea will be given to someone else*.) I don’t have to say it over and over for me to remember it. It only takes once, and I’ll go back to it until when I can fully build on it. Perhaps, you can help me bring it out, a little later? Once I pull it beyond the shadows?

Fo’sho: Understood. By the way,

remember that script I told you, I was working on?

Maybean: I think I know which one you’re talking about.

Fo’sho: Well whether you think you know or have simply forgotten, that script is already done. I’m waiting for it to be edited so I can submit it to my publisher.

Maybean: The reason why I say, I THINK is because you never clarified which script you were talking about. You had several scripts you were working on. I wasn’t sure.

Fo’sho: My bad, I’m talking about the script about the drug planted by the government and addictive prostitutes entwined to it.

Maybean: I don’t recall that script? It matters none! Cheers! I’m glad you finished it.

Fo’sho: Yep, I been working on it for months, but I remained disciplined and I finished it before the due date.

Maybean: That’s remarkable!

Fo’sho: Have you ever thought about abiding by a specific guideline to help you bring out your ideas to light? It could help with your productivity. It helped with mine!

Maybean: Nah, I haven’t thought much about that.

Fo’sho: Well wouldn’t you want to try it now that you see it may work for your benefit?

Maybean: I May do that. I mean, you don’t see me suggesting to you my method of flushing out ideas not because you can’t do it but because it never occurred to me that you might find it interesting.

Fo’sho: My method seems more productive, but then again, I haven’t tried yours.

Maybean: And neither have I tried yours.

Fo’sho: I guess we both got work to do. Or we can continue blind? I suppose it doesn’t make much of a difference, if we arrive to the same lines of action.

Maybean: Our lines may be similar – they don’t got to be the same – you do your thing and I’ll do mine!

REQUESTS // CAFÉ

The following script is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…’ which is due to release at the beginning of 2019.

Double D: Hey, Mike can you buy me some food because I’m hungry and I ain’t got the money.

Mike: Sorry Double D, I ain’t got it like that – I just got enough for myself.

Double D: See Mike! That’s what I’m talking about – you can’t even help anybody out without thinking for yourself! How can you be so selfish!

Nathaniel: Whoa – calm down bro, I’ll buy you something.

Double D:  Do You even know how hard it is for families to eat?! I was gonna take this food and bring it back to my family because they haven’t seen a meal in a while! We are all hungry and I can’t even request some food without someone telling me they don’t have it?! You don’t have it? What do I have?

Mike: Sorry, Double D – I just didn’t have enough for the both of us this time around.

Nathaniel: It’s ok my bros – Double D, what do you want? Pick anything you need right now and I’ll head with you to the store – and buy whatever your family needs for the week. Now follow me, bro.

Double D: Thanks Nathaniel, I appreciate you – not many understand how hard it is for people.

Nathaniel: Yo, I get that but it’s hard for people out here too. You ain’t have to call mike selfish, he didn’t have enough, and you made a scene out there – embarrassing him and that wasn’t right.

Double D: Nah but I know he had it! He clearly was bugging because he didn’t think of others.

Nathaniel: Do you hear how that sounds? He was being selfish because he told you – he didn’t have it? Reverse the script. How would you respond, if you were Mike’s Situation? You ain’t the only one going through hard times bro! Requesting for something doesn’t mean you are entitled to those requests! I can take you out on the streets to people who got it harder than you and Martha. You got kids – they grow up fast. Ruth must be 10 and Tim must be an adolescent- shit gets expensive, but we all struggling out here in some way.

Double D: Oh Lord! Sounds like your preaching man! If I had the money, I’d pass you an offering. I doubt you struggling that much if you’re willing to help me out for the week bro.

Nathaniel: Well I have enough. It’s not a sacrifice for me – but this doesn’t mean it HAS to be a sacrifice for others. Mike had only enough for himself. I have more than enough for myself and others. I’m just glad I was right behind y’all – so I could pinch in and volunteer service. I ain’t trying to preach to you but shit, no one never knows the extent of another person’s dilemma. We owe ourselves empathy-even if you’re desperate for change. What’s going to happen here one day is that you won’t always be struggling. You’re going to work it out. Martha is going to get that promotion and the both of Y’all will have enough to take care of your kids and others. You ain’t going to stay in this bad spot – it might be hard and long but shift happens.

Double D: It’s gonna take a miracle at this point. Some people never make it out of their dilemma. Remember Henry? The Postman? Well, ever since his moms died – he been struggling bad. He had to sell his house and now he’s living in a shelter. His wife left him for another life and he works a lot – two jobs and still sometimes can’t make ends meet. Good thing he doesn’t have any children, cuz shit he wouldn’t be able to contribute much of nothing to their basic needs. Some people don’t make it out even if they pull their bootstraps up and hustle till their purple in the face. I don’t want to get to that point but I also ain’t naïve to forget the sun don’t always shine in the alleys. (Especially on the 5th avenue if you know what I mean?) Haha.

Nathaniel: Yeah, we’ll winging this game of life thing! I just think we can all do better. And all of this makes me beg the question of existence. If you had my life you’d be happy for a while because you wouldn’t be stressed about necessities. Yet, you’d worry about the other things that come with my kind of life. I suppose you’re never free from troubles no matter how good you got it. What’s the point of living if we’re all going to die anyway? I read a story about a millionaire who ended his life anyway. Money doesn’t bring happiness. I suppose it can for a brief period, but happiness seems to be engineered by biology. Some people are born happier than others and that’s to no fault of your own.

Double D: Sheeeiitt. Money is energy and good money is always appreciated bro! I appreciate you Nathaniel. I guess I didn’t have to act out so aggressively to Mike. It was just the rage of me tired of being ignored. It’s all a game of time now, goes to show anything can happen when one is HANGRY! 😀 Thanks for looking out!

Nathaniel: Next time you request of a reply make sure your ROAR is not so intimating! Ha, it’s all good bro, we’re a blessing to be a blessing!

LINK // ERROR

The following script is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…’ which is due to release at the beginning of 2019. 

Inward: Yo, Zoomy!

Zoomy: Yes – Inward?

Inward: Did you get that link I sent you about the changes about to happen on the Internet?

Zoomy: I didn’t notice you sent me anything, when and where did you send it to me?

Inward: About a week ago – I sent it through flatbird.

Zoomy: Nah, I deleted flat bird on my phone – I prefer shookie instead! What was the link about?

Inward: It was a long article, but it really broke down the immediate changes that the Internet will face. The surveillance will expand. “They” will have more access to what you like and monitor what you don’t click. It’s very serious stuff and the article explained how we can’t do much about it. It’s a fascinating read!

Zoomy: I’d love to read that! If you can send it to my email, that would be better! I read my emails often. You know I’m old school! Social media is a drag and I get so many links from various people – I don’t always get time to read it all. I miss NewsPapers where you can read all the local and international news in one good setting. I love the idea of actually turning the page.

Inward: The Newspaper is a fun and classic way of knowing information, but you got to wait longer for it. Plus too much paper can be bad for the environment. I’m glad we can send things instantly inside of a matrix. The future is wireless, yo! I prefer links because of how they are in real time. I like to speed read on the go!

Zoomy: That’s cool but I prefer taking my time to read. I miss the days when you got a new record and you could just pop it on your stereo and sit down to listen to it in one sitting. It created an experience that made you pay more attention to the details. The same goes for reading, I don’t mind reading sometimes on the go but most of the time – people don’t click the full articles. They extrapolate as much as possible form one single headline. “Wife finds man cheating on her with his assistant” You’d think that would tell you all you need to know but if you click the article, you’d find a deeper meaning with the context that a headline just can’t offer. People just see the man cheated and goes throughout their day knowing yet again, men are trash – etc. It’s not the coolest way to learn information. A headline isn’t an article, but people just read it anyway. Everyone is sending links to each other and just want them to read it and respond. But most people don’t even keep up with it because something new happens every day.

Inward: Well, after all of that, I’m not sure if I’ll ever send you anything *laughs jokingly*

Zoomy: Feel free to send me anything you find useful. I prefer a good laugh and something informative though. I could care less about XYZ getting surgery or whom they decide to marry or sensational stories of celebrities. It’s fun to talk about in passing but that’s about it.

Inward: I find celebrities fascinating. I think they are the new gods of the modern time. We look up them. We believe in them. We hold them accountable.

Zoomy: I wish more people hold them accountable but usually people let them get away with anything when their PR teams offer a half-ass apology. Regardless, I could care less about their efforts in this life unless they are contributing to the advancement of society by offering their wealth as a loop for those who need it most.

Inward: Whether you care enough or not they hold so much power and being interested in some of their leisure activities don’t harm anyone.

Zoomy: It doesn’t benefit anyone really either. You only care as much as you want to.

Inward: Touché! But I met you through the internet and that link was as random as the article I sent you on Flatbird! So I’m gonna have to get shookie and send it to you!

Zoomy:Cool!

Characters In The Wind (Remastered)

The Full-Length film ‘Characters In The Wind’ was released in 2016 but now remastered with added bits and pieces in 2018. I was initially, completely hesitant about remastering this but I needed to do it, because of my unsatisfaction on some levels with it originally. I wanted to explain the Jester Eye X – symbol once in for all which debuted at the start of 2016.

Screenshot 2018-07-09 09.11.27

CITW is the short film where conversation, poetry, music, and narration come to manifestation in full. I go all over the place which is represented by the arrows going in various directions.  I did not include an explanation for this originally but now I have while also describing what ‘Happy Forever means.

I’m sure this short film was not watched by many in fact, according to YouTube only 360 people watched it. 😀CITW2016YTMETRICS

Now you have the opportunity to watch it again, 2 years later REMASTERED! I hope you will join in on the conversation with me and enjoy it!


I’m also asking for donations of only $7.33 // or whatever your heart desires in light of completion of this project!

paypal.me/jessejenkins or for those who do not have Paypal you can submit donation here.

 

 

Donations For Creative Content

7.33 Your Donations Help Me A Great Deal!

$7.33

 

HmmMorocco!

The smells. The feels. The luring. The invitation. The persuasion. The price. The Africa! Morocco has been such a thrill since we landed on the soil. There’s a lot about Morocco that I haven’t fully grasped – (like the driving including donkeys, motorcycles, bicycles, and cars). However so much more about it has really inspired me.

Every day so far feels like a new adventure. There’s no real map of reason in terms of what to expect. The roads lead to narrow paths – narrated by a stray cat looking to past you into times past. It’s easy to get lost in the matrix of endless chances to buy and to experience. No amount of preparing can really put you in the place of being ready for what’s around the corner. It can literally be anything – I’ve not yet turned into an empty corner. Even the blankness of some alleys is filled with mystery and impending curiosity.

The best way I could describe it: You’d have to walk the streets to get the best experience of it. Granted, I’ve never been to the third world before this. I’m not even sure why we call it the third world. It’s the same world we live but the rules in how we live are way different. The people here seem so equipped in determining who is a tourist and who isn’t. My partner and I stick out like a sore thumb. She dresses with style and me myself – my hair turns a lot of faces! Some have called me Mr.Obama or even Rastafarian man. At any rate, some are curious in how they determine where someone is from. 😀

I’m living and that’s what it is all about. Life is meant to be shared and with good company, memories are even sweeter. Every color paired with a texture of experience is Kaleidoscopic. We have been on our toes with each moment. Prepared the best way we know how to – something you learn to expect. You can’t always negotiate the inevitable. Whether you are aiming high or low – you’ll land where satisfaction rises to the top.

Hand in hand – Experiences are treasures to the mind. You can never fail at the taste of the different spices. Learning to be educated while also growing to teach what one has gained. So much more to hand out – I’m just getting started. Ain’t it fun?

The Uniformed and Random!

Yesterday, I made a quarter. 25. (2+5=7) // Which is the number that has been a prominent one in my life. There’s a wealth of relation and research done for the number seven and how it connects to an array of different elements of life, death, dreams, and nightmares. Simply put, Seven for me – is a definition for a recurring reason. Seven is an algorithm of reaching the most out of the creative expansion.

Time follows us everywhere we go. We can’t escape it as it follows our direction and counts our steps. You would think all of us understand numbers because of their universal relation. However, we relate to numbers differently. They don’t always quantify what we qualify in the measures of calculation.

The dichotomy here in The Uniformed and The Random is that one is scattered and all over the place while the other follows the flow of character. My artistic statement about this is one of unity.

In the days leading up to my birthday – I noticed some changes. I started to think about what that number (25) meant and how others will perceive what I am doing in life. The expectations I must set for myself and the plan to get to my objectives matter to me. Most importantly, they will matter to other people.

4 The World

I get this a lot. People wanna know // How do you do that? How do you get to go there or get that? We know money is a like a candle in a dark room. Money is like a flame. While it burns the room giving it illumination and direction – It can also burn the same room and house with it. You need it but too much of it has the potential to destroy and rebuke progress. It has the power to consume to the core. YET – a dollar always spends and with enough digits, you can get work done.  The work is unique to everyone in this world.

I believe we all need access to proper tools to help us live a life. Not everyone is capable of working and that’s OK. You shouldn’t have to work to survive anyway, but eh – Capitalism.  However, we are all capable of sharing with the world our ‘Thing’ whatever that thing is. Getting to the nerve of it – can make one a bit crazy. It’s never easy when one is committed to making a change in the element of their thrill. I love to write, but so does many other people in the world. Some authors become best-sellers,  while others have a plethora of books most of the world has not even heard of or have access to.

The key to this is to find clarity as the days continue on. I think we all start off Random and as the days go on we are Uniformed. Random is when the elements are the same only scattered. Eyes are extended on my left arm. Head extended on my right arm. Eyeballs are now my hands. Properties are in places that are deranged. Elements of life are all over the place but in line with the true character of each element – just in different and random places.

Keep doing the work tho, whether you feel Random or Uniformed. Even if you are all over the place, people still get you if you come with a clear intention. What I’ve also noticed – and what may very well be a Life Hack:

People tend to notice things they are looking for and once they don’t find it (or do), ignore everything else.

So if you want to slip something past someone, a lie (I don’t recommend it), or something that ain’t yours, make sure they catch you on something that doesn’t matter, and they won’t even notice what is it that you were really hiding. You’ll notice it and if you got anxiety, you’ll reveal your own trick.

Whether Random or Uniformed – Like an embryo that grows, slowly through time – formation is created. Limb by limb what’s sticky eventually sticks.

 

Perplexing Chocolate

Another narration of consumption! This week: Chocolate! When the chocolate is sitting on the table, you’ve been invited to eat! However, being perplexed at the very least shows attention to what can be gained. The only thing to loose would be – well, pounds. 😉

Candy Feathers – Rainbow Forgery

The colors you bring to my mind are filled with delight and cream. I can only dream and dream when my eyes go to sleep. You’re simply what I want.

Can you be obtained, and when I finally taste of your colors – will you avenge me and forge my sensation?

Ketchup is noticeably on your clothes. You eating sloppy so slow down! This Narrative of consumption focuses on the color that comes with your favorites foods. Candy invites the dream – it entices the desire to gain with its every bite, before you know it you’ll be flying high. Just make sure your colors aren’t forged.

We’re Flattered! Gone Like Scarlett!

I’m gone with the Wind! Except the wind won’t take me back to Terra like it took Scarlet! You heard me homie! 😀 Headed to my new home in Minneapolis Minnesota! 1|7|2015 – I declare LIFE for my body so that I won’t freeze to DEATH OUT there! Seems like I’ll be traveling on the coldest day so far this season. For all my friends; who never wished me farewell before I left Texas. I wish you all love and peace in the universe. I know we’ll meet again somewhere… Somehow! Living in Texas is like eating a bowl of soup with a fork. Let’s just say Minnesota is also a city of Utensil making (Like New Orleans), the endless opportunities arise. It’s gonna be like a trampoline for me. I’m ready to JUMP!

I can’t help but feel like a plural instead of singular. I feel connected with other forces within me. The last time I went to Minnesota I felt this harmony and it brought out a poem that related to this power.

We’re Harmony
We’re stunned
We’re flattered
We’re glad…

We’re excited…
We’re mad
We’re jovial
We’re all of the pronunciation of emotion!

I take from you as you have taken from me. We are a whole – a being of organism intended to form a design that is fragile. In an instant, we are cut by ourselves – spilt apart like the membrane of an explosion in the cell. Information that brings forth questions that remain inert.

Yet the remaining ‘I’ is left unresolved.

Knew individuals are released at higher crescendos…now the WE becomes a stronger effect.

By the faulty prisms of our infrastructures, we float through the union together.  We all at once are alienated but pieced together by the sound of persuasion.

The pores in which we hear a dynamic of melody. Harmonizing together are we told by the forces installed.